chapter nine
valley of the dolls
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Let the record show that Izzy Windsor did not believe in love. She thought it was something you'd only find in the movies or a hundred years ago. It didn't exist in the twenty-first century. It had died with the roaring twenties and been turned into a propaganda scam. The people who still believed in it were either brainless hopeless romantics or too stubborn to admit the truth. Izzy knew the truth, though. She had known it for a long time now.
You see, her parents had raised her in an environment where love lacked. Never once had she ever heard her father tell her he loved her (she wasn't sure if he actually did anyway), and he never once kissed his wife or asked how her day had been. That always got Julia going. She was always pissed at him for not being the husband he swore to be. They were always fighting. Never once did they have a good moment; there were only bad moments in the Windsor household.
But Izzy grew up thinking that was normal. She grew up thinking love meant lots and lots of hardships. The more they yelled, the more Izzy suspected they loved each other. But that quickly changed when she realized her parents' relationship wasn't normal.
Izzy was twelve when she realized her life wasn't normal and love didn't exist.
Her father had come home from one of his business trips and it wasn't long after he arrived that he got into an argument with his wife. Izzy didn't know what had happened and at the time, she didn't care. This was normal for Izzy. So, she put in her headphones and blasted her music to tune out their voices. But then she made a mistake. She took out her headphones too soon and overheard the real reason for her parents' frequent arguments . . . and not surprisingly, it was all her father's fault.
Just like many cowardly men before him, William Windsor had cheated on his wife. And he had been cheating on her long before Izzy was even born . . . but his newest scandal went beyond one-night stands. That was when Izzy realized love didn't exist. If it did, then her father wouldn't have cheated on her mother. He wouldn't have emotionally abused his wife for years and years and years and then blamed all his problems on her. He wouldn't have done that. Love wasn't supposed to be that way.
It wasn't long after when Izzy confessed to her mother that she knew the truth. And pretty soon, at just twelve, Izzy became her mother's support system; her therapist if you will. Sure, it brought them closer, but while Izzy was picking up all the broken pieces of her mother, she had neglected to care for her own issues. She supposed it was better that way. At least then, if Izzy focused on her mother, she wouldn't have to acknowledge all the anger building up inside of her.
The anger, of course, seeped through at some points. It especially had a way of consuming Izzy when her parents would go back to normal the very next day and act as if they hadn't spent the whole night throwing plates at each other and screaming until their throats bled. That always pissed Izzy off, but she couldn't do anything about it. Her father would have a heart attack if Izzy gave any indication that the Windsors weren't perfect.
(And get this, William even went as far as to pay the staff (or as he called them 'the help' with a bitter taste on his tongue) extra just so they would keep their mouths shut about what happened behind the walls of the Windsor estate. He'd do anything to keep his image as good as gold. Oh, if only the walls could talk.)
So Izzy just kept her mouth shut and played the part of her father's puppet. She watched as her father ripped apart her mother's confidence. She watched as her parents attended galas and events they orchestrated for the Island Club. She watched as they plastered fake smiles on their faces to play their part as the perfect Windsors with perfect lives. She watched it all in silence, secretly hating her life but still wishing she could be the quick-curl Barbie doll she pretended to be.
Even after her mother's death, the lies and facades didn't stop. If anything, they only exemplified. Izzy still played the part her father had crafted for her. There had been a few missteps where Izzy let herself step out of her cookie-cutter life, but for the most part, Izzy was . . . quote-on-quote perfect. And that day, she would have to try extra hard to ignore the anger coursing through her veins and pretend to be the plastic Barbie she was assigned to be. Because it was Midsummers and her father would have extra eyes on her, looking for the slightest mistake to report on.
If it were any other day, Izzy would have stayed inside, especially since her hand was bruised from punching Rafe in the face. But, and she couldn't stress this enough, it was Midsummers, an event where a bunch of rich people got together and celebrated how wealthy they were. It was typically hosted by her father for the Island Club, but William Windsor wouldn't be there that year, so Izzy would probably have to hand out some awards to the stuck-up rich people she called acquaintances. That all meant that Izzy had to be perfect. So she woke up early that day and spent the whole morning getting ready.
It was a little after noon when Izzy finally finished getting ready and parked her car outside the Country Club where the event was being held. She had concealed the bruises on her hand so it wouldn't get back to her father that she had yet again punched someone in the face. And she had perfected her makeup so no acne scars or pimples or undereye bags would make an appearance. She had to say (and not to sound conceited, but come on) she looked fucking amazing. She was pretty, she knew that. She only hoped she looked good enough for everyone else.
As Izzy walked into the Country Club building, she stopped and glanced in a mirror to check her appearance. She was wearing a gold silk dress that had a low-cut neckline and a slit up the thigh paired with gold heels. Her neck was adorned with a diamond choker, and long diamond earrings hung from her ears. And her hair. Small white flowers were woven into her blonde hair, resting on the top of her head, which gave an angelic feel to her attire. She briefly smiled at her appearance, feeling confident enough to walk further into the building where she found the Camerons.
