"Will you be all right here?" there was an obvious concern in Lisa's voice when she ask her that while putting some of clothes and other personal stuffs inside a medium size traveling bag.
It's been more than a month since she moved in in Jennie's unit, they still sleep in seperate bedrooms tho. Finally she manage to make her agree to let her stay with her because she's slightly having trouble with her morning sickness.
At first they always fight, since Jennie likes junk food and she herself is an health conscious. Most of the time she sleeps late at night as she likes to read books in her bed, and if Lisa won't scare her by telling that she will sleep with her she wouldn't put the book down. One more thing that they always argue about is Jennie being a neat freak. She hates to see her mess so most of the times she's so annoyed at her everytime she forgets to put her dirty clothes straight to the hamper, or when she wouldn't washed the pots and frying pan she used on cooking instantly.
Finally they decided to have an agreement. She will cook and Jennie will clean the house. She won't meddle in everything she will cook and she would eat anything that she will prepare, as long as Lisa won't meddle in whatever type of noon snack and midnight snack Jennie will have, which was mostly junk food.
But they don't just fight most of the time. They both enjoyed watching old movies while munching on popcorns, or sometimes they would play Monopoly or Scrabble.
The only thing that's missing between the two of them is to sleep on the same bed, and they would be like couples and of course, marriage. Jennie has been very adamant that their set would be purely platonic only, and she couldn't do anything but to agree with her, for the meantime.
But it doesn't mean that Lisa couldn't take advantage of the situation. Whenever she sees a chance she would grope her here and there, regardless of any half hearted protest that she usually make after. She couldn't seem to get enough of her. Lisa always wanted to sniff Jennie's scent like an addict, to locked her soft body with her arms, to claimed her lips which most of the time gives her an unexplainable happiness.
But what she liked the most were the change in her body during her pregnancy. Though she's just almost four months along she already manage to convince Jennie to wear maternity dress, mainly because she wanted to proudly show off to everyone that they were about to become parents. She always wanted to carress her tummy, sometimes she would even put her ears on Jennie's stomach and talked to their baby inside, even though she couldn't feel even a low beating of life from it.
That's why she didn't want to leave her even for just three days. But Chansung called, there was a problem on their farm and her presence was needed.
Actually, it's fine even if she won't go to Jeju, she could take care of everything even with just a phone call, but Lisa decided to put a distance between her and Jennie for the mean time. Her whole self doesn't like the idea, but her mind knew that it would be for the best.
Jennie is now being the center of her life. Her world revolves around her. Jennie and their baby. It could've been fine if only they share the same feeling, but it seems like her defense was still strong. With her, going away for a few days she was hoping that she would make Jennie realize that even just for a little that she likes her, and maybe when she gets back she would see the emotions in her that she had been wishing for to see.
"Of course I'll be fine." Jennie answered her question bravely. "I'm used to being alone, remember?"
"What if your morning sickness attack again?" Lately, Jennie doesn't get nauseated anymore, but still she's worried.
"The doctor said that I should be free from morning sickness by the fourth month and I'm hoping that she's right. You have nothing to worry about, okay?"
"Will you miss me?" She ask while zipping her bag.
"Don't be silly. You'll be gone for three days only." she immediately denied. "And why would I even miss you?"
Lisa shook her head while smiling with her answer. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the bed beside Jennie. She took a hold on both of her hands and brought them up to place a kiss on each of her knuckles.
"Maybe I should leave you something to think of while I'm gone."
"What is--"
Lisa suddenly pinned Jennie down the bed. Before she could even react she had already captured her lips with her own, her tongue roaming around her sweet mouth while her hands doing wanders around her body. When finally she felt that Jennie was kissing her back it made her feel even more brave. Lisa pulled the pregnant woman's shirt above her head, released her full bre@st which are confined in her bra, and immediately put one of her hardened tips inside her mouth and sucked them like a hungry child.
