The episodes were all aired the day before Tiffany's death anniversary and everyone was turning in, the girls watched every episode and almost everyone in Korea watched the show and most of them if not all are crying, this just shows how big an impact and how influential she was in the industry, she was an inspiration, and a model to many people. Even other people from all over the world tuned in on the show.
Taeyeon returned to Korea just a few hours prior to taping the finale and it she was currently watching the show in the van, "Tiffany really is deeply loved and missed, not only here in Korea but also in other countries." Manager Unnie said to her, Taeyeon just nodded her head with a sad smile and the manager just gave her a tap on the shoulder.
Taeyeon's POV
Hmmm..so it's already been a year huh Pany-ah?...it's been a long and lonely year without you here by my side....
I snapped back to reality when manager Unnie called me, it seems like we're already here...at the Han River? I was a bit confused as to why we were here, they told me to meet at SM Building for the interview. Then the Producer came to me and told me we'd be taping here and that this was going to be uploaded tonight so editing is limited and not everything can be edited out. I nodded my head and mentally prepared myself for whatever's coming. The camera started rolling and the PD asked me "So Taeyeon-ssi, you are Tiffany's best friend, the closest person to her, could you talk about her, tell us something about her." I thought for a moment and just decided to go with the flow since this is live and this is for Tiffany then I'll just say whatever comes to mind since it all came from my heart and is true. "Hmmm what can I say more about Pany-ah? The other girls already said everything, hmmmm let's see...ah! A few years ago Pany-ah and I were on a stroll and we would often come here, this is where we used to hang out and when we skip practice during our trainee years. We were casually staring at the moon and then she said 'TaeTae do you think we'll last a long time? As SNSD? I mean everyone's busy with individual schedules, we hardly see each other anymore and there are a lot of younger groups emerging. Do you think we still have a chance against them?' I was a bit taken aback by her question but I reassured her and said 'Of course we will! Pabo Pany-ah, why are you over thinking stuff, Sones are loyal and besides we are SNSD, and we promised that we'd last at least 20 years right? So don't worry too much besides you were the one who is usually hyped by new girl groups so we could have motivation to do better so we just have to do our very best and besides even if we don't see each other often our bond together will always be unbreakable, the girls will agree with me on that, so don't worry too much okay?' she was so worried that the fans were tired of waiting for our comeback but then sones always deliver. Hmmm there's also one time where I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw Pany-ah out on the porch looking at the sky, I asked her what she was doing there and she said 'I'm looking at the moon, and somewhere on the other side of the world my family is also looking at the same moon, so at least when I miss them I would just stare at the moon and feel that they're near me since we're under the same moon.' So said 'Ohhh~ so if I miss you I'll just look at the moon and sky? she said 'Sure, but you don't have to do that though, since I'll always be with you Tae hahah! We laughed and teased each other since she's being too cheesy." I said before looking up for a moment, since I could feel the tears, "Hmm if I'm not mistaken you've met each other's parents and family right? And you've always been referred to as a couple, people ship you to very often too, so could tell us about that?" PD-nim asked, I nodded my head asked how'd it go. "Hmm, Pany-ah met my parents first when we were both left in the dorm and all the other girls went home for the holidays, my parents told me to come home and to bring Pany-ah along since they wanted to meet her, they knew about her prior to meeting her for the first time since I tell them about her and she sometimes talks to them when I'm busy. So we went home and Pany-ah was all nervous and I just couldn't stop laughing at her since she's getting all worked up about something really silly, I mean she's talked to them a couple of times. When we arrived at my house I opened the door and when they saw Pany-ah they all came at her, I was a bit jealous since it seemed that they were more excited to see her than their own daughter but then I again I was happy about their reactions toward her, my mom told her to call her mom as well since she's practically part of the family already since she was able to tolerate me over the years, she thanked Pany-ah for always taking care of me and looking out for me. When Oppa met her he as a bit shy around her but warmed up to her, and when Hyoyeon met her she started fangirling like crazy since Pany-ah's her all-time favorite idol, they both clicked right away, after that we