"I hope that the night stays longer," Chaeyoung said while holding Mina's hand on her stomach.
Mina's heart starts to feel heavy again. Tomorrow she will go back to her own real life. The past 2 days have been so eventful for her, but tomorrow she will face another reality, another routine, other unhappy things around her. She doesn't want to feel this aid too much longer, it kills her to think about it, to be able to feel this encouragement.
At this perfect moment, as she wouldn't want to ruin it, but her anxiety goes way deeper.
Chaeyoung's last sentence got her in deep contemplation. Mina was okay upon seeing her the first time again. Really. She was that hurt back then, but all the pain abruptly went away, she's just so happy seeing her again back at the bar. But this goodbye, she isn't used to it. It sounds uncommon to her.
It's funny that a simple sentence could turn her world upside down and make her heart boil in no time. Mina doesn't know why, but she's now anxious and furious toward the woman.
"Why do you want the night to stay longer?" Mina asking out of curiosity
"I don't wanna say goodbye to you"
Mina then shuts her eyes. How can she say that to her?
Chaeyoung never did say goodbye to her.
"You left me, Son Chaeyoung. You never did say goodbye, you just disappear. You left me. Up until now I always wondering why you had to leave like that"
Chaeyoung's heart feels like it was hit by a bullet with her unexpected question. A question that she expected from the moment she saw Mina. A question that she doesn't want to answer. A question that she would not answer cause it's too painful for her as well.
Chaeyoung loses her grips on her stomach a little bit. Her heart pounds a lot.
"Minari............"
"Answer the question, Son Chaeyoung. I never understand I will never understand why you leave me like that. 15 years ago, I was............." Mina turns her body to her.
Mina can't even finish her sentence. They are now separate by distance.
"I thought I could get over it, I mean I was happy seeing you here. Seeing you living your life the way you want now. I am so happy for you. And all the pain you caused me, suddenly went away when I saw you again, I didn't even remember about it. And you, on the other hand, you seem didn't care about it, you acted like everything between us back then was long gone. But one thing for sure, I will never get over the fact that you left me, Son Chaeyoung. You left me back then and it was hard for me to deal with it. It's not fair, And why was that?"
Chaeyoung would like to explain but no words come from her mouth.
Chaeyoung drowns her face down.
Mina is waiting for the answer.
"And even fucking 15 years you can't even give me the explanation, just like the old times" Mina chuckles, tears start run down on her face.
"Mina you wouldn't understand.............."
"Yeah, I wouldn't because you never explain, Son Chaeyoung!"
"I thought I was okay, but I am not. I am still not. The way you just forget about everything when we met again, not even trying to elaborate it, I................" Mina continues.
"I don't want to open that wound again, Minari. I am also............"
Hurt.
Chaeyoung could only say to her own heart.
Mina laughs bitterly.
"I am so dumb, right Chaeyoung-ah? I bet in your heart, you laugh at me. I mean, even when you hurt me that deep, even when you know everything you put me into, I.........I wanted you. I let myself being so cheap in front of you"
"NO! I never think of you like that!" Chaeyoung raises her voice a bit.
"Let's stop this, our path would never cross again in the future, so let's make it easy. I will never forget how you treated me like shit, like garbage, and you left me hanging without a word Son Chaeyoung. And yes I admit that I am trash for wanting your company again. Guess what? Maybe I am just using you, maybe I feel lonely in this big city, my daughter went away and you were there. That's it" Mina stutteringly elaborates her points.
Chaeyoung feels hurt by her words.
"Oh, so you just use me to ease your loneliness then?"
"Yes."
Chaeyoung can't believe her words. Chaeyoung knows that Mina deserves her explanation, after all this time. She deserves that. But it does open up Chaeyoung's wounds as well. In the past years, she tried to heal herself because she never forgot and she never forgives herself. But she's getting better. Mina's words traumatize her.
"You wouldn't understand what I've been through in life, Myoui Mina. You make this all about you"
Mina's jaw dropped and can't believe the words she said.
"Wow, so you make me evil here. You know what Son Chaeyoung. Fuck you. I will always be thankful for the past 2 days. You gave me happiness, you gave me everything I need. But, fuck you"
With those words, Mina stormed off and ran towards the elevator.
Chaeyoung starts to have tears in her eyes. She just can look down. She isn't sure what was happening. One thing she knows now that Mina is still hurt, Mina would never forgive her for what she did years ago. Mina still remembers. It gives Chaeyoung a lot of pain too.
Chaeyoung could only stay there on the top of the building and was lost in her thoughts. She still gathers the pieces on her head. Mina would never understand, she thought. Chaeyoung did her best back then, but Mina would never understand because Chaeyoung would only be the girl who left her without any words.
