4-19-1844
Mr. Deschamps,
Surely you do not mean for myself to personally deliver your forgotten jacket? I do believe that such a request, even in a polite society such as ours, is slightly outrageous! I too, have several responsibilities which keep me occupied during this time of year. Last I recall, I do not recieve any sort of monthly wage from you, and as such I am not obliged to obey your every whim. Please send postage with your reply, lest your precious jacket find itself on the back of a freezing orphan beggar who needs it much more than yourself.
Sincerely,
Mr. Edric Baier
P.S. I do believe I have spotted the perfect candidate across the street from my window. Especially grimy, this one is.