would often go to dinner as a family and my mom would ask for her most of the time when I'm on the phone. I met Pany-ah's family a few years later after our debut since our schedules were so busy, so when we had free time Pany-ah told me to pack my bags and that we're going somewhere, she left a note for manager that we were going somewhere for a couple of days. We went to the airport and Pany-ah handled everything, when we landed on the ground she as really excited, I was a bit nervous and I saw Pany-ah's dad waving at us with a huge banner with our names on it. We went to him and he hugged us both, we went around sight-seeing in LA with her dad since her sister hasn't arrived yet till later and her brother's not here so it was only me, her and her dad. Honestly when I first saw her dad I could see the resemblance, although she still looks more like mom, when I first saw her older sister I was shocked, I mean I've seen some of their photos together but seeing in her in person is another thing, she looked like an older Pany-ah, she literally does, they were like twins almost. My brother and I look the same but his facial features are a bit different since he's a guy but Pany-ah and her sister looked almost exactly alike. Her family was nice and we basically went everywhere for 3 days before we needed to head back to Korea. As for the couple part, we've always been very even before debut, we've been roommates for more than a decade and we'd always comfort and support each other during trainee years. Over the years our bond grew stronger and I guess our bond is unique and different form the others, I mean we're all best friends and very close to each other but what Pany-ah and I have is just something only we can understand, she's more than just a best friend to me, she's so much more. " I said while smiling at our old memories together. Before I could add anything else a video played.
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XqmzSUmTj8)
It was a VCR, with pictures of Pany-ah and I, then there was a little girl talking: (Bold- Taeyeon's thoughts)
"What's a soulmate?"
Ohh...what a cute voice..
"It's ah....well it's like a best friend but more"
Ahh..well said, she is my soulmate, right Pany-ah?
"It's the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else."
Hmmm..she does, she knows me more than I know myself most of the time hahah
"It's someone who makes you a better person"
"Actually they don't make you a better person you do that yourself."
...She's the reason I am who I am today, it's all because of her support and love..
"..because they inspire you."
"A soulmate is someone who you can carry with you forever."
....he's right
"It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and.."
"...believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would."
"And no matter what happens you will always love them.."
".....nothing can ever change that."
Yeah...I'll love you forever Pany-ah...
I thought as the video ends, it was a cute and emotional VCR especially because of the music, I felt tears running down my cheeks but for some reason I'm smiling like an idiot, then the Producer asked me, "So Taeyeon-ssi what do you think? Based on that, is Tiffany-ssi your soul mate?" I looked at him and smiled softly "Yeah, she's everything he said and more, she was the very first person who truly believed in me, when I wanted to give up and leave she would always convince me to stay, she believed in me, she was my number one fan, my number one supporter, through the years she never failed to show her support in me, and for the others as well." I stopped when the tears came crashing down. I miss her even more now, sigh...
We've been in the Han River for almost half a day and it was almost lunch time so we went to one of Pany-ah's favorite restaurants and talked about her, how she would always get teased by the other members for always eating. We had a quick lunch since we still have lot to film so during the afternoon we went to the dorm where me, Pany-ah and Sunny share, right now Sunny's doing her individual schedule so the dorm was empty, we went to Pany-ah's room and filmed there. It was pink obviously and there were a lot of pictures, I didn't know we would go here so I didn't have time to put away the picture of us together on her nightstand, the staff saw and asked me about the picture. "Ahh~ this was the very first photo we ever took together, the quality isn't very good though but it's very important to us, Pany-ah always loved taking pictures, she likes to document everything and capture every moment since for her every moment is precious, she would have thousands of photos on her phones and laptop and it's mostly pictures of me since I rarely take pictures, the other members or just random stuff we do every day." then they showed me the same video during our last concert together, when I heard the song I wanted to cry, and when I saw the video I laughed and cried right away. While looking at the video the producer asked how I felt about it, about her. I pulled myself together since I was a mess right now.
