Oh my goodness! Don't I look totally hot and valuable. Staring in the mirror at my reflection, I looked at my silky little black number and my stunning hair that fell perfectly in waves down my back.
Taking in a deep breath and swaying my dress from side to side, I eyed my body closely from bottom to top. Black heels, brown legs and different hair seems like the right way to go even if it didn't feel quite like me.
Usually my hair were up in a high ponytail but after being at the hairsalon for three hours, I stared at a reflection I didn't recognize but at the same time it felt good to see some change. Eyeing my hair strictly I now looked at a grown girl with black and blonde highlights and my hair were cut just underneath my armpits. Felt oddly uncomfortable to not have long hair anymore that hung down to the waist.
My hands were neatly pedicured, something I have never done before and my heart took some sort of a leap. Firstly, I had to beg my mother for a change and a little later she agreed by first asking my father's permission and secondly she was not fond of the look just as much as I was. Don't get me wrong . . . she loved the hair and the nails but my clothing looked like I was working a night time job on the corners. That remark reminded me of something. The girls in my school.
They would make this look work without having confidence but since I live in a shell, I seem to not belong here at all. Not even in this sassy shop where you don't have to be embarrassed to purchase five different lingerie sets that makes even my mother turn like a cherry tomato. My mother did ask me why the sudden change because she barely recognizes me, so I opened up to her just to the point where I told her I have to teach someone a lesson. She seemed worried but her last remark made me think before we continued on the road home.
“Sweetie, you look great but I hope this is worth it and it doesn't blow up in your face.”
Laying in bed that night, thinking about my selfish act because all the reason I'm doing this is because to get a rise out of Masson and just to let some people, in particularly Zoe, know that nobody walks all over me. A lot of trouble just for that, right?
I stared at my small red light flickering on my phone before I grabbed it to just clear the notifications otherwise that light will bother me continuously. Scrolling through the messages of Kat, obviously worried that I will do something stupid and that whole scene at the diner, she had reason to be worried. I mean . . . look at me. I look great and I feel great but not in the way I wanted to feel. To be honest . . . I changed into a slut. I look like one of the girls Masson usually sleeps with or just binge on the couch while he grabs the side of my ass.
Even though I did sleep with him three years ago . . . this was not the sort of reputation I would want. Realizing only now . . . maybe people will spread rumours that I only changed my look so Masson would notice me again. Well . . . looking like a slut, being told I should change by a slut and mostly these rumours will be spread by sluts of our school . . . so which one is worse because to me all of this is horrible and terrible.
Feeling already nauseous and a little sick I saw that Masson left four missed calls and one message.
“Carson, if you change one hair on your body you better not come to school tomorrow. You know what I'm capable of.”
You know, I felt bad but this was exactly the push I needed to get a little confidence to pull off this look. Didn't think I had the guts but this just did it. All thanks to sweet, innocent Masson. I simply replied back …
“Is that a threat? Bring it on babe!”
I muted the notifications and threw my phone on the night stand. The moonlight was bouncing from my face to the wall and a sly smile formed on my face. Someone in the corner of my room would've thought this was creepy as shit. He just keeps pushing me to the edge. Now I have enough confidence in me to wear my sexy little black number. School tomorrow will be entirely different.
“Oh Masson … I already got a small rise out of you. You won't know what hit you.” saying that in a whisper placed a huge smile on my face and I felt a tinge of excitement for school tomorrow. Thinking about what Masson will actually do if he sees me like this, I turned around in my bed, stared at the moonlight on the wall and waited for sleep to overtake me. Only took a few minutes before the excitement took over my whole body and I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.
X x x
The next morning my parents were having breakfast at the dining room table and when they saw me . . . let's just say that it seems they came in contact with a ghost. I descended the stairs super carefully because when I just wanted to take them two at a time, I almost broke my neck by tumbling to the side and grabbing on for dear life.
These high heels seemed so easy but you need special skills to actually pull it off. How women at our school walk with these … only they will know. I pulled my dress a little bit down because I felt so uncomfortable not having my tights embrace my legs. It was extra cold this morning. This dress was just basic material and my private parts felt like ice cubes but if I put on a jacket then it will ruin the sexy vibrant look.
Staring at my parents reaction, I gave them a slight twirl of my dress. Almost tumbling over once again, my dad almost threw the chair over in a hurry to try and catch me if I fell backwards.
“I'm fine . . . I'm fine.” I said in an exhausted tone while brushing the hairs out of my face.
“How do I look?” placing my arms on my hips, my dad rose from his seat and gave me a pointed look.
“Honey, I don't even want to know. I'll be in the garage before we all leave.” he gave my mother a petrified look and continued onwards through the kitchen but he stopped suddenly and turned around with his one eyebrow raised.
“Please just tell me that you are wearing something under that dress?”
My lips turned into a huge relieved smile and I lifted my dress a little, enough for him to see my black ski runner's pants showing through.
“Good, well … good.” he said in a satisfied tone and tapped the side of the wall before disappearing through the kitchen door. I stared at the place where he stood and his body was replaced with streams of sunlight that came through the window. Staring at the sunlight because I was dreading to look at my mother, she cleared her throat.
“Baby … you look beautiful but who will buy this look when you can't even walk properly with those shoes.” my gut was dropping but then I saw her face lit up.
“Well … your mother doesn't own a lot of high heels for nothing now, does she?” she gave me a reassuring smile and lifted herself off her seat. She signalled for me to wait one second while she ran up the stairs to go and grab some pair of heels.
I cringed a bit at how excited she got but she was only happy to spend time with me and teach me actually something she's good at and I'm not.
