I screeched to a stop outside Pressure, parked in the taxi rank but I couldn’t have cared less about getting a ticket.
I could see Kelly and Ollie standing at the corner of the club but no Taylor, and I pushed my way through the crowd of drunk club-goers towards them.
‘Where is h-’ I started, but stopped short when I saw Taylor slumped on the ground, eyes rolling back in his head, which was being held upright by Ollie’s new boyfriend, Mikey. ‘Jesus Christ,’ I muttered, horrified, and knelt down to his level. Mikey moved away and I unconsciously took his place beside Taylor. I caught his face in my hands and his eyes focussed on me. Taylor smiled dumbly and tried to reach out to me but his hands flopped back down on his lap; he had no control over his limbs anymore. I rubbed my thumbs softly over his cheekbones and he smiled again, nuzzling my palm with his face.
I looked up at the others. ‘Should we take him to hospital?’ I asked. I was the only sober one there, but I was just as confused as the others.
Ollie shook his head. ‘There’s nothing they can do for him but keep him under observation until the effects wear off. He’d be more comfortable at home.’
I swallowed and nodded, turning back to Taylor. I slipped one arm around his back and the other under his knees, lifting him so I was carrying him bridal-style.
‘You guys get in the back,’ I said, leading the way to the car. ‘I’ll put Taylor in the front so he has less room to fall over.’ I carefully placed Taylor in the passenger seat after Kelly opened the door for me, and she, Ollie, and Mikey climbed into the back. I strapped Tay in and gave his hand a quick squeeze before running around to the driver’s side and getting in. Starting the car and pulling away from the kerb, I glanced in the rear-view. ‘You guys okay to stay the night at ours?’ I asked Ollie and Mikey, who both nodded wordlessly. They were in shock now that they could shrug off the blanket of responsibility, and I glanced at Taylor, not even wanting to think about what could have happened if they hadn’t been there.
I pulled into the driveway in record time, and sent Kelly and the boys in ahead of me to set up the spare room and move Jenny to the camp bed in Kelly’s room, since obviously Taylor would be staying with me.
I lifted him gently out of the passenger seat, and he wriggled in my arms.
‘I can walk,’ he muttered, trying to get me to put him down.
‘No you can’t, Tay,’ I answered, keeping a tight grip on him.
Taylor blinked a few times. ‘Jake?’
‘Yeah, it’s me. Don’t worry, you’re safe.’
‘Where’s... Where’s that guy?’ Taylor’s eyes widened and I could see panic in his eyes. ‘Where is he? He’ll come back for me, don’t let him take me, please don’t let him take me!’
I could feel tears of anger pricking in my eyes, and I was overwhelmed by the need to protect Taylor from anything that could hurt him.
‘It’s okay Tay, he’s not coming back for you,’ I said, sounding angry even though I hadn’t meant to. ‘I’m here, you’re safe, I won’t let him come anywhere near you.’ I pulled him further towards me and he buried his face in my neck; I could fell his tears, hot and wet, on my skin, and it made me angrier than ever at whatever asshole forced that pill down his throat.
I carried Taylor up the drive and into the house, and eventually laid him out on my bed, where he struggled to sit up. The others came into the room and stood at the doorway, scared and worried.
‘I’ll get him a glass of water,’ Ollie muttered, and he and Mikey left the room again. Kelly walked over and stood beside the bed, where I sat on the edge with my arm around Taylor’s back so he could sit up.
‘What the fuck was he doing in that club anyway?’ I asked, trying to control my temper; I didn’t want Kel to think I was mad at her when I wasn’t.
Kelly had stopped crying by now, but she was white as a sheet and I didn’t blame her. ‘What do you think he was doing?’ she asked.
‘But it’s a gay club,’ I answered, as Taylor’s head lolled sideways and landed on my shoulder, where he left it.
‘I know.’
I stayed silent for a few moments. ‘This is what you were talking about earlier,’ I said eventually, and it wasn’t a question. ‘When you were mad at me for being a dickhead, even if I didn’t realise it.’ Kelly didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to. I glanced down at Taylor, who had fallen asleep on my shoulder, and pressed my lips to the top of his head.
Taylor’s POV
When I woke up, I felt really disorientated. Oddly, I had no hangover, which was weird considering how much I’d had to drink the night before, but I couldn’t remember anything after Clarke’s. Did I not get in to Pressure? Did I drink so much that they wouldn’t let me in? Oh god, I’d probably done something really stupid and ruined everybody’s night...