"To be completely honest for the past year I've avoided talking about her or looking at videos about her or looking at our old videos together, looking at her pictures were already difficult and her pictures were more than enough for me but seeing this video....a-and seeing her sm-smiling and happy......it hurts yes but h-her smile a-always had a relaxing and r-reassuring effect to me..." I stopped for a while since the tears just kept on coming, "Haha..woahh~...the tears just keep on coming hahah...sigh.." I took a really deep breath and started talking again, "..P-Pany-ah...sh-she uh..she r-really is special...I miss her...sh-she's too young, she s-still had a lot to achieve....she's passionate, d-dedicated and she worked so h-hard to g-get to where s-she is now....a few w-weeks after that c-concert and I felt dead i-inside, wh-when I went to her funeral and I was s-still in a state of shock and denial, after a f-few days e-everything finally sinked in and I l-locked myself and didn't talk t-to anyone for a f-few days, I c-cried and felt depressed. T-The girls all called m-me a million t-times but I-I c-completely shut e-everything out....Honestly I lost a huge part of me when P-Pany-ah left, I was depressed, I remember that time when we shot an episode for Channel Soshi in New York, there was one segment where the Produced asked me what would my life be without her, 'cause coincidentally she was my secret Manito, I didn't even remember about it 'till we were given our mission....e-everything...sigh..everything I said back then is true, we've been together for more than a decade, we both know each other like the back of our hands and.." I stopped for a while 'cause the tears were making it hard to talk and breath...
...remembering her and everything that happened is like someone's ripping my heart out from the second, the first was when I saw her being lowered 6 feet into the ground...The producer noticed that I needed time to pull myself together so he wrapped things up for a while and we went to the last location that I picked. I guess it's only fitting that we visit her today since this is all about her so as much as it pains me, I decided to visit Pany-ah's grave today. When we arrived it was peaceful since it was a private cemetery and only selected people could enter. I sat down near her grave and looked at the picture I left a few months ago. The PD then asked me "So why did you pick this place Taeyeon-ah?" "Well this is about her so I guess it'd be fitting if we visit her, besides it is her anniversary..." I said as I looked down as the tears came, I picked up the photo and said "This is my copy of the photo we saw in Pany-ah's room, I wanted her to have it here with her, and I know she'd agree with me since this is a very special thing for her." I put the picture down and caressed her name, "People...th-they would always say rude c-comments about her especially i-in our earlier years, s-she'd get scolded for not knowing the culture and traditions, but she w-would always smile and not l-let people see h-her venerable side, she hated it...P-People see an idol, a performer, a singer, a model, a girl who achieved her dream, a cheerful girl, an eye-smiling girl, a confident girl...but I see a girl who's always full of troubles, a girl who tries her best for everyone, a girl who hides everything so others won't worry about her, an insecure girl, a selfless girl, a girl who just wants tossing for others...she was more than a best friend, she was like my guardian angel, my light, my star..." I faced Pany-ah's grave "..Pany-ah it's already been a year since you left...I can't say I haven't been crying since I cry myself to sleep every other night knowing you're not at the dorm to greet me when I come home...but I guess I'll get used to it, I'm sorry for always making you worry about me even until now, don't worry too much about me okay? I'll be fine, I just miss you so much that's all...." I faced the camera again and said "..After that concert when we were in the ICU and Pany-ah was covered in a lot of tubes and a dozen machines were attached to her, the doctor said there was a slim chance that she'll wake up anytime soon and that we should prepare for the worst, I broke down and ran out of the room, my feet brought me to a small chapel in the hospital, I don't normally pray but that time I begged God, Buddha or whoever was up and beyond to please save her, she still has a lot to live for, I don't know for how long I stayed there but Sooyoung took me back to the room and I stayed there I never once left Pany-ah's side. I fell a-asleep at s-some point......I-I..I-I had a d-dream, i-in that d-dream I wasn't in t-the hospital I w-was back at t-the dorm and I was i-in my bed...th-then Pany-ah c-came running a-and s-screaming through m-my door..I w-was confused, she c-came up t-to me and a-asked if she c-could sleep w-with me for t-the night, I said yes but I was still dumbfounded, j-jut wh-when I we w-were about to sleep I f-faced h-her and h-hugged her tight after f-finally coming to my senses, I t-told her about d-dream of her in the ICU and dy-dying..just when I thought that was just a horrible d-dream s-she told m-me it wasn't a d-dream.....I felt m-my world f-fall apart...s-she-....s-she told me it wasn't a dream and that us cuddling is the dream, I was c-completely speechless and after that s-she told me to tell t-the others that she loves them, and that she'll miss them, she apologized to me..and a-after that a bright light engulfed everything...I...I-I w-woke up in the ICU...she never woke up..I-I g-guess that w-was her w-way of s-saying goodbye..." the sun was already setting and the PD asked me if I have more to say and that I should wrap things up. I nodded my head and took a deep breath; I stood up and looked at Pany-ah's grave then looked at the sky "Pany-ah! We miss you so much! I hope you're Happy wherever you are now! Watch over us okay?! We'll always remember you and pray for you! I LOVE YOU!" I yelled at the top of my lungs while facing the sky with a smile on my face as tears fall from my eyes. The staff clapped their hands, after that I went inside the van, it was already 5:00 pm and the video has to be up at 9:00 pm so there wasn't much time to edit so we hurried back to SM Building, they told me there was one more thing that I needed to do, I was exhausted, my eyes were all red and puffed from all the crying, when we arrived we went inside a white room and I was curious as to what I was doing here, then all of a sudden the VCR started playing behind me and if I wasn't mistaken it was Pany-ah's voice, I was shocked and quickly faced the other way, and sure enough there was a video playing and I guess it was a prerecorded video.
