Thye's
"Why the fuck do you keep on looking around the house, Ai'Thye? You're creeping me out!" Thoss said while we're having our breakfast. It's been 5 days since the class started. And I haven't seen Tharn since then. It's Saturday and we have no classes so I woke up early to cook breakfast for me and Thoss and also to look for Tharn. "Ai'Mung!" Thoss called me so I looked at him.
"N-nothing. I-i'm just looking for something that I lost." I reasoned out before focusing on my plate but I don't have any appetite.
"Aow, what is it that you lost? Since when did you lost it?" Thoss asked me and I looked at him and he seemed puzzled because of my look. Maybe I look miserable.
"I lost something... something important. I haven't seen it since our first day in the university. I'm scared that I might not be able to see it again." I said before heaving a sigh.
"Aow, I don't even understand what you mean." He mumbled so I glared at him and he puckered before showing me a peace sign. "D-do you want me to help you?" He asked and I sighed again before I shook my head.
"No, thanks. After all, I'm sure, you won't be able to find it." I said before standing up. "I'll just go to my room." I said before leaving without giving him any chance to say something. "Where are you, Ai'Tharn? You're making me worried." I mumbled under my breath before climbing the stairs. Not missing any corner to check if Tharn's there but no. There's no sign of the half-farang spirit. I'm feeling a bit pissed. I don't know but I feel so upset for not seeing Tharn for almost a week already. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, when in fact, all I did was to think of him, and look for him for the whole week!
'Enough of the games, Ai'Tharn. Please, show yourself.'
Instead of going straight to my room, I stopped in front of the master's bedroom and just stared at the door for I don't know how long.
"Ai'Tharn? Are you here? Why aren't you showing yourself to me? Did I do something wrong? Did I pissed you off? Please, tell me. I... I can't stay like this. It's driving me crazy. I've been looking for you for the whole week. I don't understand what's going on." I said, probably talking to the door because he hasn't shown himself yet. I sighed heavily while looking at the closed door. "Please let me know that you're still here. I know that it's hard to believe but I'm worried about you. But the main reason is..." I cleared my throat and wiped the tears that is about to flow from my eyes. "I kept on looking for you because I miss you. I miss you, Ai'Tharn. Please, show yourself na."
Tharn's
"I kept on looking for you because I miss you. I miss you, Ai'Tharn. Please, show yourself na."
The moment I heard Thye said those words, I frozed. I was looking at my husband's picture while listening to him outside our room. And I know that it's quite insane but I feel like I'm actually hearing it from Type. His apologetic voice that made my knees buckled. It's familiar. And I don't understand why. Even this freaking behavior of mine. I'm behaving like a jealous boyfriend when in fact, there's nothing going on between us! To hell with this sulking!
'Aaaargh! Why do you have to make me feel like this, Ai'Thye? How can you bring the same effect as Type towards me?'
I don't even understand where this jealousy is coming from. But it's eating me up inside that I dared not to show myself to Thye cause he will see how miserable I am after knowing that he had gone on a date at their first day of school!
'I'm sorry, Ai'Thye. I just can't show myself to you as of this moment. I'm scared to show you how I feel. I can't let you see this state of mine.'
I sighed before looking around. Tomorrow is Sunday, probably the keeper would come over to clean the whole house especially our room.
"Ai'Type. Can you please show me what to do? I'm going crazy for thinking that he's probably you." I muttered before looking at his pictures. Somehow, I managed to smile after remembering how bright his smile was every time he looks at me. How lucky I am to have him beside me before sleeping and after waking up. To be his last good nights and first good mornings. And even though I was his last 'I love you', I can't help but to feel sad because that's the last time I heard him say that. Type is a closemouthed person. He's not into voicing out his feelings towards me because he thinks that it will lose its meaning if he say it so often.
"I'm scared of telling you everyday how much I love you. I'm scared that I might get used to it and make it as my routine until it has finally lost its meaning for me. I'd rather show my love for you than utter sweet words everyday. After all, no words can express how I feel towards you. So let's just stay this way. We still have forever to be together, Ai'Shiya Tharn."
It was then I realized that I'm crying all over again with this mixed emotions that I'm feeling.
"I just miss you, Ai'Type. I miss you so much that it hurts. And now, Ai'Thye came and it feels like having you around again. But I'm not even sure if he's really you. Or it's just happening all over again when you tries dating Puifai and came to me afterwards to tell me how you feel? This whole thing keeps messing with my head and I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be with you, Ai'Type. Is that too much to ask?" I uttered while letting my tears fall down my cheeks.
"Funny how I wanted to answer your rants with the words, I'm here." I frozed before looking at the door. It's closed. But I'm dead sure that Thye is the one who said that. I thought that he already left but obviously, I'm wrong. He's outside this room. And he's waiting for me. "Now that I know, where you are. Can you please show your self to me na?" In my thoughts, I totally want to kill myself for being stupid but I realized that I'm actually dead and if I try kill myself, I will be called double dead.
