Charlotte was seriously impressed when Louis parked up at the hotel, the huge building imposing on the landscape behind it.
"Louis, how can you afford this?"
"Relax, I've lived like some sorta hermit for the last six months." He shrugged self-consciously. "Well, until I met you again, so I've got the money."
"Even so, I don't like to think I'm taking advantage of you," she said as she stepped out of the car.
"You're not, I kinda wish you would," he said tongue in cheek. "One thing though, as far as anyone here's concerned we're married, I thought they might be a bit funny with us otherwise."
"Right." She looked around warily, instantly feeling like she was doing something wrong. "We could have got separate rooms."
"They didn't have any left." She pulled a face making her disbelief clear. "But at least you're wearing your wedding ring if anyone does get suspicious."
She looked down at the ring on her left hand, the sun shining off it. "Oh this isn't my real wedding ring, it's just a ring I've got. I wear it so the parents at school don't gossip about my marital status, the ones who don't know about it that is."
His face broke into an easy smile. "That's a good idea, your private life is none of their business."
"I hope you've told your mom that."
His smile faded. "Of course I have." He opened the trunk of the car taking their cases out. "Look Lottie how about we don't talk about my mom, or your ex, or anything else that might spoil our time here."
She nodded, regretting dampening the mood. "I can agree with that. For the next few days, we can pretend that none of them exists."
He picked up their cases. "Okay, let's get checked in."
~~~
Charlotte walked over to the window in their hotel room, taking in the sea view as the sun was setting. The scenery couldn't have been more perfect.
"We didn't have to come back here after dinner," Louis said locking the door behind them. "If you wanna go out for a drink or something I don't mind."
She stepped away from the window, and holding her arms out she spun around, luxuriating in the space. "Are you kidding? I want to make the most of this bedroom." He grinned and she playfully slapped him. "I meant the most of this space. I'm used to having barely two feet between Jamie's bed and mine, and having to fight to get into the wardrobe."
He chuckled. "If you say so, but anyway I'm glad you approve."
"You make it sound like I'm difficult."
"And how can I answer that without digging myself into a hole."
"You can't," she said. "But seriously Louis, thank you for all of this." It was way beyond anything she'd expected, anything she could have afforded for herself, and she probably did not deserve it. She turned back to the window feeling overwhelmed.
"You're worth it," Louis said appearing behind her and resting his head on top of hers.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
"I'm going to go in the shower," Louis said as if sensing she needed some space. "If there's a knock at the door it's only room service, I ordered us some drinks."
"You are totally spoiling me," she exclaimed finding her voice again. "How is it that you haven't got a girlfriend?"
"I think I've answered that question before," he said giving her a pointed look. "I'll be right back."
She sat down on the bed, waiting until she could hear the shower running. Once it had been going for a good minute she grabbed the telephone receiver and quickly dialled her brother's number.
"Hi Sam, it's me," she said speaking rapidly as soon as he answered.
"Hey, I was expecting you to call hours ago." She didn't miss the accusing tone.
"Sorry, I got caught up with things."
There was a long pause. "Okay, but you can't blame me for worrying under the circumstances."
Not this again, would he ever let her forget it?
"You need to lighten up, I'm a big girl," she said pretending she didn't know what he was alluding to.
"I guess," Sam said grudgingly. "But you'll always be my little sister to me. I should look out for you, I mean now that dad's gone and all. Not that he could do much when he was here but it's down to me to protect you. And I didn't, and I'll never forgive myself."
Great, he was barely sober and rambling.
"Sam, you do look out for me," she said speaking more slowly. "And I need you to do me a favour. If Nick calls-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You're at Darlene's or washing your hair, I've got it."
"Good. I mean I doubt he will call, he hates me encroaching on his time with Jamie."
"Don't worry, I'll cover for you and if that asshole shows his face it'll be the last thing he does."
She shook her head. "I've told you before, he's not worth it."
Sam made some sort of growling sound. "After what he did to you, what he put you through. You would never have-"
She removed the telephone receiver from her ear, silencing his words, as her finger lightly traced one of the scars from her marriage. Still, the physical scars were nothing compared to the mental ones. "Sam, I've got to go now. I'll call again in the next day or two." She disconnected the call and went back to the window, taking the chance to enjoy the scenery again. Barely two minutes later Louis appeared behind her.
"Hey," he said lightly touching her shoulder. "You look deep in thought there."
"Oh." She jumped even though she'd been waiting for him. "I guess I am." He looked at her expectantly. "We said we weren't going to talk about the past."
"Ten-minute truce? If something's on your mind you might as well tell me."
She sighed, she couldn't tell him everything, she didn't want to. "It's nothing really, I was thinking about karma in a roundabout sorta way."
"Karma?"
"I always thought I was a good person," she said her brows knotting together. "But then all this bad stuff happened to me, and I have to think about what I did to deserve it."
"You didn't do anything. Shit happens."
"No, I did something bad, or tried to, or thought about it." Urgh, what am I saying? I should just tell him I called Sam. "When I was first pregnant with Jamie I'd have done anything not to have been. I mean I did. I tried all the things that are supposed to make you miscarry, hot baths, cold baths, gin in the bath." She laughed without humour. "And now when I'd love another child, I can't have one. It feels like a punishment."
"It's not, it's totally random."
She looked up at him. "Do you really believe that cos it seems like a pretty big coincidence to me."
He nodded. "Yeah, I do. There's no such thing as karma, bad things happen to good people and vice versa."
She was taken aback by his serious tone. "It sounds like there's a story in there."
"No, not really." They fell into silence and then he cleared throat. "I've served with men, boys, who go step on a land mine on their first tour." He took a deep breath. "I had a friend, he was about nineteen and he should have been anywhere but Vietnam. You've never seen someone less like a soldier. It was a few weeks before he was due leave...he didn't make it."
"I'm so sorry." She turned, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"That's life," he said gruffly. "Being a good person has nothing to do with it. You've done nothing to deserve what happened to you."
"I'd like to believe you," she said her voice muffled into his chest.
"Lottie, you've gotta get out of your own head and live your life."
"I guess."
He leaned back forcing her to meet his eyes. "There's no guessing about it. Promise me you'll try."
She nodded, breaking eye contact. Words were easy, putting them into action was something else.
~~~