driving through figure eight, i figured the group would drop me somewhere and get on with the rest of their day. but instead, john b kept driving over to the other side of the island.
"ever been to the south side before, willow?" he asked.
"no," i stated. "i haven't been anywhere really."
"well then, let me be the first to introduce you to the home of the pogues."
"pogues?" i echoed.
"the first thing you should know about outer banks is there's two groups. the kooks and the pogues. the kooks are the rich kids, who live on the other side. kie's technically from the kook side, but she's one of us. we're the pogues, pogies, pogue fish, the lowest member of the food chain."
i nodded, trying to decide whether or not it was worth mentioning that i would also, by definition, be a kook.
"so, the downside of pogue life is we're ignored and neglected. but, the upside of pogue life? we're ignored and neglected, which means we do whatever we want." he smirked.
"sounds like a blast. but doesn't that make me a kook, then?"
the moment i asked, i wished i'd never even been born. the silence in the van was so thick i could've cut it with a knife.
"your family's rich then, huh?" jj asked.
tough question, dude.
"something like that."
"well, in my experience, it doesn't matter that much." kie said. "you're new, right? so that means there's still time to shelter you from the stuck up, egocentric, country club dwellers that are the kooks."
i stifled a laugh at her description of the kooks. leila and mike seemed nice enough, but i had only spent a grand total of three minutes at their house, clearly not enough time to know if they actually were.
"where'd you move from?" pope questioned.
chicago, boston, new hampshire, and indiana.
"chicago." i said, deciding to go with the city i was born in.
"ooh, city chick. that's hot." jj said, receiving multiple glares from the rest of the group.
"ignore him, we all do." john b advised. "we're gonna go out on the boat. you want in?"
"yeah." i smiled, probably the first real one in a while. "yeah i want in."
and the idea did sound good, until we actually got to it.
i had actually never been on a boat before, which i made glaringly obvious with my hesitance to get on when we reached the dock.
"it's alright, darling. you can hold my hand if you want to." jj smirked. and even though i knew it was just empty flirting, i was about ready to take him up on the offer.
"but what if it, you know, sinks or something?"
"can you swim?" john b asked, not even trying to hide his amusement.
"yeah, but what if i can't-" i started before being cut off by someone grabbing me around the waist. in the next second, i was in jj's hold, my arms wrapped around his neck and a high pitched yelp escaping me. he stepped off the dock and onto the boat.
"looky there," he smiled. "you're one the boat."
"fantastic." i mumbled. "you can put me down now."
"right, yeah, of course." he fumbled, before regaining his natural, cocky persona.
"welcome aboard." john b said as he started up the boat. "and congrats on your first day as a pogue."
~w~
though i did try, i never went back to leila and mike's house after we got off the boat. i started by convincing myself that it was the right thing to do, even though it was the last thing i wanted to do.
then came the challenge of remembering where the house was. looking back, not writing down the address or, hell, even looking at it was not my best call.
i walked up and down over ten different streets and came to the conclusion that every house on the side of the island looked the exact same. i wouldn't say that i was worried until it started getting dark and and the wind started to pick up.
i wandered aimlessly for a while. some time later after it had already gotten fully dark, i'd guess around 8:30, i had ended up down a road with only a few houses on it, each of which looked like its own castle.
yet again, my calves were burning, and the rest of my body felt like it was in the negative degrees. my teeth were obnoxiously clattering and i didn't know where to go from here. stopped in the middle of the road, i thought that things could not possibly get worse.
and then the rain started.
unlike the rain everywhere else i'd lived, where it started slowly and built up, this rain started strong and fast. the bigger the drop, the more it hurt landing on me. it reminded me of the third home i went to. as i thought about it, i could feel myself getting worked up.
and suddenly, my breathing was going at a rapid pace and it felt like every muscle in my body had tensed up.
it was almost midnight and i was still sitting outside on the porch. touching my hand to my cheek, i practically hissed at the pain that erupted.
andrew had locked me out almost nine hours ago and within that time, the sun had gone down completely. it was the middle of the winter and it was brutal in new hampshire.
while trying to clean the top of the refrigerator, to avoid a different form of punishment, one of his bottles of gin slipped and shattered on the kitchen floor.
andrew was in the room in a split second, his hand wrapping within my hair and pulling me outside, a stream of derogative remarks about me leaving his mouth.
"i don't mean to, i swear. it was an accide-" i started. his fist colliding with my cheekbone cut me off pretty damn fast.
he said nothing else to me as he tossed me outside, watching me stumbled over my feet and fall down the short row of steps. after he'd shut the door, i sat on the porch for a couple minutes, maybe an entire hour, before i got up to go inside. i figured it would've been enough time for him to drink himself into sleep, or at least a haze.
but when i twisted the handle, it was locked.
so, i waited out all night, feeling the freezing wind and snow fall upon me, crying myself to sleep. i called sharon the next morning.
when i came back to reality, i was still in the middle of the road, just on my hands and knees this time. sobs racked through my body as the steady poor of rain continued.
i'd seen enough movies to know that this was the part where people would wish to be home with their family.
but i didn't have anybody to wish for. i'm not sure i ever did.
"holy shit!" a voice exclaimed from so far away, i thought i had imagined it. "it's a storm, what are you doing?are you okay? hey, can you hear me?" they continued yelling as they ran closer.
i turned my head, trying to see where or who the person was. as i stared, a girl emerged, seemingly out of the dark, and crouched down beside me.
"what are you doing?" she cried. "come on, come with me." she said, pulling me up to my feet and guiding me toward where she'd come from.
"i- i'm lost." i choked.
"it's ok. i'm gonna bring you inside. i'm sarah." she smiled.
this one's a little better than the first, but still not where i want it to be. but that's ok.
also, thank you guys so much for all the reads, votes, and comments. they mean so much!