overfalls
adj. dangerously steep and breaking seas due to opposing currents and wind in a shallow area, or strong currents over a shallow rocky bottom.
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Lee's mom was somewhat justifiably upset when Lee asked if she could go to the OBX Summer Movie Series. It had only been a few hours since Lee had been released from the hospital for almost drowning the previous day. Eventually, however, her mom caved, agreeing to drop Lee off at the event. Lee knew that the final movie was likely already on because it was so late in the day, but it was a summer tradition for her friends to go together. Plus, she needed to thank JJ and John B for saving her life. Stepping out of the backseat of her mom's car, Lee said a quick goodbye to her mother, promising to be home that night.
It was already dark out as she walked towards the crowd and Lee struggled to search for her friends. Squinting, Lee recognized Kiara's fold out chairs on the lawn but was surprised to see them empty. She quickly grew suspicious—it wasn't like her friends to leave their things unattended, especially at night when there were so many people around. JJ was especially protective of his stuff, although Lee didn't see his backpack with the chairs. As she walked closer to the screen, Lee still hadn't caught sight of her friends. Not wanting to block people's views of the movie, Lee quickly darted around the screen to pass to the other side of the crowd and continue her search.
Behind the screen, Lee was surprised to find her friends. She froze, noticing Kiara clinging onto Topper's back as Pope wrestled with him. JJ was being held by Kelce, a Kook that she didn't know very well, as Rafe punched him across the jaw. Kelce was the first to notice Lee, suddenly making eye contact with her. He froze for a moment before smirking.
"Hey, Rafe!" Kelce said, staring at Lee through the darkness. "It's Carter!" He nodded in her direction as Rafe slowly turned to face her.
Lee's heart hammered in her chest. Her friends' eyes locked onto her and even in the darkness Lee knew that they wanted her to leave. She was stuck to the ground as Rafe wiped his face, stalking towards her with a smirk.
"Lee! Haven't seen you in a couple nights." Rafe sneered. Lee's friends didn't move, terrified as Rafe walked right up to Lee, but she could see JJ's facial expression shift as he did the math on when Lee would have seen Rafe. "Did you swim here?" he asked mockingly. He was so close that Lee could smell his cologne.
She clenched her fists at her sides. Every bone in her body was begging her not to get into a fight but, oh, punching Rafe in the face sounded so satisfying. It might make him look more attractive if she broke his nose, Lee reasoned. She would be doing him a favor. Even if her entire body was so sore that she felt like she was going to collapse, it was so tempting.
"What's the problem, Lee?" Rafe mocked, taking a step closer to her so that she had to look up to meet his eyeline. "Fish got your lung?"
Lee couldn't help it. She swung her fist harder than she ever had before. She socked Rafe's jaw with a satisfying crack! before he had time to react. Everyone was still for another moment as Rafe rubbed his jaw, spitting blood onto the ground before turning to Lee angrily.
"Oh, you're dead, Pogue!" Rafe growled, lunging at Lee.
That was all that it took for everyone to jump back into action. Lee landed roughly on her back, Rafe kneeling above her. She brought her knees forward, pressing them up into Rafe's junk as he tried to crawl towards her face. He hissed in pain and, taking advantage of his moment of distraction, Lee shoved his face to the side. Rafe was thrown off balance and Lee scrambled to her feet.
"Lee!" Kiara suddenly shouted. Lee glanced at her friend, her eyes locking on the gun in Kiara's hands. Hearing Rafe cursing behind her, Lee lunged forward towards Kiara. She grabbed the gun from Kiara's outstretched hand just as Rafe's arm locked around her neck.
"Drop it!" Rafe hissed, pulling threateningly against Lee's trachea. Lee didn't want to, but her hands instinctively dropped the gun as she tugged on Rafe's arm. She was gasping for air, glancing around wildly for a way out.
"I don't wanna do this, Lee," Rafe reasoned. "Promise you'll go home if I let go."
