Kay just sat there as Halden's nails left small white marks up his arm – scratches in the shape of Halden's name. He didn't even need to look to know that was what Halden was doing. It made him feel sick to just sit there, but he would much rather have this than be branded again.
Halden had already expressed his disinterest in that, and those words were the only thing which were making Kay feel even remotely safe right now.
"Sit still," Halden instructed, picking up the penknife again and opening it. "I don't need to ask you twice, do I?"
Kay shook his head. He didn't need to be told twice. He didn't need Halden to threaten London again.
"Good," Halden responded, disappearing through the hallway and into the bathroom, where it sounded like London was just coming to.
Kay could hear vague questions and protests as footsteps approached, with London's continued arguments.
"You'll regret doing this, I swear –" London threatened and Kay heard the sharp sound of skin on skin, directly followed by a hiss of pain from London. It wasn't enough to make Kay turn around, though. It seemed like the single slap had been enough to quieten London.
"Wash your hands and grab a towel for me," Halden instructed London. Kay heard London turn on the tap as Halden seemed to be messing around with a set of knives from the block. Kay glanced over to London, briefly catching his eye before London's attention snapped to Halden with the knife. He dropped the towel on the counter and Kay knew that he was going to try pushing his luck.
"No –" Kay protested, catching London's attention. Halden's, too. "Uh – he meant a clean towel, that's all," he tacked it onto the end. Halden couldn't know what it looked like London was about to do.
"Yeah, don't be a fucking idiot, get a clean towel from the drawer," Halden snapped, turning around to look at Kay again. He twisted the knife he'd selected in his hand, taking great care to show Kay the blade – serrated for the first few inches with a wooden handle. Kay couldn't continue to look at him, averting his gaze to where London had found a clean towel.
"What's the point of this?" London asked, "Because you're not going to get away with it."
"London –" Kay interrupted.
"Both of you be quiet," Halden snapped, and Kay apologised. "If London does anything to get in my way, I'll kill both of you. Got it?"
Both of them nodded. It was a relief to see London nod. This kind of experience was new to him, but at least he understood that he had no chance if he decided to argue.
Kay was quiet as Halden pulled a chair closer to him, looking up and past his ex-fiancé to London. He mouthed an 'I'm okay' to him, and an 'it's fine' before he closed his mouth. Sure, he was being quiet, but Halden would still get unfairly upset. Well, probably.
Kay hardly knew Halden now.
Kay wasn't paying enough attention when his wrist was held down and Halden made the first cut. He flinched away, cursing loudly as the serrated blade tore at his skin.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" London asked, panic raising into his tone.
"Be quiet," was Halden's flat response. "Get over here. It would be inconvenient if you let him bleed out, wouldn't it?"
London looked horrified, but did as he was told, already using the towel to put pressure on Kay's broken skin. He couldn't just let this happen – there had to be something he could do to help. He glanced over his shoulder at the knife block, which was missing only one knife. He could –
"London, I'm fine," Kay spoke softly. "This – fuck –" he swore again at another cut. "This is okay, just do what he tells you."
"For once, Kay's said something intelligent. Listen to him. But Kay? Shut your fucking mouth before I do it for you."
Kay looked up at London and nodded hesitantly to him, wincing as his boyfriend added more pressure, working his way up Kay's arm as Halden made more cuts.
He was working his way up Kay's arm methodically, going over each cut several times as he deepened them. Halden was careful, too. Kay got the sickening feeling that he knew exactly how deep he could go without putting Kay in any real danger. That kind of confidence only came from practice.
By the time Halden had finished carving the 'L' into Kay's arm, Kay had given up trying to be strong for London. His quick, sharp breathing hadn't been hidden before, but he'd tried to fight through tears, and through the realisation that this was the equivalent of Halden claiming ownership over him. Even if Halden didn't want him.
Kay forced another smile at London, who was doing little to hide his concern. Despite the towel, London had blood all over his hands already. And his face. But that had already dried. The blood covering his hands was sticky and fresh.
Aside from quiet cursing as Halden continued, Kay was able to be quiet. Even at the pain of London's pressure, he was able to stay quiet. He shifted himself and rested his head in the elbow of his left arm, feeling better now he couldn't see what Halden was doing.
Each incision brought on more pain, but Kay didn't have to see the blood. Didn't have to deal with it. It just was.
Then, the new pain stopped. It was replaced by the throbbing pain of London somehow putting pressure on the entirety of his forearm at once.
Kay thought he might have blacked out at that point. He wasn't sure. He was vaguely aware that he'd gotten up, and that Halden had told London to make sure Kay left the injuries alone, and then he was in the bathroom. Had he walked there?
He didn't have the answer to that.
Then someone – London – snapped his fingers in front of Kay's face.
"Kay? I'm done, you with me?"
"Hm?" Kay looked up at a greatly concerned London. "Done with what?"
"Cleaning the cuts. Like you asked me to."
"I did?..." Kay's gaze flickered over London's face in confusion. "I – I asked you to?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Oh... I don't remember," he admitted.
"That's okay, you've had a rough couple of hours."
"Hours?"
"Mhm, he waited for the bleeding to stop and he opened up the cuts again. You were awake – you were talking to me. Telling me that it was fine. You really don't remember?"
Kay shook his head. "Are you upset with me?"
"For... for spacing out? No. No, I'm not upset with you – just worried. That's all. Really."
Kay realised that he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub with a bandaged arm outstretched over the sink.
"He let you bandage it?"
"Mhm, he said I could do whatever I needed to so it stays clean and 'scars nicely'."
"I'm sorry I dragged you into this. I'll keep you safe, I promise."
"Kay, you didn't drag me into anything. We'll get out of this soon and Halden will go to prison for what he's done to you. I'll make sure of it." London glanced down at Kay's bandaged arm, deciding that it should be secure now. He slowly sat down on the side of the bathtub beside Kay. "Just because things are bad now, that doesn't mean they always will be, okay?"
Kay nodded as he leant his head on London's shoulder. "Okay, I believe you," he mumbled, moving even closer when London wrapped an arm around him. "When you get out of this, can you promise me something?"
"Anything. But we're both getting out, not just me."
"Whatever you want to think," Kay muttered, finally pulling his bandaged arm into his lap. "Can you look after Fido for me?"
"Yeah, of course I can," London nodded.
He decided not to continue addressing Kay's blatant pessimism. Kay was just tired, and probably hungry. London was helpless in making either of those things better, but at least he could be with Kay.
At least Kay wasn't dealing with this alone.
London didn't think he would cope alone.