The Windsor girl felt out of place as she stood behind the five Camerons. She observed each of them as they conversed with each other. Sarah was talking to Wheezie, the youngest Cameron sister, and ignoring Izzy's presence. Ward had given Izzy a small smile when she walked into the room and Rose (who was wearing some odd contraption on her head) had sent her a small wave, but that was all they did before they went back to their conversation. And Rafe . . . well . . . Rafe had his gaze set on Izzy. He seemed angry. He always was. The anger which fueled him obviously had to do with the bruise on his face where Izzy had punched him.
Izzy only rolled her eyes at him. God, she wanted to go home. Midsummers wasn't the same without her mother. Not to mention it would be the anniversary of her death tomorrow. Fuck.
"Are we all ready?" Rose suddenly asked, interrupting all the conversations in the room.
"Ready as we'll ever be," Sarah huffed under her breath.
Rose shook her head at the girl. "Smile, everyone. This is a big night for us," she announced with a smile plastered on her face.
Izzy tried to keep a straight face, but her lip curled in disgust the more she stared at the hair accessory on Rose's head. She looked utterly preposterous. If Julia were there, she would have made a remark on the crown (what even the hell was it?) and had to try to control her laughter. She wished she could have joked like that, but Rose would only report back to her father complaining about how much of a brat Izzy was being. Izzy's expression hardened at the thought.
"All right. Let's go," Ward said as he wrapped an arm around Rose's waist. But then his eyes landed on Izzy and his expression faltered. "Izzy, are you doing okay? Are you feeling sick? Do you need to sit down?"
Izzy forced herself to smile. "No, I'm fine," she sighed. "Thanks, Mr. Cameron." She remembered to address him by his title instead of his first name. Her father hated it when she called her so-called superiors by their first names. She thought it was stupid . . . because it wasn't like Ward was fucking royalty.
Ward nodded his head in acknowledgment with a smile plastered on his face. He glanced at his wife then the both of them walked toward the two doors leading to the outside where the rest of the members of the Island Club resided. A few workers opened the doors for them, holding them open as the Camerons plus Izzy walked past the threshold and dispersed into the crowd.
Izzy stood on the porch with her arms folded over her chest as she watched the people around her laugh with each other. She felt like she was standing in a valley of dolls. Every last one of them was dressed in their best clothes with styled hair and jewelry that could pay off some poor kid's college tuition. They were all putting on this front and molding their personalities to accommodate for who they were expected to be. And then there was Izzy Windsor standing in the middle of them with her tan skin and sculpted facade. She had picked the personality she would share with them that day. She chose who she wanted them to see her as. She was the most plastic doll out of all of them. But Izzy wasn't who she claimed to be, she born with a void. The others were whole plastic, Izzy was hollow.
As if that wasn't enough to make her skin crawl, she felt odd being the only Windsor there. After all, the Windsors had founded the Island Club. This was their Country Club. William Windsor owned it, and yet he couldn't show up. Izzy didn't get it. She didn't want to get it. She just wanted her mom and she just wanted to go home. Being alone would have been better than standing there, being forced to remember her own personal ghost.
A hand on her arm tore her from her thoughts. She turned around to see Rafe staring back at her with a glass of whiskey in his hand. "Hey," he said. "You look nice."
"I know," Izzy muttered and gave a tight-lipped smile. The air around them felt thick. They still hadn't talked about the other night. They probably wouldn't.
Rafe pulled her to the side so they were near one of the columns. He looked at her for a second before he sighed and shook his head. "Do you want me to apologize or something? Will that make you stop hating me so much?" he asked, desperation dripping from his tongue.
Izzy glanced at the sky and watched the clouds move. She couldn't see the stars . . . at least, not in the light. She briefly closed her eyes before she fluttered them open and locked gazes with her boyfriend. "I want you to want to apologize, Rafe," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Rafe brought a hand up to his face and rubbed his chin. "Those Pogues sunk Topper's boat," he scoffed. "They couldn't get away with it."
Izzy clenched her jaw and flared her nostrils. "They have names."
"Whatever." Rafe tilted the glass of whiskey to his lips and swallowed the alcohol. He licked his lips and exhaled. "I'm just glad the cops got involved and now they're paying for what they did. Maybe now they'll learn their place."
Izzy furrowed her brows. What the hell happened with the cops? "What? What happened?" she asked before she could stop herself.
Rafe shrugged. "Maybank . . . the cops arrested him."
The twine around Izzy's heart tightened. "JJ was arrested?" she asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, they found footage," Rafe went on. "They were going to arrest Pope, but JJ confessed. He's a fucking idiot."
"Is he out?" Izzy softly questioned as she toyed with the diamond choker around her throat to distract herself.
Rafe pinched his brows together. "How should I know?"