Being good at jogging, being good at lifting weights, being good to be in the present moment and not live on my phone, I didn't mind not being good at wearing high heels. Those high heels always make me think of Audrey. I don't know exactly why but I hate high heels and just by wearing them today and maybe a few days after this, is killing me softly and slowly.
My mother never was the health type but since it is in my mothers gene to not get fat, I think I take after her. She was more of the good at cooking, good at her job, good at doing three things on one time type of person.
No … I'm unfortunately not that gifted but I admired that about her. She raised me by teaching me that women can do and be anything if you put your mind to it. That is why I also have a bit of courage to pull today off because I put my mind to it and I didn't go through this make over for nothing. In the end it has to be worth something.
She strutted around the room with a beautiful catwalk pose down the hallway so I just followed along. After about eleven mishaps, I finally found my feet in these shoes. Just don't look down and walk with pride and power as if you own the land you walk on with these shoes. That statement made sense to me so after my mother applauded me I gave her one huge hug but not before one of the shoes slipped out from under me. She caught me just in time before I fell to the floor.
She made me a healthy breakfast, some orange juice to go with it and explained to me in every detail how this day can blow up in my face. I was drinking my orange juice and hung onto every word that came out of her mouth like I was busy watching a serious drama romance that I couldn't turn off.
Her words did scare me such as I would fall down the stairs and end up dead, they can expel me for wearing to little clothes or perhaps that boys would ask me how much I would charge them an hour. That last remark made me choke on my strawberries.
“Mom … I don't think boys will ask me such questions and dad taught me well.” she gave me a confused look. “He taught me well to shove them in the balls.” I said happily and she joined in my laughter as we continued the morning in perfect harmony.
Before we all left to go on with our separate life’s … I walked to my parents bedroom to give myself one last check before I leave this house and go out into the wild. Wild by meaning that I have no idea what Masson will be up to when he sees me. I brushed my hair over the side where my fringe is and I puffed up my hair for more volume. Now taking in the blonde early in the morning made me stare at my reflection more. It flowed in perfect sync with the black and the curls at least still stayed in.
Not wearing any jewellery, I pulled my dress so that it was sitting tight in all the right places. On the sides of the dress there were open pieces where my abs were visible and believe me … my abs were visible. It was closed in the middle down my stomach but open on the sides and that is why I was freezing my ass off.
This dress was so beautiful that I even consider to wear it to special occasions like birthday parties or weddings. After having a final check on my slutty thin body … I grabbed my phone and my bag and carefully walked down the stairs. I walked up and down the stairs to just get the hang of it because I don't want to make a fool of myself when I have to use the stairs at school.
Checking the time on my phone I saw that Masson left another message.
“Your choice beautiful.”
Shaking my head at his text I threw the phone in my bag and walked out the front door. Same old quote, same old Masson. He can do what he wants but I can't. Clearly he has no idea how this work.
“And that smile? You have an admirer?” my mother said slightly under her breath, just low enough so my dad won't hear.
“No mom … just know that I'm nervous and excited on the same time. Wish me luck.”
I walked over to my moms car and unlocked it but before I got in I saw the paper boy eyeing me up and down when he passed our house.
“Carson … please don't start a fight before you even got to school. Save it for the people that deserves it.” I mumbled to myself and quickly shifted into the driver's seat.
He was still looking at me like a bowl of dessert but luckily he was lurking away around the corner now. He spared me to throw him with one of my heels.
I pulled out of the driveway and cruised onwards to school where it was such a beautiful morning, I should've walked but not in these heels. Also, I don't want half the world passing in the street to eye me like a Christmas candy cane before I even got to first period and it was not for the whole world . . . my look is only to get a rise out of the bitches that got under my skin and one of them being Masson.
The school grounds were busy as usual and I pulled into a parking, far from everyone else. I first have to pull myself together and focus on my breathing which have become very unsteady at the moment. My eyes fell on two figures in the distance and I saw Masson hanging on Zoe as they approached the school doors where Kat and Matt stood, waiting patiently for the bell to ring. I glared at his arm that was hanging so lovely around her.
That does it. My face flustered up and on this very moment I wasn't cold anymore. I was just angry as fuck. Checking my make up in the rear view mirror one last time, I grabbed my bag and exited the car. Nobody noticed me yet but feeling the wind in my hair and the cool breeze up my naked legs, I locked the car and walked over the grounds.
Casually walking over the parking lot I saw a few people eyeing me. That would've been normal because who doesn't look at someone walking over a parking lot but that was not the weird part. The weird part was that they had to take a double to see who this new student was and when they noticed that it was just same old Carson … they smiled and started talking more to each other in low whispers while checking me out.
These high heels was doing the trick. I walked over the parking lot as if I owned it and even smiled to the people that gave me satisfied nods as I passed them.
Even some of the football guys winked at me and believe me … I did feel a litte self-conscious. I felt really great when I passed all the bitches of our school that were always standing with the jocks and the biker boys. They could've killed me when the attention weren't focused on them at the moment. One guy even spilled his drink on Susan Fletcher as I passed them. In my bitchy attitude, I scanned their bodies and gave them a very constipated look. Even all the emo dudes stared at me and they never looked up from their crowd. I felt like Bella when she was first seen with Edward in the parking lot, walking into the school together. The difference is that I was all alone without an Edward. People gawked at me very unattractively.
I was beginning to love this attitude of mine already. Flawlessly walking over the parking lot I sang that song in my head from Beyonce . . . bow down bitches . . . bow . . . bow down bitches. As I almost approached Kat and Matt, the football team started whistling at me. Of course I would've snapped but then Kat's eyes fell on my look. Her eyes grew wider and her mouth almost hung on the floor.
