Warning! This is a hell of an emotional rollercoaster for a chapter, so buckle in and grab onto something because here we go!
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We pull out of the long, winding driveway of the plantation and head back to Martha's.
I haven't been able to stop fidgeting, and I really don't know what to do with myself. I want to call Brooke, but Josie's right there.
My leg subconsciously bounces up and down as I think of what I'm going to find when I arrive.
"Easy, Colt. You're shaking the whole truck," Josie chuckles, and I can't believe that she's here with me. That she's still willing to put up with my bullshit.
I press my heels firmly into the floor of the truck. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." She pauses to glance at my phone on my lap that I've been messing with. "Call her."
"I—"
"Should call her, I know. That's what I'm saying." She smirks, and I shake my head in disbelief. Fucking women.
I do call her.
Ten times.
By the eleventh time the automated robot lady picks up the phone instead of Brooke, I'm about ready to have a mental breakdown. I grip my head in my hands, wondering what the fuck I'm going to do about this. I know she's mad, but I didn't think mad enough to give back her ring.
Fucking women.
"Talk to me, Colt." Josie interrupts my thoughts, and I shake my head.
"Thanks, but you don't need to bother yourself with it. It's a massive clusterfuck that even I don't understand."
"Yeah, and who better to understand clusterfucks?"
I sigh deeply and nod. "Are you sure? It's okay, really."
"I swear. Wouldn't ask if I wasn't."
My lips roll between my teeth as I think about what to say, and I recall Sue's words.
"She's jealous. Of you, Tommy, SueEllen, anyone down here, and it's frustrating me." I dive in deep about how she bought the tickets without giving me any notice for work purposes, then how she got mad at me for not spending time with her. I tell her about our fight, how I said what I said and then I tell her all about today, how her fake affection was all for show.
"Yeah, I'm going to look at that arm when we arrive. Just to be safe," she comments with a tone made of steel, knuckles turning a little white on the steering wheel.
"I just don't know what more I can do to show her that I'm sorry. That I'm trying to fix everything."
"Fuck that, Colt," she spits.
"What?"
"Stop with your 'oh woe is me' bullshit and come to your senses. You're not the only one in the wrong here."
"I'm just trying to cut her some slack. It's a crappy thing to get put in the middle of, and don't I deserve this?"
"That doesn't give her any excuse to be a brat about all of this. She's known for a long time now what's gone on. She's had plenty of time to get over it. You've done nothing but prove yourself to her again and again. If she can't see that you've chosen her, and if she's so insecure in your relationship that she feels the need to fake it in front of your friends, then she's the one in the wrong. If what you said is true, then she planned this, and she knew what she was walking into. But you know what, we accepted her. And now for her to throw our kindness back in our face? For absolutely no reason? I'm calling bullshit. There's something else at play here, and I don't think she's being completely honest with you." She gets angrier and more worked up the more she speaks, and her words hit home a little too closely. I don't like that what she's saying is making sense.
But of course Brooke isn't being completely honest with me. That's why we're in this mess to begin with
"You're right," I mumble. "I don't know what I'm doing. When you had a problem with me, you told me straight up. There is another factor to this, there has to be. I just don't know what, and hell will probably freeze over before she's going to tell me. I just think it's ironic that I'm a lawyer and I can't even get back to the bottom of my own case."
"No offense, but damn right I'm right." She sighs and collects herself. "Listen. What I'm trying to say is that we've all recovered down here. What happened, it's in the past. Both of you need to come to terms with that, okay? She can only run you down with this for so long before enough is enough. You still deserve to be treated with respect after you've gone out of your way to show her that she's the one you love. If she still can't see that, she's a damn fool for it, Colt," she says softly, and my heart tightens.
"I just don't understand," she mumbles, "We talked at the party. I told her we were cool with her. She apologized for..." she trails off, running a hand through her hair.
She makes a right and pulls into a Raising Cane's drive-thru.
"You guys talked?"
She glances as me as we come to a stop behind a few cars at the order menu.
"Yeah. I was going to tell you, but I didn't know if it was something that she was going to tell you later. I guess not."