The feeling of asphyxiation was too familiar. She was desperate for air. She was drowning, drowning, drowning on land. The world was spinning. Topper had Pope in a chokehold. Kelce had JJ pinned on the ground. Lee kicked wildly at Rafe as her feet came off of the ground, her toes stretching down towards land. Breathe, breathe, breathe she chanted. Her lungs wouldn't fill with oxygen, wouldn't fill with water, they were shriveling up in her chest. Her fingernails dug into the skin on Rafe's arm and she heard him cursing in pain.
Rafe dropped his grip on Lee's neck and she fell to her knees in the grass just as the screen in front of them went up in flames. She quickly scrambled to her feet, breathing heavily as she rested her palms on her knees to regain oxygen in her lungs. The crowd on the other side of the screen was screaming and running away fearfully. Rafe stepped around Lee, grabbing Topper and Kelce before walking off. Lee straightened her back just as she was caught in an embrace that knocked the wind out of her.
"Geez, Carter," JJ hissed in her ear. His arms were locked tightly around Lee's waist, her tiptoes barely grazing the ground. "You scared the shit out of me."
Lee laughed softly, winding her arms around JJ. "Sorry," she whispered, burying her face into the crook of his neck. She could feel JJ trembling slightly in her arms and she held him tighter, pressing a soft kiss to his collarbone. "I'm sorry," she murmured again. "I'm sorry."
JJ only held her closer, his cheek pressing against the side of her head. "You're crazy," he hummed.
She could hear his heartbeat thrumming in his chest. Lee slowly dropped from the embrace, her hands falling to JJ's chest as he set her down. Kiara and Pope quickly came over to them, Kiara's face showing only relief and Pope's showing only concern. JJ's mouth opened in a question that Lee was sure she didn't want to answer, so she gracefully started a conversation that wasn't as aversive to her.
"The square groupers are dead," Lee blurted. "I mean, dead dead. Like, I saw their bodies dead."
"What?" Pope said. "They're dead?"
Lee nodded in response.
Kiara frowned, asking, "What happened to them?"
"Uh," Lee began, hesitating. "I couldn't tell, their bodies—" she paused, gagging slightly at the memory, "the bodies were completely mangled. It looked like the sharks had gotten to them."
Pope gave Lee a skeptical look. "Sharks?" he repeated. "There hasn't been a shark attack around the OBX in years."
"I know!" Lee said, growing frustrated. "I mean, it might've been a shark bite, but... it might not have been! I dunno, Peterkin was showing me this picture of them and I was really scared, I wasn't exactly inspecting them up close and personal!"
JJ shook his head, throwing up his hands to stop his friends from arguing. "Hang on," he said, "Why were you with Peterkin?"
"She came to my hospital room," Lee explained, "wanted to ask me some questions. She said we need to stay away from the Merchant."
"Whoever killed the groupers might be after the Royal Merchant," Kiara said. "And if that's the case..." Kiara trailed off, unwilling to say what they were all thinking.
Pope bit his lip, finishing, "We might be next. But, we aren't sure that they were killed—right, Lee? I mean, if it was sharks..."
Lee shook her head frantically. "No, you guys don't get it. If the sharks got 'em, it was after they were already dead. They were torn open."
The image of the bodies was at the forefront of her mind, tattooed onto the backs of her eyelids. Everytime she blinked all that she could see was the blue hue of their faces. The blood staining their abdomens. The emptiness of their eyes. Her friends stared at her for a moment. They could see the horror in her eyes, like she was still reliving the moment that she had seen the bodies.
Pope put his hands on Lee's shoulders, calling her attention back to them. "And you're sure that it was them?" Pope asked her, an eyebrow raised. "Like, one hundred percent sure that the square groupers are dead?"
Lee nodded slowly, glancing between each of her friends. "I'm sure. They're dead, and it wasn't an accident that killed them."
They stood in silence for a moment. Lee stared at the ground, unsure of what to say after dumping the information on her friends.
"Wow. That's heavy," Kiara suddenly breathed. "I gotta go home. Pope, can you help me get the chairs?" she asked, turning to Pope.
Pope nodded slowly, his eyes still wide in shock. "Yeah, let's do it," he agreed, turning to walk past the burning screen. "I'll see you guys tomorrow?" he said to JJ and Lee.
"Yeah," JJ confirmed, saluting Pope.
