CHAPTER TWENTY
—dumb fighting
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—JUDITH wanted to punch a wall; wanted to launch her mortal fist into a solid slab of rock just to see what would win out in the end. She wanted to scream so loud and count the seconds before her vocal chords ruptured and her lungs gave out. And she wanted to cry — and Judith Karly Sloane never cried, never. But most of all, she wanted to fling her ax into the nearest bystander and imagine it was Kronos.
But what she wanted most was now impossible.
The group had been racing through the halls with Rachel in the lead, but she was slowing down, growing exhausted. They stopped abruptly in a tunnel of wet white rock, its condensation making the room muggy and humid.
"I can't go any farther," Rachel gasped, hugging her chest.
Judith wanted so bad to yell at her and unleash a scorching wrath that had been building up, but she took one look at Annabeth and stopped. The girl had been crying the entire time they'd been running, silent tears racing down her cheeks and neck. She collapsed and put her head between her knees, her sobs echoing in the empty tunnel. A part of Judith wanted to yell at her to shut up because her mind was on sensory overload, but the words were stuck in her throat, festering in the depths.
Annabeth finally lifted her head, her eyes red from crying. "What ... what was wrong with Luke? What did they do to him?"
Percy gulped before answering. "There was a golden sarcophagus and when I got in there, it was closed. I thought I could maybe — maybe end it all right there, you know? But it was Luke's body, and I just — there was a hole in his chest and Ethan Nakamura had to vow himself to Kronos' allegiance in order to fill it and then Luke — Kronos woke up."
"No," Annabeth said. "That can't be true. He couldn't—"
Judith couldn't take it anymore, something about the way Annabeth was so quick to defend someone that had taken something important to her and was about to take something even more important from her in one swipe — it was enraging. Fists clenched, something in her snapped. "Luke's gone, Annabeth! He has been for a long time so you need to stop trying to defend him all the time!" Everyone was quiet at her outburst. All except Annabeth who stood up, ready to face Judith's fire head-on.
Judith felt tendrils of tempting anger stretch to Annabeth's chest and she didn't hold back.
"No!" Annabeth looked appalled. "You saw when Rachel hit him! That was Luke!"
"So what?! He obviously isn't in control of his own body anymore. We can't keep hitting him with stupid plastic hair bushes in order to talk to Luke! He. Is. Gone!"
The world was spinning around the two and Judith knew her impulse to punch a wall could quickly turn into the urge to punch a blonde Athenian. Her head was filled with a smoke, much like the kind the Greek Fire produced, only blood red. It filled all of her senses and was slowly filtering into Annabeth.
"You just want him to be evil, is that it?" Annabeth yelled. "You just want any excuse to fight someone!"
"I did try to fight him! Guess what, my ax is completely kaput with one swing of his scythe! Why do you keep defending him?" Judith returned, becoming even more enraged at the thought of her beloved ax.
"Whoa, you two," Rachel said. "Knock it off!"
Judith turned on her. "Stay out of it, Dare! You have no idea what we're even talking about!" She spat.
With the daughter of Ares' attention turning away from Annabeth, pulling out her daggers of rage, the blonde collapsed in fatigue on the ground, the fight literally leaving her body. Percy ran over and propped her up as she started breathing heavily. She put her head down and sobbed miserably, anger replaced by anguish. Judith wanted to rip her hair out, but now Rachel was on the opposing end of the anger and was ready to test her.
"I don't, I know I don't! But fighting about it is not helping anything," the redhead yelled right back.
Judith went to scream her head off, but Percy was up from his spot beside Annabeth and his arms encircled the raging girl. Her fury didn't want to die down, not at all, it wanted to thrash against him and push him away. But he was clear headed and knew not to let go of her even as she clawed at him.
"She's right, you need to calm down," Percy said quietly. Of course, he'd agree with Rachel. It wasn't fair. "I'm sorry about your ax, I really am. But we have to stay levelheaded right now, more than ever."
The daughter of Ares resisted against the douse of cold water he tried to stick her in. But as the harsh fire in her veins touched his streams of frigid ocean, steam fogged her senses, covering and seeping into her chest and head.