“Oh. My. God!” she said with a wicked smile on her face and then everybody else followed her gaze. Zoe had an excited look on her face and applauded her hands softly against each other while Matt gave me a wink. Masson on the other hand … he took a double with his head and he was in robot mode where he kept staring at my figure up and down.
Matt, Kat and Zoe walked over to me while Masson was rooted to the spot.
“Girl you look so hot! I was worried but now taking this all in … I was worried for nothing.” Kat touched the hem of my dress while Zoe brushed her fingertips through my hair.
“So gorg!” Zoe said in a squeaky high voice.
“Well it's all thanks to you Zoe. I took your advice and decided to better my look.” that was totally a lie but who has to know, right? Kat squinted her eyes at my remark but I ignored her. More or less my tone was sarcastic but Zoe didn't seem to notice. Kat and Matt on the other hand noticed it and gave each other knowing looks.
Matt didn't comment at all because he kept looking back at Masson who seems to have become numb.
“No wonder all the boys are behaving like animals. They are so checking you out.” I took in the view around us and yeah … they definitely were checking me out. Never in my life have I gotten this much attention before but I kind of liked it. More the expression Masson had on his face.
Matt whispered something to Kat and then he left, walking right past Masson because he saw his friend was bursting with anger and this only added to my amazing mood.
Kat paced over to my side and linked our arms together and that is when Masson slowly walked over to us when he heard the word party. Zoe asked me if I had a date to go with to Masson's going away party and I told her no, not yet. Just because I forgot his party was tonight.
“Don't worry. If you keep looking like this you can get anyone to go with you.” Zoe reassured me and she started looking around frantically to see if she can organize me a date. Masson joined us and he stood a few inches away from me.
“Carson.” he said shortly.
“Masson.” I returned in the same gesture.
“Masson, doesn't Carson look hot?” Kat asked him. Zoe wasn't paying much attention. She was too busy finding me a date. Probably scared I will take Masson away.
He tilted his head to the side and eyed me up and down in stages. My face, my abs, my legs and my shoes and then back up again.
“Hot is not the word I will use.” he said casually.
“Beautiful?” Kat was pushing it but I was curious to know what he was going to say.
“No … I won't use that word either. Maybe hopeless, desperate and slutty.” he had a small smirk on his lips and if I could shove him in the balls I would.
“Hey! Your describing Zoe!” Kat exhaled in an excited tone.
“I know right!” Zoe cheered in with Kat and Masson and I just cringed at Zoe actually admitting it.
“You really do know the perfect type to date.” I said to Masson but he ignored me.
“Really? This girl?” Kat asked Masson. Again, he just ignored us.
They dialled down and then Zoe looked over my shoulder.
“Well Carson, I think you already have an admirer.” we all followed her gaze and a sexy boy named Shen was looking at me and he had the most amazing smile on his face. He was winking at me and I sort of blushed because he was sexy and he was one of Masson's friends. When Masson saw that one of his friends was checking me out, his expression changed completely.
“I'll just go and talk to him then, seeing that I'm already described as desperate.” I gave Masson a fake smile.
“You're really going to go and talk to Shen?” Kat asked surprised and before I could answer her, Masson flipped. Before I turned on my heel, Masson grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back.
“Yeah, no! She's not going to go and talk to him! Come on! Let's go!” he pushed me backwards by the shoulders and pulled me by my upper arm away from everybody. He didn't even care that Kat and Zoe stared at us, stunned. He didn't even care that the entire school was looking at us now.
We were alone at the side of the school where nobody was and he let go of my arm while placing his own face in his hands.
“Carson, what the fuck are you doing?” his voice somehow turned deeper.
“I told you not to change a hair on your body and you went and did it anyway.” he was blazing mad by the point and it wasn't even nine o'clock yet. This is not a bad morning.
“Did you expect me to listen?” I asked him in my innocent little voice.
“No! Because you never do!” his voice was rising a bit and I saw from the corner of my eye that Shen was staring at us. Masson saw what I was looking at and then he gave a menace chuckle.
“Don't even think about talking to him.”
“Why not? He's nice … and I need a date for your party. He's perfect.”
“Carson...” he dragged my name out … “If I see him with you at my party then I will personally throw him out. That I promise you.” he was warning me because I knew that tone all to well.
“You can't throw him out. He's my date and your friend.”
“Watch me. He's not good enough for you.”
“Neither are you … so I don't think you are in that position to tell me whose good enough for me or not.” his face faltered at my remark but he knew it was true.
“Yeah with how you look now seems everybody here is good enough for you.” he said in a bored tone while checking out my figure again in a disgusted manner.
“You really don't like the way I look? I look like your sluts now . . . You should be happy. You have to think I look hot or sexy.” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I like the face and the hair but that is it! The rest of your body turns me off completely.” Wow. That stung a little. “Nobody is suppose to see your body like this. I like the Carson than wore tights and sport bra's.”
“Okay . . . So you don't want me looking like this and you also didn't want me when I was wearing tights . . . maybe you'll want me when I'm dead.” his look changed instantly at those words.
“What did you just say?” he said in a deep low dark voice.
“Masson … you keep saying that you're not good enough for me but seems to me it's the other way around. I can make my own choices and the other night when you left me in pieces at my front door you said that you didn't want me anymore...”
His face, turning into a little bit of sadness, stared at the floor while I spoke those words.
“You don't have the right to tell me who I can date and who I can't. I'm not yours. You made that perfectly clear the other night.”
“Carson … look at you. You don't fit in with these girls. You are beautiful but your body is not for all these pervert guys that's drooling all over their shoes.”
“I can be like one of your bitches.” he laughed at my gesture.