Lee nodded. "See you guys."
Kiara sent them a wave as she walked away with Pope. "Glad you're okay, Lee. And already kicking ass!"
Lee laughed lowly as Kiara turned around, but the laugh only reminded her of Rafe's arm around her throat. She slowly stopped, rubbing a hand over her neck until JJ wrapped his arms around her shoulders and forced her to spin and face him.
"I think I owe you a thank you," Lee said, raising an eyebrow as she met JJ's blue eyes. He inspected her face gently, brushing his thumb over the mark on her cheekbone. "My mom said that you jumped overboard after me."
JJ shrugged, dropping his hands to her arms. "Yeah, I drew the short straw," he joked.
Lee scoffed in mock offense, slapping his chest playfully. "You are impossible, Jay," she mumbled as JJ pulled her into another embrace.
He laughed softly. "I'm not the one jumping overboard during a storm—"
"Someone had to!" Lee argued.
"—And I'm not the one getting into fights a day after almost drowning. Next time I see Rafe, I swear—" JJ threatened lowly.
Lee huffed, pushing away from JJ's embrace. She glanced around warily and saw Kiara and Pope packing up Kie's chairs on the other side of the burning screen, clearly ready to blow this popsicle stand. "You can't do anything, Jay. This is bad enough, okay? I mean, do they know about the boat? Is that what this was about?"
JJ bit his lip, which was answer enough for Lee.
She groaned. "Did you tell anyone? I mean anyone, JJ—"
"No!" JJ hissed, covering Lee's mouth with his hand as her voice increased in volume. They both glanced warily at Kiara, who was walking away with Pope. "Of course I didn't tell anyone! Not even Kie, okay? Not even John B."
Lee slowly nodded her head in acceptance. "Okay. Okay, well somehow they know. We just... we gotta make sure that no one important finds out."
"Hey," JJ soothed, putting an arm around Lee's shoulders. "It'll be fine. Let's just go home, yeah?"
She raised an eyebrow as they began to walk away from the burning screen before them. "You mean, go to my home?" she teased. He rolled his eyes in reply.
They got about ten feet down the road before Lee could hear a burning question eating away at JJ. "Do you have something you wanna ask me?" she asked, stopping in place and turning to face JJ.
JJ licked his teeth. "What did Rafe mean, 'a couple nights ago'?" he slowly asked, like he didn't want to hear the answer.
Lee pressed her lips together. "So, you've obviously figured out I didn't go to Virginia Beach with my mom," she replied, not quite answering the question.
"Yeah, you're a shit liar. Just lucky I didn't call it out in front of Pope."
"Yeah," Lee agreed. "Well, Sarah went with me."
"Sarah as in Sarah Cameron?" JJ asked. "As in sister of the asshole who just beat the shit out of you?"
Lee glared at JJ. "I wouldn't say he beat the shit out of me–wait, that's exactly what Pope said."
"Pope knew?" JJ asked, his voice lowering dangerously.
"No," Lee replied slowly, realizing she had messed up. JJ narrowed his eyes. "Okay, yes. Rafe said something about it that day he and Topper jumped Pope at the golf course, so I had to explain it to him."
JJ turned around, cursing. "I knew he was lying when he said he believed your story about going to Virginia Beach with your mom. He's way too smart for that."
"Thanks," Lee deadpanned. "So I went with Sarah, but she made me go to this party with her when we got back. Like a trade."
"You went to a Kook party?" JJ asked quietly. Lee could see the betrayal in his blue eyes, and she knew it wasn't because it was a party full of Kooks–she knew it was because he had picked her up, high out of her mind, after one too many Kook parties before she got clean to trust her now.
Lee shook her head. "I didn't do anything. I mean, I crushed Topper at Beer Pong, which was pretty epic–"
"You were doing drinking games," JJ said, though it came out as a statement rather than a question.
"Yeah, but not that many, I was totally fine–" Lee defended.
"Seriously, Lee? After everything you went through to get sober? After everything I went through?" JJ said, his shoulders lowering with his defenses. "How'd you get home? At least tell me you didn't drive drunk or some shit."
Lee frowned. "No, never. Sarah and I walked back to her place and I stayed there."
