No One's POV
It was already 2018 and the Girls were all still together but since all of them already has their own things group promotions were getting less and less but nonetheless their bond still strong.
On days when they're free they would go visit each other on the dorms, on their houses, on set or just meet for coffee and catch up. Amidst their busy schedules they would still find time to visit their mushroom every few months or in Taeyeon's case, once every week or every other week. The Girls slowly moved on but they never once forgot their precious mushroom.
Taeyeon had a hard time but slowly she accepted it but her love for Tiffany never faded, a lot of other idols tried to court her both guys and girls alike but Taeyeon politely declined them all, her heart never stopped loving her.
At the dorm:
Taeyeon stretched her body, she had been travelling trying to keep herself busy, she just got back from Europe and she was free for the next three days. She was in her room looking at the ceiling and deep in thought..
Taeyeon's POV
Hmm what am I gonna do for the next three days, I mean I like having a short vacation after a hectic schedule but then again it's kinda boring and I can't go home since Oppa's in the States and Hayeon's busy with training, while Amma and Appa went on a trip so no one's back home... I yawn and decided to go to the kitchen since I'm feeling hungry, as I was heading to the kitchen I see Sunkyo in the lobby watching TV and we both exchange greetings and I get a bowl and cereal and plop down next to her.
"Good to see you back, so how's Europe?" she asks, I just shrug and tell it was okay, "Hmm what can you recommend I do for the next three days? I'm already bored and the day hasn't even started yet." I say to her.
She laughs at me then says "You know you can always go out and hang out? Go to clubs?" I look at her like she's crazy and tell her "You know I don't like clubs, and besides I'm too lazy to go out." She rolls her eyes at me I just stick my tongue out at her "You can go visit her?" she says "I am, actually I'm going to her this afternoon, wanna join me?" I ask her.
"I'd love to but I have a radio guesting later and I'll be home at around 2 or 3 in the morning so.." I nod at her and we continue to watch TV, occasionally annoying each other.
Sunkyo left after lunch since she had schedule so I'm alone in the dorm, I was laying on my bed after a long hot bath and suddenly Sooyoung is calling me, I answered my phone "Taeee!! Are you there in the dorm? Are you busy? Can I ask you a favor?!" I told her to calm down and told her I'm at the dorm and that I'm not busy, "Good! Can you come here at the Breast Cancer Charity Concert with me? Yuri was supposed to be with me but she had a last minute schedule so I have no one and I promised that I'd come with at least one other member?!" I told her I'd love to accompany her, I was on my way when Sooyoung suddenly messaged me that I had to sing something for the cancer patients, I was a little mad at her for not informing me earlier but then there's nothing I could do so I just told her I would.
When I arrived there were a lot of people there and since it was a hospital some memories rushed back to me, but I accepted it so it wasn't as painful. When we bother arrived on stage the fans were all screaming and the host started interviewing us.
I let Soo answer for the most part but the host noticed that I was a little too quiet so he asked me a question that me freeze for a moment, "Ohh you're awfully quiet Taeyeon-sshi, hmm didn't Tiffany had some sort of cancer? are you okay with coming here?" he said, I wanted to kick him for being insensitive but I composed myself and smiled at Soo trying to tell her it was fine, "Yeh s-she did, to be honest I did accept the fact that she's gone but it's still painful, you know? I mean she was a really a dear person to all of us so yes going here did bring back some memories but this sis for a cause so I'm happy to be here to spread awareness about cancer." I told him, the fans cheered for me, Soo squeezed my shoulder.
After the interview the fans asked us to sing something, we were supposed to sing or songs but I thought of something, I told the operator to play Would you still love me by Brian Nhira, "Okay guys so I won't be singing a GG song, instead I wanted to sing a cover of this beautiful and meaningful song, it's about the true meaning of love, what is love? Saying I love you is easy right but do we really know what it means? Okay I hope you guys enjoy this."
The song started playing and since the vocals weren't removed so I had to sing along with the track, the song was really emotional and as I was singing it reminded me of Pany-ah..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XGmC3S9SkM
What if I couldn't speak
What if I couldn't eat
What if I couldn't move
Would you still love me?
..Hmm would you? I for one would..
What if my body ached
And I always made you late
..i always made you late cuz of my annoying side hahah...
