*and this chapter is officially edited for grammatical errors. i hate having to split these chapters in half and i'm sure i'll regret having done so when i come back to edit the split ones lmao. update: yeah i'm regretting it. enjoy.*
It hadn't been long until Rick, Morty and Cas all sat down at some restaurant in the dimension they landed in. Cas sat with her arms crossed, staring out the window as Rick tinkered with his portal gun as Morty watched. It was an awkward tension, as usual, and almost dead silent besides ordering their food. Cas' leg was bouncing up and down slightly and Rick could hear it, forcing himself not to snap at her to stop, the noise and movement of the table driving him insane. Cas' eyes hadn't moved from looking out the window the entire time since she sat down, her mood at an all time low for her. She hated feeling this way towards Rick and hated having to reply back with snide comments but she felt like he backed her into a corner this way and she didn't have a choice.
It didn't matter if she hated it though, at least he hadn't forced to leave yet.
"The Ricks are probably going to spend some time messing with Jerry, they won't be able to help themselves," Rick spoke up which caused Cas to frown at that. She never disliked Jerry, sure he got on her nerves sometimes but she had a decent friendship with him and didn't hate him unlike Rick. "But as soon as they get bored, they'll be on to us."
"Phones a la clams, phonesghetti with no phone balls and a phonesghetti with phone balls," the waiter chair said and Cas tore her eyes from the window. She didn't have an appetite right now, despite the food actually looking pretty good. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, more phone sticks, please." Rick shook the basket of bread sticks that were just shaped like phone's. Cas had nibbled on one earlier to make up for the lack of breakfast but that was it.
"You know, Rick, when I first saw all those Ricks and Mortys, I thought, 'gee, that kind of devalues our bond.'" Morty said, frowning slightly, "But then I realized it just means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines." Morty smiled widely and turned to look at Cas. "Yours and Cas' too!" He added, hoping it would plant something in one of their minds that their argument was pointless.
"Yeah. It's got to be that way. You're a camouflage," Rick shrugged nonchalantly. Morty furrowed his eyebrows, asking what Rick meant. Cas couldn't wait for Morty to be just as pissed off as she was at Rick when he found out, just as she had been. "Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius. The best way to hide from and enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible." Rick explained and pulled a pen out to draw on his napkin while still focusing on his portal gun. "See, w-w-when a Rick i-is with a Morty, the genius waves gets canceled out by the uh... Morty waves." Rick cleared his throat at the last part awkwardly.
"Um... because our personalities are so different?" Morty asked, looking at the drawing Rick made.
"If it was based on personalities, Morty, I wouldn't need you, I'd just need Cas." Rick shrugged before his portal gun began to beep rapidly. "Oh shit, dawg. My portal gun was hacked remotely, Morty, obviously by the real killer to frame me. But I was able to trace the signal. Come on. Let's go." He said and Cas rose an eyebrow.
"Convenient," She commented.
"Do you really think I-I killed myself, Cas?" Rick snapped back and Cas went to glare at him but out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door open. In walked two Ricks and a Morty through the door of the restaurant. Cas could see them talking to the chair by the door but couldn't hear what they were saying. "Uh-oh," Rick said as he stood up. Cas looked out the window once more and smirked at the police car, nudging Morty who then nudged Rick.
Unfortunately, due to the lack of seats in the car, Cas was stuck sitting in between Rick and Morty on the center console. She didn't care about the fact she was on the center console as much as she cared about the fact that she was next to Rick. He drove relatively calmly for someone running from versions of himself and even bothered to stop at an outlet store on some planet to get a change of clothes. He once again had his blue sweater and lab coat back on, Morty had his yellow shirt back on. To disguise other people as themselves, it meant leaving their clothes behind. Cas was the only lucky one that got to hot wire the police car while Rick and Morty worked on the distraction.
"Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty?" Rick smiled. Cas was right earlier as she could practically feel Morty's anger towards Rick. He was rightfully upset with his grandfather and Cas began to understand how Morty felt being stuck in the middle... literally. She made a mental note to apologize to him later for all the painfully awkward tension that he probably felt all the time.
"Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time. You don't have to keep saying it over and over." Morty mumbled.
"Man, this place is way off the grid. This guy does not want to be found," Rick commented.
"Like most criminals," Cas mumbled.
"Well, if he's a Rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide?" Morty asked bitterly and Cas held back the snort that almost escaped her. "I mean, isn't that what Mortys are? Human cloaking devices?" Morty crosses his arms, looking angrily towards his grandfather. Cas turned to Rick, waiting for his response that she assumed would only make the situation worse.
"Morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is." Rick replied, almost proving Cas right before they were all distracted by the sound of people, more specifically Mortys, whining in pain from outside the ship.
"Oh my god!" Cas exclaimed, leaning forwards to see all the Mortys strapped to the building, spikes digging into their sides. Cas always thought of Morty as a younger brother or and at times he reminded her of her younger cousin. She felt oddly protective over him and frequently snapped at Rick for the harsh things he said to Morty, even before everything happened. She felt a pang of anger go through her at the sight.
"Oh my god, Rick! Look! There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building!"
"Not people, Morty. Mortys." Rick corrected as they got closer.
"Why would somebody do this? It's horrible!" Morty exclaimed and Cas couldn't imagine what it felt like to be Morty in that moment. A young kid watching versions of himself be tortured barbarically just to hide someone from other versions of themselves.
"Well, one Mortys enough time hide from the bureaucrats, but you get - you get a whole matrix of Mortys and put them in agonizing pain, that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks, motherfucker." Rick said as he began landing the ship by a small cave entrance. "I fiddled with a concept like this once," He burped out only to receive judgmental looks from the other two in the car. "On paper, geez. On paper. I wouldn't do this. It's barbaric overkill. I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, five Mortys and a jumper cable... Which I also wouldn't do!" Rick added when Cas shoved his shoulder
"You don't care about me at all! Or Cas! We're not different than that jacket you've got on! Y-y-y-y... or your stupid portal gun!" Morty exclaimed as Cas grinned proudly at him. Rick remained with a straight face, annoyed at the two behind him. "I'm just a tool! I'm just an object!"
"Hey, it's you're choice to take it personally, Morty. Now, for the love of god, be quiet. Cas hates me and she's not even making a fuss." Rick snapped.
"I'm not making a fuss because my opinion of you can't get any lower than it already is, Rick." Cas smiled politely but her tone of voice said the exact opposite. Rick sighed annoyedly at that.
"You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! I'm more than a human shield!" Morty exclaimed, causing Rick to turn around with a slightly angry expression on his face.
"Yeah, that's right. You are. You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, because you're as dumb as I am smart, which is why when I say *burp* 'shut up,' it's really good advice." Rick snapped as tears welled up in Morty's eyes. Cas glared at him and went to snap back at him but was stopped by the opening of doors and the clicking sound of some creature exiting the open doors. "Great. Nice work, Morty." Cas did nothing as Rick took the creatures out himself, breathing heavily after he did so.
Hands clapping brought their attention towards a Rick and Morty walking towards them. Instead of a blue sweater, this version of him had a black sweater and a scar on his mouth. The Morty looked relatively the same except for the eye patch on one of his eyes. Cas held her hands up, the green energy coating her hands in defense. "Ooh, look at you, C-137. You- Aren't you a tough costumer?" The Rick taunted, his eyes looking towards Cas for only a moment.
"The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude." Rick commented.
"Not in this dimension, it isn't. In fact, I invented it." The other Rick chuckled and Cas rolled her eyes.
"Well la-di-da." Rick said sarcastically and began to slowly clap. Only for his hands to be slapped by the other Rick as he exclaimed, "Hey that's mine!"
