Zivah's POV
"Stop," Alizeh shouted putting her hands over her ears. Cody barked loudly as well.
We were currently on the road stuck in traffic as we were out to attend the bash Rupath was throwing for Ved. Apparently to lecture him along with me. But I don't it's even happening.
I haven't met Ved after the last time at his house as he was busy with his job-related stuff considering he is leaving pretty soon. So I already missed a couple of days yet again to be with him. But I didn't complain this time and instead left him alone so that he could recover from his state of feeling guilty or whatever he was holding back that time.
I made use of those days to work on my writing and spending quality time with the family excluding my mom. Actually she left soon enough much to my delight. So I felt at ease to be at home again and work on my favorite thing. I also spend time with my favorite Chachi and Chachu. I haven't spent much time with them since they arrived so I made up for that as well. I enjoyed these days without him although I constantly missed him. But, it was much better than those tortuous 10 days without no contact at all.
I am just happy I will get to see him today again.
"What are you doing?" Alizeh asked Ahil who was sitting beside on the driver's seat and honking the horn for about 10 minutes continuously now.
"What am I supposed to do? This dude is just not moving." He said with pure irritation and pressed the horn again. Alizeh and I groaned loudly. Cody barked again.
"You are torturing that pure soul." Alizeh looked back at Cody who was sitting beside me.
"I know... He ij sho badh." She talked like a child tune with him. I chuckled looking at them as Cody licked her hand.
"God, I'm so done with these people," Ahil shouted punching the steering, "Why can't they just walk? Who drives this slow?" He asked looking at Alizeh who rolled her eyes. I chuckled seeing him like this.
"Um... I don't think they can fly over other cars so yes it's how people drive when there is traffic." Alizeh said with sarcasm.
"I just don't believe it," Ahil said being disappointed, "We should have walked instead anyway his house is way too close."
"Stop whining," Alizeh said with annoyance. "Anyway, I'm just happy knowing that Ved proved me wrong and I don't have to beat him up." She said further shrugging her shoulders and giving me a sly smile. I rolled my eyes.
"You wouldn't have beat him up anyway. You are a biased bitch." I said folding my arms. Alizeh let out a laugh.
"That I am. It's tough when you look at that beautiful face." She said shrugging and winking. I gave her an unpleasant look but she was still laughing weirdly. I looked at Ahil.
"Ahil?" I asked. He looked back at me and then at the weirdo beside him.
"I have given up on her long long back." He said shaking his head. I chuckled again as Ali shamelessly let out another loud laugh.
"By the way, girls?" Ahil said after some time. We gave him a questioning look. "I don't know any of them as I was basically absent from everywhere." He said.
"Thank god you finally realized," Alizeh said with a roll of her eyes.
"Don't worry. They are all cool except for Mishka but if I can get along then anyone in the world can." I said.
"That's true." Ali nodded her head and looked back at me with questioning face, "And who is Mishka? What did I miss?" She asked widening her eyes.
"She is Randhir's fiancee... Sorry, his girlfriend as she likes to call herself." I said letting out a chuckle at last.
"What?" She asked not believing. I nodded at her.
"Yes, she is kind of annoying," I said.
"What she does?" Ahil asked out of nowhere.
"Doctor in some Bangalore hospital," I said to which he nodded.
"Then why is she here?" Alizeh asked giving unpleasant look which stated her annoyance.
"I don't know if she is here now or not but she came over for Parth's birthday," I said shrugging my shoulders.
"I would be glad if she won't be around this time," Alizeh said moving her gaze back to the road, "I'm in no mood to fight."
"Why would you fight?" Ahil asked giving a confused expression.
"Because annoying and bitchy attitude people get on my nerves," she said, "I treat them the same."
"There is one more," I said as she looks at me through the front-rear mirror, "Sonia, Kunal's girlfriend," I said further, "But she is sweet and I like her." I finished with a genuine smile.
"Wow, you got too comfortable with them in no time," Ahil said smiling back at me.
"That too without any of us around," Alizeh added with an impressed smile.
"That's true, Zivi." Ahil said again, "I'm glad to see the change."
"Me too," I said with a full smile as I caressed Cody by pulling him closer to me with full force and making him uncomfortable beside me.
*************
We made our way to the door after giving the keys to the watchman to park the car. Cody was wagging his tail rapidly stating his happiness.
The door was open. We made our way inside the house through the passage. To my surprise, everyone was already present.
Renee gave us a big smile as she came to greet us.
"Finally you guys are here!" She said through a smile as she hugged the three of us.
"Yes, someone took too much time to get ready," Ahil said giving her an apologetic smile. Alizeh rolled her eyes at him as Renee let out a laugh.
"Hey boy!" Renee got on her knees to greet Cody, "I so wanted to meet you as I heard loads about you." Cody wagged his tail rapidly making Renee giggle. We smiled looking down at them.