I tried to sit up but my body felt way too heavy to be my own. I peered out from under the covers and realised that every time I blinked, the room took a few seconds to come back into focus. Was it the Absinthe Ollie had given me? What the fuck had happened?
I took a deep breath and tried to sit up again; nothing. I noticed, however, that a warm body was wrapped tightly around mine, and I panicked for a second, wondering if I’d brought someone home or even worse, gone home with them. What a stupid thing to do, I berated myself, what a horrible, stupid... I made one last ditch effort to sit up and, with a groan, managed to prop myself up so I wasn’t upright, exactly, but wasn’t horizontal anymore either.
The person who’d been spooning me sat up suddenly in the bed and I blinked hard a few times until the room stopped being blurry. I saw the back of a head I recognised, and nearly started crying with embarrassment. Whatever happened last night, Jake definitely knew I was gay if he’d had to collect me from Pressure after I got too drunk and made a tit of myself.
He turned around and relief washed over his face. I must have been in some state for relief to be his first emotion rather than anger or annoyance.
‘Oh thank god,’ he said, breathing out heavily. ‘You’re awake. Are you okay? Do you need anything?’
I swallowed. He didn’t seem upset or shocked. Was it possible I just came home with Kelly and she put me in here instead of in her own room? Might he not know about Pressure? I shook my head to clear it. ‘I’m okay,’ I answered carefully. ‘I don’t even have a headache, actually.’
Jake nodded. ‘Ollie said that would happen, it’s a side effect of the drug.’
Drug? What drug had I taken? ‘What.... Um, I don’t remember. What happened last night?’
Jake’s face took on an expression I didn’t recognise and he bit his lip. ‘You were at, um, Pressure, with Kelly and she left you on the dance floor when she went to the bathroom. Some guy forced you to swallow a pill, a...’ His face was full of sympathy. ‘A Rohypnol.’ I could feel myself starting to panic. ‘No, don’t worry!’ Jake added quickly. ‘Kelly saw it happen and she dragged you away from him, they took you outside and tried to make you sick but you couldn’t. They called me and I brought you home. Don’t worry, he didn’t... He didn’t...’ Jake trailed off, and I could see a spark of anger in his eyes even though I could tell he was trying to compose his face for my benefit. ‘Are you okay?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, I think I am.’
Jake was sitting to the right of me and kind of forward, so he had to turn his head more to look at me.
‘Um, Taylor?’ He looked down at the duvet for a second and then back at me. My tummy constricted in fear, I knew what was coming next. ‘Is there, like... Is there anything you want to tell me?’
I could feel my stomach in my throat and my eyes begin to prickle with humiliated tears.
‘I mean, about why you were at Pressure,’ Jake added, then lifted his gaze so he was looking me in the eye.
I swallowed again, horrified and angry with myself for having gotten myself into this situation. I took a deep breath, even though I still felt like crying, or jumping up and running out of the room. ‘I’m... Um. Jake. I’m gay...’
‘Okay. Cool. And, is there anything else?’
Now I was confused. Anything else like what?
‘It’s just, Kelly said – well she didn’t – didn’t say anything outright – she sort of implied something...’
Of course I knew what he meant as soon as he said that. All the relief I’d felt when he didn’t seem angry or freaked out at my first admission evaporated and I felt more embarrassed and humiliated than ever. I wanted to fold up into a tiny version of myself and disappear, I wanted to bury my head somewhere so I wouldn’t have to face this. I knew I couldn’t even be angry with Kelly; she was probably terrified last night on top of being really, really drunk, she probably didn’t even know what she was saying or who she was saying it to. I only felt angry with myself for being so weak as to fall in love with my straight best friend.
This time my eyes really did gloss over with tears of humiliation and I felt my face heat up and turn red. My eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at Jake’s face.
‘Taylor,’ Jake said. ‘Would you just look at me?’
I bit my lip in a effort to stop the tears from falling, and raised my eyes so I was looking at him. He looked nervous, but I suppose if you’re about to find out that the person you trust the most in the world has actually been lying to you for a good four years, you’d feel nervous too.
‘Taylor, just tell me the truth,’ Jake said, and his ice blue eyes locked on mine so I couldn’t look away again.
‘I think,’ I started, but stopped. My tummy was in my throat and I wanted to be anywhere else but here. ‘I know... I’m in love with you,’ I whispered, still unable to look away, even though his sure to be horrified and angry reaction was the last thing I wanted to look at.