I slump against the seat of the truck and both hands through my hair before holding the base of my neck in both hands. I look at Josie over my elbow.
"When did you talk?"
"It was just before I went out to get you guys from the front yard. She came up to me, and I thought she was going to tell me to stay away from you," she scoffs, resting one wrist on the steering wheel and sinking into the corner of the seat between the door and the back of her seat, twisting her torso towards me. "She didn't. She seemed so small and anxious, and I was a little concerned, but you know, not my business. She told me that had she known we were still married, she wouldn't have agreed to your first date and that she didn't want to be a disturbance while she was down here. Like she was going out of her way to get our, or at least my own, approval."
"Well, she definitely did not tell me that."
Does that mean she regrets our relationship? Is this the end?
I don't like the way I'm not freaking out about the potential end of my relationship with someone I'm supposed to love.
Josie pauses, her eye flitting to the stagnant line in front of us before they settle back on me. "Can I ask you something without you getting mad? Just be real, you know I'm not going to judge."
I nod, taking my hands off my neck and twisting so I can look at her better. "Anything."
"Why her?" I go to open my mouth to start my answer, but she beats me to it. "I mean, like, I know you. More than anyone besides Travis and Tommy. We can't deny that. You're not one to play the knight in shining armor, but she's definitely playing the damsel in distress. I just want to know why." She looks down, chuckling without a trace of amusement in her tone. "I'm just trying to connect the dots, I guess."
She pulls the car up before stopping it again and looking at me expectantly.
I sigh and nod. It's time to be honest, with both Josie and myself.
"She was there," I say bluntly. "I came back from Oak Bend after seeing you with Beau, and I was hurt. I knew her from before I came back in the first place. We fooled around when I came back because I wanted a distraction. We didn't put a label on it until... well, tomorrow will be our one year. I guess we just kinda fell in love as time went on," I continue on, not letting myself linger on the matter for too long. "It's really no excuse, and I know that now. I wish... I wish I would have stepped up and said something when I saw you on our porch. You were my wife, I should have fought for you, and I didn't. I guess I figured it was my punishment for leaving in the first place."
Josie nods, deep in thought, and I wait for her to respond.
She's silent as she pulls up to the ordering machine, and says, "You still want the usual?"
I scoff, nodding. "You're the worst," I tease. "Yeah, thank you. I'll pay."
"Don't."
She orders and then pulls forward after being told the total cost.
"I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing what she's turned you into," she admits quietly. "I just... you really made it seem like you two were in love. And don't lie to me, Colt. You know what love is, what it feels like, and whatever it is between you and Brooke ain't it."
I shove my card at her, but she purposefully doesn't take it as she gives some cash to the clerk and we pull forward after she gets her change back.
I do know what true love is. I know how it's supposed to feel. I think back to that bullshit answer I gave Brooke before I proposed to her. I realize that it's a different sort of love because there is none between us.
"But I've changed, Josie. I really have changed for the better."
"No, you haven't. Maybe you became a little more humble and maybe you became more practical, but you've only changed to be who you felt Brooke needed you to be. You aren't yourself. You are not a doormat. You are not an emotional human shield, and that's exactly what you've become for her.
"We've all forgiven you, now it's your turn, and please, Colt, enough is enough. You're smart, pal, when are you going to figure this out? I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but c'mon Colt. Be real with yourself."
Can I forgive myself? She's right, of course. I need to stop making excuses for her behavior because it's not right. I need to let go of the past. I made mistakes, and I know I'm trying to correct them. I can't do that with someone so insecure in her faith for me by my side. I can't do that with Brooke.
"I do forgive myself," I state, and I feel lighter than I have in years. "I did fuck up, and I had many fuck-ups later down the line, but I am trying to fix them. I'm not even close and they may be baby steps, but I'm still going on."
"Yes, you are. And you're going to recover. You're going to look back on this as a learning experience." She hands me the bags of food and continues to talk as she pulls back into the main road. "But you need to make it clear to Brooke that how she's treating you is not okay. She needs to accept the present for what it is, and if she can't do that, then screw her. Discover who you are again. Take it from me," she adds, "you'll feel so much better."