"Welcome." She said caressing Cody and got up.
"Come, Zivah," Renee said holding my hand and pulling me inside the house. I followed her happily. Alizeh and Ahil were beside me as they walked adorning the house.
"Guys, look who is here!" She declared once we reach outside in the garden.
Parth, Laksh, Kunal, and Sonia had the biggest smiles when they spotted us. I felt good. They came to give their greetings.
But before meeting us they greeted the star of the hour. Cody Chandra. Cody wagged his rail so rapidly seeing all those people that it scared me for a moment.
After the greetings with Cody were done, people started to move towards us.
"It feels so good to see you again," Sonia said hugging me tightly.
"Same here," I said with great efforts as her hug was way too tight.
"You will suffocate her, Sonia," Kunal said pulling her away from me. Sonia got away and jerked him hard making me chuckle.
"Just forgive her," Kunal said as I gave him a big bear hug. He returned the affection.
"Parth, Laksh!" I said as if I was meeting them after a long gap. They chuckled and pulled me in a joint hug.
It's strange how these people who were stranger just a month back has become so important part of my life. Though I think maybe... There's a possibility that I won't stay in touch with them as life goes along but it still won't change the bond I share with them. And no matter when I get to see them again, I'll make sure it remains the same at least from my side.
"I don't see Rupath and Ved?" Alizeh asked.
"They are having their private time," Renee said chuckling. I gave her a displeasing look. Alizeh and Sonia let out a laugh.
"Don't add to her worries, Renee," Alizeh said through her laugher.
"Don't worry, babe. I won't let anything wrong happen." Renee said patting on my shoulder with a smile. I smiled gratefully at her. "Randhir and Mishka will skip this," Renee said further. I nodded understanding. Anyway, I was expecting this so it's not a surprise.
I looked around to see Ahil already joined Parth, Laksh, and Kunal. Cody joined Ahil ditching me. I could see Ahil explaining something to them as they were laughing uncontrollably. I wonder how? I mean we just got here and he is already best friends with them.
I looked around at the arrangements. They were simple yet stunning.
"I love these lights, Renee," I told her genuinely. Alizeh nodded beside me.
"It's done by the ever so wonderful Sonia," Renee said dramatically as she threw her hand dramatically bending down to bow at us. We chuckled looking at her.
"Thank you. Thank you." she said dramatically, "I have to impress Ved after all." she finished giving me a wink. I let out a laugh shaking my head. So did Renee.
I looked at Ali who looked confused. She looked at Sonia with a frown and then at me.
"What?" She asked raising her eyebrows at me.
"She is joining his group as they are leaving for Antarctica," I explained it to her. Her expressions eased up as she looked at Sonia with a smile.
"Oh, I didn't know that." She said.
"I actually forgot," I said again giving an apologetic smile, "She is his college friend who apparently happened to be his colleague as well." Alizeh just gave me an unpleasant expression to which I mouthed a sorry.
"Yup that's right," Sonia said nodding her head. "Sonia Rai, By the way." She said extending her hand for a handshake.
Alizeh took it with a smile, "Alizeh Chandra." Alizeh looked a little confused as she looked at Sonia. Renee and I along with Sonia gave her the confused look back.
She widened her eyes as she got something.
"That's what I was thinking that I have seen you somewhere." She said with a big smile. "You interviewed my Dadu and Dadi sometimes back, right?" She asked.
"Dadu? You mean Ashok and Nandini Chandra?" Sonia asked. Alizeh nodded at her as she chuckled.
"Damn, what a personality do those two hold. I was awestruck." She said dreamily, "I'm lucky that I know their granddaughters."
She looked back at us with a smile. We smiled back at her. I won't judge her nor blame her as it's obvious to get star stuck by looking at their personalities. The way they talk, the way they walk. It just screams elegance.
And then here I am. A total mess.
"What happened?" I heard Sonia say. I looked at her to which she raised her eyebrows at me.
"I didn't know that you knew," I said pouting at her. Sonia, Renee, and Alizeh chuckled a little.
"Of course I know as I have seen you in tabloids along with your parents posing away with royalty," Sonia said dramatically making everyone laugh.
"Shut up!" I said hitting her on arm.
"Rest of us don't read business magazines so we didn't know this," Renee said.
"I'm glad," I said genuinely.
"I was assigned to entertainment column first and then business so I know all of these personalities," Sonia said again. I nodded at her.
"Don't worry girl, I will still treat you the same." She said further putting her arm around my shoulder, "Diligently."
I gave her an unpleasant look as these three ladies started laughing again.
"So what else is happening?" Renee asked after some time.
"Nothing much," Alizeh said with a shrug, "I am busy with more and more work. My to be in-laws want to meet my parents." She said further making Renee gasp.
"Oh my god," she said excitedly, "So is it happening?"