“No you can't. I don't want you to be one of them. You will always be the beautiful shy girl that I met three years ago.” he walked slowly over to me and lifted my chin up, our faces a few inches from each other. That is when it hit me. He's the only one to ever have been with me.
I walked a little back and stared at him in awe.
“Oh … so that's what this is all about . . .” he gave me a blazing look as if he knew exactly that I figured it out.
“You don't want me dressing like this, let alone be like this because you want that memory to last. I was the only girl that was normal that slept with you and you didn't had to use flattering . . . and realizing it now . . . I was the only girl that slept with you whose virginity you took and oh my God … I'm the girl that has only been with you. In your lifetime of girls, that has never happened before.” I dozed off with my monologue, thinking about three years ago and why this is bothering him so deeply. On this moment I did feel like a million dollar trophy. I just didn't show it.
“Yes . . . and that is why you're special. That is why you can't be like any of these girls. Just you standing here with whatever look this is . . . I will never see you as one of them.” he twirled his hand in circles at my body as if it was a deadly virus he didn't want to touch.
“Yeah . . . I know and only you have seen my body before and now it's bothering you that other people get to see more of what they should. Your jealous. You want to feel special that you are the only one that got to see my body and you don't want me to share it with just anyone. Even though I'm not yours, you still want to protect my body as if it's yours. You feel great that I shared my body with you and nobody else yet.” he didn't take his eyes off me and that is when it came to me.
There was a slight pause between us.
“You know what? You're right. I would also feel special if I was in your shoes.” I saw the relieved look on his face and that is when I mentally smiled inside.
“I think it's time that changed.”
“Excuse me …?” We were mad at each other but nothing in compared to how we looked at each other now. His eyes were burning with fire.
“It's time that changed. I have only been with you so I think I should test it out with someone else. You know . . . see if it's that great with someone else too.” my tone of voice got excited and he saw me looking over at Shen and waving to him. Masson clenched his fists and held it in front of his face.
“Carson . . .” He dragged my name out again and hearing my name coming out of his mouth got me all giddy inside. Wow . . . that sounded way more sexual. “Don't even think about it.” Shen walked closer and when he wanted to interfere with our conversation Masson jump him first.
“No … you won't talk to her. Keep walking. Go!” and he pushed Shen to the side of the wall.
“Carson … I'm serious. You will not sleep with someone like him. If I see you with him tonight I will not be held responsible for what happens.”
“Masson . . . Masson . . . Masson . . . I slept with you, didn't I? And just think . . . maybe he will call me the next day like you didn't. You worry to much. Take a chill pill. Whatever I decide to do has got nothing to do with you. Please go back to Zoe. It is clear who you chose to be with.” I walked to his side and whispered slowly under my breath while placing my hand on his chest. “Don't worry . . . I'll try not to scream your name when he bites my neck and pulls my hair.” I could feel his heartbeat increase rapidly and his nostrils were flaring. I gave his chest a few taps with my hand and as I walked away I couldn't help but giggle a little bit. I know . . . that was taking it a little to far.
As I strolled away from Masson, I called Shen over. I could've sworn I heard Masson kick over a thrash can and he definitely cussed a little bit and when I linked my arm with Shen's, I peaked over my shoulder and saw Masson staring after us, his fists clenched tight at his sides. In those handsome green eyes there was a hint of payback. Second time I had him rooted to the spot.
Shen and I had homeroom together and I never really noticed that before now. He came to sit next to me and we started talking. A lot.
He had jet black hair and brown eyes but I couldn't get myself so far as to fall in love with someone like him. You know that feeling you get when someone is hot and you try hard to make yourself fall in love because they are so well mannered and nice but there is just no way how you can get someone else out of your head.
Unfortunately . . . Masson was the one I couldn't get out of my head. Some people might just think it's because he was my first and nobody ever forgets their first but that was not the case here. I am still in love with him and care for him but as you know … it's complicated.
At lunch, Shen came to sit with me and soon Kat and Matt joined us. Masson was sitting with Zoe and some of her friends but when Zoe saw that Shen and I were sitting together, she grabbed Masson and hurried over to our table.
Masson seemed to be in more pain as he saw Shen's arm was placed over my shoulder. Matt and Shen laughed together about funny memes on facebook but when Matt caught Masson's eyes, he quickly remained quiet. Shen saw that but he didn't say anything and I mentally wished he won't say anything. There is already enough drama between Masson and I. Masson was having a hard time trying to control his anger and I did feel a bit sorry for him but that went away as soon as it came.
Us girls talked about what we will be wearing to Masson's party tonight but after that our table became very awkward and uncomfortable. The boys weren't talking to each other and us girls felt the tension. More like Kat and I because Zoe was such an idiot she just kept making small talk to everyone but not one of us wanted to join in.
Masson scratched his food around and Matt was whispering sweet nothings into Kat's ears. Masson got irritated with them, giggling and whispering, he pushed his food aside and left the table, Zoe excusing herself and ran after Masson.
“What's his problem?” Shen said after a while, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
All three of us just eyed each other and said we don't know. Maybe Zoe is getting to much.
In English Masson ignored me completely. He was sitting at the front of the classroom and talked to other girls. He probably only wanted to make me jealous because he was talking more loudly than ever.
We had p.e after our fifteen minute break so I just made my way over to the library to just take a little breather. My feet were killing me in these heels but at least everybody bought this new look. Even some of the teachers said that I looked beautiful and others said I looked different. Both of them seemed to be a compliment.
People were still staring at me as I passed through the halls and some even came to introduce themselves. Felt a little weird being this popular. Matt told me that Masson was going to have a stroke anytime soon because everywhere they go they hear about the sexy girl in the little black dress. I couldn't help but laugh at how he said little black dress in a mocking tone.
