if you want to listen to newt's playlist look up "school wall" on spotify created by me
Newt was at his lunch spot again, his headphones were in when someone sat down next to him.
Newt's eyes widened as he realized it was Chuck.
"Hey," Newt said softly, not wanting to be a dick this time.
Chuck's eyes were red and he was breathing heavily. "I gotta know Newt."
"Know what Chuck?" Newt asked, his heart rate picking up.
"Did you know?"
"Did I know what?"
"That he was gonna do it?"
Newt furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"
"Did you know Aris was gonna kill himself?"
"Chuck..." Newt started, but trailed off. Aris didn't kill himself, Newt was sure of that, but he wasn't sure how much exactly to tell Chuck. He didn't want someone to find Chuck's lifeless body days from now because that would be more blood on his hands. More dead kids and more unanswered questions.
"You did, didn't you? You fucking KNEW Newt you KNEW and y-you didn't say anything!"
"What?! Chuck no I swear!"
Chuck wiped his eyes and let out a breath. "I'm sorry...I'm just trying to make sense of it all."
"Did you ever think...like you know?" Newt asked carefully as he handed Chuck the roll of oreos that he had in his lunch.
"Did I think he'd ever do that? No! And the thing is I keep going over stuff in my head and he never showed any signs...he wasn't really ever sad and he was pretty upbeat most of the time."
Newt nodded. "I guess sometimes there aren't any signs."
"Or I'm just a shit friend for not picking up on them."
"You really think he killed himself?" Newt asked gently.
"I mean yeah, the h-hole was right in his head and the gun was kinda still in his hand."
Newt bit his lip, he had a million questions he wanted to ask but he knew he couldn't. "Did you see it Chuck?"
Chuck nodded. "Yeah, I saw him, I walked into his room and he was there on the chair-" Chuck choked out a little sob. "It looked like it was out of a movie, there was no blood on the walls and he looked fine except for the hole in his head. I barely even noticed it at first."
Newt bit his lip. Something wasn't adding up. If Aris actually shot himself at that range, his skull would have been blown off and blood would have been everywhere. Headshot wounds that close up are messy, they aren't neat little bullets. That meant Aris wasn't killed in his house.
"There's nothing you could have done," Newt said gently. "You were a good friend to him, I bet he cared about you a lot."
Chuck dropped his head into his hands. "I-I can't believe it. Like I keep imagining that he's gonna call me or text me and we can play the game together."
"I know," Newt said because he did. He really did. "I'm sorry."
Chuck shook his head. "No, actually I came over here to apologize. I didn't know how badly this hurt and I kept bugging you about your sister. I was insensitive."
"It's okay, it's just a sore subject, makes me think of her more than I'd like to. Everytime I do I get sad."
Chuck let out a long breath. "Yeah, it really fucking sucks."
"Tell me about it," Newt huffed.
"You'd tell me right?" Chuck asked softly. "You'd tell me if you knew more about this?"
Newt nodded. "Yeah Chuck, of course I would." Newt felt his stomach twist, he was only half lying.
"Can I finish lunch out here with you, I know you like to be left alone, but I just-"
Newt cut him off. "Yeah sure, it's fine Chuck you don't have to ask." Newt handed him one of his headphones and smiled softly. "Here, wanna listen? Usually when I want to forget things for a while I listen to music."
Chuck nodded and put the earbud in his ear. They sat against the wall in silence, just looking out at the sports fields. Newt throught about Minho, he was worried sick about his stupid friend. He had no idea where he was and Minho hadn't gone a day without texting them since they met let alone five. Yeah it had been five days then.
"This is a good song," Chuck said softly.
"It is good," Newt agreed.
"You have a good playlist."
Newt nodded. "Helps shut the world out for a bit huh?"
"Yeah, it's nice."
"Can you send it to me?" Chuck asked as he turned a little bit towards Newt.
"Yeah of course Chuck."
Newt looked down at the time, lunch was over. "We gotta go."
Chuck huffed a little. "I know."
They were quiet as they got up. "Hey Chuck?"
"Yeah?" The chubby boy turned around. He looked so tired, his eyes were empty and Newt recognized that look because he used to see the same thing in the mirror.
"It does; get better, I mean."
Chuck smiled softly.
Sometimes it was okay to lie.
________
"We need to fucking do something!" Teresa said as she let out a breath.
"Okay yeah I agree," Thomas replied.
"We gave each other our names for a reason, why don't we try to find him?" Newt asked as he opened a new tab on his computer.
"I think Newt is right on this one," Thomas agreed. "We did that for literally this reason."
"I tried calling him, he gave me his phone number that one time to send me that picture. He never replied." Teresa let out a shaky breath. "He's probably fine."
"But we need to plan for him if he's not," Newt added in. "This stuff is serious."
"As long as you don't blame yourself Newt," Teresa said. "This was all of our choice, we're in this together okay? All of us. None of us wanted a way out. We all wanted to be a part of this."
