If only he hadn't.
----
With each class period that passed, the dread Kihyun had felt earlier that morning gradually disappeared from his mind, despite being so stomach churning that at first he felt nothing but sick. The sensation was definitely still there, though, sitting in his chest, waiting patiently for attention, yet he managed to keep himself distracted with thoughts of his school work and the drama his friends insisted on filling him in on--and by friends he meant Minhyuk.
"And then he totally just died!"
The hamster glanced down to his lap where Minhyuk laid, using his right thigh as a pillow. He never understood why his friends thought his thighs were so comfortable, but that didn't stop him from allowing them to lay on him during the periods that they spent outside, chatting about random crap. It wasn't like he minded, honestly; the act just reminded him that he was a good enough friend to be close to, both physically and emotionally. "Really? He just died?" he asked incredulously, sweeping his friend's silky blonde hair out of his eyes.
"Yeah, totally! There was blood and everything!"
"Min," Hyungwon piped up from Kihyun's left thigh, turning his attention away from the bright blue sky that he had been quietly studying. His eyes were like pools of emotion, and as the pink-haired male gazed at him, waiting for his next words, it seemed that almost every cloud that happened to float overhead reflected within his dark irises. It was as if, inside his mind, he already possessed a delicate world of his own. "That's not why Mr Min is gone today. He has a meeting outside of town; he told us this yesterday."
"That doesn't mean he didn't die on the way."
Letting out a deep laugh, Changkyun pushed himself away from the tree trunk he had been leaning against and sat himself down in front of Kihyun, between the two lying down. He ran his fingers through the grass, eyeing it only momentarily, before looking up towards his friend. "Who's your closest friend?" The question was sudden and way off the topic of Mr Min being carried away by a pack of evil gnomes, but it seemed he didn't care as he just stared at the pinkette, waiting for an answer.
"Uh, me! Duh!"
Kihyun teasingly pushed at Minhyuk's head. "Shush, Minhyuk." He booped his friend's nose, it scrunching up in response. "You're right, though." His attention turned away from the male on his lap--who was looking oh so smug--and instead focused on the one he desperately wanted to be able to feel nothing romantic towards.
Honestly, he didn't understand why the male had to zone in on him when there were other fun people to talk to just lying around--literally. He wished Changkyun would focus on someone else, something else, anything, but in that moment, he was looking solely at Kihyun.
The pinkette had no other choice but to act as if he were fine.
"He is my closest friend. Hyungwon and Hoseok are also very close to me, but Minhyuk is just... No one could ever replace him." He sent a gentle smile his best friend's way before peering up at the bright blue sky above. It was a beautiful sky, almost as beautiful as the one he had seen yesterday, but there was just something about it that had him smiling wistfully.
"Hey, uhm, Kihyun?"
The male's attention was torn away from whatever it was that had him so focused as Minhyuk's voice suddenly rang in his ears. He looked down, and the unexpected sadness and disappointment held within his friend's hazelnut eyes left him in a state of shock. Hadn't the younger been happy only minutes, even seconds, before?
"What is it?"
"I just... figured something out. Can we talk in private?" Minhyuk tried to fake a smile as he asked this, sliding his cellphone back into the pocket of his hoodie.
Kihyun's eyebrows pulled together; he was obviously concerned. What could have been wrong? "Yeah, of course we can." He steadily nodded to his friend, though he wouldn't deny that the worry seeping further and further into his thoughts had him almost trembling as he removed Hyungwon's head from his lap and stood up.
Minhyuk took hold of his hand and hurriedly pulled him away from the others; the older male had to jog just to keep up.
"Minhyuk, what is it? What's wrong?"
The aforementioned male quickly looked around, his face nothing but distraught as he made sure no one was close enough to hear them. He accidentally made eye-contact with his friends, who were still sitting by their regular tree, eyeing the two with a mix of worry and confusion. He knew that they wanted to know what was going on, and because his trust for them was strong, he would have told them, but as of right now, this was something Kihyun and only Kihyun needed to know.
"You know how Jooheon was crying this morning?" the blonde reluctantly began, pulling both of Kihyun's shaking hands away from his sides so he could hold them, squeeze them, make them warm. He knew that what he was about to say would break his friend into a million pieces, but he had no other choice.
No matter how much the pinkette tried to hide it, Minhyuk knew what was hidden inside of his heart; he had known from the very first moment, so... there was no way he couldn't tell him. "He didn't want to tell me face to face because he was ashamed of himself, but he said he would text me and tell me why. I don't know why he trusted me so quickly, but I'm glad he did. He needs someone to lean on right now, and... well, he texted me and told me what happened."
Kihyun's eyes clouded over with yet another thick, misty layer of worry, the organ hidden within his chest suddenly throbbing. "A-and...?" There was no way he could have helped the uneasiness in his tone.
"Changkyun, he... uhm..." Minhyuk trailed off with a conflicted sigh, his grip on his friend's cold fingers tightening. He wasn't ready to see the precious boy before him break.