JJ ran a hand through his hair as he analyzed Lee, searching for any signs she was lying. But her hands weren't nervously fidgeting behind her back and she didn't look nervous–well, nervous about the lie. She did seem nervous that he would be angry.
"Whatever, Lee. I believe you. But why would you do that shit without me? That's dangerous," he groaned as Lee smiled.
"I so knew you wouldn't be mad," she said, laughing as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and forced her to start walking backwards down the road.
JJ rolled his eyes. "Shut up. But now I know why you didn't tell the truth in the car. Pope can't keep a secret for the life of him, and you don't want Kie to find out."
Lee nodded affirmatively, turning around to walk forwards. "And I know you won't tell?"
"Of course not," JJ confirmed, locking his arm around Lee's neck and using his opposite hand to give her a noogie. "Bonnie and fuckin' Clyde, baby. You and me 'til the end. Sworn to secrecy."
"Sworn to secrecy," Lee said, pushing JJ off of her as he gave her a comical salute.
She rolled her eyes but gave him a salute in return. She knew that he meant what he said, too. She and JJ were thick as thieves, two peas in a pod, irrevocably attached. Their relationship had been through every trial-and-error experiment that it could be, and trust had won out every time. As JJ pretended to stumble back over to Lee, she broke into a smile and grabbed his bicep to pull him into a kiss.
JJ was never surprised when Lee kissed him—he knew that he was irresistible—and this time was no different. He wrapped one arm tightly around Lee's waist, pulling her body snug against his, and used his opposite hand to cup her jaw and deepen the kiss. She didn't care about the stinging sensation from the cut on her lip or that this would probably reopen the wound. One of her hands tangled itself in his blonde hair as the other tightened its grip on his bicep, desperately wishing that today had been one of the days he'd worn one of the tacky tank tops of his that she usually despised. They broke apart as a pair of headlights came into view, gasping on the side of the road as they stared at each other.
"So, my place?" Lee huffed.
"You know it," JJ replied, putting an arm around her shoulders as they started trudging through the dark, giggling and shoving each other the whole way home.
At this point, JJ spent more nights at Lee or John B's place than he did in his own home. The first time that Lee had gone to JJ's house, his dad had been home and had seen her. He'd called her a slut and gotten into a bit of verbal sparring with JJ, who pushed Lee up the stairs—though, from upstairs, she still heard the cursing, and she still saw his busted lip and bruised eye when he finally came up after her. After that, JJ refused to have Lee over at his house ever again unless it was urgent—and even then, they were careful to sneak up so that his father wouldn't hear her.
Although JJ had never told Lee directly about why he didn't want to go home, she knew. It was clear in the way that he cringed at the mention of his dad and in the bruises on his body after he visited home to retrieve something. Lee never pushed JJ to talk about his home life, figuring that if he wanted to talk to her about it he would, but that didn't stop her from worrying about him. She certainly didn't mind his frequent company, anyways.
That night, her dreams were filled with drowning. She was sinking perpetually through the ocean, waves pressing her deeper, water filling her lungs. When she woke up she was gasping for air, her chest heaving, her heart hammering. JJ woke up next to her and, without question, he wrapped his arms around her, cradling into his chest. Looking up, she drowned all over again in his eyes. She didn't even mind.
For a moment, she thought about JJ. She thought about the night they had met—a legendary kegger at the Boneyard Beach just a month after she had moved to the Cut, when she had gotten into an argument with Rafe about trying to make Pogue friends. John B had come to her defense and, consequently, so had JJ and Pope. Immediately after, JJ had bluntly told Lee that he didn't like her—and she responded that she didn't like him either. Another month later, Lee punched Topper in the face for saying some nasty things about Pogues, and JJ had told her that she wasn't so bad after all. Eight months later, they kissed for the first time at their sophomore Homecoming, and a brand new cycle began.
"Hey, Jay," Lee whispered, piercing the silence of the night.
"Yeah?" JJ murmured, his voice sleepy.
Lee exhaled slowly, burying her forehead in his chest. "Thank you."
JJ slowly lifted his head, looking down at Lee. "What?"
"For giving a shit about me," Lee replied.