"I guess." Newt already did blame himself. Of course he did, this whole thing felt like his fault. Minho was, well somewhere, and it only happened because Newt roped them into helping look for who killed his sister. Maybe the whole thing was a bad idea. I mean, Newt was the common factor in all of this. In all honesty, he felt like it should have been him, not Minho. Where ever the fuck Minho was and whoever the fuck had him didn't deserve to have him, Newt should have been in that place. Minho had never done anything but help, in the beginning he sold his fucking DEATH CURE armor to buy that pack. Whatever was going on, it wasn't Minho's fault.
"You totally blame yourself," Thomas pointed out.
Newt huffed out a little laugh. "How'd you know."
"Because I know you."
"And we know he won't feel better until we find Minho, so let's make that happen because I can't handle my little Newtie sad," Teresa tried not to laugh at her own statement.
"If you ever fucking call me that again I will vomit," Newt scoffed.
"She's a psychopath," Thomas added in which actually made Newt laugh.
"Excuse me Thomas, stop trying to hijack Newt and my friendship, you can have him tomorrow, he's mine today."
"I hate you guys," Newt muttered as he typed "Minho Park" into the search bar on his computer.
"I'm gonna try and track his phone," Teresa said, her tone dropping to one more serious than it was before.
Newt nodded even though they couldn't see him. "I'm gonna try and find something on him online. Maybe an article or something, maybe he got an award..."
They all burst out laughing.
"There's no fucking way Minho got an award," Thomas said between small laughs.
"Maybe for being the most annoying," Teresa added, which made Thomas laugh again.
Newt felt his lips pull up in a small smile. Thomas had a nice laugh. Newt could really get used to listening to it.
"I feel like the person we need is Minho, he's good with computers, I'm trash," Thomas admitted as he huffed in frustration.
"Seriously, he'd be so good at this."
Silence fell over them, the elephant in the room hanging over them making the quiet thick.
"I miss him," Thomas suddenly said breaking the silence.
Teresa's voice cracked. Newt was afraid she'd start crying again. "I-I do too."
"Same," Newt mumbled softly.
It wasn't the same without Minho's stupid jokes or innaprporiate comments. Newt kinda missed his extremely vulgar flirting and beyond dirty add-ins.
"Minho said he lives in Pennsylvania right?" Thomas asked as he typed loudly on his keyboard.
"Yeah I think so," Teresa confirmed. "I guess that narrows it down to a state at least."
Newt typed in Minho Park Pennsylvania into his search bar.
"Wait guys I think I have his facebook," Newt said somewhat excitedly. The profile picture was of squidward taking a selfie but the name was Minho Park and the location said Erie Pennsylvania.
"Where's Erie?" Newt asked quickly.
"Uh on the coast I think, like on the lake-ish," Thomas replied.
"I think he lives in that city."
Newt scrolled down and went to other friends. Seong Park was the top choice. He clicked on it and smiled as he saw a Korean woman smiling with her hair in a messy bun. She had her hands on the shoulders of a little boy who was smiling so big his eyes were closed. He had a horrible bowl cut and was wearing a t-shirt with ketchup all down the front of it. She hadn't posted in years. Newt remembered with a sickening feeling in his gut, Minho's parents were dead.
Newt smiled softly as he looked at the picture, it was the only picture on the page but baby Minho was so cute. Newt wondered what he looked like now.
"Okay yeah, this has got to be him. He doesn't have much on it, but at least we have the city and..." Newt grinned. "The high school. It's on his facebook."
"What is it?!" Thomas asked excitedly.
"Glade High?"
"That's a lame ass sounding school," Teresa said but the relief in her voice was evident. "I wasn't able to track his phone, it seems like it's off."
"The school is about five hours away from my house," Newt said as he plugged it into google maps.
"Where do you live Newt?"
"Buffalo New York."
"I'm from Albany!" Thomas exclaimed.
"I'm from Cleveland Ohio which isn't far from there either."
Newt felt that awful stomach twist again. "A-are we really gonna do this?"
"We're gonna meet up and find Minho," Teresa said sternly. "We have to. We owe it to him."
Newt let out a long breath. "That's terrifying."
"Hey," Teresa said gently. "Insecurities aside, Minho needs us. We owe this to him. If he's in danger we're the only ones that would even know it so we need to go and help him."
"What do we do when we get to the school?" Thomas asked, he sounded like he was deep in thought.
"Well here's the plan that I'm thinking of. Thomas you go to Newt's house first because it's on the way, then you two can get down to Erie together and I'll meet you there at some point. We can get a hotel. Maybe Newt can message some of Minho's facebook friends and try and find his address. We could probably show up to his house and tell his grandma we're friends from school or something. We can say we're trying to surprise him or something. I can think of an excuse," Teresa explained.
"Okay when do you want to do this? We can do it like soon," Thomas said. "We should do it soon. We really don't know how much time Minho has."
"I agree," Teresa said. "Like Thomas should leave tomorrow."
Newt's throat was so tight.
"L-like Tommy is coming over tomorrow?" Newt was able to croak out.
"Yes."
"Only if that's okay Newt, we can leave right from your house, maybe eat first. I can take the train tomorrow morning to your city. Can you just pick me up from the train station?"
