As their carriage rolls away from Hidden Springs, Alice pulls her feet up onto the bench in front of her and hugs them to her chest. "You alright?" Mal asks.
She shrugs. "I hadn't ever really thought about what I would do if I ended up here. Well, I never knew I'd be here precisely, but you know what I mean. I'm not sure what to do. I spent four years..."
Mal glances at her sidelong, trying to read something in her face that he doesn't find there. "I thought humans' coming-of-age was eighteen."
Alice looks up. It takes her some effort to draw her attention back into the present, but she manages to direct it towards Mal. "Elves' isn't?"
"Normally you don't make your own way to quite this extent until you're twenty-five. But then, there's usually a decade of training that precedes it..."
"So you haven't been at this as long as I thought."
"Depends on how you define this," Mal says. "Captaining my own merchant airship? No, not very long. But only because it took years for me to pay off the debt from my leg. I never actually had a real elven coming-of-age."
"Because you're only half elf?"
Mal bristles a little. The comment is making things he'd much rather forget resurface — things he had thought he'd already forgotten. "No, not because of that," he says, although the truth is he'll never know if he would've gotten a proper elnyar. "My entire enclave was killed in a flood."
"Enclave?"
"It's like a — well, the closest human analogy would be a city, but that wouldn't give you any proper idea of what it really looks like. Perhaps tribe would be closer, but that has certain connotations..."
"Oh," Alice says. "I'm sorry they died."
Mal shrugs. "It was a flood, what, fifteen years ago now? I've moved on."
"Still, it can be hard, to lose people."
Mal looks at her differently. "Who have you lost?"
"Not lost anyone, per se, just... left them behind."
"That's different."
"Is it really? When going back isn't an option?"
"It's always an option," Mal says. "Might not be a very good option, but it's always there. And when you've run out of others..."
"You don't understand," she says, curling herself into an even tighter fetal position. "I can't go back. And I know that sounds stupid — I was just a kid when I ran away, it's been a few years, surely they'll let me come home. And believe you me, I wish it were that simple. But it's not. And it's never going to be, either. I'll put it this way. The only way I'm getting anywhere near that house ever again is if it's in a box, and even then I'm as likely to be fed to the pigs as buried respectably."
"You don't have to defend yourself to me," Mal says. "I was just seeing if you'd thought out all your options. In case there was anywhere I could drop you."
"Other than the docks, you mean?"
"Look, I'm just trying to help you out. If you don't wanna get dropped somewhere, don't. I'll be getting out there, so you have until we get there to redirect us."
"No, no," Alice says. "I'll go to the docks. I'd really love to hire on with a ship... but this doesn't seem quite the town for that, so I'll have to see who's going where. What about you? Where will you go next?"
"Depends what cargo there is to be had," Mal says idly. "We were making our way west before you dragged us up here... Maybe we'll go back, see if we can get a real cargo out of Benny, and not just another favor."
Alice grins. "Paid you well, though, didn't I?"
"Well enough to feed the crew and fuel the ship," he says. "Enough to get us to Aparo, so we could get to Laka'al, and, well, hopefully the oilskins do as well as Gunny hoped. Otherwise we'll only have the money to get us back to Huana, which means it'll be back to favors. Not that favors have been the worst thing, but — I'd like to be a bit more in charge of where we're going. Can't be adrift forever."
"Surely there's been some things fun about this trip?"
"Oh. Yes. Fun. Getting robbed, having the thief come back and ask for a favor, getting out of having to go to Tuanaki by having to come here instead, yes, it's been bushels of fun."
"Okay, okay, sorry I asked," Alice says, holding up her hands in a defensive posture. "I was just trying to get the lay of the land. And I don't have any money anyway, remember? So how exactly would I get on your ship again? Plus, you deserve to have the cabin to yourself."
Mal doesn't say anything, he just nods, and they lapse back into silence only broken by the rattle of the carriage wheels. It's not a short trip between the docks and the sanatorium, but it isn't a long one, either, and before they know it, they're at the base of the airship docking platform. There's a ladder for Mal to climb to get back to his ship and there's a tavern on the corner full of folk, one of whom might be able to get Alice somewhere she actually wants to be.
