[Aika]
I was standing outside the door of Ryuuji's patient room. He's been in the hospital for a week. Tatlong beses lang akong nakapasok sa loob para bantayan siya. Iyon ang mga araw na hindi pa nagigising si Ryuuji, but since Ryuuji woke up I was banned from entering his room. Ang sabi ng Mommy ni Ryuuji, ayaw daw akong makita ni Ryuuji bagay na ikalungkot ko.
"I'm sorry, Aika, but Ryuuji really didn't want to see you, "his mom explained.
I smiled. "Okay lang po, gusto ko lang malaman kung kumusta na po siya ngayon?"
"He is getting stronger everyday." she grabbed my arm. "Pasensiya ka na Aika, hindi ko puwedeng ipagpilitan sa kanya ang gusto ko, dahil baka hindi inumin ni Ryuuji ang mga gamot niya." She said, and look like sad.
"Wala po kayong dapat ipag-alala sa'kin, sige po, aalis na po ako, babalik na lang ulit ako mamaya," I turned away from her.
"Aika!" she shouted.
Muli akong lumingon. "Bakit po, Tita?"
"Do you have a problem with Ryuuji, so he doesn't want to see you?" she asked.
I shook my head. "Wala naman po kaming problema."
She sighed. "Just let Ryuuji do what he wants, talk to him when he gets better though he is tough to understand."
"Maghihintay po ako, hanggang sa kausapin niya ako, ang mahalaga lang po sa'kin malaman kong gumagaling na siya. Mauna na po ako, papasok pa ako sa klase." pagkatapos umalis na ako. After I left, tears flowed down my cheeks as I walked out of the hospital.
I was hurt when Ryuuji ignored me, I wanted to ask him why he was angry, but he didn't want to talk to me.
While I was waiting for the tricycle to go to school, the maroon car stopped in front of me. The car door opens, and Aeron exits. I avoided looking at him since Ryuuji got into an accident.
"Aika." he shouted.
I didn't turn around pretending I didn't hear him. I felt him come closer until he patted my shoulder.
"Ikaw pala," I smiled.
Seryoso ang mukha niyang nakatingin sa'kin. "Nakausap mo na ba si Ryuuji?"
I shook my head. "Tulog kasi siya," alibi ko.
"Gusto mo gisingin natin para makapag-usap kayo?"
Umiling-iling ako. "Hindi na, papasok na rin ako sa klase." I stepped a little farther away from him. "Alis na ako,"
"Aika!"
I didn't turn around, but I raised my hand to let him know I was leaving,
We are the reason Ryuuji's accident. Ayoko ng madagdagan pa ito.
Pumara ako ng jeep at sumakay ko, imbes na sa school ako pupunta dadaan muna ako sa simbahan upang ipagdasal si Ryuuji ng sa ganoon gumaling siya agad.
"Aika!" someone called my name.
I smiled when I saw Manong. I approached him, and I drew some money in my skirt pocket
"Pabili po ako ng dalawa,"I gave him fifty pesos of money.
Inabot sa'kin ang dalawang ice drop at pati ang sukli. "Keep the change, sa inyo po ang isa," I smiled.
"Ang bait mo talaga Aika, palagi ka na lang nanlilibre sa'kin, baka naman tinitipid mo ang baon mo parang mabigyan ako."
We are standing on the edge of the church where a mango tree was covering us in the heat of the sun, the older man opened the ice cream stick and ate it as he wiped the body with sweat.
"Libre ko iyan sa inyo kasi nanalo po ako sa contest sa school."
He smiled at me. "Congrats sa'yo, hindi ka lang mabait at maganda, matalino ka pa."
"Binobola ninyo naman po ako, Manong, papasok muna po ako sa simbahan."
Tumango siya sa'kin. "Sige, isama mo naman ako sa dasal mo Aika,"
"Sige po," pumasok ako sa loob ng simbahan at taimtim na nagdasal. Simula nang ma-aksidente si Ryuuji palagi na akong dumadalaw dito. Pagkatapos kong manalangin agad din akong pumasok sa school.
