Matty
Camping when you're a teenager is a lot different than when you're 26, mostly because you don't care where you end up sleeping due to being so fucked up. There hasn't been many moments in my life so far that have made me think about how I'm getting older but waking up on the ground of a forest in the middle of summer really hit me differently at the age of 26. My back was aching.
The only upside to it all was the fact I was waking up next to Alyssa but she was still knocked out, I couldn't help but watch her as she peacefully slept beside me. It didn't really hit me at first just how lucky I am that I somehow got her back after I foolishly pushed her away. What was I thinking? It was the worst decision I ever made because look at us now? Yeah we had an argument yesterday but that's apart of being in a relationship.
Why did I ever think that breaking up with Alyssa would make anything better in either of our lives? In reality it only showed us both how much we appreciated and needed each other. It could be a cynical way to think about it all but my life fell apart in the months we weren't together. I took too many drugs and drank myself to sleep most nights. Some of it out of guilt for lying but also because I knew that I broke her heart.
George would bring her up in passing conversations, talking about her struggles a little but he would never fully tell me just how bad it was. I was always left in the dark. It led me to stalk her social media on a daily basis, hoping to find something that would give me any indication that her life was improving without me. A part of me didn't want her to be happy without me, my ego and love for her kept that thought alive and well. On the other hand if she was happy then I knew it would solidify the decision to end things. But I never found evidence of either, it was like she put up a front online.
Now don't get me wrong here, don't we all pretend to happier online than we truly are? If I didn't have the level of followers that I do now, I would definitely be more active in showing off my fake happiness. It's harder when you have thousands of people watching your every move though, so I only post snippets of my life and keep it related to the band, give the fans what they want so to speak. In the end though, all I ever seemed to see on Alyssa's Instagram and Twitter was basic selfies, pictures with friends and books that she would recommend people to read.
It would only fuel my need to know more though. I just wanted to be inside her head sometimes, to know what she was thinking, to see what she sees. Why did she care about me after everything I put her through? Why was I so special to her? Did she really love me or the idea of me? These were the questions I would ask myself daily, until it all became clear to me that day on the beach in California. There are no answers to those questions that would justify the fact that she just did. She just did love me. She does love me. And no matter how much I question it myself, I can't stop her feeling the way she does. I just have to accept it and be grateful that she didn't lose her love for me.
Alyssa begun to stir next to me, a soft groan escaped her lips causing me to look over to her again. "What time is it?" She mumbled, not even opening her eyes yet.
"How did you even know I'm awake?" I asked her with a soft chuckle.
"You've been fidgeting with the blankets for the last five minutes which is a massive giveaway." She opened her sleepy eyes and looked at me. A look of pain shot across her face and she closed her eyes again, pulling the blanket over her head.
"So the hangover begins." I laughed. "It's 11am." I confirmed for her.
"Fuck sake." She groaned dramatically, I slid under the blanket and faced her. "I don't wanna get up yet."
"You don't have to." I whispered. She opened her eyes and looked at me with a pout.
"But I don't want to waste the day by sleeping." She whined.
"You sound like a child right now." I chuckled, her face scrunched up and it made me laugh even more.
"I drank way too much last night, why did you let me do that?" She asked.
"I'm not gonna stop you, who am I to tell you to slow down?" I grinned at her.
"Well you're gonna have to deal with my whining all day now, so in future you should think about that before letting me down a whole bottle of Vodka." She said firmly.
"Alyssa, you're always moaning about stupid shit so it's not like this will be anything new." I shot back with a smirk.
"I do not." She protested.
"Okay, sure you don't." I rolled my eyes. "But we should get up soon."
"Fine." She mumbled. "Can I at least lie under here for like an hour and wallow in my own self misery?"
"No, you can't." I laughed and sat up, pulling the blanket off her face. She looked up at me with so much disgust.
"You're a monster." She spat at me, I just shook my head laughing.
"Get up." I told her. If looks could kill then I'd be a dead man walking.
I got dressed as quickly as I could but Alyssa took her time, probably because she was dying a little from all the alcohol she drank last night. I found it cute in a way, how slow and pouty she was being. I decided to leave her to get dressed and left the tent. When I got out there I noticed that George's car wasn't there and no one else seemed to be awake or around.