Cas found herself being held by one of the crab like creatures just like Rick as they were walked down the halls. Morty was held by his shirt before being less away by the other Morty after a small squabble with Rick about not wanting to help him. Cas was strapped to a table, as was Rick. She felt the same feeling go over her from earlier with the cuffs and found herself powerless once again. Rick was strapped to the table next to her as she tried to pry her hands free.
"Let me go, you prick." Cas spat, trying to wiggle out of the restraints. The feeling of not being able to just bend the metal off of her was upsetting and the feeling the neutralization gave her was beginning to make her head ache.
"What? So you can just bend the metal around and trap me for hurting your precious Rick?" The Rick taunted and Cas scoffed at that but she didn't even bother arguing against the phrase. Something her own Rick noted that in every other chance, she pushed his buttons or insulted him but when given the chance to state she'd basically leave him for dead, she remained silent. "Ah, isn't it beautiful?" The Evil Rick sighed at the sound of the Mortys in pain.
"Yeah, looks like payday as Neverland Ranch in here. Zing!" Rick joked as the creature next to him made a giggling sound. "That guy got it!"
"Uh, uh, uh, Rick. Quiet. You're missing my symphony," The Rick grinned turning up the sound of the Mortys in pain.
"Hey, I'll take it over Mumford and Sons. Zip!" Rick joked again causing Cas to rolled her eyes, something that the Evil Rick noted. The creature beside Rick made the giggling noise once more, "This guy is on it!" Rick grinned at the fact at least someone was laughing at his poor jokes.
"He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. That's just a random noise he makes every 10 seconds." The Rick said, "You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. I wanted you to find me. We're not so different, you and I." The Rick brought up a hologram of multiple different Rick's, sorting through them as he did so. "See this right here, Rick? I crunched the numbers. I created a spectrum of all the Ricks. I listed them out from most evil to least evil. Here's where I am," He pointed before swiping the screen. "And look it, right here's where you are, Rick. The guy right here? Super weird." He said about the Rick between himself and Rick.
"I get it. So you want me and Cas to team up with you to take down the Council of Ricks? Is that where you're going with this?"
"Please, I think I'm doing pretty good here on my own," The Rick in black bragged. "I'm simply going to download the contents of your brain and then kill you. And maybe keep your Cas around for... fun."
Cas struggled a bit as she could hear Rick complaining loudly as the Rick tried to put something on his head. Cas bit her lip in pain as she tried everything to just get her powers to work but it only made her headache worse. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the grin off of the evil Rick's face. It was only at the sound of her own voice did she stop moving and look up. A few memories of Rick's played including making his ship, a few of Morty and then some miscellaneous ones. But the last few were things Cas had forgotten by now. The memories of Rick watching her laugh as he tried and failed to teach her how to drive, the kiss under the mistletoe on her first Christmas with them, and even a moment of Rick just watching Cas while they were watching TV. She looked over at him and he was already looking back, a few tears welling up in both their eyes. Of course Cas knew she'd be in his memories but it was the look in his eyes that said it all.
"You've lived quite a life, Rick. It's a real shame you won't be around to see it through." The Rick turned around, "You're crying? Over a Morty and a Cas?"
"No, I'm just allergic to dipshits." Rick snapped, turning back to look at the Rick in black. Cas suddenly felt horrible for the last few weeks. She always had a feeling Rick had a bigger motive behind turning her down but seeing his memories and the way he looked at her just now only confirmed what she was thinking. The feeling in the pit of her stomach was heavy with guilt.
"Ugh. Pathetic. I never understood you Rick's who fawned over your Cas as if they're anything special." The Rick looked over at Cas who was seething with anger before he looked back at Rick. "We both know if there's any truth in the world, it's that Ricks don't care about Mortys and they care even less about Cas." The sound of metal scratching against itself as Cas' hands clenched into fists was heard at the same time as the door slamming open, Mortys bursting through it. Cas threw part of the table a towards the Rick but he dodged it only to be attacked by the dozens upon dozens of Mortys.
She was quick to undo her own restraints before she ran over towards Rick, unstrapping him immediately with the help of Morty. "Cassie," He started but Cas shook her head.
