Cassandra's P.O.V
He just said he loved me...
It took me a long time to let it sink in. All I've ever wanted to hear is those three words and he finally confessed. To be honest when he hadn't try to take a next step, i started having second doubts but he finally did it.
It's almost made me forget about my fight with Hayley. On one side i wanted to kick her ass and her new boy but then Brian's words interfered again cutting my violent thoughts, no one had ever succeeded to crack my stubborn brain before not even my brother.
I loved hayley with all my heart and i never wanna see her suffering and I'm sure that's how she'll end up if she dated him. Though I've got to admit since she started going out with Jackson, she seemed happier and she told me how many sweet gifts he gave her and that he was attending the same college to become a lawyer. Maybe i was wrong... he has changed to a better man.
So here i was after two days standing in front hayley's house. To say i was nervous was an understatement. I stuck in my room the whole time trying to figure out what to say. I even practiced a speech which i forgot at the moment. I was ashamed of what i told her, i overreacted and acted like a bitch.
I held my breath as i heard the door knob twisting, hayley stood inside a mix of shock and relief on her face. We stayed quiet staring at each other. "Can i come in please" i mumbled breaking the akward silence as she nodded. I walked past her as she closed the door behind me. I sat down on the couch next to her, the akward tension settled again.
My legs were shaking anxiously as i chewed on my lips preparing my first statement. "Hayley..." i muttered to get her attention. She lifted but found it hard to make eye contact so i grabbed her chin fixing her eyes to me.
"I'm sorry for everything i did..." i began as her eyes widened clearly not expecting an apology. She opened her mouth to protest but i brushed my thumb against her lips to keep her quiet.
"I was a bit shocked since you know my problem with him. I was determinated to cut you out of my life but i knew i won't last a day without you. You're my sister hayley, i love you more than anything in this entire world and i just want you to be happy... even though i have doubts, i blindly trust you" she placed her hand above me a weak smile appearing on her face.
"And if you say he's changed then i believe you. Just know that whatever happens in the future, I'll support you in every desicion you make. If you're happy, I'll be happy too and if you're sad I'll comfort you and kick his ass... please forgive me i need you" i pleaded with a strangled voice my eyes already burning up with tears.
"Oh my god cass... of course i forgive you... but I'm the one who should be apologizing i lied and-" she choked out but i cut her off pulling in a hug.
My hand sneeked to her shoulders pulling her closer as she buried her face into my neck. "I promise you no one will ever get in between us... i love you" she mumbled.
"I love you too" i pulled away smiling.
I texted my parents informing them i was staying at hayley's, so we could have a girls night. We did our nails, watched chick flicks and cry our hearts out, discussed the new gossips in town, did some karaoke just like old times. I'm not glad of our argument but i feel like it braught us closer together.
Next day, hayley invited jackson to have lunch with us so i can meet his new improved self. And she was speaking the truth he really has changed from a douchbag to a nice gentleman and that's all i needed to know that he will treat right. They also invited me to their trip to New york. They were going there for a few days to check their new college and i abviously agreed to show my support. Little did she know it was a selfish act.
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"Cassandra! Are you ready? We need to take some family pics before leaving" Ian called frustrated from downstairs. I told him I'll be down in a minute.
Usually I'd yell back at him or be late on purpose but tonight was an exception.It was Ian's new movie premiere and even though it's not his first big role he still gets nervous the day of the release. So i tent to reduce the teasing and not pressure him.
But my stupid hair remained a problem. No matter how much hairstyles i tried none fit to the dress. I was all suited and my make up on point, all i had to do was the hair. I huffed slamming the brush on the sink. I was too angry about it i didn't hear footsteps getting closer to my bathroom.
"Wow!" I jumped snapping my head toward mesmerised ian.
"I'm so sorry, i get how much this is important for you but my hair looks shit" i whined on verge to tears.
"No that's not it... look at you... you're so beautiful!" He smiled taking a step forward "aww my baby sister is all grown up!" He cooed wrapping his arms around me.
"Thank you Ian. But look at you, you're handsome and rocking that suit. Credit to the one who chose it!" i smirked as he chuckled.