Fuck, Izzy thought. She knew she shouldn't have cared, but she knew the Maybanks weren't the wealthiest. There was no way of knowing if his father had enough money to bail him out. And even if he did . . . what about the restitution from the damages to Topper's boat? JJ would be fucked, and Izzy knew that. She didn't want to know that. She didn't want to care. But a part of her did. Maybe she could convince Topper's mother, Cynthia Thornton, drop the charges. Or maybe she could convince her father to pay off the restitution. Maybe—
"Okay . . . what now?" Rafe groaned. He must have noticed the look on Izzy's face and thought her concern had to do with him. Typical.
Izzy screwed up her face. "Nothing."
Rafe shook his head, a clear sign that he didn't believe her. "Fine, fine, I'm sorry. Okay?" he spewed, but his words fell short of being genuine. "I'm sorry I did the right thing and taught those actual criminals a lesson. Is that enough for you?"
Izzy stared at him for a moment. It was hard to come to terms with but the person standing before her wasn't the same boy she had grown up with. His heart had turned to coal and he showed no remorse for it. Rafe wasn't Rafe anymore. He was his father's son—the prodigal son. And the boy she knew wasn't coming back. Ever. "No, it's not," she muttered. "It's not enough anymore." With that, she turned around and immersed into the valley of laughing dolls.
As Izzy weaved through the plastic faces she recognized but didn't care to know, she caught sight of Kiara talking to Pope. For a second, she thought about approaching them, but she quickly shook her head and carried on walking. She halted in her tracks when she caught sight of Sarah standing on the open field in her white dress. But she wasn't alone. Scarlet and Jennifer were talking to her, and the three of them sipped from wine glasses that they had probably stolen from the bar.
Izzy picked at the nail polish coating her fingernails. She knew what she had said to Sarah was wrong on all accounts. She had been a bitch and she regretted it. If she didn't apologize now, then she wasn't sure she and Sarah would be friends anymore, and as much as Izzy liked to think she didn't need anyone, she actually really did. Even if it was just to fill the void, Izzy needed Sarah in her life. So she pushed past her stubborn nature and inhaled sharply before she approached the three girls. "Sarah, can I talk to you?" she abruptly asked, interrupting the conversation the three girls were having.
Sarah glanced over her shoulder with an unamused expression on her face. She continued staring at her like that for a second before she gestured for Scarlet and Jennifer to leave. They rolled their eyes, but nevertheless began walking away but not before they shot Izzy a dirty look. Izzy only gave a tight-lipped smile and flipped them off. They scoffed at her and disappeared into the crowd. She guessed their friendship was easily broken, but she couldn't say she really cared. It wasn't like she considered them friends. They were just people she used to fill the void. That was all.
"What do you want, Izzy?" Sarah asked, gaining Izzy's eyes on her.
Izzy wet her lips and sighed. "I'm sorry. I was a real bitch," she admitted as she brought a hand up to fiddle with her diamond earring. "My dad sent me a text and it pissed me off. Then I saw you and I don't know. It's just you're always so happy. I guess . . . I guess I wanted you to feel just as miserable as I felt. But that was a shitty thing to do . . . and I'm sorry."
The silence wrapped them in a cold embrace as Sarah stared at Izzy, searching her face for what felt like an eternity. Then another minute passed and Sarah gave a small huff before she approached Izzy and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I get it . . . and you were drunk so I guess I can't blame you for acting like that," she muttered into the crook of Izzy's neck. "You know I love you, bitch. One little fight could never ruin us."
For a second, Izzy felt frozen. She didn't know how to deal with affection. She didn't like hugs, but if it was going to get Sarah to forgive her . . . then fine. So Izzy let herself smile as she awkwardly wrapped her arms around Sarah and rested her head against hers. "Good, because I had to spend one day alone with the three stooges over there and I wanted to kill them," she remarked, laughing softly. "All I know is there's no way in Hell, I'm ever hanging around them without you . . . like ever again."
Sarah stepped back, releasing Izzy from the embrace. She shrugged and brought the glass of wine to her lips, taking a sip. "Karma for being a bitch," she mused as she pursed her lips.
Izzy shook her head as she laughed softly. "Okay, I deserve that," she admitted. Her expression grew serious a second later when she realized she had no idea where Sarah had been the day of the movies. "Where were you anyway?"
Sarah stood still and stared at her in contemplation. She brought the wine glass away from her lips a second later and bit her bottom lip. "You gotta' promise you won't say a word if I tell you," she said, sounding hesitant.
Izzy furrowed her brows. "Yeah, sure, whatever."
"I was with John B," Sarah confessed, rushing the words out.
That only confused Izzy more. "Like JJ's friend John B?"
Sarah nodded. "I don't even know how it happened," she began as she waved around her hand, causing the wine to swish violently in the glass. "I was walking downtown and then I saw John B just flip over this chain because he was like running from the cops. I helped him, obviously, and one thing led to another, and then we were getting on a ship to Chapel Hill. We spent the whole day together. It was . . . I don't even know, Iz. It was just the best I've ever felt in my life."