"Most likely," Alizeh nodded, "I don't know if I'm ready yet."
"Don't worry," Renee said putting her arm around Alizeh's, "I know you will be fine."
"You are getting married?" Sonia asked.
"I guess so," Alizeh said nodding.
"Oh boy, I'll pray for you," Sonia said letting out a chuckle. Alizeh agreed to her as she shook her head.
"Guys why?" Renee said, "It's not bad. I mean we are together even now. What is marriage is going to change?"
"Oh Renee, you are so naive," Sonia said again with a full smile.
"The difference in my case is that we don't have to see each other 24/7 then I live with my family at my house and finally, I suck at being responsible," Alizeh said.
"That's what you think. It will be fine." Renee said pulling her closer by side.
"I hope so," Alizeh said.
"What about you?" Alizeh asked Renee standing straight.
"I'm my usual self. Juggling with modeling assignments and ad shoot." Renee said letting out a sigh. "Personally, it's going great. I'm happy." She said with a happy smile. She ended up with a little blush.
"You are blushing." Sonia pointed out. Renee blushed again.
"What's going on?" Alizeh asked with curiosity.
"It's nothing. I guess it's time for me to get hitched as well," She said, "I mean I'm way older than you guys."
I let out a laugh as Sonia and Alizeh gave her unpleasant expressions.
"Yes, you should have kids right away," Alizeh said, "I can't wait to become masi."
"I'm just excited for everything that lies ahead," Renee said as excitement and happiness was visible on her face.
That reminded me of that jackass yet again. The VVIP hasn't arrived yet when the whole party is hosted for him. I moved my gaze around and back to the girls.
"Right now, I'm just excited to start the new phase of my career," Sonia said, "I can't wait to roam and explore something new."
"I'm happy for you and you can keep an eye on Ved," Renee said.
"Absolutely, I will beat the shit out of him if he even eyes another girl let alone flirt with them," Sonia said adding some drama. I shook my head a little.
"I guess Zivah has someone dependable," Alizeh said winking.
"Yes for sure," I said nodding my head with a smile.
"Here is your Ved," Sonia said looking past Renee who was standing opposite to her. We all followed her gaze to see Rupath and Ved entering through the glass door.
They joined the rest of the boys giving high-fives and hugs. Cody ran towards Ved rapidly as soon as he spotted him. Ved smiled widely and bent down along with Rupath to caress him. I haven't seen Cody this happy with any stranger. Ved let Cody do whatever he wanted as he had a big smile on his face.
I then saw Ved walking towards Ahil as they talked something. Rupath joined them as he shook hands with Ahil.
Ahil pointed in our direction and Rupath and Ved looked towards us.
My heart beat loudly when my gaze met Ved's. He gave me a gentle smile and a nod. I smiled back at him and gestured through my eyes answering for an unasked question. He surprisingly understood me and gestured back.
He looked away and waved at other girls. Renee assured them to join in some moments to which they agreed and got back to talking.
"You look lost?" I heard Sonia and looked at her.
"I'm good," I said with plain expression.
"You can tell us," Renee said. Alizeh gave me a concerned look.
"I told him," I said looking at Ved and back at girls.
"Told him what?" Alizeh asked giving me a confused look.
"About how I feel," I said shrugging.
"Shit. No ways," Alizeh said shockingly, "I mean..."
"Yes, I never thought you will accept it so easily?" Renee said with a small smile. "We were just teasing." She said further.
"Oh my god, finally!" Alizeh said loudly again dramatically as if she has been hit with something.
"What did he say?" Sonia asked holding back her full smile. All of the three girls looked at me with curiosity. I let out a sigh.
"You serious? He rejected you?" Alizeh asked raising her eyebrows, "And you didn't bother to tell me?" I shook my head gently.
"It's not about him rejecting me or accepting it," I said, "It's about how I feel and I just wanted to express it. I'm happy as the way our relation turned out to be," I continued, "There are a lot of things I learned from just being with him." I looked at Ved briefly who was laughing at something Parth said.
"I found my mental stability most importantly," I said looking back at them, "I feel like now I'm ready to go back and kickstart my life yet again. I don't expect anything more from him." I finished with a genuine smile. All of them returned it.
"Besides, Renee," I said moving my gaze to Renee, "You knew he wouldn't have been able to accept me this easily anyway."
"True. He is just scared to trust people." Renee said nodding.
"So you both are okay?" Sonia asked with worry. I smiled at her wholeheartedly.
"He was acting weird but I hope he is fine now," I said chuckling. Renee and Sonia smiled.
"I just want to hug you. My little Zee who would cry on anything has grown up to this mature woman." Alizeh said coming closer to me and pulling me in a tight hug. I chuckled.
"He will understand it pretty soon," Renee said with a smile.