( "Hello?...Uhhh wait, is this thing on? Uhm....OK! There! So uhmmm..this is very awkward, so~ TaeTae! It-" she was cut off when Taeyeon knocked on the room, "What? Were you calling me Pany-ah?" She asked while going inside the room. "No! Get out! I'm in the middle doing something!" she yelled while pushing Taeyeon back from entering her room, "What are you doing? Are you recording yourself?" she asked then Tiffany relented and let Taeyeon inside her room, "It's for future use I guess, like a time capsule, hmmmm...ah! Join me this is for the future us, what do you want to say to the older you, maybe like after 10 years?" Tiffany said to Taeyeon, "Hmmm, are we still a group by then?"Taeyeon asked "Pabo! Of course we are! And besides even if we weren't we'd most probably be still be together, we promised to by each other's side right Boo?" Tiffany said excitedly. Taeyeon just smiled and looked at the camera "Hmm to my future self goodluck! And don't cause too much trouble to Pany-ah! Behave and don't over think! And to the future Pany-ah please tolerate the future Taeyeon hahah I know she can be a handful at times. Ok Bye! Pany-ah I have to shower I still have schedule so I'll leave this to you" Taeyeon said as she gave the camera to Tiffany, then made her way to her own room but before she left Tiffany yelled "I'll send you out so don't even think about leaving without telling me!" Taeyeon just shouted a 'Yes Ma'am' and Tiffany giggled, then Taeyeon ran back to the room and peeked inside the room, Tiffany asked what she was doing and Tayeon said "I forgot to say something! To the future Taeyeon don't let Pany-ah have any more redbull! It'd bad for her healt!" then Taeyeon hurried out before getting hit by Tiffany's pillow, she cocked her head inside the room again and said "I love you too" to Tiffany before leaving. "Aish that kid!" Tiffany said then she locked her door so she won't be disturbed. "Okay where was I...Ah! TaeTae if you're watching this sorry for the wait, it's your fault! Okay back to business, hmm if you're watching this that means I'm probably gone by then huh? It's okay though I don't have any regrets, the time I've spent with you and the girls were the best times of my left, thank you for that. You're probably crying right now am I right? Hahah Awwee Tae don't cry, you know I hate it when you cry, besides I'll always be right there beside you even if you can't see me, I'll always watch over you and the girls, I'm right there in your hearts right? So don't cry too much okay? I wanted to take this time to say thank you to you, for everything you've done for me, for making me a better person, for staying by my side, for always supporting me and comforting me, for being my no. 1 fan, for being my family, for being my best friend, and thank you for being the Kim Taeyeon that you are today, kind, humble, caring, selfless, I could keep going hahah. Thank you so much Boo. And I also wanted to say I'm sorry for causing you trouble and pain, I'm sorry for not being there for you physically, I'm sorry for making you cry. Sigh." Just when Tiffany was about to say something Taeyeon yelled from outside her door "Pany-ah I'll be going now!" so Tiffany smiled and looked at the camera, "Take care always okay? Look after the girls and tell them I love them all! Stay Strong okay? I Love you TaeTae, so much! Thank you for all the precious memories, I'll treasure them forever." She said then turned the camera off. )
That really hit me hard, I can't remember I cried this hard, I feel so dried out yet the tears keep on coming, I don't even know where they're coming from. Everyone in the room is crying right now even the producer and the entire staff, I mean they've spent a lot of time with Pany-ah when she did her Heart a Tag and Unnies, and knowing her outgoing personality I won't be surprised if she's befriended the entire staff, even the cameramen are getting teary-eyed. Then one of the staff gave me a pink box and said that it's from Pany-ah. After that I immediately went back home and prepared myself since the girls and I decided to watch the Finale together later. The girls all had their own schedules but they visit her every once or twice a week, they visited her today at different times so that it won't attract much attention and since their schedules vary. When I got home Sunkyu, Soo, Yul and Maknae were already there, unfortunately Yoong and Hyo couldn't come since Yoong's busy with her new movie and Hyo's busy with her comeback and promotions. I took a quick shower and left the box in my room at the moment since the show will start any minute now.