"Mmm," JJ mumbled, "what?"
Lee could feel exhaustion slowly creeping over her, but she wanted to tell him this—she needed to. "I give a shit about you," she whispered, barely audible.
It was silent for a moment, and Lee wondered if JJ had even heard her. She wondered if she had said too much.
"I give a shit about you, too," JJ quietly responded.
She fell asleep to the clock shining 4:37 am and JJ breathing softly next to her. When she woke up again, he was gone. She quickly got ready, feeling anxious at the thought of spending a free day. Her mom didn't protest when Lee asked if she could go help out at Heyward's store. As often as Lee got into trouble, she was generally a good kid. Well, as far as her mom knew, Lee was generally a good kid. She had good intentions, even if those intentions sometimes got her into trouble.
The store was bustling when Lee arrived, fishermen bringing in fresh catches and customers arguing over various prices. Lee slid inside, hoping to find Pope. As soon as she was through the door, she caught a glimpse of Pope's favorite hat, followed by a flash of tousled blonde hair.
Lee walked over to the boys, throwing a wave to Kiara, and surprised Pope with a loud, "Heyward!"
Pope whipped around, his eyes wide until he saw Lee. "Lee, dammit!" he complained. "You can't do that to me right now!"
She shrugged apologetically. "My bad, Pope," she said, patting Pope's shoulder playfully. He swatted her hand away. "Anyways," she continued, glancing at the boxes in the boys' hands, "can I help out here?"
Exhaling in relief, Pope said, "Please. Can you just help JJ unload this stuff onto the shelf? I gotta help my dad!" Pope shoved the box in his hands towards Lee, who had barely grabbed it before Pope darted away.
"Hey, Jay," Lee said.
JJ didn't look up from the box that he was unpacking. "How's it hangin'?"
She was glad that there was no weirdness from the previous night. At the time, saying something so intense had seemed appropriate. She had been through a lot and JJ was his usual steady self through it all, proving again and again that Lee could trust him and rely on him. That morning, it had seemed like a mistake—Lee didn't like opening up to people or committing to them. It was selfish, but sometimes it was easier to only rely on herself.
"Lee?" JJ said, dragging her out of her thoughts. "Are you okay?"
She cleared her throat, blinking quickly. "Um... I, uh..." she trailed off, no idea what to say or how to start the conversation.
JJ furrowed his eyebrows in concern. He stood up, his blue eyes boring into hers. "Lee, what's wrong?"
Lee exhaled. She could do this. She could trust him. He wouldn't reject her. "I think we need to talk about what we are," she said, maintaining their eye contact. Her palms were sweaty, so she pressed them against her shorts, trying to wipe them dry.
"What do you mean?" JJ asked calmly, his face not betraying his thoughts.
"I mean," Lee began, glancing around the store, "we need to figure out what we are. What this is," she gestured between them.
Either her point wasn't getting across or JJ was very good at playing dumb. "Sorry, what?" he said. "This?"
Lee coughed, growing impatient. "JJ, what are we?"
JJ shrugged and Lee could see the wheels turning in his head. If JJ's brain was a factory, it would be on fire. "We're friends," he finally said, pursing his lips. He knelt back down, continuing to unpack the box before him.
"C'mon, Jay, you know we're more than that," Lee reiterated, mimicking JJ as she knelt down and shelved a few fishing lures. "There's something here and I think we should talk about it."
A tense silence fell over them for a moment as they continued unpacking. Lee could hear her heartbeat in her ears and she hoped that JJ couldn't hear it, too. JJ had always been a good liar and it was showing then as his facial expression remained neutral. Deny, deny, deny. It was his motto, Lee supposed. Of course he would deny this.
"There's nothing to figure out. We're just friends," JJ said tersely. "Never been anything else."
Lee grabbed the last lure out of her box and she roughly shelved it. "Seriously?"
JJ didn't respond, which incensed Lee even further. She stood up quickly and hissed, "Fine. Have it your way."
Picking up the empty box, Lee marched away from JJ and through the store. She darted outside, finding herself by the dumpster in back. A few customers were milling around by the back door, where a Dutch opening allowed employees to take orders from customers outside. Lee ignored them, hurling the box to the ground and angrily stomping on it.
