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It's been weeks since I heard the DNA test results and finally accepted that Sophia Henson was my mother. We've been trying to communicate and build a mother-daughter relationship, which is hard and new to me. We've been meeting up to talk often, I still wasn't calling her mum, but I had a newfound respect for her. She had to go through a lot to get to me. Right now, I didn't know if I should hate my father for everything he did. What sort of twisted and wicked mind does he have to pull all this things Sophia said he did? I just couldn't bear to look at him or Patra, his wife, my mum until recently. I couldn't bear to talk to them and I abstained from calling home or talking to either of them because I wasn't sure I had the will not to yell at them.
Today I was going over to Sophia's place after classes to chat and hangout. I and Ethan had found her a place close by, so she could be close to me and I could reach her whenever I wanted and vice versa and so my mind can be at peace that my dad wouldn't find her, I hope. I stop at a Chick-Fil-A to get some lunch for myself and Sophia, she could use the junk food, only God knows what they fed her in the asylum.
The door opens at my third knock, Sophia looks nervous, she was shaky, she probably thought it was the mental institution guards coming to get her.
"It's just me and I come bearing lunch," I say smiling as I walk in,
"Sorry for not answering the door on time, I just.... Never mind, how was classes today love," She says sitting on a sofa,
I sigh loudly as I place the lunch on the table in the middle and sit down in the couch nearest to hers.
"Tiring," I reply her, "what have you been up to?" I add as I place her lunch in front of her and mine in front of me,
"I arranged and then I thought of you and all the things I've missed, look at you Karla, you're 21 years old and I don't know anything about you and I wonder if I'll ever cover up those years..." She says sadly as she wipes at her eyes,
"Hey, hey, what did I say? We'll do this one day at a time, okay? We'll be okay," I say to her, grabbing her hands in mine and looking into her eyes, she looks skeptical but wipes at her eyes,
"We'll be okay.... Sorry for crying on you," she says and laughs, I smile at her and unwrap my lunch as she does hers,
"I got you the chicken deluxe sandwich and some nuggets and a chocolate milkshake, but if you want mine, we could swap, I'm having the grilled chicken sandwich combo and a side salad and a cookies and cream milkshake," I say as I begin to unwrap my food and make myself comfortable in the couch,
"It's okay, thanks for lunch," She says, to which I just nod my head already taking a bite from my lunch,
"You must be really hungry," She says laughing, I nod smiling shyly,
"I didn't have breakfast so I'm totally hungry," I say after I finish my bite,
"Tell me about yourself, I wanna hear stories if you don't mind," She says politely and takes a bite from her sandwich,
I wipe at the corners of my mouth as I drop my sandwich and ponder on what to tell her.
"Well, Purple is my favorite color, I am obsessed with BTS, it's a Korean boys band, I am studying Accounting, I'm gonna take after dad's firm... " I say, she interrupts me,
"Hope you weren't pressured into it, Accounting, I mean," She says,
"Not really, I really love Accounting," I say,
Sophia stares at me quizzically for a while. We are both silent now.
"Did you always want to do it? Or did the fact that it was all you were surrounded with, the fact that it was all your father ever talked about that pushed you towards making that decision?" Sophia asks softly, looking intensely at me,
"Like I said Sophia, I always wanted to do it," I reply, getting defensive,
"Karla, I spent 3 years as Luke's wife, I know he has a way with words that's very persuasive and convincing..." She begins but I interrupt her, getting annoyed,
"He's not like that, he didn't make me choose it, I did, stop all this," I say annoyed,
"Karla, I'm sorry but I'm not your enemy, okay? Who's idea was it to study at U of Wales?" She says calmly,
Huffing, I fumble with the sleeves of my jacket that I still had on and adjust my position in the couch. Sophia watches me like a hawk, her eyes prying me open. I can feel it and I hate it. It's scaring me.
"I liked U of Wales, daddy graduated from here, I wanted to come here, I wanted to be his legacy..." I say but is interrupted,
"That word again, Legacy, before we had you, your dad kept saying he wanted a son to carry on his legacy, succeed him in his firm but we got a girl instead...... Karla.... Deep down I know you see it, being familiar with something and you wanting to actually do something for you is different. Did you really want to do Accounting?" She says, concern etched on her face,
My entire being goes rigid. My mouth clams shut. Sophia's gaze slides over me with concern. And a terrifying realization sink in. She keeps looking at me, she already knew the answer to the question, she can see it but just wanted to hear me say it.