Oh. A memory Izzy thought she had buried with her mother, resurfaced in her brain. She saw her mother and father screaming at each other, their faces red with anger. She heard their voices. She remembered the sound the plates and glasses made when they were smashed against the walls and clattered to the floor. She heard her mother's cries. She heard it all. And she remembered love didn't exist . . . not for people like them. Sarah was no exception. She had been dating Topper for a while now and they said they were in love, but now look at them. Sarah had moved onto someone new. Love didn't exist. It never had. Sarah had just unknowingly admitted that.
Izzy swallowed the uneasy feeling bubbling in her throat. "So you and John B are like . . . what?" she asked, her voice low and weak.
"I . . . I don't know," Sarah admitted softly. A second later, a wide grin consumed her face. "But he kissed me. He likes me, Iz . . . and I really like him . . . more than I've liked anyone I think."
Izzy furrowed her brows. For the record, she wasn't judging Sarah. The girl just moved on quickly which was normal for some girls her age. But Iz still didn't agree with Sarah's decision to cheat on Topper . . . even if he was a major asshole. "What about Topper?" she asked softly, but her voice came out harsh.
That seemed to rub Sarah the wrong way. Or maybe she just didn't know how to answer the question. Either way, she ended up shrugging her shoulders and sighing. "I was going to break up with him today but my dad told me it'd probably be better if I did it tomorrow," she muttered as she bit her lip.
Love doesn't exist, stupid girl. That phrase repeated in Izzy's head, taunting her. She didn't know why it bothered her. After all, she had been saying that since she was a kid. She knew love didn't exist . . . and yet those words bothered her. "Oh," was all she muttered.
Sarah furrowed her brows as concern twisted on her face. "What? What's wrong?" she asked. She stepped forward and wrapped a hand around Izzy's arm.
Izzy shook her head. "Nothing. I'm happy for you, S," she muttered. But Izzy wasn't happy. She felt uncomfortable in her own skin for some reason. She figured maybe the dress was too tight. Maybe if she rushed off to the restrooms to check her appearance, then the feeling would leave her. "Um . . . I just have to check my makeup."
"Oh . . . okay."
With that, Izzy turned around, but before she could get far, Sarah called out to her. "Hey, Iz," she blurted out.
Izzy sighed, but still glanced over her shoulder to lock eyes with Sarah. "Yeah?"
Sarah bit her lip and smiled. "You look perfect," she complimented, her voice like silk. "Your mom would be proud."
Izzy felt herself smile at that . . . like really smile. Your mom would be proud. She could only hope those words were true. "You look even hotter. White is definitely your color," she said. "But uh . . . just . . . just break up with Topper as soon as possible. It's better to get it out of the way."
"Yeah, of course," Sarah agreed as she nodded her head. "And meet me later so we can dance."
The Windsor girl shot her friend one last smile before she turned around and walked toward the building. But still, the memories of her parents and Sarah's confession wouldn't leave her. She didn't know why it bothered her, but she did know one thing . . . love really didn't exist. Not even a week ago, Sarah was head over heels for Topper now she was preparing to leave him in the dust and move on to the next guy. Granted, Topper was an ass, but still . . . love didn't exist anymore. It was a neurological con-job if you asked Izzy. Maybe the media had convinced the human race that love was real . . . but they also had a knack for lying. The real thing never existed in the first place. It had always been a lie . . . and for some reason, that was starting to bother Izzy more than it had any other year.
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Hours into the night, Izzy decided she'd rather drink kerosene than be around these plastic people for another minute. Why? Because as the sun set and darkness consumed the Country Club, more people filtered in, crowding the outside . . . which made Izzy feel like she was suffocating. That was when she snuck away to the bar located inside the building. She wasn't going to drink, and she didn't. She wanted to. She really just wanted to drink and let the alcohol in her system sedate her, but she knew better. Soon, she would have to give a speech that her father had prepared for her, and then she'd have to hand out awards to some stuck up rich people that she didn't care to know . . . so breaking her sobriety rule was not a good decision. Plus, her father would have a heart attack if Izzy ruined his precious Midsummers event.
Izzy was seated on a barstool, sipping club soda. She released a heavy sigh and thought about all the possible things that could go wrong and get back to her father. He'd most likely blow a gasket . . . or maybe his head would explode. Huh. She wondered what it'd look like if his head just . . . popped . . . like a balloon. But then she imagined the blood, and suddenly she felt sick to her stomach.
The girl shook her head of her thoughts and closed her eyes. It's just nerves, Izzy. Calm down, she tried to remind herself. But Izzy didn't get nervous. She wasn't a shy person. She knew that; she just didn't want to acknowledge the real reason behind her upset stomach. She just couldn't be thinking of her mother's death right now. It didn't help that the anniversary was tomorrow.