Nagle-lecture ang prof namin sa biopsychology ngunit ang isip ko ay nasa cellphone kong hawak, ilang beses ko na itong tinitingan kung may darating na text mula kay Ryuuji.
I couldn't even count my sighs as I watched my professor teaching ahead of us.
"He really forgot me. I murmured.
"Miss Aika!"
Suddenly I looked ahead and saw that our prof was looking at me, her eyebrows raised as she looked.
"Y-Yes, ma'am?" I got nervous.
Inayos pa niya ang makapal niyang salamin sa mata. "Stand up,"
I immediately stood up and looked at her, hoping she would not ask me for her lectures, as I would surely be embarrassed. I didn't listen to her while she was teaching.
She raised her right eyebrow. "Are you listen to my lectures?" she asked.
"Yes." kahit ang totoo hindi ko masyadong naintindihan ang tinuturo niya kanina.
"Let see... What is Neurotransmitters?"
"Neurotansmitters is chemicals that are used to relay, amplify and modulate signals between a neuron and another cell.Often referred to as the body’s chemical messengers.Molecules used by the nervous system to transmit messages between neurons, or from neurons to muscles." I answered politely.
Mabuti na lang at natandaan ko pa ang meaning na 'yon, ito kasi ang binasa ko kagabi dahil kasama iyon sa assignment niya.
"How about Acetylcholine?"
"Acetylcholine..." I briefly thought about what that meant.
"Miss Aika?" tawag ng professor namin nang hindi agad ako nakapagsalita.
"A chemical messsenger..." said Timmy in a low voice.
"Acetycholine a chemical messenger that causes our skeletal muscles to contract and regulates our endocrine system."
"Very good, sit down."
Napabuga ako ng hangin, instant recitation tuloy ako ngayong araw. Tumingin ako kay Timmy. "Thank you," I whispered to her.
Isang ngiti ang naging tugon niya sa'kin. Pagkatapos nakinig na ako sa professor ko, mahirap na baka mapatayo naman.
"Aika," sambit ni Timmy.
I turned to her. Nakadikit na ang braso niya sa braso habang nakatingin kunwari sa professor namin na natuturo ng philippines history.
"Bakit?" tanong ko sa kanya. Nakatingin din ako sa professor namin.
"Anong nangyari kay Ryuuji?"
I smiled bitterly. Pinipilit na kontrolin ang luha kong gusto ng pumatak. "He's in the hospital."It was like a thorn in my throat when I said that.
"Anong nangyari?" tanong niya.
"Na-aksidente ang kotse niya, aray! Napuwing ako," kinusot ko ang mga mata ko.
"Mukhang pati ikaw dapat madala sa hospital." she teased.
Ano ba ibig sabihin ng Limbic system?" Pag-iiba ko ng usapan.
Bumuntong-hininga siya. "A complex system of nerves and networks in the brain, involving several areas near the edge of the cortex concerned with instinct and mood. It controls the basic emotions. Fear, pleasure, anger and drives hunger, sex, dominance, care of offspring.
"Thanks, I forgot." I avoided looking at her.
*******
I was standing in front of Ryuuji's room door. I couldn't knock because Ryuuji might wake up and see me here. Like this morning I came here, here I am again. I took a deep breath several times because I was hesitant to go in. The door opened, and the nurse came out on duty. She smiled sweetly, and I smiled. He was holding a white try containing a drugs.
"Ma'am, pumasok na kayo walang kasama ang pasyente tulog siya," sabi ng Nurse.
I nodded at her. "Thank you." I went inside. I tried not to make a noise so that Ryuuji wouldn't wake up. Ryuuji's room was large with a refrigerator and a massive 40 inches smart Tv, and I also saw fruit and food from the table. I approached Ryuuji and looked at him. His left knee has a bandage as well as his head with a bruise on his right arm. I slowly sat down on the edge of his bed and watched her.
"Magpagaling ka Huds, hindi ko alam kung bakit ka nagagalit sa'kin noong nakita mo kami ng Kuya mo na nag-uusap, hindi naman ako pumayag na maging model, hindi naman ako pumayag sa alok niya. 'Wag ka ng magalit sa'kin. 'wag mo naman 'kong ipagtabuyan tuwing dadalaw ako sa'yo rito." Pakikipag-usap ko sa tulog.