I suppressed a triumphant smile and Matt gave me a devious look. “It's not something to be happy about Carson. You know how Masson gets when someone upsets him. Particularly you as well.”
“Look Matt, Masson should get over himself. If it wasn't for his little trash hooker I wouldn't be here looking like this now.”
Kat also told me that she is so happy to not be in my shoes at the moment even though my shoes look like the bomb and this is only the beginning of Masson's wrath. Didn't quite understand what she meant by that.
As soon as the bell rang for p.e, I left the library and made my way over to the gym. Opening the doors of the library, which was a little difficult because the doors were so heavy I came face to face with what I dreaded to see, I saw Masson standing underneath the stairs with another girl. Zoe quickly had a make over if you ask me. He kissed her all over and then he saw me, standing there, rooted to my spot. I just rolled my eyes in annoyance.
“And now you wonder why you can't get anything good.” I said as I passed them.
“Excuse me?” the girl said in an offended tone.
Coming to a halt, I turned around and said, “I wasn't referring to you. Masson has a girlfriend and now he's standing under the stairs with you. No wonder he doesn't have something that lasts.” I wanted to walk away again but she interrupted me.
“You're the one to talk. You also changed your look to one of us. I have to say that you look hot and that and definitely better than how you looked before but you are also one of us now.” My lips curled up at her statement.
“Yeah, I might be dressed like you and I might act like all of you but I'm not the one with somebody else's boyfriend under the stairs. That's the difference between you and me. I will never do that to a friend.” I gave them my best smile and I could see her mouth hanging open. Masson's expression was unreadable.
“Bitch!” she suddenly said and that is when I flipped.
“Say that again.” I turned around and walked towards her. She looked stunned and I bet she didn't expect me to turn around. We were in front of each other, our faces a few inches away. Masson pulled her away but she wasn't finished.
“What do you care what Masson does?”
“Oh no I don't but see I just wanted to prove a point. That the only good thing he will ever have in his life will be me. So Masson I hope this memory under the staircase with this bitch will also be special in your mind.” my tone was getting more sarcastic with the minute.
She was laughing very hard right now and she even snorted like a little piggy.
“Why on earth would you be the only good thing in Masson's life?” I got a little bit closer to her and then I said words that made Masson close his eyes and sigh deeply.
“I'm the only decent girl Masson has ever had. Because although I am dressed like this, I have more integrity and moral standards in my little finger than you contain in your whole body . . . and Masson knows that.” scanning him up and down I turned on my heel and out of sight.
Her face was priceless at those words. I wished I had a camera to take a photo of them. It was true what I said. I am honest and faithful, even after Masson left me three years ago I didn't sleep with anybody else. He knows that he won't have that ever again.
Running into the locker rooms with my heels in my hands, I changed briefly and went out to my fellow classmates. Masson, Shen and I had p.e together and I kept cringing at the fact that I have never noticed Shen before. This made me nervous before every class because I didn't know if he will be there or not.
It felt so good to be wearing my black short runner's ski pants and a white crop top with my nikes. This was my look. I was destined to look like a girl that lives in a gym. Not wearing short dresses and high heels. See, the only difference between me and the bitches of our school, was the fact that I can run two miles without almost dying and I didn't get half a heart attack when I broke my pedicure nail in gym.
Most of the girls kept asking me if the nail was alright and they don't know what they would've done if it were theirs.
I was so shocked that I just disappeared into the crowd of the boys and stood next to Shen. That girls can get so upset just because of a nail. Now I definitely knew I didn't belong as one of them.
The coach made us do sprints and we were all paired up into fours. This was just another wonderful day where Masson and Shen had to share a group with one emo dude and one musical dude. Shen did ask me why all of a sudden Masson doesn't want to speak to him because he always speaks to him and he's his friend but I just played dumb.
Shen soon caught on when Masson ran past me and accidentally tripped me to the floor.
“Masson! What the heck was that?” the coach yelled at him.
“Sorry coach. My foot slipped.” he mumbled back without apologizing to me.
“Masson you need to stop bro.” I overheard Shen say but Masson ignored him flat.
Masson didn't even help me up or allowed Shen to help me up. He just pushed him back to his group and I think Shen was getting fed up. While the coach was busy talking to some teachers, Masson tripped me again when we had to run around the track.
“Seriously bro! I told you to stop!” Shen yelled at Masson and luckily the coach didn't hear us.
“Nobody tells me what to do.” Masson's voice was fierce and I felt a huge fight coming on.
“Shen, leave it. He's not worth it.” my leg was hurting where Masson tripped me twice.
“No I won't. Hey yo Masson!”
Masson turned around to come face to face with Shen and I stepped a little closer, just in case there are fists flying.
“If you want Carson so bad then just say so! Stop expressing your feelings through childish behaviours like hurting her. You don't hurt the people you love.”
“Why don't you shut the fuck up man?” Shen grabbed Masson by the chest and before I could interfere I saw the coach running over.
“Hey, hey, hey . . . what's going on here?” Masson and Shen stared each other down and when the coach saw Shen holding on to Masson, he send him to the principals office.
“But . . .” I wanted to tell the coach that Masson started but my voice seemed to have got sucked back in.
Masson's lip curled up into a smile and as he walked past me he whispered close to my ear.
“That's how you take care of your problems.” I could feel my heart hammering against my chest from anger.
“You did that on purpose. Why can't you just admit that I'm the best thing you ever had!” I snarled at him.
“Why do you think I'm so good at getting what I want.” he pointed his index finger at his head and tapped it several times. He totally ignored my statement. Yeah he thinks he's clever. Moron. That's what he is.
