"It's alright Samar—It's just a mock exam—! You can try again—!" I tried to comfort her, putting my hands on her shoulders. My heart breaking, watching her wail. Suddenly, she looked up and slapped away my hands with a jerk.
"ALRIGHT?!! Alright, you say?!! What do you even know? HUH?! Everything is so easy for you Aasiya!! You have everything!! Everything and everyone! While I—Did you even think how I feel?!! You are always so oblivious in your perfect little world! Did you think how pathetic I looked by your side—?!" Her voice cracking as she watched me with hate filled eyes. I couldn't believe this was the same Samar, I knew—How did I never notice that she—
I wasn't sure how long had it been since I was sitting by the lake, when a stray memory came back to haunt me. However, soon enough I was brought out of my daydream by someone's footsteps. I could easily recognise that familiar sound by now.
I looked over my shoulder to find Hadi standing with arms crossed over his chest, looking down at me.
Sparing him a single glance, I returned my attention to the lake. Moments passed when I felt Hadi coming to sit by my side. I waited for him to say something but when he didn't after some time passed, I finally gave in and turned to him. His gaze was focussed on the lake but on noticing my stare he turned to look at me. I couldn't read his expressions but I could feel my cheeks getting wet.
His eyes didn't waver until I heard my own sobs and turned away sharply to hide my face between my knees. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't want to stop.
Hadi didn't say anything. He didn't try to calm me down but he didn't leave my side either.
After what felt like an eternity, when I had finally calmed down, I raised my head; rubbing my cheeks with the back of my hand roughly. When suddenly, I saw the hanky Hadi was holding out to me. For a blank moment, I watched between him and the handkerchief before taking it and wiping my tears.
By then, he had turned and started walking away. I stared after his retreating back when he suddenly stopped and turned his head ever so slightly in my direction. I felt my lips quiver again, but somehow, my feet worked their way to him.
He waited until I had reached his side before beginning to take slow steps. I almost tripped on a rock, when Hadi grabbed at my hand protectively.
I froze at his touch and he seemed to sense it, as he let go immediately. His face a mixture of shock and guilt before he turned his back to me. When he began to walk, I sensed he was being cautious that I followed him safely. So, without thinking, I clutched the back of his jacket.
For a moment, he froze in his place but then he began walking again without saying anything.
There wasn't anything that needed to be said. Silence can sometimes convey what words fail to.
—————————
After lunch, I went to my room. Amo had become a little concerned since yesterday. There was no point in lying, since I came back with a beaten up Hadi too. But when I would keep saying nothing's wrong and hug her, she would give up. It was better than telling her the truth about how everything is so very wrong and how it could get worse but never better.
I was lying on my bed thinking about everything and nothing in particular, when a knock on my door cut short my train of thoughts.
"Come in." I called out, sitting up straight, thinking it was Zahra or Amo but Hadi came in.
I sat there watching him open-mouthed who in turn stared at me blankly. Turning away for a moment, as if thinking about something before he began to make his way to me. I could only gape at him dumbfounded whose face remained as inscrutable as ever. Just then, he looked away and extended his hand. Blinking, I brought my gaze to the first-aid kit in his hand.
''For your hands and—'' He didn't complete his sentence, instead exhaled a long sigh. Until this moment, I had completely forgotten about the existence of my injured hand, when that thug had thrown me to the ground. He waited for me to take it but I could only gape at him puzzled.
With another exhausted sigh, he sat down on the bed beside me. Opening the box, he pulled out an ointment and some cotton before holding out his hand for me to put mine on it.
It all felt so surreal. I took my sweet time to get his instructions through my shocked state. He didn't rush me either. When I finally gave out my hand, he took it ever so softly in his warm hold. Slowly and carefully he pulled at my fingers, one by one; looking up at my face to check for pain.
Whenever his eyes met mine, I would feel myself getting pulled into them. So, I tried to focus my attention on the pain, instead of the tingles his touch were giving me.
"Does it hurt?" His voice was raspy as he softly traced his fingers across my knuckles.
In response, I just stared at him unflinching. Taking in every detail of his handsome face before slightly shaking my head in no. I wondered, which hurt he meant but then came to the conclusion that right now, I didn't feel any pain.
He nodded slightly before applying ointment on my hand. My gaze wandered to his face and froze on his lips which were swollen by now. Bringing my free hand up to his face, I touched a finger to the corner of his swollen lip. He flinched at my touch, bringing his bewitching blue eyes to meet mine.
I gave him a blank look, before returning my gaze back to the skin by his lips which my fingers were lightly caressing.