Izzy needed to be around people right now. She needed their voices to drown the thoughts in her head. So she took another sip of her club soda then slid off the barstool. Her feet were killing her, but she was used to being in pain for the sake of looking perfect. She ignored her sore feet and began walking toward the outside, but before she could advance any further, she caught sight of a familiar blond waiter weaving through the people conversing in the entrance hall.
The twine wrapped around her heart tightened as Izzy got a better look at JJ, who was trying to fix his tie, as he walked around the clusters of people. Confusion hit her first when she realized he was supposed to be in jail, but then relief flooded her a second later. He had been released and that made Izzy grow warm. She wasn't sure why she was relieved . . . and she was sure she wasn't supposed to feel that way but she did.
So you could imagine her confusion when she began walking toward him without so much as a second thought. His back was to her as he gathered empty drinks on a tray when Izzy came up behind him and tapped on his shoulder. "Excuse me, sir, can you get me a Vodka Cranberry?" she asked in her best posh accent.
"Sure, ma'am," JJ sighed, sounding irritated. But when he turned around, his eyes lit up with recognition and a ghost of a smile kissed his lips. He took a second to look at her . . . like really look at her, taking in her appearance. "On second thought . . . Vodka Cranberry? I'm disappointed. You should've gone with a whiskey."
Izzy felt herself smile softly as her eyes traveled across his attire. He swore a suit which was so unlike him, but it oddly didn't look bad on him. Actually, it suited him. He wore a floral bow-tie which amused Izzy. She wondered who picked it out for him. And his hair appeared unkempt and messy, so he probably hadn't done anything to it, yet it still looked like it had been styled. He looked good, Izzy decided. She wondered if he always looked like that and she was just starting to notice. But then her eyes landed on a bruised cut plaguing the side of his face that hadn't been there before, and her smile morphed into a frown.
"What the fuck?" Izzy blurted out as she lifted her hand to his face, grazing the bruised skin with her fingertips.
JJ rested the tray on the table beside him and raised his hands in front of him as if he was trying to keep his distance from the girl. "I know. I know. I get it. It's hard to look at someone so perfect. Don't feel bad, Iz. A lot of people are blinded by my attractiveness," he said as he ushered her with his hands.
Izzy shook her head and set her jaw as anger boiled in her veins. She wasn't sure why she was angry, but the bruises on JJ's face sparked something in her. "Stop being a dumbass. What happened to your face?" she asked as she brushed her thumb over the bruise on the apex of his cheek. "That wasn't there yesterday. I heard you got arrested. Did a cop do that to you? I can call my dad and get them fired."
The corners of his lips twitched. He curled his hand around hers and held it to his face. "Careful, Princess—" he leaned in closer to her so their faces were an inch apart— "I might start to think you actually care."
Izzy quickly realized what she was doing and ripped her hand away from his face, bringing it back to her body to tap her fingers on the glass in her hand. "I don't," she spat, but her voice didn't sound convincing. "It's just if the police are doing that shit, then they should be fired. It's not right."
JJ shook his head. "It's nothing. I just got into a fight," he claimed.
Izzy furrowed her brows. "With?"
JJ shrugged. "Not the police."
Izzy scoffed and shook her head. "Okay, then who?"
JJ ran his fingers through his blond hair in frustration. "It doesn't matter," he sighed. He cleared his throat a second later and averted his gaze to the drink in her hand. "So anyway . . . are you giving up on your sobriety already?"
But here was the thing: Izzy knew when people were lying. The skill came with being a Scorpio. It was natural. And she knew for a fact, JJ was hiding something from her . . . especially since he had tried to change the subject so quickly. She wouldn't badger him anymore that night, but for some reason, she was determined to figure out what exactly happened to him.
Izzy forced her curiosity to the side, and looked down at the drink in her hand. She imagined it to be wine for a second and she felt better. But it wasn't. It was just club soda and she was still sober . . . and she would continue to stay sober. She had to. "Just club soda," she said. She wished she would have said more, but she felt so awkward and so not like herself. Jesus, she felt like an idiot.
But JJ seemed to be amused. "It is a classic but I'm a fan of el alcohol and—" he brought his hand to his lips, pretending to smoke a joint— "weed. Just don't tell anyone unless you want me to get fired . . . but, uh, I've got some if you want to smoke with me later. You know after you've . . . what? Given your speech and done your Kook duties? Whatever, anyway, after that when the old shits drink a little too much and start dozing off . . . you can join me."
Izzy felt heavy. A part of her did want to smoke with him, but she had to keep the system clear. She used to smoke . . . like a lot. It was a borderline addiction, but she couldn't do that anymore. Not with her father breathing down her neck. Not after her mother. "I don't smoke anymore either," she said. "It kind of goes hand in hand with the sobriety shit."
JJ shrugged one shoulder. "You can still join me," he offered. "You don't gotta smoke or anything if you don't want to. I've been told I'm pretty good company sober and shitfaced. It's kind of my secret talent."