"Just. Friends," she said angrily, each word accompanied by another angry kick to the box. "If he wants just friends, he'll get it."
She picked the box up, breaking it down with her hands as anger radiated off of her. JJ had been smart not to follow Lee outside—it likely would've meant testing out the punch that he had helped her to perfect. Throwing a sharp punch at the box, Lee accidentally landed a hit on the metal dumpster. She immediately cursed, cradling her knuckles to her chest as they throbbed.
A sob caught in her throat as her anger turned to hurt. It hurt so badly to have been rejected by him. She felt betrayed, abandoned, insecure. JJ had been the only steadfast person in Lee's life since her father's death—her Kook friends had left her, her mother was unstable, her new friends were volatile. Only JJ had always stuck by her side and been loyal. He was steady, reliable, and constant in her ever-changing tide. She so desperately needed him to accept her fully, and suddenly her vulnerability had been rewarded with rejection.
She stood quietly for a moment, sobs shaking her shoulders, until the creak of the door behind her made her look up.
"Lee?" Kiara asked softly. "Are you okay?"
Lee brushed a thumb under her eyes quickly, swiping away any remaining tears. "Yeah, I'm good. What's up?"
Kiara let the door swing shut behind her and came downstairs. "You looked pretty mad at that box."
"Uh, yeah," Lee said, nodding as she glanced at the battered box by her feet. "Papercut."
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Kiara asked, placing a hand on Lee's shoulder.
Lee shrugged. "It's nothing, really. I'm just mad at JJ."
Kiara's eyebrows furrowed. "What—"
The girls looked up as the door opened again to reveal Pope, who was looking at them curiously.
"There you guys are!" he exclaimed. "I was wondering what happened. I figured JJ scared you off."
Lee laughed softly. "Something like that."
Pope nodded, walking down the steps to stand with the girls. "So, there's not much left to do. I was thinking we could—"
"Pope," Mr. Heyward said, suddenly emerging from the store, looking nervous. Lee and JJ made anxious eye contact. "There's someone here for you," Heyward continued.
The door opened wider to reveal two police officers standing behind Heyward. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion as the officers stepped outside and began to cuff Pope. Lee felt like she was moving through quicksand as she attempted to move towards Pope only to find herself blocked by Cole. Kiara shouted at the officers to leave Pope alone, but they ignored her pleas as they lead him around the building and towards a police car.
Lee suddenly lunged forward as she watched Officer Shoupe open the car door, wanting to run to Pope, but Kiara's hands wrapped around her bicep.
"It wasn't him!" JJ shouted, stepping forward. "It was me!"
Lee stared at him, frozen in place, and Kiara slowly dropped her grip on her arm.
"He tried to talk me out of it, but I was mad because he'd just been beaten up," JJ lied, gesturing to Pope. "I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." JJ looked at Pope, who was staring at him in horror. "I can't let you take the blame for somethin' I did. You've got too much to lose."
Pope shook his head frantically. "JJ, what are you doing?"
"I'm tellin' the truth," JJ declared. He glanced over his shoulder at Lee as he said, "For once in my goddamn life, I'm gonna tell the truth." He looked back at Shoupe and Mr. Heyward, smirking slightly. "I took his old man's boat, too."
"What the hell?" Mr. Heyward said, frowning.
Pope protested again. "JJ, come on—"
"Shut up, Pope!" JJ shouted. Lee couldn't move, even though every bone in her body wanted to stop JJ. "He's a good kid," JJ said to the officer, gesturing to Pope. "You know where I'm from."
Shoupe nodded in acknowledgement.
JJ nodded and Lee could see a satisfied smile crossing his face. "This was all me," he said.
Pope pressed his lips together, trying to figure out what JJ was doing.
"That's the whole truth?" Shoupe asked Pope skeptically.
"Whole truth, swear to God," JJ insisted, staring at Pope.
The officer shook his head in frustration. "I know what you think, dammit, I'm asking Pope."
Lee stared at Pope, her eyes begging him to go along with JJ's lie so that they wouldn't get into any more trouble.