"Changkyun pretended to like him in order to get nudes out of him, and... after he got what he wanted, he completely discarded him. He never liked him in the first place, and well... Changkyun just... isn't who you think he is. He's... He's mean and he's deceptive, and he's willing to use others just for his own benefit. I don't want to cut him out completely without knowing his reasons, but for right now... Kihyun, I don't want you liking him anymore. Please, for me?" He tried to convey his pleading in the best way he could: standing there with his hands squeezing desperately, begging for him to please do as he was asked.
The moment Kihyun's eyes fogged up with heavy tears, Minhyuk's heart, the exact one the older unknowingly held, broke.
"W-why aren't you upset?" the other male began with a small yet bitter smile, fighting off the growing urge to cry. His eyes began to burn, as if they had been stuffed to the brim with red hot irons. He looked like he was in pain; he knew he did, but he still tried his hardest to pretend he wasn't. "Don't you like him? A-and I don't. If anyone should feel betrayed... it's you, right?" A laugh resounded in his throat, but the both of them knew there was nothing real, nothing genuine, about it. "Right?" His took his thumbs out of his friend's hands to do a 180 on their hold, so he could instead be the one to squeeze and offer support. "Right, Minhyuk? Right?" His words grew desperate as his grip continued to tighten. Why didn't he seem hurt? Why? "Right? Ri..." His voice, trembling as it was, caught in his throat before he could say much more, and finally, the warm tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, cascading down his cheeks, making beautiful rivers of pain. He immediately looked down towards the ground to hide the fact he was crying; he didn't want Minhyuk to know, he couldn't let him know. He had to be strong. "Right, Minhyuk? Right? Tell me I-I'm r-right..." The shoulders hidden beneath his white turtle neck shook with silent sobs, but still, he continued on, "Tell me I'm right..."
"Kihyun..."
Minhyuk instantly pulled his friend to his chest, holding his trembling frame in his arms. He wanted to calm him down, tell him it was all going to be okay, but the words he so greatly wanted to utter refused to come out. What could he do? What could he do...!? "I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have told you, but... you deserve to know." His eyes shone like sweet honey in the sunlight; the fact the sun could shine in a moment like this made him feel bittersweet. What gave the world the right to look so ethereal when the person he cared for most was suffering? It wasn't fair, not at all. "I'm sorry, really."
"Hey, Minhyuk..." The male's soft voice eventually broke through his chorus of quiet sobs. Why was he the one hurting? Why wasn't he the one being strong, like he should have been? Just why? Why him? Why Changkyun? "I think I w-want to go home."
Minhyuk's eyes fluttered shut as he reached up to tread his fingers through the male's soft locks. Anything to make the person most important to him feel better... "Alright, I'll tell the office you got sick and that your parents aren't able to come get you. I brought my car today, so I'll take you home; they'll let me, I'll make sure of it."
----
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Hyungwon. I didn't mean to leave so suddenly like that... Yes, I just got sick, I'm sorry... No, I was only crying because my stomach hurt so bad, I swear... Alright, alright, talk to you later. Bye."
Kihyun let out a sigh of exhaustion as he leaned back against his pillow and slipped his cellphone beneath his thigh. Minhyuk had taken him back home--only after an hour of uninterrupted "reasoning" with their principal--and now they were both sitting on his thick mattress, looking stressed and worried.
"Do you feel a bit better?" the blonde inquired, still worried sick. He reached out and set a hand on his friend's thigh to offer comfort, but his frown only deepened when he noticed just how red and puffy Kihyun's eyes had become. They were always so delicate and alluring, yet in this moment, they were nothing but worn out.
He hated seeing his friend like this.
"Of course, I... I don't know what got into me. My feelings must have just built up--"
"Kihyun, I know you like him."
The older only froze, even his breathing halting. What...? "What do you mean?" A nervous smile pulled at his lips, and he tried to disguise the panic hidden within his irises by looking down. He had tried so hard to hide it for his friend's sake... Had he not tried hard enough? What else could he have done? "I mean, uhm--"
"Kihyun, stop. It's alright. I'm not mad." Sadness and exhaustion tugged the corners of Minhyuk's mouth upward in an effort to hide his negative feelings away, but there was no hiding it, not this time. "Don't worry about it."
The older's expression fell flat. He anxiously eyed his lap, where his hands reached out to clench onto each other so they didn't fiddle and give themselves away. "I... How did you know? I mean, I know you like him, I'm so... Minhyuk, I'm sorry. You know I'd never--"
"Kihyun." Minhyuk found his fragile heart cracking even further, yet not giving up on his desperate need to keep his pain hidden, he didn't let it show through. The only things that would have signaled just how much hurt he was enduring were his eyes, but luckily for him, his eyes weren't the focus of attention: Kihyun's shaking hands were. His grip on the male's leg tightened before he forced himself to smile. "I like you."
----
I feel like I've gotten worse at expressing character's emotions and-
It's really getting to me 😅
-Author 🖤