Shen didn't come back during the period so I was all alone on my own. We had to do push ups, sit ups, sprints, once again and we had to run around the track. By the end all the girls were breathless on the floor and some were sweating heavily. You could see their layers of make up coming down in waterfalls on their faces. As I stood there, not sweaty or even being breathless, I heard the coach call me over.
Everybody were looking at us as the coach spoke loudly.
“Carson . . . you have skills. I forgot you were the one that won that record for running the five mile competition.”
“That was like two years ago.” I reminded him. Out of shape is more the words I will use instead of skills.
“Maybe I can drill you a bit if you wanted too. Get you back in there. I know some people like it when someone drills them and helps them exercise.”
“Yeah, that b-” I continued to say but I got cut off by Masson.
“Why don't you just drill her now coach. We still have fifteen minutes left and if she's so great than she should prove it.” Masson said loudly.
Everybody else joined in with the cheer. Of course all the girls will back Masson up since they are so shoved into his ass. The coach wasn't convinced and he wanted to protest but then he got called to the principals office regarding what Shen did in the gym to Masson.
“Well then, I have to go to the office and since there is twelve minutes left . . . Masson I will leave you in charge. Please behave.” he handed Masson the keys and eyed us all warningly. Masson got up from his seat on the floor and walked over towards me.
“You heard the coach Carson. Give me twenty.” Masson demanded me. I stared at him, stunned.
“No! He didn't say you can do it.”
“No he didn't . . . but I'm in charge. Unless your scared or perhaps you will not be able to handle this on your own.” the challenging look on his face made me glare at him with rage. Is he seriously trying to get me back for not trusting him to help me when I was bullied by his friends?
“You know I can handle things on my own.” I bite back.
“How did that work out for you? If I didn't come around... who knows what would've happened.”
I bend over onto the floor and gave him twenty push ups. After that he made me do fifty sit ups, run up and down the bleachers and do lunges across the track.
The hate I had for him grew more and more with every little sweaty tear that ran down my face.
The majority of the people kept laughing at how he's drilling me and some seemed to be worried. One guy told Masson to stop but how angrier I got the more he seemed to get angrier by the minute. He simply ignored the guy and walked over to me.
Sweat dripping from my forehead, I crouched over and rested my hands on my kneecaps.
“Still going to sleep with Shen?” he quietly said to me when he crouched down in front of me. Great . . . so he's punishing me for a lot of things on the moment. Staring up at him, I shook my head and laughed evilly.
“I'm going to be the death of you, aren't I?” my voice was hoarse and I was still busy catching my breath but I gave him my best sarcastic smile.
“Give me five laps then.” damn . . . I was seriously crawling under his skin.
“That the best you got ass hole?” this is when I realized that payback starts now.
“No Carson . . . I will be the death of you. Payback is a bitch. Deal with it! I said five laps!” I rolled my eyes at the roughness of his voice. Running around the track again and this time I pushed back harder. The bell rang but he motioned for me to keep going and so I did. He will not get his way this time.
People didn't leave when the bell rang. They stayed to see how much more I could take. The girls all enjoyed it when they saw my face drenched in sweat and I was shining as red as a tomato but I kept going. The other people that's worried about me stayed to see if I needed any help. I could see their hands on their mouths and some of them cussed at the girls that started to laugh loudly at my pained appearance.
At least some people were on my side. The more I pushed, the more Masson burned with anger. He knew I was not going to give in without a fight. He knew that I can take a lot before I crack. He can't always win. That's why I didn't needed his help that quick when I was bullied because it takes a lot for me to crack and he was realizing it now as I saw the veins popping in his forehead.
On the last moment when we all had to leave for our next peroid, Masson made me run from side to side.
“Faster, faster, faster!!!” He bellowed at me and being stubborn as fuck . . . I kept going. The more he yelled . . . the more I sprinted. I picked up the pace and then I started feeling very weird . . . my heartbeat got stuck in my throat, my legs started to wobble, my pulse grew weaker and my eyesight started to glow brighter. The more Masson yelled, the more I kept hearing my eardrums banging against my head. Then I felt it . . . my breathing and my heartbeat couldn't keep up with each other. He didn't even let me rest long enough before he drilled me and now my body is telling me that I can't run one more step. Stop Carson . . . You might get a heart attack and Masson is not worth that much effort. Masson was going to be the death of me. Fuck! He always gets his way. Trying to get air back into my lungs I heard a boy yell.
“Masson! Stop! You're gonna kill her!”
That is when my body went into full shut down mode.
“Aaarghhh!” I cried out in pain as my body fell to the floor.
Half of the people were busy hurrying over to me but Masson snapped at them before they made it half way.
“Nobody touches her!” the crowd stopped at his sudden shout and some of them looked frightened and confused. Personally, I think that they realized that this was a personal matter between Masson and I.
Masson walked over to me and I had to squint my eyes to properly see him because all I felt at the moment was pain. Everything was on fire. My chest, my back, my legs and I think my heartbeat has gone down a few beats. My eyes were stinging with tears. Still gasping for air, I saw Masson lean down. My face was hot and full of dripping sweat. It also took me a while to see that my hands were covered in blood.
He brushed my hair to the back of my shoulder and lifted my face so that he can see me properly. When I looked him straight in the eyes, I saw his reaction change from satisfied to worry. Or I think it only changed to worry because he saw my nose was bleeding and the blood was busy running down my mouth. It stained my body and even my white crop top.
I couldn't read his expression but he soon noticed that the entire class was still there.
“Leave. Now.” he demanded them but he didn't take his eyes off me.
Seeing all their worried faces, I saw that they didn't want to leave but afraid of what Masson will do . . . they left in a hurry to their next class. They gave me sympathetic smiles but the bitches obviously liked all of this. They shined with happiness.