Izzy rolled her eyes and hummed. "I'll have to see if I get any better offers."
JJ made a face. "So I'm on the waiting list, am I?"
Izzy nodded. "Yeah, at the very bottom. And I gotta' say your chances of moving up aren't that great," she said, biting her lip to contain her smile.
JJ moved his head from side to side, considering her words. A second later he nodded and gave a small shrug. "I'll wait . . . as long as you promise it'll be worth it."
Izzy patted his chest. "I swear to you there's a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the line."
JJ raised his brows and hummed. "You know what? That's a pretty good deal."
"A pot of gold and I'll throw in a free dance as a down payment," Izzy blurted out before she could stop herself. She didn't even know why she said it. She was only kind of thinking about taking him by the hand and making him dance with her. She could play it off as a joke. She definitely could. Because she was totally just joking. It wasn't like the idea was in the back of her head since she first saw him walk into the Country Club. Fuck, what did she just do?
"Now that I think about it. A dance? I don't know. Not my style," JJ winced as he shook his head.
You know what? Fuck it. There was no going back now anyway. "That wasn't up for negotiation. Dance with me, Seaweed Brain," Izzy softly ordered. She wasn't sure what she was doing . . . but she didn't entirely regret it . . . yet.
"I don't know if you're familiar with the word but I'm kind of working," JJ said, gesturing to his suit.
Izzy rolled her eyes. "And I kind of don't care," she muttered as she placed her glass on the tray resting on the table. She glanced up at JJ one more time before she grabbed his hand and led him outside where the other plastic dolls were dancing to the soft, slow tunes.
The two of them weaved through the plastic bodies and made it to the middle of the field where there was enough room to dance without bumping into anyone. Izzy turned around and faced him as she adjusted her hand in his and put another hand on his shoulder. JJ shook his head at her with a soft smile on his face, then placed a hand on her waist and pulled her closer to him, swaying slightly to the music. And with his body slightly pressed against hers, Izzy started to feel like warm flesh instead of hard plastic. She even let a smile seep through the cracks of her facade.
The only flaw Izzy could find was the music playing in the background. She wished they would play The Cure or Nirvana at some point during the night, but she knew they'd never be caught playing that kind of music. Granted, it wasn't the right place, but Izzy loved that kind of music. She was sure no one there watched her website, but whatever, if they did they'd know the girl adored that kind of music. It helped her escape from reality. But, yeah, she supposed it wouldn't be the best thing if Boys Don't Cry randomly started playing while everyone was slow-dancing.
But then, JJ's hand tightened around her waist and suddenly, Izzy wasn't thinking about the music crowding her playlists. Instead, she was staring up at the boy before her, and pretty soon she found herself smiling softly at him. She let herself get wrapped up in him, and slowly rested her head on his chest. It was then the twine wrapped around her heart released its grip . . . almost as if the person on the other end had stopped tugging on the rope. She didn't know what that meant and she didn't care. All Izzy cared about at that moment was how good it felt to be this close to JJ . . . to feel the warmth of his body radiating onto her own, setting her skin on fire.
It was a lovely way to burn.
Izzy didn't believe in love. Not the true stuff, anyway. It had been ruined by mainstream media. She believed in attraction and striving for what you want. And Izzy just wanted to feel held. So she used her body as a gateway into being wrapped in someone else's arms. She didn't like to be alone. But dancing in JJ's arms felt different.
She raised her head from his chest and met his gaze. He stared at her with those same eyes that told her she was worth more than the rumors the Kooks spread, and then, she felt different. She didn't feel lonely, that was a constant, but there was something else. She felt like he was looking through her, not just at her . . . and for the first time, she felt seen.
JJ drifted his gaze across her face, studying her features. A smile lifted onto his face a second later, and his eyes locked with hers. "Jesus Christ, you're fucking captivating . . . but I bet you already knew that didn't you, Princess?" he mused in a low, hushed tone.
Izzy blinked, then she blushed as her expression slowly fell. "What?" she quietly asked. She had been called beautiful many times in her life, but never . . . captivating. She knew the two went hand in hand, but hearing JJ say it was different. It made her feel warm.
JJ shook his head. "Nothing just . . . the dress looks amazing on you."
Her cheeks burned more, and she had to bite her lip to contain the smile that had lifted onto her face. "Well—" she cleared her throat— "you look . . . not ugly."
A soft hearty laugh escaped JJ's lips. "Wow, you really have a way with words, Izzy Windsor. I'll cherish them forever," he said as he squeezed her hand and laced their fingers together.
Izzy only smiled more. "You are an idiot."
JJ nodded and smiled wider. "So I've been told."
The two of them swayed to the music with smiles on their faces for a few more seconds before the song ended and a more upbeat tune sounded from the speakers. Izzy's gaze drifted and she caught sight of Rafe watching her as his friends conversed around him. She didn't want Rafe to overreact. She couldn't have him doing that with the chance that it would get back to her father all the while screwing up the Midsummers event. So, she slowly pulled away from JJ and cleared her throat as she smoothed out her silk dress.