The show started with the same old intro then a video with our ITNW ballad version playing in the background, "Aigoo~ It's just the beginning but I can already feel the tears coming" Seo said as she kept her tears from falling, Soo comforted her but I can see in her eyes that she's also ready to cry any moment now, "Aish!" Yul exclaimed as tears started falling from her eyes,"Yah! Kwon Yuri! It hasn't even started yet!" Sunkyo yelled. We all laughed at her and continued watching the video. The video showed pictures of us, during our concerts and performances, of when Jessica left, a compilation of pictures of us crying, our saddest moments in short, there were also picture of Sones and the Pink Ocean as well as Sones from all over the world. A lot of them were mainly pictures of us as a group....when we saw Pany-ah in the group pictures we all instantly cried, especially during the bridge of the song. We were all a crying mess and at the end they showed a picture of Pany-ah and her 1 year death anniversary. After that instrumental of "Complete" played, there was no narration only words, music and pictures, it started with a short video about Pany-ah, and captions like 'Brighter than gems...indeed she is', "A girl who left everything behind to achieve her dream.', 'You left us with a lot of great memories..', 'You gave us strength.', 'Your smile has always given us strength.' 'You will always be remembered and loved.', 'An angel on earth..'.
No One's POV
Then the show started filming the SM Building where a lot of people where crying and praying for Pany-ah. Then it slowly changed to the sceneries in the Han River and the song gradually changed to U R instrumental, and slowly Taeyeon came into view and the caption was 'Today, we'll have a very special person..' 'Tiffany's best friend Taeyeon..'.
The girls were recovering from their crying during the intro, and when they heard the piano and saw Taeyeon they began tuning in the TV "Why are these instrumentals so sad!" Yuri exclaimed everyone just laughed while wiping their tears. As they watched the episode they teased Taeyeon for being too cheesy and for blabbering on about Pany-ah, when Taeyeon would cry they would also cry. They would complain about the background songs being too sad and emotional and by the time the show comes to an end their eyes are all puffed up and red from all the crying and they've gone through almost 6 tissue boxes. When Taeyeon went to the cemetery to visit Pany-ah, they all broke down and cried especially when Taeyeon made her speech. Just when they thought the worst was over the staff included the footage of when Taeyeon saw Pany-ah's recorded video message which shocked all of them. When they saw Pany-ah's smile they all cried again and to them it felt like they were talking to Pany-ah, and that was probably her way of saying her message to them and her way of saying goodbye to them. At the very end of the episode there was a video compilation of Tiffany and the girl during their behind the scenes moments and some moments captured in their dorm, and at the end is a caption saying "Tiffany Hwang you will always be remembered. We Love You."
Everyone who watched that show is probably crying or at the very least is teary-eyed, the girls were all completely exhausted, then Taeyeon remembered the box the staff gave her, she took it from her room and showed it to the girls. It was a moderately sized box, and of course it was pink, when Taeyeon the box she saw a bunch of pictures, a notebook, a pink hard drive, and a small blue box. The girls were about to stand up and give some privacy to Taeyeon but she insisted they stay since she doesn't want to be alone 'cause she's afraid she can't handle it.