"Yes, I'll keep you updated about that asshole," Sonia said. I nodded at her. "Don't worry," She said further, "I won't still let him flirt with anyone. I won't let my ship sink this easily." She continued holding me tightly with the arm. I laughed.
"Yes, unrequited love hurt the most," Renee said hugging me from the other side. I let out more laugh looking at these three hopeless girls around me, clinging onto me.
"Girl, you can join us as well. If you don't mind." Rupath shouted. We looked at him and gave an unpleasant look. The boys chuckled and got back into their conversation.
We started walking towards where they were sitting when Alizeh held me back.
"Are you really fine?" She asked with worry visible on her face. I gave her an honest smile.
"Should I be just honest?" I asked.
"Of course." She nodded.
"I'm fine at least now but I know it's gonna hurt like shit once he goes away. I won't be able to hold back then." I said genuinely in a low voice.
"Just be with me," I said looking at her. She smiled at me pulling me closer.
"I'm always with you whether you need me or not." She said. I gave her a smile as she started walking.
"And one more..." I said holding her again. Alizeh raised her eyebrows at me.
"Don't act like a bitch with him," I said pouting. Ali rolled her eyes.
"Ali, please." I said squeezing her hand tight, "He will be going away in some 10 days. Don't make it any harder for him." I said.
"Fine. Just for you." She let out a deep sigh.
"Thanks," I said with a big smile.
"He doesn't know what he is about to lose." Alizeh said as we started walking to the sitting area, "I hope he gets his shit right."
*************
Rupath stayed true to his words as he gave a big lecturing to Ved about his irresponsible behavior. Well, he tried hard to keep those serious expressions on his face but that was of no use and all of us were laughing our asses out looking at his dramatic expressions.
Finally, he frowned at all of us and gave up the topic. He started lecturing me and Parth about how we ditched him when he needed us. We just held our ears and said sorry to him. He made an unpleasant face sipping on his whiskey.
Other times went with us bickering about literally anything and laughing at our own jokes. The mood was light and gave away happy vibes.
The three annoying girls were leaving no chance to annoy Ved with stupid questions and teasing about relationship and me. I stayed quiet most of the time containing my laugher and giving sorry looks to Ved's glares. He finally gave up defending and heard whatever they have to say without complaining.
The helpers started serving the dinner when it was time.
I sat beside Ved and Alizeh on either side while Sonia sat opposite to me on the dining table.
Cody was sitting behind my and Ved's chair as Ved served him his special food. The guy was eating happily. What made me happy is that Renee specially arranged the soft mattress bag for Cody to sit or sleep. He can do whatever once he is finished eating. There were treats, toys, and bones kept aside so he won't get bored. It made me smile from ear to ear and I couldn't have thanked enough.
The dining table was set below a big tree with its branch spread out. It was so beautiful out there. The area was separated from the main garden with the floor painted in white.
From the lower branches of that tree hung two lamps liting the dining area dimly. There were garden lamps to provide the needed light to the place. The whole thing was mesmerizing with beautiful flowers and bushes all around. It was calming and peaceful to be surrounded by nature. It just made dinner time so intimate and special. It was just us, gathered together enjoying our dinner and our inside talks, surrounded by the beautiful garden.
"Sorry," I said in a low voice looking at Ved, "I didn't want to tell them. It's just..."
"It's okay. They would have found out anyway." Ved said as he shrugged.
"By the way, I thought we will be spending all the time together for these days but you have no intentions it seems," I said frowning a bit, "Are you still..."
"No. You can ask Sonia. I had extra work this time because of that girl." Ved said pointing towards Sonia and then looking back at me, "I have to introduce her to the whole group then the whole formalities. Letting her know about everything and there are loads of stuff to take care of."
I stopped eating and give me all my attention to him. I honestly didn't think of any of these possibilities and now I feel stupid.
"Besides that, we need to come up with some concept, look for all of the necessary gadgets, prepare everything literally," Ved said further.
"Wow, there actually is loads of work. So when you said you were busy you were doing this?" I asked raising my eyebrows.
"What did you think? Ved is flirting somewhere?" Ved asked with a smirk. I gave him an apologetic look.
"Sorry," I said pouting at him. He chuckled.
"This is just some of it. There is loads, that go behind." He said. I nodded taking one chicken piece in the fork.
"But don't worry we still have some more days and when I couldn't make it then you can come over to my place, I anyway don't go out. Everything is over calls and conferences." He said with a smile. I smiled back at him.
"Sounds cool. I'll do that." I said.
"You'll be going back, Zivah?" Renee asked from beside Sonia.
"Yes, umm..." I said munching the chicken which was already in my mouth rapidly to continue further, "Just a week after Ved leaves."
"Wow, it's like if you both planned everything." Kunal said giving a suspicious look to us as he was sitting opposite to Ved, "It wasn't, right?"
"Of course not," Ved said giving him irritated expression. Kunal gave a flying kiss to him to make him further annoyed. I let out a small chuckle.