Izzy opened her mouth to tell JJ she had to go, but he beat her to it. "You're friends with Sarah, right?" he asked.
"Yeah," Izzy said and nodded. She was briefly reminded that love didn't exist and she instantly turned bitter. "I think she's friends with John B, too."
JJ's eyes lit up. "So you heard they're mackin' on each other too, huh?"
So he knew, too? Izzy wondered if he knew anything else about why they went to Chapel Hill or really anything that would explain why they suddenly started liking each other in the span of twenty-four hours. "I'm not supposed to say. Girl code and all," she ended up saying instead of what was really on her mind.
"Well, then—" JJ dug into his vest pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper— "you're the perfect person to give this to." He outstretched the paper toward her.
Izzy furrowed her brows and plucked the paper from in between his fingers. "What is it?" she asked as she flipped it over.
JJ shrugged. "Something for Sarah from JB."
Izzy made a face. "Who do they think they are? Romeo and Juliet?"
"No, uh, Vlad and Val," JJ remarked, smirking slightly.
Izzy raised her brows as an unamused expression crossed her face. "Vlad and Val?"
JJ put his hands up in surrender and shook his head. "Their words, not mine," he claimed. "I trust you'll give it to her."
Izzy stared at the paper for a second more before she rolled her eyes at the whole ordeal then nodded. "Yeah, whatever," she sighed. Damn, she needed a drink . . . but the only drink Izzy would be having that night would be a Shirley Temple or another boring club soda.
"All right, well, farewell, Princess, it was a pleasure to dance with you," JJ expressed as he gave a dramatic bow and grabbed her hand in his. He brought her hand to his face and pressed his lips against the back of her hand.
Izzy screwed up her face in disgust and tore her hand out of his grasp. "What the fuck are you doing? Are you like on bath salts or something?" she asked as she stared at him in utter confusion.
A hearty laugh bubbled from his chest as he straightened his posture. He tried to contain his amusement by biting his lip. "What? I thought that's what the girls liked. You know like Romeo and Juliet style? That's what got Sarah swooning right? I assumed all girls ate that shit up," he said.
A blank expression crossed Izzy's face. Oh, so he was joking. Idiot. She shook her head at him and pursed her lips. "I don't know what girls you're referring to, but I can assure you I would never kill myself to be with a man I had known for five days," she muttered in a monotone voice.
JJ furrowed his brows. "That's what happened?"
Izzy shot him a look. "How did you pass ninth grade?"
JJ shrugged, and tugged a hand through his blond hair. "I don't know. I only looked over the SparkNotes."
Izzy narrowed her eyes at him. "And you still missed the part where they both died?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I said I read the SparkNotes. I didn't say how well," JJ defended himself and put his hands up in surrender.
"Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me," Izzy remarked, pursing her lips.
The corners of JJ's lips twitched. "Thank you."
Izzy shook her head. "Not a compliment."
JJ did this laugh. "And with that, I say farewell, my fair lady," he said, and gave another dramatic bow.
Izzy kept shaking her head at him, but a smile still claimed her face. "Jesus, you're going to get yourself fired."
"It'd be worth it," JJ said softly, and winked at her. He gave her a two-finger salute then turned around, disappearing into the valley of the dolls. He seemed to be the only warm body made of flesh and bone, and that oddly made Izzy feel not so alone.
A sigh escaped Izzy when she could no longer see his blond hair, and then the twine was back, tightening around her heart. She wished it would just fuck off. But it persisted. So, she tried her best to ignore it and instead focused on finding Sarah. She searched through the sea of plastic people and their facades until she spotted Sarah dancing with her younger sister, Wheezie. Izzy slowly made her way over to her and tapped her on the shoulder to grasp her attention.
Sarah glanced over her shoulder, and then a wide smile consumed her face. "Hey, Iz," she exclaimed, turning around to face the girl. She draped her arms over Izzy's shoulders. "You promised me a dance, remember?"
Izzy smiled softly. She had missed being around Sarah. Sure, they had their troubles in the past, but (and whether she wanted to admit it or not) Sarah meant a lot to her. Maybe she did need her for more than just a person to fill the hole in her chest. She shook her head at her thoughts and cleared her throat. "Do you have a secret admirer?" she asked, her voice like silk.
Sarah furrowed her brows and straightened her posture. "What?"
Izzy shook her head slightly and handed the folded piece of paper to her friend. "It's from Vlad . . . I assume."
An even wider grin consumed Sarah's face as she plucked the paper from Izzy and opened it. As she read, the smile grew. She clutched the paper to her chest and glanced up to meet Izzy's awaiting gaze. "He wants me to meet him," she whispered so only Izzy could hear.