Mina took a taxi to the hotel, crying heavily. She didn't mean to bring up the issue. Even though she was happy with Chaeyoung, the back of her mind would never forget how Chaeyoung left her back then. No words, no letters, no anything. Mina even visits Chaeyoung's big home and stays there for days just to find out Chaeyoung's whereabouts. But no one gave her the answer. Chaeyoung would never know how she badly crying after she left, how it affect lots of stupid decision making in her life.
Mina didn't want to bring up the issue but she had to, because the past 2 days, Chaeyoung didn't even bother and never even apologized. And when she confronted, Chaeyoung can't explain even until now.
Mina also realized how stupid she is, she was just so happy with her presence. Life has never picked up her side lately and seeing Chaeyoung like the perfect oasis to her. Mina reminded how happy her life was with Chaeyoung in her life back then. The last time she felt so much happiness was with Chaeyoung. But Chaeyoung also brought a big pain in her heart. So much pain.
She regrets her action, she feels stupid to ever wanted Son Chaeyoung in her life. She did well in life. She's content with her daughter, with her activities, with her family but she let herself being stupid again for one Son Chaeyoung.
Mina spent her last night in Seattle just crying. She's crying heavily regretting her decisions, regretting her choice to let Chaeyoung embrace her. She was okay until she's not okay again now.
Tired of crying, her eyes ultimately shutting down.
Mina wakes up with the sound of her alarm. She'll take the afternoon flight, boarding at 2 pm. She wakes up with a sigh. A big sigh. She looks herself in the mirror and the big puffy eyes show up. She washes her face and looks at herself in the mirror again. She can't believe that she's been weeping all night again just because of Son Chaeyoung. Thinking about that again gives her cracks again.
She packs up her belongings to ease her mind. At 11 pm her parents called her to pick her up at the airport. Mina's dad helps her with the belongings and sees her daughter again.
"Oh my daughter, you cried badly because of Sujin, wasn't it?"
Mina nods in his embrace.
Bang Sujin.
Her daughter.
Because of Son Chaeyoung, she even forgets how happy she is to have a daughter like Bang Sujin. She cursed herself once again.
Mina could only nod to him.
They take Mina to the airport, the ride to Sea-Tac is quiet. Mina didn't feel like talking.
They arrive at the airport and once again Mina's parents help her with the luggage.
"You know that I still hate when you deliver me to the gate right?"
Mina's mom and dad nod. Mina hates saying goodbye to both of them ever since a little. It makes it hard to leave the town when she sees her parents deliver her to the departure gate. Mina always wanted her parents to just drop her off at the front terminal door. Mina hates saying goodbye.
A farewell was never easy for me, she once said that to her family.
Mina hugs her parents once again. They will always be her biggest supporter no matter what.
Mina says goodbye and enters the airport gate, she goes to the check-in counter, it's 12.30 pm already, her flights are one and a half hours. She checks in her luggage and walks freely after she drops the big carrier. She's about to walk to the departure gate until a hand reaches her arms, turns her body down to someone else's embrace.
Mina is resistant, ever but the latter locks her tightly in her arms, making her have no choice but to comply.
"I am sorry, I am so sorry, Minari"
Mina starts to shed tears hearing those raspy words from her mouth.
"I can't explain anything yet, but I can only apologize for what I did. I am so sorry that I left you. I know that I can't be forgiven, I know that I brought you pain, I wish I could explain It to you, but I am not ready for that. But I am so sorry, I didn't even forget, I acknowledge your pain Minari, I was just so happy seeing you, I didn't pretend that everything is alright. I was wrong and I am so sorry"
Mina's is gulping her tears down. She always wanted Chaeyoung to say sorry to her at least. For some reason, Mina is relieved that she's now saying sorry even after all of those years.
"I am sorry, Minari" Chaeyoung keeps murmuring the words while crying.
Mina starts to rub Chaeyoung back and calls her down a little bit. She relieves herself from Chaeyoung's embrace. She starts cupping Chaeyoung's cheeks with both hands, she shed her tears and put her hair on the back of her ears. Chaeyoung's eyes are so puffy, just like hers. She must stay up all night and sob.
Mina closes her eyes and kisses her slowly. Other tears run down from both faces. She misses it, she misses her too much, she's so happy the past 2 days. Same with Chaeyoung, after all these years, she misses Mina's lips in hers. In 2 days she feels so much love although she realizes that the good days would come to an end anytime soon but she treasures this moment.
"Goodbye Chaeyoungie"
Without looking back, Mina moves herself to the departure gate, leaving Chaeyoung alone, Mina knows that she needs to leave everything behind her. The past 2 days were amazing, but it's only create another hurtful moment as well. She needs to move on, she needs to get back to her reality that she is someone else's wife, a mother and a teacher. She should put an end to this meaningful rendezvous.
Chaeyoung would always be an affair to remember. That's it.