I study her as she drives, a hint of a smile on both of our faces, and I feel... better. I feel like I can breathe.
"So tell me about you and James," I nudge suggestively, though I sincerely want to know. I waggle my brows at her, eliciting a laugh from her
"What the hell? Dork," she chuckles, "Nah."
"Please?" I mock beg, and a smile tugs its way to her lips.
"Fine fine. If you really care, we're fine."
"He's good to you?" I ask, already knowing the answer.
"He's amazing, Colt. It was weird in the beginning. He travels for a living, so he sometimes incorporates other dating cultures into ours, and it was a little off-putting. Like he was super into PDA, and you know me, I'm not. We found our rhythm, and I like it. He's refreshing."
It doesn't even hurt when she tells me about how great her relationship is. I'm way too happy for her to even consider feeling jealous or negatively about it.
"You love him?" I ask.
"No, but he's told me that he loves me. He's been very supportive and understanding of our background. Says he's just happy I took a chance on him. I told him the same thing right back," she giggles.
"Well, for whatever it counts, I approve. He's always been a good guy."
"I'm sorry did I just hear you correctly? You called James, James Howard, a good guy? Jesus Christ, I think I'm hallucinating," she jokes, and I roll my eyes.
"You suck," I breathe out through amused laughter.
"Ditto." She winks at me before turning her eyes back to the road, and I sigh, happy.
I swear it's like we're right back in high school before we started dating, where we could just be our weird, funky selves around each other without worry of judgment.
A few minutes later, we pull into Martha's, and I breathe deeply, dread returning to my gut. I have a very bad feeling about what's going to happen, but I'm sure it's just nerves.
"You're going to be okay. I promise you, whatever happens, you've always got us in your corner," she says, patting my shoulder. "Hey, how's the arm, do you want me to look at it still?"
"No, I think it'll be fine. The blood's circulating again, and that's all that matters, right?"
She laughs. "If only you knew."
"I don't think I want to."
"Probably not," she agrees, shrugging haphazardly. "Don't hesitate to call any of us if you need anything okay? If something goes haywire—" Her eyes flick up to the house. "—we're here."
"Thank you. I'm sure it'll be fine, whatever happens. Thank you, for everything. You're too good for this world, Josie M—" I cut myself off before I finish that sentence, and Josie just smiles back at me.
"Bye, Colt."
"So long, Josie."
A couple of minutes later, I find myself approaching the door of our room. I had asked the receptionist to see if Brooke had left, but she said she hadn't seen her since she got back.
I don't bother knocking, instead, I just open the door and stroll in.
The first thing I notice is how messy it is. Clothes are strewn all over the place, and her suitcases look like they've been flung open hastily.
The next thing I notice is that Johnny is under the bed with his tail peeking out. He only hides under the bed when the vacuum is out or when it's thundering really bad or when he's scared, and my blood boils at the thought of Brooke doing anything to my dog.
The next thing I notice is a rigid Brooke, standing with her arms crossed, beside the window, looking right down at the driveway. I already know exactly where this is going, and if my blood wasn't boiling before, it's red hot from the irritation of her inevitably ignorant accusations.
I pull the ring out of my pocket and toss it on the bed. "You forgot something at the plantation."
"I didn't forget anything. I disposed of an ugly chunk of metal."
"Ouch," I say sarcastically, though I won't deny that her words sting.
"So you seemed happy down there. What changed in the few minutes you were walking up here?"
"Nothing," I answer simply. "Why'd you leave me stranded at the plantation?"
"Oh please, you were hardly stranded. I knew your little girlfriend would give you a ride," she spits out, and I roll my eyes.
"So we're back to this then?"
"I never left the topic."
"Look, Brooke, I don't know what you expect me to do. I've done everything I can to show you that I chose you. What else do you want from me? Do you expect me to drop my family again?"
Silence.
"You do, don't you?"
Nothing.