Izzy raised her brows. She hoped Sarah wasn't getting in over her head. Love didn't exist and Izzy didn't want Sarah to get hurt thinking it did. But she decided that night wasn't the night she'd break the news to her friend. "So go see him," she said. "I'll cover for you if your dad or anyone asks."
"Thanks, Iz," Sarah said softly. She kissed Izzy's cheek then took off to go find the boy that would probably break her heart or end up getting her killed. Izzy wasn't sure what'd she'd do if she had to go through another funeral . . . especially if it was Sarah's. Whatever. She didn't want to think about that so she just didn't.
For the next few minutes, Izzy stood there amongst the dolls, and pretty soon she began to feel her flesh turn back into plastic. She knew she wasn't the Barbie doll she pretended to be, but damn, sometimes, it sure felt like she was. She sighed at her thoughts and decided it was time for another club soda or maybe she'd mix it up and have a Shirley Temple. So she made her way to the porch and approached the doors, but before she could get any closer, the doors barged open.
Izzy stepped back in shock as some member of the security dragged JJ Maybank out of the building. What the fuck happened?
"Look, man, I can walk by myself," JJ exclaimed while trying to rip out of the security's hold. "I got legs. Can't you see that, brother? I really appreciate what you did there. Let me walk out by myself."
Izzy stepped in front of them. "What are you doing?" she asked. "My father won't be pleased if you throw out staff for no reason." She could totally have that guy fired.
JJ grinned at her words. "You hear that, man? Karma," he remarked, laughing slightly. "Gandhi would be having a field day."
The security guard only shoved JJ and pushed past Izzy, continuing to lead the Maybank boy off the premises. JJ struggled against his hold, and managed to escape his grasp for a second. He locked eyes on Mr. Dunleavy and pointed at him. "Oh, Mr. Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that's really nice of you. I'm actually gonna' down that," he said as he took the whiskey glass and tipped it to his lips, downing the entire drink.
"What the hell's the matter with him?" Mr. Dunleavy spat. Izzy rolled her eyes at his remark.
"I'm so sorry," the security guard muttered to the older man. He then latched onto JJ again and continued dragging him down the porch and onto the field.
"Whoo!" JJ hooted. He turned to look at the security guard. "I really appreciate the discretion, Daryl, you know?" He awaited a response, but the guard, Daryl, wasn't having it. "No? Okay." He turned his attention to the crowd and shot his hands in the air. "It's okay, everybody! Do not panic! Leave it to the men and women in uniform! Let's hear it for them!" He began clapping his hands together as Daryl led him across the yard, while all eyes quickly turned to the scene. Their attention only made JJ grin more. His eyes found Rose Cameron and he shoved a finger at her. "Rose! You look like Lady Liberty! It's good to see you again."
Rose looked around and slowly sipped from her champagne flute. Izzy couldn't help but laugh slightly at that. It seemed JJ must have heard her laugh, because he glanced over his shoulder and winked at her.
"Let go of him!" Kiara suddenly yelled, causing all eyes to fall on her. "You can't just boot him."
"Excuse me, ma'am?" the security guard scoffed.
Kiara set her jaw. "I invited him here," she spat, bitterly. "I'm a member of this club."
Izzy exhaled through her nose. "Listen, sir, if you do this, you might not have a job tomorrow," she said with a shrug.
Kiara glanced at her with a small smile on her face. Izzy returned the smile. But then Kiara's face hardened as if she had realized what she was doing and things were back to normal. Izzy attempted to walk over to her, but before she could, she saw JJ push the security guard, causing him to fall into a table.
JJ laughed slightly. "Sorry about that," he turned to glance at the people staring at him and found his friends. He grinned at them. "Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon's. Kie? Pope? You in?" He winked at them and started backing up to where John B stood, grinning at the boy. "Let's roll! Come on! Workers of the world unite! Throw off your chains!"
Laughter filled the air as Kiara bundled her dress in her hand and ran down the stairs toward the group of boys that awaited her. She ran into JJ's arms, gripping onto him as he spun her in a circle. Pope then tore off his apron and ran toward John B, slapping him on the back. And with that, the four teenagers took off, their laughter dancing through the air.
Izzy felt herself smile as she watched them disappear into the distance. Her father would not approve. He would absolutely despise JJ Maybank and his group of friends. That thought made the smile on Izzy's face widen.
a/n: izzy's so close to breaking out of the cookie cutter life. i can't wait until she realizes that's the main thing fucking her up. it's gonna be great. n e wayz, i love them. that's all. also peep kie & iz smiling at each other 🥺. their friendship is so pure. i promise it is. only two or maybe one more chapter until they're friends again.
also i'm putting this in every chapter that rafe is in: so i don't know who needs to hear this, but rafe IS a toxic person. he's a toxic person in the show and he's a toxic person in this fic. i wrote him like this because it's canon to the show. his and izzy's relationship should NOT be romanticized. i am not romanticizing them, and you shouldn't either. so please don't romanticize them. it's not cute. it's not romantic. it's wrong.
and as always, thanks for reading!