"Yeah you guys can eat then text me when you're leaving and I'll leave too."
"Yeah that's fine with me," Newt said as he clenched his teeth. Teresa was right, it wasn't time for insecurities it was time to fucking help their friend.
"On the way home you can spend the night at my house Tommy, so you don't have to travel too far without sleeping."
"Thanks." Newt could practically feel Thomas smiling.
"If it all goes well maybe we can spend the weekend at Minho's house," Teresa suggested.
"He couldn't be far, I feel like if he went missing totally then someone could have posted something on the news," Newt said, mostly trying to reassure himself. "I didn't find any missing posters so maybe he's still in his town."
"Tomorrow. We can do this tomorrow. Thomas can you skip school?" Teresa asked.
"Yeah, I'll tell my mom I'm going to a track meet or something. Let's exchange phone numbers and make a groupchat, Newt I can text you when I get to the train station."
"Don't forget to text me when you leave Newt's house!" Teresa exclaimed.
"Yeah okay." Newt nodded. "This has to happen, we have to make sure Minho is okay."
"Road trips are fun!" Teresa added in. She took a deep breath then. "Okay so listen I know that this is serious and we need to focus on Minho, but I'm really excited to see you guys. I'm giving you the biggest hugs ever."
"Newt when I get off the train tomorrow and see you I might actually tackle you," Thomas said before laughing a little bit. "Wow yeah now I'm excited."
"If Minho's okay, this is going to be the best weekend of my life," Teresa pointed out.
"Me too," Newt said, surprising himself when he did. He meant it, he actually meant it. He wanted to hug them actually, he wanted to pair faces with the personalities he'd come to love.
"Get some sleep you fucking losers, I'll see you tomorrow," Teresa said as she logged off.
"I hope you give good hugs Newt," Thomas said before leaving the part.
Newt's stomach was in his throat.
He'd be in Thomas' arms tomorrow.
_____
When Newt crept upstairs finally he found his mom on the couch.
"Hey," he said softly as he sat next to her. "I have something to ask."
"Sure honey," she smiled sadly but turned to face him anyways.
"Can I have a friend over tomorrow?"
"A friend?" His mom cocked her head. "Eden?"
"No uh, his name is Tomm-Thomas."
"Just a friend?"
Newt flushed and looked down. "Yes mum! Just a friend."
"Of course honey. I'll make dinner. Will he be staying?"
New shrugged. "We were gonna spend the weekend at my friend Minho's house if that's fine. He might spend a night here before going back home to Albany."
"Oh he's from Albany?"
Newt nodded. "We uh, we play the game together. Almost everyday actually."
His mom gave him a slight knowing smile. "Keep the door open Issac."
Newt flushed again. "Mum what the hell?!"
"Oh come on, it's written all over your face, you like him."
"Please stop, we are not having this conversation right now!" Newt rubbed his cheeks to try and make the red go away. Newt took a deep breath then. "I wish I could ask Lizzy."
His mom looked shocked at that. "What?"
"You know...about boys and stuff. I miss having her around for that."
"She'd love it if you asked her about that." His mom smiled softly. "Probably get too involved in it, you know how she was."
Newt felt himself smiling too. "She'd probably interrogate him as soon as he walked in the door."
"Probably harass him until he admitted he liked you."
"She'd threaten him." Newt laughed a little bit. It felt good, talking to his mom about his sister in a positive way.
"Is he cute?"
"Doesn't really matter," Newt answered honestly. "I like him a lot."
"I raised you so well."
Newt felt his chest twist at that. "Yeah?"
His mom nodded and gently pulled Newt into her side. "Yeah. I love you so much. I know it's been hard."
Newt scoffed. "Yeah, you could say that."
"A mother is never supposed to outlive her children," Newt's mom added in quietly. "Their hearts aren't built to handle it."
"I think you're doing great mum."
"You make it easier Issac, I know you hate that name. I know your sister made it her main mission to love and protect you, so it gives me reason to do it twice as much."
"At least you don't tease me like she did." Newt shook his head as he remembered everytime Lizzy would pinch his cheeks til they were red or hit him with her bed pillows.
"She was such a good big sister."
"She didn't kill herself," Newt blurted out.
His mom was quiet for a second before she let out a long breath. "I know she didn't."
"You do?!" Newt sat up straighter, looking shocked.
His mom nodded. "Of course she didn't kill herself. She would never willingly leave you."
"Do you know-"
"No. I don't know what happened. I'm not even sure if I want to know. All I know is that Elizabeth didn't do that to herself so I can feel like I didn't fail as a mother."
"I thought only I knew it," Newt admitted in awe. "Why didn't you say anything before?"
"Because if someone wanted to kill your sweet innocent sister, I knew I needed to keep you away from that too. Pretending it was a suicide seemed like the best option."
Newt bit his lip but in a way he agreed.
"Can you promise me one thing honey?" His mom asked, her eyes locking on his. It sent chills down Newt's spine.
"Yeah?"
"Whatever the hell she got herself into, please stay far far away from it."