Eventually Alyssa came out of the tent looking a lot more alive than before. She was wearing a light orange summer dress that stopped at her mid thighs. Her white docs set the outfit off though, she looked amazing. How did I get so lucky?
"Wow." I whispered, she looked at me confused.
"What?" She asked.
"You look amazing." I said with a smile spreading across my face, her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. "I love that you still get so embarrassed whenever I say things like that to you."
"I'm not embarrassed." She tried to hide her smile behind her hair a little but I still saw it.
"Come here." I nodded for her to walk towards to me. She slowly made her way to me and as soon as she was within arms reach I pulled her into mine. "You're the most beautiful person on this planet and I'm gonna keep fucking saying it." She looked at me and broke out into a massive smile. I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, it felt kinda magical.
Her arms snaked around my neck and she pulled back, her grin gave me butterflies. "Sometimes you say the sweetest things." She mumbled. I leaned my forehead against hers and grinned.
"I know, I'm a hopeless romantic really." She laughed at that.
"I like it though." She said.
The sound of George's car returning made us both look towards it, the music blared out of the door as Nessa and Adam both got out. George fumbled around for a second before turning the engine off and the music followed seconds after. Nessa was holding a McDonald's bag and walked towards us. "Here." She said passing the bag to Alyssa.
"You guys went to McDonald's?" Alyssa asked confused.
"Yeah, we were hungry and honestly I needed something that wasn't George's attempt at making breakfast on a fucking disposable barbecue." She rolled her eyes. George sauntered over with two cups of coffee in his hand.
"This is meant to be a camping trip, isn't going to McDonald's kinda cheating?" Alyssa asked them.
"Do you want it or not?" George asked her.
"Well of course I do." She chuckled and took the bag coffee off him, he handed the other one to me.
"Since you were a drunken mess last night we thought you might need some coffee." George nodded towards Alyssa.
"You weren't much better." Alyssa shot back.
"I guess I just handle the hangovers better." George smirked at her and walked off. Alyssa looked at me with a pout. I was just grateful that I had coffee.
-
Alyssa
I stood in front of the waterfall, looking at it with a slight level of disappointment. "I mean it's not quite what I pictured." I told Matty, he looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.
"Yeah it's not how I remembered it either." He told me, scratching the back of his head. You could barely even call it a waterfall, it was more like a tap was left on and the basin was over flowing onto the floor slowly.
"Well you get points for effort." I tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible but it was a pretty disappointing scene to witness.
"I'll be honest with you Alyssa, I was fucked half the time we ever came here so clearly my head full of booze and drugs told me this looked a lot better than it is." He chuckled. "I'm sorry it's not quite what you pictured."
"I appreciate it all the same Matty, the fact you even thought about it makes me happy." I told him, he reached out and grabbed my hand. Our fingers intertwined and it made me smile.
"So that's kinda ruined the day a bit." He mumbled. I looked at him with a sly smirk.
"Has it?" I asked.
"Well it's not exactly the picturesque scene you wanted." He shrugged.
"Matty..." I said quietly, he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" He asked. I leaned up and kissed him, he was a bit taken back at the sudden gesture but the look on his face when I pushed him into the lake was worth the disappointment for the worst waterfall I think that exists in the world. The second he hit the water he let out a scream that brought the attention of the group towards us. "Alyssa!" He screamed at me.
"Oh my God." George burst out laughing at the scene in front of him. The only part of Matty that was above the water was his head, which was now drenched. He tried to keep a glare on his face but couldn't hold it for long before it turned into laughter.
"You're evil." Matty called up to me.
"It was too good to resist." I laughed at him. Suddenly I felt myself be pushed forward into the water too. The second I hit the lake, the cold liquid shocked me. I came back to the surface and saw Adam standing in the place I was seconds ago with a grin on his face.
"Was only fair." Adam shrugged.
"It's so fucking cold." I stuttered a little. One by one everyone jumped into the lake, it was probably a stupid idea but when did we ever make the right choices in this group? Matty grabbed onto my waist and pulled me under the water, making me scream loudly. Everyone laughed at the sudden noises I was making.