What if I couldn't wait
..i was the impatient one between us huh?..
Would you still love me?
Would you love me when it's hard
And our life's fallen apart
If the things that we once knew are long gone
If our blue skies turn to grey
..even if the sky falls down on us I would still love you Pany-ah..
And my memory fades away
Would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
What if I'm complicated
Always leaving you frustrated
...I always do, my jealousy would always make us fight all night,..
..yet you still stand by my side no matter what..
Nothing ever went quite right
Would you still love me?
Wish I could let you know what the future holds
but that's a promise I can't make
..I wished I told you sooner that I love you, we could've been together longer..
(I was starting to feel the tears and I could see some of the fans already crying, I smiled and turned around to wipe some of the tears, and faced the fans again, they cheered louder when they saw me wiping my tears, I was really holding it in, then someone yelled "Tiffany Unnie loves you too Taeyeon Unnie! It's okay to cry!" when I heard that I lost all control, I smiled while kept coming I looked at the ceiling trying to stop the tears.)
through the good and bad happy and sad
love is a risk that we must take
...you're worth the risk, loving you is the best thing that ever happened to me, I wish I could've told you that Pany-ah..
If I could speak again
I'd ask you to remember when
We first met and fell in love
We were so young and dumb
But our love was so strong
Memories of those late nightstand
Are what fuel this fight
(I haven't really heard the entire song so when I was still trying to wipe the tears and looking at the side when I heard this part I froze, I bet this is what Pany-ah would've said if she had the chance)
Would you love me when it's hard
And our life's fallen apart
If the things that we once knew are long gone
If our blue skies turn to grey
And my memory fades away
Would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
Would you still love me?
"Would you still love me?~" I sang as the song came to an end and the crowd went wild, I wiped my tears and bowed to the fans, I hurriedly went backstage and Soo immediately hugged me tight, I hugged her back and cried my eyes out "Shh, it's okay, she loves you so much you know that right? And I bet if she heard that song she'd yell at you and say "I would you pabo!" You know how loud she is." Soo said I had to chuckle to that after a while I calmed down and I asked if I could leave early, Soo said it was okay so I left and went directly to her.
When I arrived at the private cemetery, it was pretty quiet and no one else was there so I'm free to do whatever I want, I picked up the flowers I bought and cleaned her name, "Hey Pany-ah, it's been a while, I miss you. Europe was great by the way but it was a little boring thought without you." I said to her "Hmm I assuming you saw my little breakdown earlier? Hahah it was pretty embarrassing to be honest though, sigh...it's been more than a year already, I'm so pathetic I still can't stop myself from breaking down whenever I talk about you hahah!" I say as tears fall down my cheeks, "I miss you......I really miss you Pany-ah...I tried so hard to move on and accept it, and I have...I accepted the fact that you're not here anymore but it's just too painful...it was all too sudden.." I say as I look at her gravestone as if it'll talk back to me. I laid down next to her and look at the sky.
After a good 30 minutes I feel exhausted and my eyes are probably all red and puffy. It was already getting dark and there were already some stars on the sky, I raise one hand up as if touching the sky,
"I love you...I always will you know even if you annoy the hell out of me, even if you can't cook, even if your sometimes a pig, even if you turn our room pink, even if you make me wear pink, even if your sometimes too stubborn, even if you can't speak anymore.....even if you're lying still on the hospital bed...even if you're not here anymore....i will still love you Pany-ah..."
I say as a few tears roll down my cheeks. I checked my phone and I missed Soo's call 16 times, I was about to call her back when she called again, "Hel-" I got caught off by her yelling "Yah! Kim Taeyeon WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" she yelled through the other line, "Keep it down! I'm here with Pany-ah, don't worry I'll go back to the dorm in a few minutes. By the way I'm sorry about leaving early...I just have to see her." I tell her "It's okay, don't worry about earlier, and don't stay there too long okay? It's getting late Pany-ah wouldn't want you to get a cold. Okay take care bye! And say Hi to Fany for me! Tell her I'll be visiting her tomorrow!" she said before she hung up. "Well Soo said hi and that she'll be here tomorrow, sigh... I guess I better go it's getting late I now you don't want me to get sick" I stand up and dust off my shirt and pants, I say one last 'I love you' to Pany-ah and slowly walk back to my car.