"Yeah you do know my style dear sister... now let's see what can we do with that hair" he grabbed my shoulder turning me around to face the mirror. He listened carefully hand on his chin as i listed every hairstyle that failed.
"How about you tie it into a ponytail and curl the loose end?" He suggested as my eyes lightened up.
I did as he said tying it into a slick ponytail. I grabbed the curling iron but he stopped me and snatched it from my hand to do it himself. I glanced at myself one last time at the mirror satisfied by my appearance. Ian offered me his hand. I thanked his interlocking our arms as we headed to the stairs.
"Everyone please welcome our princess Cassandra..." Ian cheered as we took slowly one step at a time like true models. My mom was fully in tears, Amber was clapping her hands excitedly, dad was staring proudly at his children with sammy in his arms giggling loudly. We posed for a few photos before heading to the car.
Once we reached the building, i peeked putside the window to be met with bright flushes around us. I whined already getting bothered by the camera even though i was still in the car. The first ones to get out were ian, amber and sammy followed by me and my parents. I stuck closer to my dad in attempt to hide myself from the cameras.
We went ahead inside taking sammy as amber and ian posed for some picture and typical interviews. I tried to mingle and chat with the cast members ian intruduced me to in chicago. When they joined us later we settled down in our seats for the movie to began. It was epic, the storyline, special affect, the characters and Ian's acting was fantastic like usual.
After some more interviews, he went back to the car. We head back home to hand sammy to the babysitter before heading to the party the agency was throwing. The hall was as big as soccer field, it was decorated with red flowerd hanging from the ceiling, cool coloful lamps scattered across the hall and many classy tables covered with a white sheet. There was one long table extended along an entire wall that carried delicious sweets and drinks.
As soon as we stepped inside, ian was dragged by his coworkers alomg with amber. Mom amd dad sat eith me for a few minuted before ditching me to talk with some old friends. So i was left alone staring dumbfounded at the people laughing and dancing. Since i was alone i decided to grab my phone.
Me: Brian!
Me: pay attention to me I'm bored!
Brian: i thought you were excited about the movie?
Me: yeah and it was amazing but now I'm sitting at a lame party alone. Sooo humor me.
Brian: okay how about you send me your outfit?
Me: i sent you my dress and heels yesterday.
Brian: yeah but i wanna see you in the dress dumbass.🤦♂️
Me:
Brian: wow you look wonderful babe! I mean breathtaking! I almost choked on my muffin! Damn!🤧❤😍
Me: hahahaha thank you baby. What are you doing?
Brian: nothing I'm at the hotel. I was just talking to my mom and sister.
I scrunched my face in confusion, he told me he had no siblings...
Me: sister!? I didn't know you had one.
Brian: yes i do i told you when i first introduced myself. Why would i say i don't?
I could have sworn he told me he is a lonely child. I would have checked it myself but i always delete my chats when they get too much.
Me: okay then what's her name?
Brian: her name's aaliyah.
That name isn't common for me, so either my memorie mysteriously got erased or his sister suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Maybe i shouldn't delete our chats anymore...
Me: I'm sorry i probably didn't pay much attention when we first talked.
Brian: don't worry it's okay. So what do you wanna talk about?
Me: i got nothing... shit wait a second.
Brian: what is it?
Me: oh my god! There's this cute boy who's been staring at me the entire night and he came to talk to me.
Brian: cute!? what the fuck does he want!?
I smell jealousy...
Me: he asked me for a dance and i said yes.
Brian: yOu wHaT!?
Me: oohh brian he just held my hand... he's such a talented dancer.
Brian: are you serious right now!?
Me: ah that song is so romantic...
Me: ayye he just kissed me on the cheek!🥰
Brian: tell that bastard to take his hands and lips off you or I'll take the first flight there and punch him in the face!
Me: dude do you really think I'm texting you while dancing? I'm just kidding to see your reaction. Apparently i have a protective one!😂
Brian: fuck you!
Me: i love you too. So you really got jealous?
Brian: yeah you're mine...
This made my heart flatter. We exchanged i love you's, called each other baby and other nicknames but him claiming I'm his got me weak in the knees.