"Not here and not now," Cas whispered. She wanted to hear what he had to say but she knew this wasn't the time. There were more pressing matters than a confession of love at the moment. Rick said nothing but glanced at her quickly before turning to press and button on the keyboard, setting the Mortys on the wall free while Cas stood next to Morty. Rick swiped the phone up, dialing what she assumed was either the Smith house or another way to contact the Ricks.
"Hey, what do me and OJ not have in common?" He asked when the Rick on the other side of the phone answered. "I found the real killer, bitch! Get over here!"
Cas, Morty and Rick watched awkwardly as the Mortys basically tore the place apart, being pulled off the evil Rick's body. Cas "W-What... What's gonna happen to all these Mortys?" Morty asked as Cas placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"They'll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games, date girls. Poor little Rickless bastards," The main Rick from earlier said as he appeared through a portal. Cas frowned as she watched a Morty being covered in a blanket and led out of the room.
"Earth Rick C-137, the council apologizes for its false accusation, and in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake," The main Rick began to burp out as Rick, Morty and Cas stood before the Council. One of them held a golden box in his hands and stepped forwards when prompted too, opening the box. "We would like to compensate you with this voucher for a free replacement Morty in the event that your current Morty should-" The Rick began to burp out again and Rick waves his hand for them to stop. Morty angrily looked up at the council member.
"Uh, guys, not a good time." Rick said awkwardly, "Come on, Morty. Let's hit it." Rick said leading Morty out, not before turning to swipe the voucher when Morty couldn't see. Cas rose an eyebrow at him but Rick shrugged and shoved it in the pocket of his lab coat.
"Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? I did a pretty good job back there for a human cloaking device. Saved your ass." Morty smirked cockily and Cas chuckled at that.
"All right, Morty. Don't break an arm jerking yourself off," Rick commented but Cas could see the bit of Rick that was actually fairly proud of Morty.
"I thought you were very brave, Morty," Cas smiled down at Morty, who's face lit up at the praise.
"Man, I can't believe you, Rick. That right there, that w— that was a great opportunity to show a little humanity, you know? To connect with me a little. Cas is proud of me!" Morty pointed out and Rick rolled his eyes, turning to face Morty.
"Hey, Morty, you want connection, go be part of some stupid club like all those dumb Ricks. You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the Rickest Rick there is." Rick replied and began to walk again, "And, you know, it would g- *burp* go without saying that the Rickest Rick would have the Mortyest Morty." Rick said and Cas smiled at that. It was much from Rick but it was something.
"It would go without saying, huh?" Morty asked and Rick agreed. "The Mortyest Morty," Morty whispered happily.
"Does that make me the most Cas of them all as well?" Cas asked, baiting Rick.
"Makes you the biggest pain in my ass," Rick commented but Cas could hear the tone in his voice wasn't rude or insulting. His tone was almost like it used to be, teasing but proud. He kept looking forward and missed the slightly bit of red that reached Cas' cheeks for the first time in what felt like months.
"Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. That goes for both of you," Rick said as they stopped at a wall. "A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. It can be a real bad thing for everybody." Rick pulled his portal gun out and shot a portal at the wall.
"Oh yeah? How's that?" Morty asked.
"Uh, I'll explain when you're older," He said and stopped Morty from entering the portal. "It's not ours. It's Cas'. If she wants or whatever." He shrugged and showed Cas the portal gun, the words 'Gravity Falls' written in red letters where the location of the portal was stated. Cas furrowed her brows at that. "If you want to leave, leave. I won't stop you."
"I'm not going to leave," Cas smiled softly and Rick rose half his brow but shut the portal and opened a new one that was to the Smith household. Morty stepped through, leaving Cas and Rick for a moment.
"What changed?" Rick asked, "N-Not that I care." He added quickly to cover the curious tone in his voice.
"I have a compelling reason not to leave... darlin'." She smirked before stepping through the portal and leaving Rick to chuckle loudly before stepping through after her.