Taeyeon's POV
I asked to stay with me when I open the box that Pany-ah gave me, i first decided to look at the hard drive, I connected to our TV and there was surprised to see only 4 folders, they were titled 'SNSD','TTS','TaeTae' and 'Boo' the first three were all pictures, the hard drive is 128 GB, I'm guessing there's at least half a million photos in those folders and then when I opened the 'Boo' folder it had a password, I was a bit confused and so was the other girls. "Unnie do you know the password?" maknae asked me, I just shook my head, I tried her birthday, her mom's birthday, her mom's death anniversary, the day our first concert, debut, win, etc...but none of them worked, I tried my own birthday as well but nope, then I remembered something, I quickly stood up and went to Pany-ah's room and came out holding a picture frame, the other girls looked at me as if I've grown another head, "Look! Behind the photo! There's numbers!" I said to them, and they quickly opened the photo, then Seo typed in the numbers, and it worked. "What's that number supposed to mean huh Taengoo?" Sunkyu asked, I looked closely at the numbers again and I found out that it was indeed something special. "It's the first day we became roommates." I said and the other girls looked a bit sorry for me, but somehow they all had a sad smile, "Hmmm, that girl, she really is a romantic." Soo said, we all just agreed. When inside that file there was 2 videos one was untitled and the other one was titled 'For your eyes ONLY' so naturally we opened the other file that was unnamed. We were all waiting anxiously as to what this video could be, then slowly Pany-ah's face came into view, 'sigh, still beautiful as ever Pany-ah' I thought to myself as I watch the video.
"Hey guys! I guess it has finally come to this huh? I hope you all watched my videos for you, this one is for me to say some of the things I didn't get to say on the other videos. Okay, so I'm sorry if I'm whispering, you're all currently sleeping now since we just got back from rehearsals an hour ago and it's now 4:15 am in the morning, I don't wanna wake any of you up since you're all tired and I have no choice but do this now since I don't have time in the morning so yeah. So, you might have heard some of the things I wanted to say to you in my other video, I'm sorry if I repeat some of the things I'll say, I don't really remember what I said in the other videos so sorry ^^v hahaha...I just wanna say that I really love you guys okay? wait let me just get in a more comfortable position so it won't seem too awkward, I'll pretend that I'm talking to all of you ^^...Hmmm when I came to Korea when I was 13, I admit that time I admit I was a really naïve little girl back then hehe...hmmm I still vaguely remember how I met all of you, aside from Taetae, Sunkyo, Jessi, and Hyo I was prett much afraid of the rest of you, I mean you all looked you were about to eat me alive especially to someone who doesn't understand a word of what you're saying, even Maknae looked pretty intimidating back then.....sigh. It feels like it was just yesterday that we all started this dream of ours and although we faced a lot of challenges throughout the years I'm still thankful 'cause those challenges were what made us who we are today. I guess if I could go back in time and given a chance to change anything I'd obviously change the fact that I'll be gone but other than that I wouldn't change a thing ^^.. you guy are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You helped me achieve my dream, you supported me, comforted me, loved me, made me cry a lot haha, and me laugh a whole lot more too ^^, you gave me a lot of precious memories that I'll treasure forever, and you gave me a family ^^ being all alone here in Korea was really a huge challenge for me and during those first few years were depressing but you guys did everything to help me and comfort me here, you became my second family here and I'm really thankful for all of you ^^. I hope you won't take me leaving too hard :'( I'm really for putting you all through this situation, especially to you Tae, I'm sorry...okay! Enough of the gloomy part! It's already pretty sad as it is so I'll try not to add more sadness here....Okay! so as you might have seen I wrote you guys letters and I'll let you read them on your own ^^..sigh....I'm imagining it and I already miss you guys! ..aish! I hoped I wouldn't cry when I film this since I didn't want to make you guys even gloomier but I guess it's inevitable,....it's been a while since I cried like this to be honest, you guys know I hate it when I cry....(Tiffany lowered her head for a few minutes to regain her composure, then she lifted her head while smiling and her eyes forming like crescents while tears were still falling) Thank you so much for everything girls :') I love you so much... everything's gonna be alright okay? I'll always be right here in your hearts :') I really really love you guys okay? Never forget that, I'll watch over you guys and think of me as your ne guardian angel ^^ so that in a way you can still feel my presence. SNSD Now, Always and Forever..