"What are we supposed to do then? Without you three?" Renee said pouting.
"Seriously yaar, Zee. I'm gonna miss you." Ali gave me a pout as well.
"Relax, Ali. There are still days left." I said assuring her with a smile.
"Yes and most of the time you'll be out with the Jerk?" Alizeh said rolling her eyes.
"Ali, yaar!" I almost shouted at her. I saw Renee, Sonia, and Kunal laugh.
"No one calls my brother a jerk," Rupath said from beside Ved and followed by Ahil and opposite to them sat Parth and Laksh.
"Oh come on Rupath!" Alizeh said making her voice louder so he can hear, "Not this time."
"She is right actually which I hate the most," Rupath said nodding.
"Fine." Ved said with annoyance visible in his voice, "I know I'm the biggest jerk. If that's what makes you all happy." He said cutting the chicken piece with a knife and fork. I let out a sigh hearing him. The table stood quiet and Cody barked loudly making us laugh, including Ved.
"Why are you so stubborn, Ved?" Parth asked.
"It's how I am," Ved said, "You guys know me better."
"And by the way, Ali, we talk all the time. I know you'll be visiting me as well." I said changing the topic a bit, "I can't say the same for him."
"I'll Skype you every other day," Sonia said winking at me, "Don't worry."
I chuckled. I saw Ved glaring at her but she was unaffected. Kunal gave him a look and Ved rolled his eyes shaking his head a bit. I let out a small laugh.
"What's about the band? What next?" I asked turning the tables for good.
"Next is that we are traveling to LA next month for something exciting," Parth said with a smile. Rupath and other boys returned his smile.
"What?" Ved asked.
"We have signed a big contract with this big label so we will be flying to make the final deal," Rupath said taking the glass of whiskey in the air like a toast.
"That's cool. Congrats!!!" I said bending forward to look at Rupath. He smiled widely as happiness was clearly visible on his face. Other boys cheered for themselves making us laugh.
"So if that's finalized then you'll leave as well?" Alizeh asked.
"Nah!! We will record from wherever we want to." Rupath said shrugging his shoulders, "We will just spend some days there to understand what they want and stuff, that's all."
"India is my country!" Laksh shouted. All of us let out a laugh.
"Yes!!" Other boys said together.
"You don't speak much Ahil?" Parth asked.
"I'm not that social," Ahil said.
"He just talks in conferences giving his view," Alizeh said sarcastically.
"Dude, you own a company. How can you not socialize?" Laksh said taking the spoon to his mouth.
"It's all formal. I'm not much used to random talking." Ahil said awkwardly.
"You both have been together for?" Renee asked taking a sip from her red wine.
"Since school so for like 15 years or something," Ahil said in his ever so gentle voice.
"Holy shit!" Kunal said almost throwing out the beer. Sonia and Ved gave him a disgusted look. He smiled at them.
"You are joking right?" Laksh asked raising his eyebrows, still not believing anything he heard.
"No," Ahil said chuckling.
"That's insane, man!" Rupath said.
"That's so cute," Renee said, "Being with someone for those many years. You guys just know everything about each other."
"Well, it's great but sometimes just a few months are enough to know someone as well," Ahil spoke the words of wisdom. I don't know if he was pointing at me and Ved or was just saying it.
"That's true," Parth said.
"It doesn't have to be years," Sonia said munching her food and looking down at the plate, "Sometimes years-long relationships fail as well."
"True and a month-long relationship survive through the time," Alizeh said. Everyone else exchanged the looks and stopped at Ved.
"I know everything is coming back to me," Ved said not giving any shit about anyone.
"Guys just for once think everything keeping your hearts aside." He looked up from his plate, keeping the fork and knife to the side.
"Alizeh, we will start with you." He said moving in his seat as he looked at Alizeh.
"Okay, go one." She said nodding giving him his full attention.
"If you think you have started developing some kind of feelings for some dude who you met for like a month ago? Consider you are away for your own stuff and had a big fight with Ahil over something." He said explaining nicely to her. I let out a sigh.
What an amazing thing, explaining my story to my own sister. I shook my head in disappointment.
"What will you do?" He asked looking carefully at her, "Think practically and answer."
I could sense Alizeh's eyes on me.
"If she develops feelings for someone else then the first one is already over years back. Isn't it?" I asked looking back at Ved.
"She shouldn't go back to Ahil in the first place," I said further, "It's like playing with his feelings."
I finished shrugging my shoulders as I took a sip of my whiskey, putting down the glass again. Ved adjusted in his seat again but didn't say anything further. Others went quite as well and busied themselves with eating.
"So Zivah, you'll be joining the company again?" Sonia broke the silence.
"Yup," I said nodding.
"You don't seem to be happy?" Renee asked.
"I just don't want to go back but...," I said genuinely. I don't know why and how. Maybe because of this whiskey?