Judith's breaths were ragged as she let her body settle down in his hold. He slowly unwound his arms, letting her stand on her own. "I'm fine," she spat. But if Percy knew anything, it was that when she said she was fine, she was definitely not. But he couldn't press her.
He kept a hand on her shoulder. "I know. I know you're okay."
"We have to keep moving," Nico said, disturbing the odd tension that had settled. "He'll send monsters after us."
Nobody was in any shape to run, but Nico was right. Rachel helped Annabeth up, consoling her as she quickly cleared her eyes up. They started to straggle back through the Labyrinth again, Annabeth refusing to be next to Judith and Judith refusing to be next to Rachel. The daughter of Ares shuffled along beside Nico, a safe bet for her pounding heart. He just offered a look that expressed his apologies for her own loss.
"Back to New York," Percy said. "Rachel, can you — "
But they all froze. A few feet in front of them, their flashlight beams fixed on a trampled clump of red fabric lying on the ground. It was a Rasta cap: the one Grover always wore. Percy's hands shook as he picked up the cap. It looked like it had been stepped on by a huge muddy boot. The cave floor was mushy and wet from the water dripping off the stalactites. There were large footprints like Tyson's, and smaller ones — goat hooves — leading off to the left.
"We have to follow them," Percy determined. "They went that way. It must have been recently."
"What about Camp Half-Blood?" Nico said. "There's no time."
"We have to find them," Annabeth insisted. "They're our friends." She picked up Grover's smashed cap and forged ahead.
They all followed, bracing themselves for the worst. Judith could only fist the sleeves of her leather jacket, feeling so, so empty handed. The tunnel was treacherous. It sloped at weird angles and was slimy with moisture. Half the time they were slipping and sliding rather than walking.
Finally, they got to the bottom of a slope and found themselves in a large cave with huge stalagmite columns. Through the center of the room ran an underground river, and Tyson was sitting by the banks, cradling Grover in his lap. Grover's eyes were closed. He wasn't moving.
"Tyson!" Percy yelled.
"Percy! Come quick!"
They ran over to him. Judith saw Grover tremble and sighed in relief that he wasn't dead.
"What happened?" Percy asked.
"So many things," Tyson murmured. "Large snake. Large dogs. Men with swords. But then ... we got close to here. Grover was excited. He ran. Then we reached this room, and he fell. Like this."
"Did he say anything?" Percy asked.
"He said, 'We're close.' Then hit his head on rocks."
"Pan," Judith whispered.
Percy nodded to her conclusion and shined his flashlight around the cavern. The rocks glittered. At the far end was the entrance to another cave, flanked by gigantic columns of crystal that looked like diamonds.
"Grover," Percy said. "Wake up."
He stirred with a groan.
Judith took her boot and kicked some of the river water onto his face. It must have been ice cold as he was suddenly at attention. His eyelids fluttered. "Percy? Annabeth? Where ... "
"It's okay," Percy said. "You passed out. The presence was too much for you."
"I — I remember. Pan."
"Yeah," Percy agreed. "Something powerful is just beyond that doorway."
Grover was up in a few seconds, precariously wobbling around, reminding Judith of her own bashed head.
Percy made quick introductions, since Tyson and Grover had never met Rachel. Tyson told Rachel she was pretty, which made Annabeth's nostrils flare like she was going to blow fire. Judith also didn't find it that fun either, but her mood ( surprisingly ) lifted when he called her Judy Moody, something she had come to miss considering Percy had yet to call her it in a while.
"Anyway," Percy said. "Come on, Grover. Lean on me."
Annabeth also helped him up and helped him walk as Rachel and Judith took the lead, staying at least two feet apart. They waded across the underground river. The current was strong and the water went up to their waists.
"I think we're in Carlsbad Caverns," Annabeth said, her teeth chattering. "Maybe an unexplored section."
"How do you know?"
"Carlsbad is in New Mexico," she said. "That would explain last winter." Their last encounter with Pan's presence.
They got out of the water and kept walking, Judith willing herself to dry off faster, but it didn't help. As the crystal pillars loomed larger, they started to feel the power emanating from the next room. It made Judith feel alive.