No One's POV
After watching Tiffany's video the girls each went to their own rooms or to a corner where they can be alone to read Tiffany's message for them. Each of them need some time to be alone right now especially Taeyeon, she went inside Pany-ah's room and she opened the file that was only for her to see, it was another VCR, she prepared herself for yet another emotional rollercoaster.
The Video:
"Hmmm, wait hold on Tae I'll just adjust the cam, I probably won't be able to edit anything out so HI Boo! ^^...Hmm it's been a few weeks huh ^^ I kinda regret that I didn't tell you my feelings sooner but enough of that! I'm still really grateful for the time that we had ^^...Hmm I'll tell you when and how I started falling for my best friend ^^... so you better get cozy and prepare yourself since this is gonna be long, or atleast I'll make it long since I have the entire day off, and so that you just watch this over and over again when you feel blue or in a foul mood okay Boo? ^^..Okay so where to start? Hmm...When I came here to Korea 10 something years ago without having any plans whatsoever and without knowing anybody here, the language, and culture the lifestyle...in short I was like a lost naïve little puppy in the big city. All I know was I came here to fulfill my dream of becoming an artist under the company but I had no idea how things worked so when I transferred to the dorms and we became roommates I was pretty nervous. When I first met you, to be honest I thought you were so fragile, shy and timid, and with the language barrier I highly doubted that we'd get along let alone talk to each other. But being the naïve and cheerful little ol' me, I still kept bugging you and talking to you, and I guess it worked since after a few months we became really close! ^^ you helped me with my Korean, we'd sneak out to go to convenient stores and just take a walk. The first few years we really developed our strong bond and as the years went by I kinds started falling for you, you dork! ^^ hahaha...When the company released the statement that Nick and I were dating I was a bit worried of what people would say, I mean he's a nice guy and a good friend of mine but he's just not my type, I've never once been attracted to him in a romantic way, I just like him as a friend. I never told any of you about the company's plan to set us up to divert the media's attention and I get that you were all mad but what I didn't expect was that you were sulking so much and would get all moody or angry when he's around. When people would start shipping us and make up stories about us on SNS you would find a way to cleverly counter it like when people assume that we're together on a date you'd post a picture on SNS of us and when he's around you would stay close to me and things would get awkward. The company didn't allow me to give a statement about our relationship because I was never okay with it so they left everything to Nick...to be honest if I was listening to any of his interviews about our relationship I would never believe him, he exaggerates and just blurts out stupid nonsense...oaky so when that slowly died down and when you and Baekhyun started going out to be honest I was feeling something whenever you two are together like a punch to the stomach and when that God forsaken picture of you two supposedly kissing which I know isn't true ofcourse, came out I was furious I felt like I wanted to rip him to pieces, I hated the company for setting you two up, I hated him for being so close to especially since he always had a huge crush on you, and I hated you for a while for being so close to him. I know it wasn't your fault but still...that's when I realized that I was jealous, but why? You're my best friend, but when I see you two together my blood boils , so I asked myself one night 'Do I have feelings for Tae?' and after some time I realized that I do have feelings for you...I mean you were always there for me through thick and thin, during bad times and good times, we've been together for more than a decade and you always treat me differently, I was so confused if you have feelings for me too or are you just being a good best friend...Seriously you're so misleading sometimes Tae -_-....I mean you only allow me to call you TaeTae, you always give in to me when I tell you to do stuff, you give me food, you pay for everything when we go out, you take care of me, and you always reciprocate my advances....In the end I just had to confess these feelings that I kept bottled up for years, if you reject me atleast I tried right? Overall the moments we shared these last few weeks are by far the best ^^ my only possible regret is leaving you after finally being able to love you freely..and for that I'm really sorry Boo ....before I end this video, I have to film you first ^^ hahaha..