After a while of staring at each other, Masson spoke.
“Had enough yet? I told you I'd be the death of you.” I stared up at the roof and closed my eyes. This is what Kat meant with Masson's wrath. He doesn't even care that I got hurt.
“Yes, yes I had enough. Enough of your shit! Just quit it Masson! I'm going to sleep with somebody else whether you like it or not!” I rose from the floor and almost tumbling over, Masson caught me. Shaking my head to get rid of the dizziness I felt Masson's arms tight around my waist. When I could stand up straight I broke free of his embrace and stared him dead in the eyes.
“Like you told me the other night. We can't always get what we want. See, that's why you don't have anything good in your life because you keep hurting the people that cares for you! I hoped you enjoyed hurting me.” Limping towards the changing rooms I peaked over my shoulder again and saw Masson rooted to the spot once again with his fists clenched. Third time rooted to the spot. I am on fire today.
“Carson . . . remember one thing. I always get what I want and by the way . . . you're not the only one that's hurting.” his voice echoed through the gym and I ignored him and kept going.
Let me just tell you . . . I looked like shit. I was limping, heels in one hand and my bag in the other as I made my way to our last period which was Math.
Everybody stared at me with their mouths open because I didn't look as hot as I did that morning. My make up was smudged, my hands were full of blood and my face still had stains of the remaining blood and sweat. I didn't have enough time to wash my face or my hands so you can imagine how I must've appeared.
I seated myself in the back and as far away from Masson as I could. Unfortunately, I was the last to enter the classroom before the teacher got there.
My black dress was wrinkled and I could feel Masson's eyes on me. My nose started to bleed yet again and luckily the boy next to me offered me a tissue. All I wanted to do was get home and take a long nap. On the other hand I had this feeling of pride in my gut. I gave it my all and Masson didn't win this round. He might've had his way with Shen but I don't give up so easily. Don't get me wrong … I was furious with Masson but I proved myself that nobody rules my life.
When the bell rang I immediately got up and left the room.
On my way out people kept asking me if I was okay and one girl that's also one of Masson's squeezes, helped me walk across the hall until I saw the wonderful yellow sunlight.
Kat and Matt were laughing outside and when their eyes fell on me their eyes grew wider.
“What the fuck happened to you! You look like the negative version of yourself.”
“Language Kat!” Matt warned her.
“Oh baby . . . what happened to you? How long have you been in the tumble drier?” she brushed through my hair and when she saw my nose bleeding, she handed me a tissue.
“Masson kept me in the tumble drier for twenty five minutes!” My patience and temper were very short but I was glad that school was over.
Kat and Matt both exchanged looks at each other and from the look of things I knew they wanted to laugh.
“It's not funny . . . Masson's really pissed off this time. I pushed it too the extreme this time.”
After telling them what happened with Shen and me in the gym, they said they did warn me.
“How long can he make someone suffer for hurting him?I mean . . . he also hurt me when he told me he didn't want me but now we're going through all this shit again. Why can't he just admit he wants me and get it over with.” All of us walked over the parking lot . . . at a slow pace, since I was still limping . . .
“Carson . . . Masson would've been okay with the change but after you told him that you will try to not scream his name during sex with Shen . . . he lost it.” Matt said casually. I was surprised that Masson told Matt that specific detail.
“You said what!” Kat bellowed excitedly.
“It's not as if I'm really going to sleep with Shen . . . You know I won't do that.”
“Yeah but Masson doesn't know it.”
“And we will continue to keep it that way. Maybe I will sleep with Shen but not on our first date of course . . . the last time I slept with someone on our first date . . . he didn't call the next day.”
They knew I was referring to Masson.
We made it over to where I parked and as I threw my shoes in the back, I saw in the distance Masson staring at us.
“Carson, you can't drive looking like this. I'll take you home.” Matt insisted and after having another nose bleed, I agreed.
“What happened to Shen? Does one of you know?” I asked them from the back seat.
“He had to sit in the principals office the entire period but that was it.” Matt motioned towards me with his hand and a huge pile of relieve washed over me.
After they dropped me off I bid my farewell and told them I'll see them at the party tonight but I first have to take a massive long nap and a shower.
Kat insisted to stay with me since I almost fell over the threshold and after five minutes passed, I saw Masson pulling up in the street to pick up Matt.
Rolling my eyes, I left urgently and pulled Kat in before Masson could acknowledge our presence and this was not a good time to come pick up where we left off in gym.
Give me a few hours then we can be at each others throats again. My body needed a reset of the happenings of the day and I think his mind and temper also needs a break. The cause of Massons stroke will be me. He's not far from one.
Binging on the couch while Kat made us lunch, I swiped through the netflix shows and put on friends. Literally in love with this show, doesn't matter how old it is.
We had chicken salad with a cup of hot cocoa and seeing that it's already four in the afternoon,Kat told me to take a nap for two hours. The party starts at seven and Kat insisted on dressing at my house and arriving with me. I was too tired to shower first.
My eyes fluttered opened and seeming to be half asleep, I viewed the television that was displaying How to lose a guy in ten days. What the . . . my phone was busy vibrating from under me and as I pulled it out . . . Masson's name appeared.
Thinking to myself why the hell he's calling me . . . the confusion lifted and I remembered everything from that day. The make over, the gym and Shen. It rang for thirty seconds and then stopped. He called me five times. Still staring at the phone I saw Kat entering the room . . . looking super hot.
She was wearing a black sequence dress with black high heels and I saw that she just finished her make up.
“Come on girl. It's almost twenty past six.” she threw a little red dress at me. This dress was the exact same as the black one I wore to school.
“Where did you get that dress? Did you leave?”
“Matt dropped it off for me . . .” she trailed off.