When the girl stood in the presence of her father, she felt an intense yet uneasy increase in energy. The kind that — when unsupervised — quickly became a hazardous forest fire. He was a gasoline to her fire. But this one, this energy filled her with oxygen. The fuel to sustain herself, but not enough to send her reeling into a frenzy she couldn't control. Judith's previously clenched hands unfurled and she took a deep breath, something she didn't know she needed.
Grover whimpered with excitement. They were stunned with the view in front of them. Rachel muttered, "Oh, wow."
The walls glittered with crystals — red, green, and blue. In the strange light, beautiful plants grew — giant orchids, star-shaped flowers, vines bursting with orange and purple berries that crept among the crystals, wrapping unnaturally around the rocks. The cave floor was covered with green moss and clovers. Overhead, the ceiling was higher than a cathedral, sparkling like a galaxy of stars or a sea of diamonds. In the center of the cave stood a Roman-style bed, gilded wood shaped like a curly U, with velvet cushions. Animals lounged around it — extinct animals. There was a dodo bird, something that looked like a cross between a wolf and a tiger, a huge rodent like the mother of all guinea pigs, and roaming behind the bed, picking berries with its trunk, was a wooly mammoth.
On the bed lay an old satyr. He watched the kids as they approached, his eyes brighter than the blue of the midday sky. His curly hair was white and so was his pointed beard. Even the goat fur on his legs was frosted with gray. His horns were enormous — glossy brown and curved. Around his neck hung a set of reed pipes, not unlike Grover's. Nico, tensing, grabbed Judith's wrist in a tight grip. She looked at him oddly, but didn't question him.
Grover fell to his knees in front of the bed. "Lord Pan!"
The god smiled kindly, but there was sadness in his eyes. "Grover, my dear, brave satyr. I have waited a very long time for you."
"I ... got lost," Grover apologized.
Pan laughed. And it was the kind of laugh that Judith wouldn't tire of hearing, despite her aversion to it at times. The surge of life entered her lungs and made her feel peace within her warring mind and soul.
Still, Pan looked tired. His whole form shimmered as if he were made of Mist. Judith kneeled down in respect along with her friends, feeling it was well deserved.
"You have a humming dodo bird," Percy said stupidly. Judith rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the small smile growing on her face.
The god's eyes twinkled. "Yes, that's Dede. My little actress."
Dede the dodo looked offended. She pecked at Pan's knee and hummed something more aggressive.
"This is the most beautiful place!" Annabeth gushed. "It's better than any building ever designed."
"I am glad you like it, dear," Pan said. "It is one of the last wild places. My realm above is gone, I'm afraid. Only pockets remain. Tiny pieces of life. This one shall stay undisturbed ... for a little longer."
"My lord," Grover said, "please, you must come back with me! The Elders will never believe it! They'll be overjoyed! You can save the wild!"
Pan placed his hand on Grover's head and ruffled his curly hair. "You are so young, Grover. So good and true. I think I chose well." Judith was a good detector of things on the horizon and felt this one brought something less than pleasant.
"Chose?" Grover said. "I — I don't understand."
Pan's image flickered, momentarily turning to smoke. The giant guinea pig scuttled under the bed with a terrified squeal. The wooly mammoth grunted nervously. Dede stuck her head under her wing. Then Pan re-formed.
"I have slept many eons," the god said forlornly. "My dreams have been dark. I wake fitfully, and each time my waking is shorter. Now we are near the end."
"What?" Grover cried. "But no! You're right here!"
"My dear satyr," Pan said. "I tried to tell the world, two thousand years ago. I announced it to Lysas, a satyr very much like you. He lived in Ephesos, and he tried to spread the word."
Judith's specialty; morbid myths. "The sailor passing by the coast of Ephesos and he heard, 'Tell them the great god Pan is dead.' But he didn't believe it."
"Yes." He smiled sadly and looked at Grover. "Your kind never believed it. You sweet, stubborn satyrs refused to accept my passing. And I love you for that, but you only delayed the inevitable. You only prolonged my long, painful passing, my dark twilight sleep. It must end."
"No!" Grover's voice trembled.
"Dear Grover," Pan said. "You must accept the truth. Your companion, Nico, he understands."
Nico nodded slowly and Judith understood why he had grabbed her wrist when they saw Pan. "He's dying. He should have died long ago. This ... this is more like a memory."