My dad had made every suggestion that led to me choosing to go to U of Wales, he had spoken about Accounting constantly that I believed I wanted that too for myself. Shipping me off to U of Wales, wanting to buy me a two-bedroom house, which I had turned down and asked to live in the school apartments, having me do volunteer work and insisting on me interning at Kensington and co during any break I had. I just sat down and let him run my whole fucking life.
I pick up my lunch and continue eating as a mask of indifference slides unto my face. She looks at me for sometime wanting to say something, to comfort me or something but she just continues eating too, pressing a button on a remote that turned on the TV.
...
After we got over the issue about my choice of study, more like after I got over it, I and Sophia had a great time talking, I told her stories from when I was a child and she told me stories from back when she was young and when she met my dad, it was still a sore topic for her. I recognize that she was pretty strong to go through this and even care about him, she had loved him or still loved him. She got a little uncomfortable when I spoke about Patra, my step-mum, so I stayed of that topic or any topic that'll make me talk about her.
"I mean you well Karla, always remember that sweetie" Sophia says as she stands behind me as I head for the door,
"I know Sophia, I just need time to think is all, I'm sorry for being hostile before," I say,
"I didn't take offense sweetie, I could never stay mad at you," Sophia says as she hugs me and kiss me on the cheek,
"Goodnight Sophy," I call as I leave, I hear her lock up behind me.
I head home to my apartment.
"I'm home," I call into my apartment as I walk into the living room and lie on the couch,
"Hey you," Cynthia says, walking out of her room with a face mask on her face and Price was right behind her with a face mask on too,
"Y'all look cute, hash tag couple goals," I say looking up at Cynthia who raised my head and settled into the space between my head and the armrest and places my head on her lap,
"Thanks, it's all me," Price says, from somewhere I'm the kitchen,
"You didn't even want to wear a face mask, I literally had to beg you," Cynthia snaps,
"Well I make the look work better than...." He says walking towards us with a banana in his hand,
"If you complete that statement, you can as well get packing then," Cynthia interrupts him,
I burst out laughing at the two of them.
"You guys are hilarious to watch," I say still crackling with laughter, which eventually turned to tears,
The room becomes silent, I can hear Price whispering 'What's wrong with her?' to Cynthia, who tells him to excuse us and I hear him exit the room, she just runs her palm over my head as I cry. She sits there quietly, letting me cry while whispering to me that 'whatever it was, it was all gonna be okay'.
"I found out that my mum isn't my birth mother and my dad was married to my birth mother, but he cheated on her during her pregnancy with me and she found out and divorced him and her bipolar disorder got worse because of the stress and for that he won custody over me and choose to lock her up in a freaking asylum and today I just had a major realization that I may actually not be into Accounting like I thought I was, and knowing that my dad was capable of being mean and wicked to Sophia is just mind blowing and to find out that my previous mum was a mistress that ruined my parents marriage just makes me uncomfortable, I don't know if I'm to hate her or not but she's been there for me my whole life," I explain to Cynthia through my sobs,
"It's okay Karla, maybe you don't have to hate your mum just because she isn't your birth mother, it doesn't make her any less of a mum to you, from hearing you talk about her before now, I gather she was a good mum to you all this while, right?," She says thoughtfully,
"She's a great mum," I whisper, sitting up slightly,
"See? So you just have 2 mothers who love you and want to be with you if you'll have them and if you can look past the mistress part, I mean that would be tough, but she wasn't like mean to you or anything..... I don't even know honestly...... just take a breather and take things as they come, you don't have to get over all this fast," She says gently, now hugging me to herself,
"Thanks for listening and the advice," I say, to which she just nods and hugs me.
We hold each other in silence for a couple of minutes.
"Has the dam been fixed?" We hear Price ask and we burst out laughing,
"Yeah, the coast is clear," I say laughing,
"I warned you that you could totally do better than Ethan but does anybody listen to me? No..... I can totally still help you kick his ass, notwithstanding the fact that he's my brother," Price says settling into a sofa beside the couch,
"It wasn't Ethan, Icy Queens don't cry for boy drama," I say the last part sassily,
Cynthia starts to hum the lyrics to Icy girl by Saweetie, I start to sing along and it eventually turns into a full concert with us dancing and prancing round the living room and then we all tiredly retire to bed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Author's note:
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