Pope glanced nervously between JJ and Lee, swallowing thickly before answering, "Yeah, that about covers it."
Lee exhaled slowly, the shaking in her arms slowing down. As she watched Shoupe remove Pope's handcuffs and move to put them on JJ, however, she stepped forward. She stormed up to the cop car as JJ was sitting down but, before she could say anything, JJ caught her eye over the cop's shoulder. His facial expression warned her to not get involved. Although Lee hesitated, JJ should have known that she always got involved. Lucky for JJ, Heyward came up behind her and grabbed her arms tightly, holding her back as she started towards Shoupe again.
She tugged in frustration at Heyward's grip but paused when he whispered into her ear, "You don't want to do something you'll regret."
Defeated, Lee turned back to helplessly watch the officer close the door on JJ. As soon as the police car had pulled away, Heyward released Lee from his grip. She didn't move, unable to take her eyes off of the back window of the car, hoping that JJ would do something to tell her he was okay—do anything. He didn't. Pope threw his hat to the ground, cursing as he ran back into the store, his dad following close behind. Kiara walked over to Lee and hugged her comfortingly. Lee hugged Kiara back as her mind raced, trying to form a plan.
"Kie, we have to get him out of there," Lee decided, pulling away from Kiara's embrace. "We have to do something!"
Kiara shook her head slowly. "I don't think there's anything we can do," Kiara mumbled. "His dad's probably gonna have to bail him out. Until then, what are a few teenagers gonna manage?"
Lee pressed her lips together in frustration. She didn't want JJ to have to face his father for bail, but Kiara was right—there wasn't much that they could do as teenagers. Their only option would be to pay JJ's bail before his father and there was no way that Lee could scrounge up enough money to do so. Her thoughts racing too quickly for her to process and frustrated tears threatening to spill, Lee mumbled a short goodbye to her friends and ran home. Neither Pope nor his dad tried to stop her–they both knew she cared deeply about JJ and needed her space.
Bursting through the front door, Lee ignored her mother's greeting and went straight to her room. She closed her door, leaning back against it and sliding to the ground as her tears began to spill over. She couldn't imagine what JJ's dad would do when he bailed him out. She couldn't imagine what the police officers were saying to him.
Would he have done it if not for what she'd just said? If she had just stayed in the store instead of leaving? If she hadn't mentioned them at all? He probably would have. As much as he tried to hide it, JJ cared about his friends more than anyone else. He had saved Pope from a fate that would have dashed all hopes of going to college on a merit scholarship. But what would doing this cost JJ?
Her mother knocked at her door and a muffled, "Lee? Are you okay?" drifted through the crack.
Lee couldn't respond, simply letting her head fall against her knees as her shoulders shook with sobs. Eventually, she heard her mother's footsteps retreat down the stairs.
She had never before been as angry with JJ as she had been at the store. She felt so betrayed by the first person that she had opened up to in so long. He had taken all of her words, all of their moments, and thrown them back in her face. And then to see the hurt in his eyes right before the police had arrived—that look would linger with her forever, she was sure of it. She was sure that it wasn't the last time she would see JJ, but how could she let an argument be the thing that he left on? Isn't it better to leave after an argument is resolved than to march away in the middle of it?
She was distraught. Torn between being angry and confused and lost all at once. Feeling nothing and feeling everything. Her heart was breaking for JJ, breaking over him. She wanted to hold him and push him away.
Glancing up, Lee saw JJ's hoodie flung over a chair in the corner of her room. She stumbled to it, pulling it on haphazardly and inhaling deeply. It still smelled faintly like him. She wrapped herself in the hoodie, not caring that warm air was fluttering through her window, not caring that her tears were dripping onto it. She curled up on the floor and grasped the ring hanging from her neck, a ball of feeling all too much and nothing at all, and laid there for hours. Eventually she fell asleep, her eyes puffy from crying and her arms hugging herself tightly, JJ's hoodie enveloping her with warmth.
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Updated 8/17/22. If you see this note and realize this book has been updating as you have been reading, I recommend going back to the beginning to reread the changes. Otherwise, please look at the pinned message on my profile for more information on updates to "The Deep End."