I grabbed myself a glass of water before going back to the office. I was panicking inside and counting every minute that passed without the Commander in the office. "What was I thinking?" I whispered to myself, massaging my head. "That fucking sobered me up." I groaned. A knock on the door, made me jump, and I abruptly turned my head to see the Commander.
He walked in and sat behind his desk. I continued working, giving all my focus on the data, the deafening sound of silence in the office made me even more anxious than I already was. I was feeling super tensed and my legs wouldn't stop shaking.
"Lieutenant —" His voice startled me, causing me to jolt and fall off my chair. "Ouch!" I groaned, I was going to get up but I accidentally bumped my head on the desk. I let out another groan before fixing my chair and sitting up, "Sorry — I-I fell." I stuttered. I heard him let out a short laugh, before clearing his throat. I looked at him surprised, "You laughed." I commented.
"I did not, I humoured myself." He said, "Humo —what? No, you just did. You, Commander Spock, just felt funny. Do it again." I said and he raised his head to look at me. "It was an uncontrollable reaction." He muttered.
I smiled. "So you do get out of control too." I said enthusiastically, "laugh again." He looked at me with his normal intimidating look, before going back to his paper works. We fell silent again for a few minutes, only the rustling of the papers was heard.
"No, I still do not." He suddenly said, making me confused, "Sorry?" I said, hoping he'd elaborate. "No, I do not feel anything even during and after the osculate —"
"HAAAASH!" I screamed, his eyes widened from my reaction. "DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT — t-th-that — that — that never happened. God, please. How can you say it bluntly," I rumbled on my words, covering my face in embarrassment, "And what if someone hears? Goddamnit."
"I simply answered your question a while ago. You immediately left so I was not able to say that no, I still do not." He said, I heavily sighed in embarrassment, the picture wouldn't stop appearing in my head, "That was a misconduct —"
"Youkissedmebacksolookwho'stalking." I mumbled under my breath. "...That is a second warning, do not do it again." He said. "Yeah, like as if I'd do it again." I groaned, rolling my eyes at him, "Hey wait, why's it the second warning? What's my first violation?" I asked, "Your tardiness." He said.
"I'm sorry." I muttered. "Apology accepted."
"Can you... I don't know, tell me about yourself?" I said, trying to make casual conversation. "Well I was born on Vulcan in the ye-"
"Not like that, your outlooks, your story, anything, don't tell me everything you put in a biodata." I said. He paused to think.
"I have nothing to tell you then." The enthusiasm that I felt waiting for his story rushed out my body. I rolled my eyes. "You're boring." I remarked. "Not if you put it that way." He said, focusing back on his papers.
"About the Heinans... How were you immediately able to tell that was them?" He asked, "I grew a huge interest in cultures and lives from different galaxies. Hein was just one of the many planets that I studied about." I started, "Quite interesting, a contact with Heinans can immediately freeze your part that touched them. I'm glad we came out from Hein safely." I said, he nodded. "Did you find interest in Vulcan?" He asked, I gulped so hard he must've heard it. No, I never grew interest in Vulcan.
"Okay, I don't want you to be mad but I would've liked Vulcan A LOT MORE if you... if you weren't my teacher." I said, covering my face. He didn't say anything so I peaked through my fingers and saw that he was just browsing through his paper work. I removed my hands from my face and sighed, "You... You were a really great teacher, but sometimes you were too... Uhmm... Serious."
"Is that why you were always asleep?" He asked, finally looking at me. My eyes widened, He sees me? "Well... No... A little? I still self-studied, okay? How do you think I perfected your exams?" I said, rolling my eyes. He didn't say anything, instead, he just want back to his work.
"Sometimes, I imagine what your forehead looks like." I wondered, "Do you want me to cut your fringe off? I do have a little background in cutting hairs." I said. "I had a fringe before and my forehead caught billions of pimples before a Month even passed, it was horrible. I bet yours have too." I said. "My skin is far different from yours, Lieutenant, perfect, as you'd put it." "Wow." I sarcastically said. "You're really something."
"If you may just refrain from talking a lot, especially if it's totally random and unrelated to our business, we might finish with the paper work faster." He said. I rolled my eyes and quietly went back to work.
***
"Hi Lany." I turned around to see Captain Kirk walking towards me. I had just walked out of the office to take a break from work and the Commander — honestly just to take a break from the Commander. "Hi" I smiled, "Are you going somewhere?" He asked, "Not really, just taking a break."
"How are you and Spock?"
"You ask like as if there's an existing relationship." I chuckled, shaking my head a little. "You'll be friends, trust me."
"I hardly think so, he can't even engage in a conversation."
"Spock is just... well, he's Spock." He said, making me laugh. "How did you guys become friends with him?" I asked. "We worked together, it just happened, I don't really know, and everyone else really, it was just time. As of Uhura, I don't know when they became friends but they were dating when I first got into this ship." He said, making me stop walking. "Did they really? Like date-date? Boyfriends and girlfriends?" He laughed at my reaction, "They did. It's impossible to believe but they really did." "I can't even imagine him liking anyone." I said.