"I have to as my job is there," I said, "I can't waste any more days."
"Work here?" Renee said, "I can see the passion for your job when you talked last time."
"I love what I do. It's just I don't want to be in New York amongst those people." I said feeling depressed by the mere thought of it.
"I wish I could just keep you here," Alizeh said hugging me from the side.
"Marry him." Kunal said pointing at Ved, "You'll stay here."
"That's the best way actually," Rupath said. Parth and Laksh gave me a known smile as I shook my head at them.
"You guys have gone nuts!" Ved said in a low voice. Irritation, annoyance, and anger visible in his voice. It made me scared.
"Tell me one thing, Zivah." He said tilting his head, "Are you all sorted out about your feelings?"
"Yes," I said, not being sure where he was taking this.
"What happens when Vihaan comes back?" He asked. I felt betrayed. How can he mention him in front of everyone? I told him with loads of effort. How can he do that? I took deep breaths to get in everything.
There was pin-drop silence that surpassed on the table. Everyone stopped what they were doing.
"Will it be the same? Won't you regret?" Ved asked further, raising his eyebrows. I looked around on the table. Everyone was quiet. Not exactly looking at me but it didn't matter.
I saw Ved let out a sigh as he closed his eyes briefly. The anger, the annoyance was replaced by guilt and regret. He was feeling sad. Now?
But now what? He can't take back what he said. It's already gone out there.
"No..." I said looking down at my plate. I felt Alizeh's hand over mine but I took it back as I got up from my seat taking my purse in hand, "Excuse me."
I left my place and walked inside the house.
"What's wrong with you?" I heard Rupath shouting at him but I couldn't stay to hear anything more. My vision blurred out as I made my way towards the washroom.
**********
I washed my face and wiped it with tissues. There was still redness to my face. I know it won't go away easily.
How I am supposed to go out looking like this?
I took some deep breaths to calm myself further down when I heard my phone vibrate inside the purse.
I took it out as it notified me I got a new mail in my inbox.
I was about to dismiss it as all I get on my Gmail account is some promotional emails but then I read his name. My heart started pounding inside my chest. I could hear my own heartbeats, loud and clear.
I felt my palms sweaty. Why? Why now?
I pressed on the notification with shaky hands. Although I didn't want to.
I took one deep breath before looking at the screen and reading out the mail.
Zee,
I know you are angry with me and yes, you're right in your place. You should be. That's also a form of love. At least that's how I want to think. I have been a jerk, an asshole to you for all these passing months. I ignored you, said some really shitty things, and made you feel worthless.
I took you for granted thinking that one day you will come back to me somehow. You won't be able to stay away from me. Because you love me. I forgot in the process that I'm not the only guy on this earth and that there are men better than me who might do it for you.
And now as I think of that, it scares me. I fear with the thought that you actually are going away from me with each passing day and I can't take it anymore.
I love you, Zee. I am really sorry for all the mistakes I have made, for all the pain I have given to you. I am so sorry. You have always loved me and given me countless chances and all I did was to throw them away. I was blinded with the thought of reaching the heights. To become rich like your Dad. So that I could provide you and our kids all the comforts. But what I forgot was that if I don't have you then what's the point of all this?
I get that now as you are no more here. I miss the talks, I miss those kisses, I miss everything about you. And I'm ready to pay anything just for you to come back. We can do everything you want to do. I promise I will be the old Vihaan you wanted me to be. Just come back...
I hope you forgive me. If not today then I'll wait for that one day with all my heart.
If possible please call me or at least message me. I couldn't reach you as you have blocked me. Please, Zivah. I'll do everything and anything to mend the things between us. I want us to be the same as before again. And I know you want that as well.
I love you and I miss you...
Yours,
Vihaan
I dropped my mobile on the counter in front as tears flowed fearlessly through my eyes again. I pressed my sobs inside my mouth, not letting them come out.
Why is this happening with me? I thought I have dealt with my feelings but why is this happening now? Why am I feeling things for Vihaan that I thought I left behind? I don't know what exactly I'm feeling for him. All I know is I don't want to feel this.
Were Ved's words actually right? Does his concern actually justify? Looking at my state and this mail I can say I still have unfinished things and feelings to take care of. I thought those are gone but I guess Ved knew all along. He is actually right. I can't do that, not until I actually sort out my own feelings.
What is happening to me? How can I be this messed up?
I was so confident for all these days that I love Ved then why this one mail from Vihaan feels so... Ugh!
I hate to admit it but yes I do still hold some feelings for Vihaan. After reading that mail, a part of me was truly happy, a part of me wished for him to have realized things a little sooner. But it's too late now. I've given my heart to Ved and there's no doubt in my love for him. But I still hold some emotions towards Vihaan which I need to sort out.