"Matty!" I shouted at him, a little annoyed at the fact he gave me no fucking warning. Although I basically did the same thing to him, maybe I shouldn't complain too much.
"Lighten up, you just chucked me in here." He chuckled.
"He's got a point there Alyssa." Ross nodded. Before I knew it everyone started splashing each other, causing a massive war between us. It was funny at first but then I could barely see from the amount of water that was getting in my eyes.
I decided to get out of the lake and sit on the rocks nearby, watching everyone have a good time. Luckily we all took our shoes off and didn't have our phones on us or else we'd all be fucked. My dress was drenched but the heat from the sun would dry it out quickly.
I watched Matty get out of the lake and come over to sit next to me. "Are you having fun?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I am." I smiled at him.
"I'm glad, even though I kinda ruined your day yesterday." He mumbled. "All I wanted was for you to have a nice weekend."
"And I appreciate you organising this for me." I said leaning my head on his shoulder.
"Anytime." He whispered.
-
"What was that?" Nessa asked looking at us all as we sat around the fire. Tonight we decided not to drink due to how fucked everyone got last night.
"I don't know." Adam responded with a confused look on his face.
"It didn't sound good." Nessa said filled with worry, the night sky lit up above us.
"Oh shit." George mumbled. The thunder rumbled in the distance as another flash of lightening cracked across the sky.
"Didn't you say it was supposed to be good weather this weekend?" Matty asked George with a glare.
"I didn't see shit about thunder and lightening though." George shot back. A few drops of rain begun to fall around us.
"Yeah this isn't good." Adam shook his head. It was like the sky opened up and poured a bucket full of water down onto us. The rain came on a lot quicker than I expected it to, battering down onto the floor of the forest.
"What do we do?" Nessa asked George, he looked around us and shrugged.
"Do we leave?" I asked. Another flash of light lit up the darkened forest and I jumped slightly. The rain was getting heavier, soaking us all completely within seconds.
"Well I don't want to stay here now." Nessa said a little panicked. "I'm not good with loud noises like this."
"Fuck sake." Matty groaned and ran over towards out tent. I watched him pull out our bags and I went over to him and took them off him, he passed me his car keys and I took them over to the car. Everyone else begun to follow our actions and took the tents down as quickly as they could. It was funny seeing everyone frantically running around in the pouring rain. The fire died out fast, leaving us with little to no light.
"Matty." I started laughing loudly.
"What?" He asked me as he frantically rolled up the tent.
"You have mud on your face." I laughed even harder, he tried to wipe if off with the back of his hand but it failed because the tent was still in his arms.
"Did I get it?" He looked at me, I shook my head laughing even more. "Stop laughing and help me." He chuckled. I walked over to him and rubbed away the dirt with the sleeve of my hoodie that was now soaked.
"There you go." I smiled at him.
"Thanks." He said and quickly kissed me then slipped off past me and over to the car. Everyone else had their stuff packed up a few minutes later. I jumped into the passenger side of Matty's car as Adam jumped in the back. Matty got in the drivers side and quickly started the car to get some heat in since we were all drenched.
George rolled down his window and I did the same. "Where are we going?" George asked. Matty made a face then sighed.
"We could do probably the worst thing possible and go to my mum's." Matty groaned.
"I'd love to see Denise." George smirked.
"You could go to your own families house y'know." Matty rolled his eyes.
"Nah, we're going to the Welch residence, you've already suggested it now." George shot back, he slowly backed out onto the trail.
"I shouldn't have fucking mentioned it." Matty mumbled and followed George's actions
"Isn't your mum gonna kill us for turning up at her house at 11pm on a Saturday night?" I asked him.
"Surprisingly not, she's gonna love this actually." He said bitterly. I tried to not to giggle at the look on his face but I failed miserably. This would be interesting.
-
Matty
I knocked on the door slowly, completely and utterly defeated. Everyone stood behind me excited to see my mum's reaction to us lot standing on her doorstep at this time of night looking like we just got dragged out of a muddy swimming pool.
The door opened after a few minutes and my mum's face was priceless to be honest. "What on earth are you all doing here?" She asked in shock.
"Funny story Denise." George pushed past me to stand in front of my mum. "We went camping and then it started to thunder, the rain nearly washed us away." His voice went all innocent and childlike.