Jake let out a huge sigh and suddenly smiled, though he still seemed nervous. ‘I was hoping it was true,’ he said softly, and I finally looked away. What did that mean? Did he want to blackmail me or something? Add my name to what was already a substantial list of people who were in love with him? What?
I glanced up at him again, keeping my head down, and saw that he was still looking at me. He was grinning.
Jake leaned forward and put his hand to my face, caressing it softly.
‘C’mere,’ he said, grinning, and pulled my face towards his.
His lips crashed against mine as the hand on my face moved across my cheek and around to the back of my neck, where he rested it gently. My hands suddenly had minds of their own, and while my brain was exploding with confusion, euphoria, and pleasure, they reached forward and tangle into his hair. Seeing as I was still leaning against the headboard at a 45° angle, Jake was leaning over me; suddenly he bit my lip softly and I opened my mouth to let him in, causing him to lean forward and shift his body so he was hovering over me. His tongue massaged mine and tickled the top of my mouth, and I moaned, letting my hands play with his hair.
He pulled back suddenly and my eyes snapped open.
‘I like that sound,’ he murmured, moving his face so it was in my neck. ‘Let’s see if we can make it again.’ He started kissing my neck softly, his lips cool on my skin even though we’d just been kissing passionately. He kissed in various places until I felt myself gasp; he smiled into my skin and said, ‘Bingo,’ and started nibbling and sucking on my soft spot. I moaned again and grabbed his hips, pulling them down so he was straddling me.
‘Jake,’ I moaned, sliding my hands inside his t-shirt to feel the soft skin of his tummy even as I intended to try and get him to stop. ‘Jake, stop,’ I said finally, and he pulled away.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, sitting back and pulling my hands away from him by the wrists, but only so he could link his fingers through mine.
‘Why are you doing this?’ I asked quietly, scared to look at him in case he laughed at me.
Jake frowned. ‘Do I really need to explain it to you?’
‘Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not a joke for me.’ I chanced looking at him, and I saw he was staring at me.
‘It’s not a joke for me wither,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Is that really what you think of me?’
‘No!’ I said hurriedly. ‘No, of course not. It’s just... Well, you’re straight. Aren’t you?’
‘I’m clearly not.’ He squeezed my fingers.
‘But... What about Jenny?’
He looked embarrassed. ‘There was always a really good reason to not break up with her. And I thought you were straight anyway, I didn’t think there was anything to rush for, when she always just seems to... Needme so much.’
I could feel my heart starting to swell with hope, but I pushed it back. It was all too good to be true.
‘What about now?’
Jake shrugged. ‘I’ll tell her. But she’s moving away on Wednesday anyway.’
I bit my lip. ‘So...’
Jake looked confused. ‘So?’
‘So what does this mean?’ I asked in a small voice, still scared of the answer.
‘It means, you idiot,’ Jake said, leaning forward and grinning, ‘that I love you too. I thought that was obvious.’
‘Well it wasn’t,’ I teased him back. ‘Maybe you should do a better job of showing me.’
‘Huh!’ Jake pretended to be insulted. ‘Well maybe I will!’
‘Well maybe you should!’
‘Well maybe you should just shut up talking and kiss me already!’
‘Well maybe you should-’
I was cut off by Jake’s lips descending on mine again and I gasped; now that I wasn’t distracted by a thousand confusing questions I could concentrate on how soft and velvet his lips felt on mine, how cool they were, how our lips moved in sync with each other while Jake’s hands wandered down to the hem of my t-shirt and he slipped his hands underneath, caressing my stomach and rubbing his thumbs across the waist band of my boxers, sending shivers down my spine.
I couldn’t take how softly he was touching me, like he was barely even there, and I flipped us over so I was on top, straddling him.
Jake opened his eyes, confused; then he grinned. ‘You’re stronger than you look,’ he teased, his eyes sparkling.
‘Here,’ I said, ‘shut up. I’m busy.’ And I attacked his lips hungrily, in charge this time, massaging his tongue with mine. I slipped my hands under his t-shirt again but this time I tugged it upwards and broke our kiss for a second to pull it off over his head. I expected another flippant remark, but Jake just struggled out of his shirt and grabbed my face back to his, tangling his hands in my hair.