I shook my head a couple of times. I took some water and washed my face but tears kept pouring out of my eyes. My mind was a mess just like my physical state. My eyes were swollen, my nose and cheeks were red from crying.
I don't know what to do. I felt guilty for pulling Ved into this mess without thinking things through. I felt ashamed because all this time I thought I was right but I was just being delusional. I just couldn't see things as it is and I blamed Ved. Or at least I put things on him. I still have undead feelings to deal with. I haven't fully gotten over Vihaan. That reality stinks so bad.
But what hurts me the most is that I unknowingly blamed Ved for stating the truth, stating that I might still have feelings for Vihaan. He was right all along. I thought I completely moved on from him just because I blocked him on my phone and stopped thinking of him. I forgot to see that he's going to be a part of my life once I get to New York. He's going to be there around me, how will things be then? How will I deal with that?
We haven't even sorted out things properly. I just cut him off without much thought. It doesn't work that way. I can't throw him out of my life like that, especially when he's been around for as long as I can remember. Vihaan has been my best friend, my boyfriend, my colleague, my fiance, my everything. He was my whole world at some point and I can't cut someone so important to me from my life just like that. I was just being stupid. I was just reckless.
But I also know that what I feel for Ved is true. It's not an attraction or attachment or whatever. It's love. I've never been so sure of anything before in my life. But it's also true that I need to sort out a few things with Vihaan as well.
I took a few deep breaths trying to contain myself. I've been in the washroom for some time now. I should get out and maybe talk to Ved about this. I washed my face a few times and wiped it with tissues kept beside the sink. My eyes still looked red and swollen but I don't have time to wait around for it to turn normal. So I decided to step out anyway.
I got out of the washroom to find Ved already standing there, leaning against the wall. He looked up at me, not meeting my gaze.
"Zivah..." He was saying but I cut him off.
"Ved..." I said with a broken voice as I ran towards him throwing my arms around him.
Ved stumbled backward with my sudden movement. I held him tight, hiding my face in the crook of his neck as the tears started flowing yet again.
"What happened?" He asked me putting his hand over my head, "Zivah?"
I cried a little louder letting my tears fall on his jacket making it wet. I felt Ved's grip tighten around me as he pulled me closer.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He said in a low voice as I cried even more, "It just got out. I didn't know, how. Trust me I never intended to say that. I'm so sorry." He said pulling me further close to him even when there was no space.
"It's not you," I said in a low voice, still staying the same. I sniffed hard but still didn't let him go away.
"You are right, Ved," I said moving my hand around his waist and holding him tight and close, "I shouldn't be reckless."
"I actually need to sort of many things," I continued calming myself down, "I have been irresponsibly handling everything in my life."
"I thought..." I said and moved my head a little putting it on his chest, "Everything was over between me and Vihaan."
"But was it that easy?" I said, moving from his waist and playing with a button of his shirt, "I love you there is no doubt." I moved my head back to look at him.
Ved looked down at me with concern clearly visible in his face. He wiped the tears away from my face.
"I just haven't thought about Vihaan yet," I said further, "I just assumed everything without discussing and telling anything to him."
"What happened?" Ved asked in a low voice.
I pulled back from the hug with great efforts. I was about to start when Ved gestured me to stop.
"Hold on," he said, "Let's go somewhere else." I nodded at him.
He held my hand and started walking through the passage. I followed him involuntarily.
He opened one door as we entered the room. It was dark but Ved turned on the lights. He closed the door behind us and walked towards me.
I stood there absent-minded as many thousand thoughts ran inside my head.
"What happened?" Ved asked standing closer to me. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes for a brief moment before starting.
"Vihaan mailed," I said in a low voice. I looked at Ved to see his expressions.
I could see hurt flashed through his eyes. But it was gone in no time. Did I read anything wrong? I don't know. He just stood there without giving away anything.
"He apologized and..." I started again as he refused to speak anything.
"He said that he loves me... and want me back in his life," I said further carefully. I walked towards the wall-sized glass window of the room and looked outside. The whole garden was visible and I could see the rest of the people still on around the dining table, talking.
"What do you think? What you want?" Ved asked in his calm voice. I looked back at him.
"I don't have any doubt about you, Ved," I said walking back to him, "I know how I feel about you."
"But?" He asked raising his eyebrows. I wonder how can he be so calm.
Either he doesn't feel anything at all or maybe he is a good actor.
"Nothing." I said shaking my head, "I think I still have a lot of stuff to sort out with Vihaan. I need to meet him and settle everything between us." I said letting out a sigh, "Whatever is left."
"And what if you then realize that you still love him?" Ved asked again. I gulped hard as he went on, "That what you ever felt for me was just a mere attraction and nothing else?"
"We will see that..." I said giving him a gentle smile, "I guess soon enough."
There's no question about my love for Ved but the only thing is I still have some leftover feelings for Vihaan. I need to clear that. I need to face him and end things between us in a proper way. But...