"Well fuck that, Brooke. I just got them back. You're not the only one I've wronged."
"You're pretty good at that aren't you?"
I scoff. "Fuck you, Brooke. I'm done with your temper tantrums and shitty accusations. Talk to me when your head's out of your ass."
She whirls around, seething, pointing fingers. "You can't talk to a woman like that!"
"I can talk to anyone I want to like that when they so blatantly disrespect my friends and embarrass them in public."
I watch Johnny squirm underneath the bed, trying to get farther underneath it.
"What the hell did you do to Johnny?"
"Nothing."
"Then why is he cowering underneath the bed?"
"I'm not talking to you."
"Real mature," I laugh humorlessly and squat down beside Johnny. "Hey buddy," I urge gently, "Come here, handsome." I stroke his backside softly, and he flinches from my touch.
I peek my head underneath the bed, and I see him totally distraught.
I sit back up on my knees, glaring at Brooke. "What the hell did you do to him?"
I grab his front paws and gently tug him out from under the bed. He whines but otherwise doesn't protest. When he's all the way out, I inspect him to see if I can find any obvious signs of abuse, and I can't. I sit in front of him as he sits down.
"What's wrong, buddy?" I ask him quietly, like he'd actually talk back to me and tell me what Brooke did.
I run my hands down his legs, over his spine, down his sides, and he flinches when I get to the area just before his left hind leg where the soft spot is where the ribs end.
"If you ever, ever touch my dog again, I'm going to put you in jail," I seethe, looking up at her from my spot on the ground.
"I won't because I'm out of here."
"Good fucking riddance," I mutter. I stand up and throw her shit in the suitcases, not caring how sloppily they're tossed in there. I just want her gone. I stuff one full and throw it towards the door.
"What the fuck, Brooke?" I mutter to myself, but she must think it's directed at her.
"I'm supposed to be the one you love! You have to choose me!"
Is she on drugs? What the fuck?!
"What the hell?" I recoil. "I did! Time and time again! My word wasn't enough so you had to fucking control everything I do and say! Fuck that shit," I curse.
"You wanna know the only reason I was with you?" she shrieks, a hint of crazy in her eyes. "My family is out of money! We're broke! It's all gone! We paid for college with the trust fund my grandmother made for me! Daddy knew he couldn't touch it, so he was going to embezzle your money once we were married and filed for a joint account! So I had to be little miss perfect for you so you wouldn't think to leave me! Then I learn that you have a past with little miss sunshine, and I had to leave. I went to Dad to see if we should still go through with the plan, and then you asked me to marry you. Plan's back on right? No! We get down here, and the plan flies out the window all because of your stupid little friends. They made me look bad! And now my father is going to disown me because I couldn't do the one job he asked me to."
I shake my head, eyes stinging, unable to comprehend what I've just heard.
"You're lying to me," I choke out. "Liar!"
She leans closer to me, a sick smile on her face that shows her obvious entertainment. "I'd swear to it in court."
I pull at my hair and pace.
This whole time she was using me. This whole time I was just a-a pawn in her plan to make some money. This isn't real.
I'm smarter than this. How did this happen? Why would she...
I look to Brooke blankly.
"Get out of my sight, get out of my life, and stay away from me and my family."
"Fucking gladly." She grabs her shit and marches passed me.
Wait a second.
"Oh and Brooke?" I call out to her calmly. She turns around and glares at me. "If you even think about going to my apartment to get your things, your ass will land in jail so fast you won't even know how you got there."
She scoffs and leaves, and I slam the door behind her as she goes.
I pace some more, and if my head were a little clearer, I'd worry I'd run down the floor.
But it's not, and now I haven't the slightest clue as to where to go from here.
I sink down onto the bed, and my phone catches my eye.
"Whatever happens, you've always got us in your corner."
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And here's chapter 27.
And I thought last chapter was fun!
I've left hints all throughout the story about her family being a rough topic for her, so I guess now we know why. Please don't kill me for this one lol. I like my life... most of the time.
Comment and vote if you liked it.
Till next time!
XX Blondie XX