'Pfft. Enough, Ai'Tharn. Thye is outside the freaking door yet you still managed to blurt out a lame joke.'
"Ai'Tharn. Please. I've been looking for you for the whole week!" Thye said and I have no choice. I slowly walked towards the door, though I'm still hesitant, the urge to show myself to Thye had already won. I made my way out and stood behind him. He's actually leaning his forehead at the door and he looked a bit stiff already.
'How long has he been standing there?'
It was then he felt my presence and slowly turn around to see me. I don't know if I'm seeing this right, but his gloomy face automatically brighten up when he caught a glimpse of me. I smiled wryly but was shocked when he grabbed me for a tight hug. I totally frozed at his embrace. The size of my eyes doubled when he rested his head at the crook of my neck. I don't know if I'm still supposed to feel this but I can totally feel his warm breath hitting my neck. The friction that our body contact has made is unbearable that I can feel my spirit heart race and what the hell is this? Why do I have this feeling that all my frustrations has faded away and that I'm not upset anymore.
'What the fuck?'
"I thought I already lost you." He muttered under his breath. I tried looking at him but I can't see his face because he remained resting his face towards me.
"A-ai'Thye. I'm here na." I'm trying to chase the smile that is about form my lips. I tried pushing him away softly but he groaned so I shut my eyes closed to stop myself doing something that I might regret.
"I've missed you for 5 days. You can't expect me to let you go that easily. I've been through days of agony." He grunts at me before grabbing me for a tighter hug. And again, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I just stood there. With him. Enveloped in his warm and tight embrace. "You made me so damn worried, Ai'Tharn. Where have you been?" He then looked up at me without breaking our hug. I then avoided his gaze but he moaned so I closed my eyes again. As if that could stop me from being a sinful spirit. I can't breathe, well if that's possible.
"U-uh, could you please let me go first before I answer your question?" I asked him, feeling nervous and anxious at the same time because of this growing desire. I looked at him when he didn't answer. I gasped for air when I saw him pouting and it seems to be sulking right now.
'Great. I should be the one sulking but this boy had clearly turned the table at his favor.'
"Ai'Thye. I can't talk to you like this." I said, trying to ignore his overloading cuteness. But he shook his head before leaning towards my face. Good thing, I'm quick enough to move my head before we could even touch each other.
"I'm not letting you go unless you tell me the reason." He said before pulling me tighter and I sighed. I'm freaking out! "Tell me na. I've miss you. Don't you know that--"
"Cut it off, Ai'Thye. You can't miss me. You have someone else." I cut him off and he looks shocked. I felt his grip loose little by little. Looking at him right now, he's completely clueless towards me giving him my cold shoulder.
"What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?" He asked me again, looking frustrated and I looked at him straight in the eyes. He then let go of me and held my hands. "Tell me. We can't be like this. I want to know what did I do wrong?"
"You didn't do something wrong, Ai'Thye." I said before avoiding his gaze again but he held my hands tightly urging me to look at him again, and how crazy I am to obliged.
"You can't be upset towards nothing, Ai'Tharn. You didn't showed up to me for almost one week. You made me worried, thinking that you had gone without even telling me then I found out that you're just hiding inside your room! I need to know the reason why you're sulking and giving me the cold shoulder! Stop making me feel frustrated!" He blurted out, not giving a damn that Thoss might hear him.
"You want to know the reason?" I asked before smiling bitterly. "I'm being like this because I don't know what to feel anymore! I heard Thoss talking to your through the phone last Monday and I heard that you actually have a date! And for the record, it's the first day of school and you managed to get yourself a freaking date! But you know what? That's not the only thing that pissed me off! I am acting like this because I know for a fact that I don't have any right to feel jealous but here I am, acting like you're my freaking husband and feeling possessive towards you and it's driving me mad! I tried to hide from you cause I don't want this kind of feeling." I said before looking away at him. We both fell in dead silence. But then, I heard him chuckling so I looked at him with disbelief.
'What the fuck is funny?'
"Have I ever told you that you're quite cute when you're mad?" He said while laughing and I frowned at him. "You're jealous about nothing, Ai'Tharn. That date you were talking about is not actually a date! I brought some papers to one of my acquaintance but I can tell you, there's nothing going on between us. Well, err, except for the fact that she tried hitting on me but I already made it clear that I'm not interested in her." He said, still laughing at me but I couldn't care less. The fact that he didn't actually go on a date and that I'm being jealous for nothing is enough for me to make me feel so ashamed.
'Damn, I'm actually sulking for no reason.'
I looked away from him to save face but he held my cheeks and made me face him. He's still smiling mischievously.
"But you know what made me laugh? It's the fact that you're actually jealous of me. Do you know how happy I felt when I heard you say that? The agony that I felt for almost 5 days, has faded away because of the fact that you're actually jealous." He said while chuckling. I sighed but didn't had the chance to look away because he's still holding my face. "And may I ask you one question?" He asked so I looked at him again and his staring at me intently.
"What is it?" He smiled at me again, but this time, it's sweet. And actually warm.
"Can you please admit to me now that you like me?"