"God!!! This is a pure mess!" I said holding my hairs with frustration, "I never even thought coming to Delhi would make everything even more complicated. I thought it will settle my mind and it did at a certain point but look at me now." I said looking at him helplessly. He just kept looking at me.
"It's not possible for me to go back now," I said further shaking my head. "I finished the things for good then why he has to come now?" I said as I held Ved's arms with both of my hands.
"Why now?" I said tightening my grip. Ved let out a sigh.
"Because he loves you." He said shrugging. I looked at him with disbelief.
"What about me?" I asked.
"Zivah, you can't just break everything like that," he said removing my hands and holding them in his, tight, "Relations take time. It's not easy to erase someone from your life just like that. I'm saying because I have been through this shit." He said further looking down at me, "No matter what they do to you... There is still some part of you that waits and hopes."
I looked down at the ground with a frown. I know he's right but I wasn't ready to hear that from someone not from him at least.
"You were angry, hurt, and in pain because of how he behaved with you." He said again. His voice was low and tender, "You ended things and tried to move on. But there was still part of you that was tugged to him." He said, "All this time you thought you have gotten over for good but after seeing that mail everything came back at once."
A tear slide through my eyes as he spoke the truth. I stayed glued to my position unable to utter a word. I felt pathetic at the moment.
"That doesn't make you any worse though." he said further still holding my hands, "It happens."
"Ved..." I said unable to bear another word from him because it was hurting. I didn't want to believe what he was saying even though how real it felt or how true it was.
"Just think carefully... Without being reckless and keeping the anger or ego whatever it is aside." He said.
"I'm sure you will find the way." I sniffed hard hearing him and looked up in those chocolate brown eyes which were trying so hard to convince me but only if he knew how much I love him.
I don't know how easily and early but it is what it is. I don't know if that puts me in a bad light as to how can a girl move from the boy she loved for years. I guess sometimes a month-long relationship can make you feel something that you didn't feel all those years.
For once, I don't care what people think about me because I know how I feel and I'm not ashamed to admit it. My love for him is genuine and real. I feel it in my bones. He is one person who can set my heart on fire. He has all my mind, body, and soul. I felt helpless as I'll never be able to tell him how deeply I feel for him, no matter how much I want to.
"You will know what you actually want," Ved said.
"I can't go back to how it was," I said shaking head and moving to the side, "I just can't..."
Although I feel something for Vihaan, I don't love him. There's a soft spot for him in my heart and he'll always be special no matter what. But my heart belongs to Ved now and it will always be.
"Look, I don't know what relation you both shared and what you both actually thought about each other. That you know better." He said further.
"I can't possibly force you to take one decision. You have to do it on your own." He said standing beside me as he looked back at me.
"All I'm saying is don't do something you'll regret later as it might destroy everyone, not just you." He said. I looked up at him.
"Find with whom your happiness lies. Think about him and all the years you both spent together." Ved said letting out a sigh.
"The past one month won't even matter because what lies ahead of this will be even more beautiful," he said giving me a small smile, "You might look back and laugh how stupid and reckless you were. People sometimes need to get a reality check and this phase happened to be yours and his." He said further and I looked down again.
"Now you both have to decide where you have to go from this point," he said, "If you want to be together or not. Only you can answer this question." He finished and waited for me to say something but I have nothing more to say.
He is right. I need to figure out everything on my own and come out of this mess. I have complicated things on my own. Maybe unintentionally but I can't run away anywhere, anymore.
I turned to look at Ved.
"I will figure out everything eventually. First I need to talk to Vihaan." I said nodding. "Hear him out and let him know what I feel, what have I done," I said letting out a laugh through tears. Ved smiled a little looking down at me.
"We need to figure out a lot of things about us. And see where it all went downhill." I said with a sad smile.
"Just so you know, Ved," I said stopping for a brief moment. Ved gave me a questioning look, "I never intentionally did any of those things. I just followed my heart for the first time. And it took me to you." I said with a smile. Ved smiled back and looked away from me.
"I hope this time it will lead you to your actual destiny." He said in a low voice. I felt my eyes tearing up again.
His words hurt like a blade cutting through my skin. All I wanted was him to show some emotions towards me. I know he loves me, I've felt it in his presence, in his words, in his touch, in his eyes. But he hides it all in such situations behind his logic. He hides it so well that he makes me second guess.
"Let's go." He said turning to leave, "They are waiting for us."
I heard him and opened my mouth to stop him but it was too late as he was already out of the room, leaving me all alone to fight with my own thoughts.
_________________________
✨Authors Note✨
So that was all for now. 🥺🥺
Vihaan is finally back also with a reality check. Much more drama coming.
Let us know what you all think about this in the comments.
VOTE by pressing that ⭐
Zivah will be back with another chapter soon.
Till then, bye.
Loads of love. ❤️