Jennie was lost too. Eagerly, she rip open the polo Lisa was wearing removing the sports bra along with it and touched her chest down to her abs while her other hand was gripping her hair to pull her even closer to her chest.
When did Lisa manage to remove her cotton shorts, she had no idea. Jennie only felt that her warm hand was already inside her panty and playing with her feminity.
"Lisa...." she moan out her name while taking in all the sensation she was making her feel.
Lisa took the chance while she was so lost. She immediately took off all of their remaining clothes and started claiming her body that she had been longing to possessed again for so long.
********
It's already dark when Jennie woke up. She was lying on Lisa's bed, her naked body was covered with her blanket, and one of her hand was hugging the pillow which Lisa always use. Her clothes are neatly folded on top of the bed beside for feet. But even just the shadow of Lisa is nowhere to be found.
Lazily, she picked up and wore the polo she found on the floor which Lisa was wearing awhile ago and went out of the room. Sadness mixed with a relief is what she felt when she made sure that she was really gone.
Relief, because for temporary she can avoid the confrontation for now because for sure there will be an endless discussion that's going to happen about it for sure. With what happen between them, surely she won't stop pestering her again until she agreed on marrying her. And this time she's not sure if she can refuse her again.
Sadness, because with the few hours that had passed she already missed her. She was used to always have Lisa beside her, ready to give her everything that she wants and helps her all the way. Before she could even open her mouth to speak she can already guess what she wanted to happen and she could see the joy in her eyes everytime she makes her happy.
When she felt her stomach rumbling, Jennie went to the kitchen and searched for anything that she could eat.
'I wish Lisa was here.' she told herself. Now she could feel how important she is in her life. She was used to have cooked meals already set on the table for her to eat, and not just foods but mouth watering and delicious foods.
The vegetables which she never eats before she could eat them now, thanks to Lisa. She was so good at cooking and likes to invent recipes, and she's always the taster.
In the midst of her eating soda crackers which she first saw, her mind kept on working.
Going back through her memories with her moments with Lisa. She was trying so hard to analyze her real feelings towards the woman who got her pregnant. The physical attraction she has for her can't be denied. Specially that they just slept together again. And ever since she never denied her of that.
Yes, she refused to physical intimacy, but unknown to Lisa she's also having a hard time with that decision of hers. If she only knew how much she was controlling herself everytime their body gets closed to each other, most specially whenever she was kissing her. She knew that the intimacy with Lisa would surely cloud her vision, she might decide on one thing that she would surely regret in the end.
Deep inside she admit that she was the perfect one for her -- kind, charming, caring, a perfect gentlewoman.
She's also infuriating, domineering, naughty, bipolar and very annoying. Could she live with that for the rest of her life?
'Of course.'
On the other hand, can she imagine her life without Lisa by her side? Worst, could she ever let her marry another woman? Can she survive living alone in this world without her?
The piece of cracker that Jennie was holding fell from her hand when she realized the answer to her own questions. She propped her elbows on the table and rest her face on her hands weakly and without her realizing she was already crying.
"Oh, God!" she utter with a broken voice.
'You just had to be gone for me to realize my true feelings for you. When did I fell in love with you? Why haven't I notice it? Do you feel the same way? Do you love me too?'
For the first time in her life this is the first time Jennie ever felt an unexplainable fear. She didn't know if it's natural for a pregnant woman to be emotional, all she wanted to do right this moment is to hide in a very dark place and cry herself to death. Different kinds of "what ifs" are playing inside her head. What if Lisa doesn't really love her? What if she was just playing with her? What if she would meet a woman in Jeju and won't come back to her? What if she would run away from her when she learned about her true feelings for her?
Feeling dumbfounded, she suddenly stood up. Half running half walking she went inside her room and packed few of her clothes. The plan is to go away for now. She didn't want Lisa to see her in this way and state of mind.
'I need to clear my head, think things through, and plan my strategy. I'll go home for now. I just don't want to see her for a while.'