Brian: anyway if you're done teasing me how about you tell me your thoughts on that movie, if it's good i might watch it.
Me: it's amazing but i have more exciting news to share.
Brian: bring it.
Me: well you already know that i made up with hayley and her boyfriend.
Brian: yeah thanks to me.
Me: whatever... they're travelling next week to New York to check their collage and they invited me.
Brian: that's great cass. New York is an awsome city. I'm sure you'll have fun there.
Me: you don't get do you?🤦♀️
Brian: get what?
Me: i checked the tour dates and you'll be there during that time. Sooo we can finally meet and go on a normal date.
Brian: I'm not sure...
Me: why not? Don't you want to see me? I thought you loved me.
My heart sunk. I knew it that was only a thing on chat, he doesn't want a real relationship.
Brian: of course i do and i really want us to date... it's just I'm afraid you might not like me when you see me in person.
Me: don't be silly brian. We've been talking for over a month. I practically know everything about you and i love you despite your flaws, jokes, mocking, hair etc...
Brian: thanks for the sweet encouragement. When you get there we'll discuss when and where we'll meet.
Me: perfect! I'm so excited!
Shawn's P.O.V
I tried to come up with a believable excuse but i found nothing, i even tried to change her mind but that upset her even more doubting that i don't wanna have anything to do with her anymore. But in the contrary all i wanted to do was hold her in my arms and never let her go.
Each day was getting harder than the last, horribles thoughts kept me awake during nights, i barely talked to her, i couldn't focus anymore during rehearsals and shows, i guess the fan noticed i was less energetic and less joyful on stage lately.
The only thing running through my mind at the moment is how the fuck am i going to slowly reveal my hideous scheme gently without breaking her heart?
She should be on the plane right now. We still hadn't decided where we'll meet. I wanted somewhere private but if she got mad she'll lach out on me and murder me perhaps since there's no one around. I'm not exagerating... She's sweet and all but she can turn into a new person when she's angry. She once broke her brother's arm cause he shattered her first guitar.
And if we went to a public location, We'll be interrupted by fans and paparazzi who will lunch rumors about us. After a lot of digging, i told her to meet me tomorrow morning around 7 at central park. Not too crowded and it's impossible for her to go homicidal there.
I sat on the edge of the bed. My head hang low, my elbows resting on my knees as i glanced each second at my wirst watch. The time was ticking so damn slow... every minutes was torture. Even though i knew i was heading to a painful ending, i just wanted to get it over with.
I walked down the empty street pulling the hoody over my head to reduce the chances of being caught. I practically dragged my feets across the roads in the middle of the trees and bushes, not only because i was nervous it's due to my lack of sleep.
I spotted her around the corner talking to a little boy, apparently she was fixing his broken car. I smiled at her fondly, she really is wonderful with children. She gave him a kiss on the forhead before he ran back to the playground.
That's when i decided to make an apperance. I strutted slowly until i stood a few feets behind her. "Hey cassandra" i mumbled.
She immediately turned around a huge smile plastered on her face. That smile vanished when her eyes met mine."Shawn what are you doing here?" She asked furrowing her brows.
"I thought we were meeting here" i chewed on my bottom lip nervously playing dumb.
"Yeah i was meeting brian... did something bad happen to him?" She asked in worry but i shook my head.
"Brian is fine... umm we need to talk please" i breathed out pointing to an empty bench on her right. She hesitated for a few seconds but obliged.
I followed sitting next to her. "Listen shawn if brian doesn't want to talk to me anymore he can simply tell me. No need to get you involved" she mumbled in a broken tone. I titled my head towards her hearing her uneven breaths.
"Cass you don't get it... I'm the one who's been talking to you this whole time. I was just impersonating brian" i blurted out swallowing thickly.
She stared at me bewildered, obviously not believing a word. "Shawn that doesn't make any sense... i met brian backstage, i follow him on Instagram, i video chatted him once. That can't be all fake" she muttered her voice slightly quivering.
"Cass it's true i have a best friend named brian who you met backstage. I just used his social medias and about the video chat i was sitting in the same room to tell him exactly what to say but it was all me" i confessed nervously studying her reaction. She was odly calm. The tension between us got stronger.