"Does it hurt?" My voice came out in a whisper as I brought my eyes to meet his. He watched me with a million unreadable emotions burning in his eyes before looking away, abruptly.
Grabbing my hand gently, he slowly shook his head and let go of my hand before returning to finish my dressing.
After this, he got up and left the box on the table. He was at the door when he suddenly stopped in his tracks.
"Don't forget to put medicine on your face, too—" he instructed in his military manner and left before giving me a chance to say thankyou.
That night, I fell asleep looking at my bandaged hand.
———————————-
"Oh! It's snowing!!" I cried, peering out through the window. Paying no heed to Amo's call to finish my breakfast, I stood up and ran out to the veranda barefoot.
"It's so beautiful." I whispered to no one, taking in the white blanket of snow covering everything in it's thick embrace. Even though it was morning, the sky was still dark. The cold shudders running through my body, made me grab a hold of my senses and I dashed back into the house.
"Aasiya—Love, atleast finish your meal—" Amo began when I came in but I quickly cut her off.
"Amo—I am not hungry anymore—-" I exclaimed excited and slided towards my room to get my jacket but halted in the middle of my tracks and ran back to where Amo and Zahra were having their breakfast. Sitting down by my plate, I quickly gobbled down the last of my meal.
"Eat slowly love! The snow isn't going anywhere—!" Amo cried out worried but I only looked up to give her a toothy grin.
"I am done!!" I announced and ran to my room, wearing as many layers as I would need to sustain in the cold for a few hours.
Running outside, I quickly got on the task with collecting snow to make my snowman. It had just started to snow, but I had plenty to suffice me.
"What are you doing?" I had been so immersed in my work that I didn't notice him, until he had called out.
"Huh?" I looked up, huffing slightly from the exertion to find Hadi crouched next to me. Giving him a childish grin, I looked away, rubbing my forehead with the back of my gloved hand.
"I am making a snowman, of course!" I returned with a heave, rolling the ball to where I had placed the first one.
"I think 2 should be fine—Captain! Please help me put it on top—!" I called out over my shoulder. I was still panting, with my back to him and hands resting on my waist.
"—Are you a kid? I don't remember the last time, I made a snowman." He remarked calmly, easily picking up my snowball and placing it atop the first one.
"Hah! That's because you have had too many opportunities to! We don't appreciate the value of things when they are in our possession. Only when we are deprived, do we realise their true worth." I uttered easily, watching over my almost completed snowman and then turned to him, who was eyeing me with an unreadable expression.
"But by then it's too late, huh, Captain?" I ended with a wide grin and slumped down near my snowman.
"What should I name him, Captain?" I inquired without looking up and took out pebbles from my pocket to make his eyes and mouth.
"Oh! I accidentally gave him a poker face!" I cried out laughing and turned my eyes to Hadi, who was watching me with warm eyes and a small smile. Before getting pulled into those eyes again, I averted my gaze with a faltering smile.
"He is going to be Kaptaan! Because he has got a poker face like you too!" Once again, I had erupted into fits of laughter but as I tried to stand, I slipped and fell flat on my back with a oomph. I felt Hadi's hand graze mine, as he tried to catch me but failed.
"Is this karma? For laughing at you?" I returned in a monotone, staring at the falling snow with my hands spread on my either sides. My view was obscured by Hadi peering down at me, with a tilt of head.
"It might be." And after saying that, he came to lay by my side. We both laid there in silence with the snow falling on our faces. I felt like it was cooling the anger and hatred simmering in my heart, putting a cool touch to it.
"After the end of cold winter, there is a spring festival with cherry blossom in full bloom. You will like that very much." I heard him say in a small voice. He knew I was going to leave in some days and it's barely been the start of winter; spring wasn't until next year. But I didn't correct him. Because we both maybe wanted to forget about the reality for a moment and live in this dream, until daybreak comes and our eyes open.
"Really? Will you take me then?" I asked instead, turning my head to him ever so slightly. In return, he craned his neck to meet my eyes. For a while, he didn't say anything but only continued to look into my eyes. And then ever so slowly, he blinked.
"Yes. It's a promise." He whispered, his eyes never leaving mine. I felt a lump forming in my neck and had to gulp it down, before tears could find it's way to my eyes.
Smiling at him softly, I raised a pinky finger at him. His eyes left mine for the barest of second, before finding them again. And then I felt him knotting his finger with mine gloved one. A lone tear escaped the confines of my eyes and got buried in the snow underneath.
"Don't break it or your pinky will fall off." My voice barely a whisper as I pulled away, even before the words had left my mouth.
Because I knew this promise was never meant to be kept.
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