"Didn't you check the weather before coming all the way up here to go camping?" She asked him.
"Well we did but it didn't say there would be thunder and lightening." He said quietly.
"Right well I guess I'm going to have to put you lot up for the night." She beamed at him, he looked at me and gave a sly wink. Sometimes I hated how comfortable George was around my family.
Mum invited everyone in and was shocked to see Alyssa was here too. She pulled me aside once everyone got into the living room after strict instructions to take off their shoes. "What?" I asked her.
"I'm just confused that Alyssa is with you all, what's that all about?" She asked in a nosey type of way. I didn't tell her about us getting back together yet, maybe I was a bit stupid for that one but to be honest it wasn't my top priority after doing a tour in America.
"Why would it matter if she was here or not? She's everyone's friend." I rolled my eyes at her.
"Are you okay with being around her though? I know you took the break up pretty badly." She told me.
"How would you know that? I've barely seen you mum." I sighed.
"George told me." She said firmly.
"Of course he did." I shook my head. "Anyway we got back together." I shrugged like it was no big deal.
"You little bugger." She slapped my arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I forgot I guess." I glared at her rubbing my now sore arm. "Sorry." I mumbled after I saw the look on her face, Denise could be quite scary sometimes.
"Fuck sake Matty, you know how gutted I was when you two split up." She huffed. "Thank God that didn't last long, you know she's the only girl that you've ever dated that I think is perfect for you." She went on. "If that girl can put up with your shit then don't fuck it up again please."
"Right mum." I groaned. "Can I go and get changed now, I'm fucking soaking."
"I'll make some tea for everyone." She nodded and walked into the living room to ask everyone what they wanted.
-
I watched Alyssa slowly walk into my bedroom with her hair tied up in a bun and wearing one of my old t-shirts from my youth. The darkness in the room made it hard for her to see where she was going but my eyes had already adjusted to the light so I could see her perfectly. She finally found the bed and climbed in. "Are you sleeping?" She asked me.
"Not yet." I said to her. She slid under the covers and curled up into me.
"Your mum wouldn't stop going on about how much of an idiot you are for breaking up with me." She said with a slight hint of amusement in her voice.
"Oh I know, I've heard it all." I huffed. "It's bad enough that I got the lecture but the fact she's now telling you what she thinks of my actions is beyond embarrassing."
"I thought it was hilarious to be honest, we had a right old nag about you." She said then kissed my chest.
"Yeah well get it out of your system now because I am perfect really." I joked.
"Matty..." She whispered, I looked down at her and she was staring up at me. "When we were in California you said that you don't really want to have a family, was that true?"
"I'm not sure." I told her honestly. "Do you really want to have this chat now?" I asked with a nervous laugh.
"I'm just curious is all." She said a little defeated.
"I didn't for a long time but more recently I've kinda warmed to the idea a bit." I said to her, she laid her head back down on my chest and I ran my hand up and down her arm. "It's hard for me to know what I want from life now that I've achieved one of my biggest dreams but I can't deny that the idea of having a family someday hasn't crossed my mind."
"I really have turned you soft, haven't I?" She said quietly.
"Maybe." I said with a grin spreading across my face. "Maybe the idea of one day having all that with you is what swayed me a little." I felt her sit up and stare at me.
"Really?" She asked in shock. I leaned up on my elbows and stared back at her.
"Yeah." I whispered back. She broke out into a grin and then leaned forward kissing me hard. "Okay I said I'm thinking about it I didn't say let's get started now." I chuckled. She sat back again with a soft smile on her face.
"Shut up." She said.
"Well I mean we can do the thing that makes babies but skip out on having a baby right now." I smirked at her. She rolled her eyes at me and then laid back down beside me.
"I just think it's good to know this stuff." She said softly. "There wouldn't be much point of being together if there wasn't a common ground for what we want out of this relationship."
"Then it's something we can talk about at some point but right now I just want to make up for the time we've lost and to keep showing you the best things in life." I told her. "We have so much time for the future, so for now let's just enjoy what we have."
"I like the sound of that." She replied, I looked over at her and smiled. And the smile she gave back to me made me realise something. If I was going to settle down with anyone, it would definitely be her.