"By the way, aren't you supposed to be at the bridge?" I asked, he shrugged, "I should be, but I do get my breaks too like everyone else." He says. "Good job, by the way. On your first mission at Hein. You did great." He praised. "You did great too." I said. "How are you feeling anyway?"
"I'm feeling fine, my waist still hurts a bit but it should be fine in a week or so."
"That's good to know. We're actually looking for a planet we could possibly stop by for research, do you want to come down if we find any?" He asked, "Can I?" I asked excitedly. "Of course."
"Who's coming with us?"
"Spock." And with that, my excitement was gone. "Is Lieutenant Uhura coming?" I asked, "Maybe."
"How about Bones?"
"He hates being beamed so I don't think so."
"Shame. I might try to convince him."
"This is my stop. Thanks for the walk, Captain." I said, standing at the door of Spock's office. "Thank you for sharing your time." He smiled. I entered Spock's office to see him talking to Lieutenant Uhura, "Oh sorry, I should've knocked. I-I'll come back later." I said, feeling embarrassed.
Now I feel even more like cringing at the fact that I kissed that man, he was my friend's boyfriend. "No, stay. We're done talking." Uhura said, standing up from her seat. "I'll see you around, Lany." She smiled, before opening the door to leave.
I awkwardly sat at my chair, trying to make my breathing as quiet as possible. "You... I heard about you and Lieutenant Uhura. Uhm... You can talk to me about it if you want." I said, breaking the silence we were engulfed in. I was assuming he was heartbroken so he might want to vent out. "That would benefit neither of us." He said. "It might, I mean, you get to express yourself and I... I listen."
"Expressing will not help my situation."
"I mean, yes, technically, but expressing will lessen your burden." I said, only looking at what I was working on. "You know, bottling what you feel never helps. You only get more affected by it. It's good to talk about your feelings once in a while. My grandma used to tell me, I'd explode if I kept bottling what I feel." I faintly laughed. "Exploding is impossible."
"Well not literally exploding. She meant to say, like... uh... Can you just understand that it's not literal, it's so hard to find an explanation." I whined, looking up, "She just simply means you'd go all messed up and stuff."
He gave me a nod and went back to his work. "So... do you want to talk about it?" I asked again, "Talk about what?" He asked back. I inhaled sharply, trying not to be frustrated at him since he was emotionally broken. "Lieutenant Uhura."
"We are currently at work. Talking about unnecessary stuffs will just decrease our productivity." He said, disclosing the conversation. "Then pretend we're not at work. Hi, Commander Spock. I'm your friend Nova. How've ya been?" I said. He shot me a look that lasted for a few seconds before focusing back at his papers. "Pssh." I gave up and went back to what I was doing. I was almost done with my paper works, just 2 more to go before he gives me more batches. Yay.
"Have you ever gone through a, what you humans would say, break-up?" He asked, "I never had a boyfriend." I laughed and he was left staring at me, "How old are you?" He asked, "I'm 24, sir."
"And you never have had a boyfriend? Was our kiss then, your first kiss?" I brought my hands to my face with embarrassment and let out a groan, "I told you not to talk about that, Commander Spock." I whined. "But was it?"
"Why would it even matter?"
"I am honoured to be someone's first."
I looked at him, totally weirded out. Did he really say he was honoured? "I'll just pretend I did not here that. Going back to your original question, sir, I've never had a boyfriend so I never experienced break-ups but my best friend did. Like at least twice a year, she'd come to me crying." I answered, diverting the topic. "What was the reason for the relationship being terminated?" He asked again, "Well... the first time she came to me crying was because her boyfriend cheated on her, cheating is when —"
"Yes, I know what it means." He said, cutting me off. "Really? What does it mean then?"
"It is breaking a rule or a law to gain more; doing things unfairly." I sighed. "No. In a relationship, cheating means... Let's say you and I were dating.. For example... And I entertain another man or I get into a relationship with another man with or without you knowing." I explained, he nodded.
"Anyway, her next relationships were just ended because of differences... you know, in likes, in dreams, in things. Or sometimes, they'd just have a misunderstanding but because of lack of communication, they weren't able to patch things up. You know, I may not have been in a relationship, I still feel like I had because I know everything going on with my best friend's. Weird, but she likes to vent. So what was yours and Lieutenant Uhura's reason?"
"I will just put it in, let us say... a misunderstanding." He said. "Fix it. You're literally in the same ship. You're working at the same place. You're in the same place. Seriously, how can you break-up when you can see each other every day?" I asked. "The relationship was over long ago, Lieutenant."
"But do you still love her?"
"I have no comment on the matter."
I sighed, not forcing an answer anymore. "Sorry." I muttered. I went back to my paperwork, this time, really working silently and focused. All that I was anticipating for now was dismissal so I could take a break. A lot has happened today, weird.