"I don't belive you" she said sternly.
I huffed in frustration "i can prove it... you told me you had your first kiss with some guy named dani, on your tenth birthday you tripped and fell on your cake, you once used the man's bathroom by accident... you told me the only people who knows these stories are your family and me" i reasoned desperately. Her shoulders tensed up as she looked down quietly avoiding my intense gaze. "Say something..."
"Why?" She choked out.
"I liked you since the moment i laid eyes on you at the meet and greet. I wanted to get to know you. But i was afraid since you were a fan that you..." i stopped mid sentence realising there's no good way to end it.
"You were afraid of what!? That I'd take advantage of you!" She snapped pain flashing across her face. "That's why you were asking about me getting used by that bastard, you were trying to figure if i was capable of manipulating someone..." she gasped fisting her hands together anger building up inside her.
"I'm so sorry. You know how that feels. I've been hurt lots of time before. I was just being cautious..." i explained but got interrupted by a bitter laugh.
"Yes shawn i do know the feeling when you're being torn apart but even when i was careful with you i never pretended to be someone I'm not... what also have you lied about?" She asked raising her eybrows.
"Nothing, I've been honest about everything i told you. My feelings were true. I love you and i know you do too" i replied sincerly putting my hand on her tighs.
She pushed it away sending me a cold dead glance but i can see behind all that the anger and disappointment a slight hope and the love she owns for us. "I'm in love with brian not you..." she stood up walking a few steps ahead.
"We're the same person cass!" i whined.
She lifted her head staring up the sky. She crossed her arms over her chest rubbing her sides with her hands to soothe herself. That's the situation i was trying to avoid. She's hurting and it's all because of me. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I placed my hand on her shoulder. She didn't flinch but i heard a few sobs escaping her mouth.
"You know shawn, i always admired you... admired your honesty and audacity. I looked up to you, the way you insisited that honesty is the only way to someone's heart, that you should be yourself no matter what other thinks. You told us there's no way to assume what's in people's heart before you talk to them or was that just a lie? I can't believe i ever supported you" she panted a tear sliding down her cheek.
Her words felt like a knife stabbing me over and over. She couldn't make me feel more ashamed than i already do. I hated myself. If i could go back before this all started and prevent my mistake i honestly would.
"I'm so sorry. You can't imagine how terrible i feel. I just wanna fix this please cass" i pleaded on verge to tears as well. "You make me the happiest person on earth, please don't end this over a stupid mistake" i pursed my lips moving my hands to her cheeks.
"If you were the one talking to me then you know that the one thing i can't forgive is lying" she whispered shaking her head as she removed my hand. "I need to go" she turned around to leave but i grabbed her arm pullimg her back.
"Wait cass i want you to have this!" I said handing her a tiny piece of paper. I knew that she won't handle an argument after finding out the truth so i had kind of a backup plan cause she act impulsively reckless when receiving bad news. "That's my real number and address of my apartment in Toronto in case you go there..." i explained my thumbs brushing against her soft skin.
"Aren't you afraid I'm gonna leak them to everyone?" She questioned seriously withdrawing her arm away from mine.
"No I'm not cause i trust you Cassandra. I want you to take your time and think about what we have. What i did was wrong but i love you and I'll be waiting for you no matter how long it takes. Just call me and I'll be there for you" i said sending her a weak smile. Her words spat her hate but her eyes said the opposite.
"Don't hold you breath" she spat out before walking away. I stood there alone hands in my pocket. I couldn't take my eyes off her... cause this might be the last time i see her. It took me all the power i had to stop myself from crying.
No it's not over. She just needs time to process everything and figure out her true feelings. I remember her fight with her best friend, she came to me furious and wanted to end it all for good. Then after a couple of days she immediately changed her mind and made up with her. Maybe she's shocked that's why she bursted out on me.
I'll give her some space and even if she doesn't contact me, I'll go in person to her house to apologize again and again. I won't let her slip out of my hands specially now that I'm sure she loves me back.
Everything will be okay i kept reminding myself.
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