‘Taylor,’ he groaned, as I broke away again and started kissing his jawbone and down his neck, looking for his soft spot. ‘What are you doing to me?’ and I knew I’d found it when he gasped and I could feel a new bulge against my thigh... Which only served to increase my own. I shifted so our erections were touching through the fabric of my jeans and his sweatpants, and started to grind gently, still sucking and nibbling on his soft spot. I roamed my hands over the muscles on his chest, and Jake moved his hands from my hair and brought them down to my hips, pulling me closer in frustration. His hips bucked slightly towards me and he dug his fingers into my skin, his neck arching even more. I pulled away from his neck and he attacked mine, licking from my collarbone to my jawbone and causing me to moan low and long. He started sucking on my soft spot and his hands roamed down my back to the waistband of my jeans where they lingered a few moment before he slipped his hands around and started opening the button. He caught my lips with his as he went to open the zipper, but my brain kicked into gear at last and I pulled away from him, even sliding off his abdomen so I was sitting beside him on the bed.
Jake sat up and looked at me, bewildered. His hair was a mess and his eyes were dark with desire. ‘What...?’
I pulled up my zipper and closed the button on my jeans again. ‘I’m not gonna do that,’ I said quietly.
‘Oh. Um, okay, I understand...’
I looked up at Jake and saw from his expression that he was embarrassed and hurt.
I smiled at him. ‘You obviously don’t,’ I said. ‘Jake, you don’t believe in sex before marriage, you’ll regret it if we do anything...’
Realisation cleared Jake’s face. ‘Taylor, how simple can you get?’ he asked, but he was smiling too. ‘I said that because I didn’t want to have sex with Jenny. You know, because I was in love with you? I have no problem with sex before marriage.’
This time it was my turn for dawning realisation, and I blushed.
‘But you’re right,’ Jake said, catching my hand and tugging me so I was laying against him with my head on his chest. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders. ‘We should wait. You haven’t even asked me out yet.’
I sat up and scoffed. ‘Me? You mean you haven’t asked me out yet.’
‘No,’ Jake said, pulling me back down to my original position. ‘You should ask me.’
‘No,’ I said, remembering something. ‘You should break up with your girlfriend, and then ask me.’
Jake was silent for a second. ‘Fair point, well made. You win.’
I snuggled into his chest happily, allowing my arm to drape across his waist and play with the hem of his t-shirt. I was about to be bad and start feeling him up again when the door opened and Kelly stuck her head around.
‘Am I interrupting anything?’ she asked, and I realised she had her eyes closed.
‘Yes,’ Jake answered, but Kelly suddenly fell into the room as Ollie and Mikey pushed at her to open the door.
‘I wanna see,’ Mikey said impatiently, as Ollie stumbled over Kelly.
I pulled away from Jake and stood up, biting my lip.
‘Guys,’ I started, as Ollie helped Kelly back onto her feet. ‘I am so sorry about last night-’ but I didn’t get any further, because as soon as Kelly was upright she rushed at me and wrapped her arms around me in a fierce hug, so we both fell backwards onto the bed, across Jake’s legs.
‘Don’t you dare apologise,’ she said fiercely, still hugging me tightly. ‘God I am so glad you’re okay. I was so scared. We told your sister about that guy. She’s gonna tear him a new one. Never dance with strange boys again, only dance with Jake now.’
I laughed softly. ‘Not gonna be a problem,’ I whispered, and she jumped back suddenly, scrambling back to her feet. I sat up on the bed, grinning.
‘Do you mean-? Did you guys-? Are you-?’
We both nodded and Jake slipped his hand into mine, entwining our fingers.
Kelly squealed, jumping up and down. ‘I knew it! I knew you were in love with him too!’ she said to her sheepish looking twin, and she leaned down and hugged him too.
‘Yeah, yeah,’ Jake muttered, but hugged her back. When she pulled back he got out of bed and pulled me up with him. ‘Breakfast,’ he said decidedly. ‘You need to eat something.’
I thought, there is something I would like to be eating, but I didn’t say it out loud.
‘Wait a minute,’ I said, tugging my hand out of his. He turned to look at me in confusion, but I glanced at the others. ‘Where’s Jenny?’ Back to Jake. ‘Should I stay here while you tell her?’
‘Hide here you mean? No way.’
‘She’s downstairs,’ Kelly answered my previous question, biting her lip. ‘She’s not a happy bunny...’
My eyes widened. ‘Does she already know?’
‘Not about you guys, you know, hooking up or whatever. But she’s upset that Jake kicked her out last night in favour of you, so I’m willing to bet she won’t be best pleased when he picks you over her, like, full time.’
I groaned, but Jake took my hand again. ‘Come on,’ he said indifferently. ‘It’ll be grand.’ And he pulled me out of the room, followed by Kelly, Ollie, and Mikey, who had free tickets to the show.