(Tiffany ran from her room holding the camera while still recording and barged in Taeyeon's room, Taeyeon was sleeping when Tiffany entered and she quietly woke her girlfriend up) Taeeee~ ..come on get up it's already 3 in the afternoon, you won't be able to sleep properly tonight~ (Taeyeon squirmed under the covers but woke up nonetheless) 'Okay~ I'm uppp..' (Tiffany filmed Taeyeon who covered herself) Ehh? Come on show yourself! 'No! I look horrible!' oh please you always look pretty ^^...(Tae slowly lowered the covers and looked at Tiffany with a smile, she motioned for a kiss which Tiffany gave her) ..'Hmmm nothing like a goodafternoon kiss from the most beautiful girlfriend in the world' (They both got up and said Hi to the camera) 'What's with the camera Pany-ah?' Nothing much just wanted to film since I was bored of doing nothing, 'Wanna eat out?' Now? 'Yes? Let's go on a date ^^' But change your clothes first and wash your face Tae, I'll wait for you here. 'Okay! I'll be quick.' (Taeyeon got up from the bed and hugged Tiffany while giving her kisses and walked inside the bathroom.) You're such a cutie you know ^^ that's why I can't stop loving you more and more everyday ^^...(After a few minutes Taeyeon came out and they prepared to go out) I have to leave the camera so before we end say bye to the camera Boo 'Byeee~ we'll be heading out now~' hahah so cute! I love you ^^ 'I love you too Pany-ah~ now let's go on a date!'. (And with that the video ended)
Taeyeon cried like a baby after watching the video, she looked some of the pictures of their moments together and her tears just kept on coming. After a while Taeyeon opened one of the 2 small boxes and it was the lock necklace they both used to wear during their earlier years, and there was not inside along with it "Still remember this? ^^ Keep it safe for me okay Boo ^^ This was one of the first matching items we had ^^." Taeyeon smiled while looking at the necklace while reminiscing old memories that came with it. Then she opened the other box, this one was a fused lock and key necklace and the note said "I don't know if you'll use it but I saw this sometime ago and it reminded me our old lock and key necklaces, but this one's fused so it kinda represented us for me ^^ hehehe..if you don't want it its okay ^^ I love you Tae~' ....Taeyeon immediately wore the necklace and laid on her bed while remembering Pany-ah's words.
The girls cried themselves to sleep that night, remembering their beloved Brighter than Gems Mushroom...
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.........few years later............https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1MUP3hFeDE (listen to this while reading this part)
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...............the girls carried on with their lives never forgetting about their Mushroom, Sooyoung, Yoona and Yuri had a lot of projects, Sunny's Radio station had received numerous awards, Hyoyeon is busy with her promotions as well as Seohyun, Jessica got married wearing the dress Tiffany gave her and as for Taeyeon she still continues to visit Tiffany, they all do but Taeyeon visits her the most and would talk to her like usual, she wore the lock and key necklace Tiffany gave her and never took it off.....
During the end of one of their Concerts...
.."Thank You everyone! I hope you all enjoyed tonight! Although we don't want to say goodbye yet I'm afraid it's time to go!"
"Jigeumeun So Nyuh Shi Dae!
Appurodo So Nyuh Shi Dae!
yongwoni So Nyuh Shi Dae!
So Nyuh Shi Dae saranghae!"
They cheered and Tiffany's voice saying the last line, they all cheered louder and bowed. For every concert they made it a tradition to let Tiffany say the last line and during award speeches they never forgot to mention her name...and during the end of every concert they made a deal to always visit Tiffany together.
...After the Concert...(They all went to Tiffany's grave)
"Pany-ah! Another concert finished!^^" Taeyeon yelled and the other girls just smiled and laughed at my dorky antics. "Yah! Taeng! Be quiet it's late! You know how Tiffany doesn't like it when you disturb her hahah!" Sunkyu said. They stayed there for a while just talking and letting their 'Manager Hwang' know what's been happening...
...After about 2 hours of spending time and talking to Tiffany they decided it's getting really late and they know Tiffany wouldn't want them to neglect their rest so they all prepared to leave but not without saying goodbye and goodnight to Tiffany....
...Pany-ah we've come a long way, amidst all the struggles you were always with us even after you've gone...continue to look after us okay?..You will always be remembered..I miss you lots Boo...I Love you my Pany-ah, Now, Always and Forever...-Taeyeon..
A little tribute to Taeny...
https://youtu.be/XCrTOf8zDKM