"But gods can't die," Grover said.
"They can fade," Pan said, "when everything they stood for is gone. When they cease to have power, and their sacred places disappear. The wild, my dear Grover, is so small now, so shattered, that no god can save it. My realm is gone. That is why I need you to carry a message. You must go back to the council. You must tell the satyrs, and the dryads, and the other spirits of nature, that the great god Pan is dead. Tell them of my passing. Because they must stop waiting for me to save them. I cannot. The only salvation you must make yourself. Each of you must — "
He stopped and frowned at the dodo bird, who had started humming again.
"Dede, what are you doing?" Pan demanded. "Are you singing Kumbaya again?"
Dede looked up innocently and blinked her yellow eyes. Judith was weirded out by the human actions of the bird.
Pan sighed. "Everybody's a cynic. But as I was saying, my dear Grover, each of you must take up my calling."
"But ... no!" Grover whimpered.
"Be strong," Pan said. "You have found me. And now you must release me. You must carry on my spirit. It can no longer be carried by a god. It must be taken up by all of you."
Pan looked straight at Percy first with his clear blue eyes. "Percy Jackson," the god said. "I know what you have seen today. I know your doubts. But I give you this news: when the time comes, you will not be ruled by fear."
He turned to Annabeth. "Daughter of Athena, your time is coming. You will play a great role, though it may not be the role you imagined."
Then he looked at Judith. "Judith Sloane, daughter of Ares. Family can mean many things and I offer you this, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." The girl ran the expression through her mind. It was an old proverb, the original. It had been warped over the years to 'Blood is thicker than water,' but they meant opposite things. She supposed that was what Pan was getting at. He wanted her to remember that the family you choose is stronger than the one you're born to and not the other way around.
He then looked at Tyson. "Master Cyclops, do not despair. Heroes rarely live up to our expectations. But you, Tyson — your name shall live among the Cyclopes for generations. And Miss Rachel Dare ... "
Rachel flinched when he said her name. She backed up like she was guilty of something, but Pan only smiled. He raised his hand in a blessing. "I know you believe you cannot make amends," he said. "But you are just as important as your father."
"I — " Rachel faltered. A tear traced her cheek. Judith was curious and wanted to know what could have her so worked up.
"I know you don't believe this now," Pan said. "But look for opportunities. They will come."
Finally he turned back toward Grover. "My dear satyr," Pan said kindly, "will you carry my message?"
"I — I can't."
"You can," Pan said. "You are the strongest and the bravest. Your heart is true. You have believed in me more than anyone ever has, which is why you must bring the message, and why you must be the first to release me."
"I don't want to."
"I know," the god said. "But my name, Pan ... originally it meant rustic. Did you know that? But over the years it has come to mean all. The spirit of the wild must pass to all of you now. You must tell each one you meet: if you would find Pan, take up Pan's spirit. Remake the wild, a little at a time, each in your own corner of the world. You cannot wait for anyone else, even a god, to do that for you."
Grover wiped his eyes. Then slowly he stood. "I've spent my whole life looking for you. Now ... I release you."
Pan smiled. "Thank you, dear satyr. My final blessing."
He closed his eyes, and the god dissolved. White mist divided into wisps of energy. It filled the room. A curl of smoke went straight into Judith's mouth along with the others. The crystals dimmed. The animals gave the kids a sad look. Dede the dodo sighed. Then they all turned gray and crumbled to dust. The vines withered. And then they were alone in a dark cave, with an empty bed.
Percy switched on his flashlight as Grover took a deep breath.
"Are ... are you okay?" Percy asked him.
He took his cap from Annabeth, brushed off the mud, and stuck it firmly on his curly head. "We should go now," he said, "and tell them. The great god Pan is dead."
NOTES:
AGAIN, PLOT ORIENTED. BUTTTT JUDITH BLEW UP ON HER FRIENDS AND SHE GOT SOME OMINOUS LIFE ADVICE FROM PAN. IT ISN'T TOO HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT MEANS FOR HER IN THE COMING WAR, BUT I FELT SHE NEEDED THIS SORT OF HINT
edited : 09 / 29 / 2020