I was tempted to hold his hand and then slowly squeezed it. "I miss you, Huds."
"Aika?"
Binitawan ko ang kamay ni Ryuuji at tumingin sa nasa may pinto. Tumayo ako. "Tita," bati ko sa mommy ni Ryuuji.
She put the paper bag over the table. Lumapit siya sa'kin at tiningnan niya si Ryuuji na mahimbing na natutulog. "Pinapasok ka ba niya rito?"
I shook my head and tried to smile at her. "Lumabas 'yung Nurse kanina at sinabing tulog daw si Ryuuji,"
Nilingon ng Mama niya si Ryuuji. "Ang anak kong iyan talaga, gusto siya lagi nasusunod."
"Okay lang po, ang mahalaga nakita ko siya ngayon, sige po, uuwi na ako."
I turned around to go away.
"Ipapahatid na kita sa driver," she offered.
Umiling ako at ngumit. "Salamat po, isang jeep lang naman ang sasakyan ko, alis na po ako."
"Mag-iingat ka,"
I sighed. It's hard for me to leave Ryuuji in this situation, but what can I do if he doesn't want to see me.
Siksikan ang sa loob ng jeep dahil rush hour na. Kaya naman halos maghalo na ang pawis ko sa katabi ko sa jeep. Pagdating ko ng bahay nakita ko si Mama na may kausap, kaya sumenyas na ako kay Mama na papasok na sa loob ng kuwarto ko.
"Siya na ba si Aika?" narinig kong sabi ng babaing kausap ni Mama.
"Oo," sagot ni Mama.
"Dalaga na siya."
I entered my room and changed my clothes. I comb my hair when I hear someone knocking on the door.
"Aika, lumabas ka muna sandali,"
Hininto ko ang pagsusuklay at Binuksan ko ang pinto. "Bakit po, Mama?"
"Gusto ka kausapin ni Ate Lorie."
Umarko ang kilay ko. "At Lorie? pag-uulit ko.
"Kapatid siya ng Papa mo," sabay iwas ng tingin ni Mama.
I was shocked at what my Mama said, since I was a child, I have never seen my father, and I don't know what he looks. I also never had the opportunity to meet my father's family or relatives. Mom was always with me. We were together until I grew up.
"Bakit nandito siya?"
"Kausapin mo na anak," sabi ni Mama. Nakita ko sa mukha niya ang saya.
Wala akong maramdamang pagkasabik sa sinabi ni Mama. Marahil nasanay akong kami lang ang magkasama.
I nodded and got out of the room. I saw Auntie Lorie sitting and watching TV. Ngumiti siya nang makita niya akong papalapit sa kanya.
I sat down next to him.
"Ako nga pala si Lorie, bunsong kapatid ng Papa mo," paunang sabi niya.
"Sinabi na nga po ni Mama," walang kagana-gana kong sagot.
Bumuntong-hininga siya. "Pinapunta ako rito ng Papa mo, gusto ka niyang makita,"
Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Buhay pala siya," I sarcastically answered.
"Aika!" Saway ni Mama sa'kin.
"Alam kong galit ka sa Papa mo, kaya ako nandito para sabihin sa'yo ang gusto niyang sabihin, gusto niyang bumawi sa'yo."
Kuyom ang kamao ko at nagpipigil ako sa galit. "Hindi ko na po siya kailangan, maayos naman akong pinalaki ni Mama,"
"Pagbigyan mo sana ang Papa mo, Aika," sabi ni Tita Lorie.
"Kung wala na po kayong sasabihin, babalik na ako sa kuwarto ko, marami akong gagawing assignment." tumayo ako at pagkatapos bumalik ako sa kuwarto ko. I cried when i was in the room. Ang tagal kong hinintay ang Papa ko na makita siya pero kahit anino niya hindi siya nagparamdam sa'kin. Pagkatapos ngayon bigla siyang susulpot.
I wiped my tears. "Hindi ko na siya kailangan."