“What?” she was swaying uncomfortably in her spot.
“Matt told me that Masson has been drinking since they got to his house.” already bored . . . I said, “So?”
“When Masson drinks he gets more pissed. On the moment he's enjoying the company of a few of the girls in our school and . . . Matt told me in confidence that Masson regrets what he did to you at school today and that is part of why he's drinking so much. There's something else as well . . . Matt told me Masson wants you but he still can't forgive you for not trusting him to help you when you needed help with his sister and all that.” she stated in a sympathetic tone.
I knew it. I knew he still wants me and now that it seems I have moved on with someone else, now he wants to come back. Unfortunately, in my books it doesn't work like that. It's time he suffers.
“Kat . . . I don't care. That's his problem. Not mine. I would've worked my ass off to prove to him that I'm sorry but he's not interested. ” Rising from my seat I walked over to the kitchen counter and got a hold of red wine.
“We can also drink before we go. Trust me . . . I'm in need of it.”
The hot water was dripping down like waterfalls and it felt like smooth silk against my skin. Replaying the days events over and over in my head, I lowered my head and leaned on the wall. When you love someone . . . you don't hurt them. That stuck with me. All I want to do is be with Masson. Is that so much to ask for? I didn't mean to hurt him . . . I wanted to involve him but I also wanted to handle it on my own. Now look where we are, once again.
After drying myself, getting dressed, putting on high heels, doing the whole smokey eye look, curling my hair to the side and applying highlighter on my nose and under my eyes, I descended the stairs like a royal.
The lotion I had on my legs and arms glowed brightly in the light. Clearing my throat, I waited for Kat to come and see how I looked and when she saw me, her jaw dropped.
“I'm not even going to comment. All I'm saying is that Masson won't know what hit him.” she had a huge smirk on her face and to be honest … I did look hot. Black heels, red dress, obviously open at the sides … I glided down and made my way to the kitchen where I poured our last glass of wine before we left.
“I assume that the expression on your face means you're still going through with tonight?” Kat knew me well. She knows I will never back down and hearing that Masson is already partying with girls . . . she knew that made me furious and that it made me blood lust.
“My dear Kat . . . if Masson can entertain a bunch of girls before the party than surely I can continue my date with Shen. It's a two way road honey. If he wants a war then he's going to get one.” Saying that with a sly smirk on my face, Kat raised her glass and cheered with me. If Masson can be with girls then I can also be with boys. If he wants to be unfair then so can I.
“My dear Kat … tonight will be fun. Let's see how much he can take this time.”
We walked towards the door but Kat came to a halt and her expression gave off a hint of sadness and empathy.
“What's wrong with you Kat?”
“There's something else you should know . . .” my worry levels were rising and I waited for her to continue.
“The main reason why Masson almost went through an entire bottle of whiskey is because he can't get the image of you out of his head.”
“What do you mean?”
“Masson told Matt that when you fell to the floor and he lifted your face up . . . he saw your nose bleeding badly and then the memories of that night when his sister tied you up and punched you several times in the mouth came flooding back to him. He said that when they abused you in front of him he couldn't do anything because it had to seem as if he was a part of them and he still remembered in how much pain you were and the tears and the pools of blood . . . and when he saw the same pools of blood running down your nose . . . he realized that he was just as bad as his sister. That he was the one this time that did that to you.”
“Oh . . . It never occurred to me that it went through his mind.”
Masson couldn't have saved me from that punching because he needed evidence to put all his friends and his sister away and I'm so grateful for it but I had no feeling towards it now. If he really was bothered by it, the way it sounds he is . . . then he would've apologized to me and tell Kat at least to say he's sorry and I can come with Shen. Masson did phone me yes but Kat said it was only to apologize but I still had to come without Shen. That will not happen. She thought I was going to say something sweet but I lifted my chin up in the air and repeated my words.
“Let's see how much he can take.” and my sly bitchy attitude was back.
Shen texted me that he will meet me at the party and so Kat and I left in a taxi. Matt would've picked us up but he was too busy helping Masson set everything up. We didn't go in my mothers car because we all would be drinking and she won't be happy with me if I drink and drive.
When we arrived the party was already at full blast. Checking my phone one last time before we entered this loud nest, I saw my mother texted me to enjoy the party and I had so many notifications on facebook from people who were inviting me.
We entered the party very difficultly because there were so many people, we had to push through. It also took me a while to get through to Kat because everybody complimented me on how I was dressed and some asked for my number.
At last we got inside the lounge and scanning the room, I saw Masson pouring drinks for his friends at the bar. All of them took a double with their head when they saw the bright small figure walking closer. Masson even stopped his drink as he was about to take another sip. He had a small smile in the corner of his mouth and I saw him checking me out. That small smile was probably there because he saw I was alone but just as quick as I thought about that, his smile faded quickly.
For a moment I thought their was something wrong with him but then Shen placed his arms around me from the back.
“Hey, wow, you look beautiful Carson.” I smiled up at him.
“And you smell so good.” I tried saying that loudly over the music and while he was swaying me from side to side, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I'm sorry but I just had to look over at Masson's facial expression and when my eyes fell on him . . . I thought he was going to throw his beer bottle at Shen. His jaw was clenched and he grabbed a hold of the bar table very tightly. His green eyes were shining in the light from anger.
Oh yeah . . . this party is going to be a lot of fun, I thought to myself.
Heyyyyy guys!! 🤗❤️ I hope you all are having an amazing lockdown and that you all stay safe!
Hope you enjoy this long chapter❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please vote, comment and follow me🤗💚💚
Please look after yourselves and enjoy the time home.. I'm already bored! 😂 Have a blessed day! Love you! ❤️❤️❤️