"Well, I guess this is it, then," Mal says.
Alice grins. "Don't say goodbye before you're going, hmm? I doubt Gunny's back from selling the oilskins yet. You know where to find me," she adds, with a pointed look at the bar. He didn't really need the hint.
"Then I won't say it," he says, returning her grin. "See you, Alice."
"See ya, Mal," she says. Then she gives him a little wave, turns on her heel, and heads for the bar. The whole thing would've painting a much cuter picture if she hadn't been interrupted mid-wave by a massive crack of thunder and a sudden downpour. Alice huddles into her leather jacket as Mal thanks his lucky stars he wore his rain clothes, for all they make him look utterly ridiculous. He's not wet or cold and he finds no trouble in scampering up the ladder to the heights above the buildings where the airships are tethered. He tries to pay more attention to the many lanes of ships and the working men he crosses paths with than the daydreams that are tickling are the corners of his mind.
Mal and Gunny are playing cards on the aft deck in the last hours of sunlight when they're greeted by a shout from the docks. "Heads up!"
A moment later, a purse comes sailing towards them, lending in the center of their pot. It's so well done it would be comical if both Mal and Gunny didn't have a sinking feeling about who the purse belonged to.
"That's enough to get me to Huana, isn't it? I think it's about what I gave you to get here. I don't exactly recall..."
Mal and Gunny look eyes. Their expressions are equally worried, and they both, privately, find it reassuring that the other shares their feelings about the situation. Mal turns to address the visitor first, it being his responsibility as captain and all — according to Gunny's silently eloquent eyebrows.
"Alice."
A broad grin spreads over her face. "Miss me, didja?"
"Actually, we were happy to be rid of you," Gunny mutters. Mal glares at her, but Alice is actually the next to speak up.
"No, I'm sure you don't want me around at all. But no one else is going the right way — they're all going east from here. And I wouldn't, normally, ask for this, but... I just gotta get back to where I know someone and I can work from there. And if this really isn't enough, I'll be happy to get you more, but that's all I could get now."
Mal weighs the purse in his palm. It's heavier than he expected — but she's right, it's near what she gave to get here. A bit short but, truth to be told, he'd over-charged her. Even with the food.
"How'd you get it, anyway?" he asks.
"You should never play cards with me," Alice says, slowly grinning. "And if you do, you should keep a close eye on your purse."
Mal chuckles. Gunny kicks him gently — but not subtly. "Hey!" he exclaims. "What do you want? This is food and fuel for a week!"
"We just got rid of her," Gunny complains. "Don't you care that she stole your purse?"
"She returned it," Mal says, not entirely sure, even for himself, why he's defending Alice. He was happy she was gone... and now he's just a tad bit happier she's back.
"Look, I promise I won't steal anything from you, now or once we get into Huana. I just — I didn't realize you could help me, so..."
"No, no, I get it, you just chartered the fast ship in the Huana docks and got the names of her crew before you got here because that's how much research you do on all the ships you might be riding on, especially if it'll get you closer to the person you're looking for again. A person about which the most information you have is his name, and your best lead on his location is a man who's been in a sanatorium the last fifteen years?"
"I didn't know he'd be broken—"
Mal's tone abruptly turns cold and deadly. "He is not broken," he says darkly. Then he gets to his feet in a smooth motion and immediately heads for the ladder to the hold. "You can come with but you're sleeping in the hold now, not the cabin."
A comment about discounts for lesser accommodations bubbles to Alice's lips, but she doesn't get a coherent thought out before Mal has disappeared below deck. Gunny alternates between sending deadly glares Alice's way and cleaning up their card game. It only takes a few minutes, but Alice stays silently until Gunny is passing right in front of her.
"I'm — I'm sorry," she blurts. "I didn't think—"
"Maybe you should start," Gunny says. And then she too disappears below. With a heavy sigh, Alice slides down until she's sitting with her butt on the deck of the Nameless and her back against the few raised inches of the aft deck. She looks around, enjoying the rare opportunity to survey the whole ship without being watched. If she leaned back a little, she could probably reach the wheel...
On a whim, she decide to try. She leans back, stretching as far as she can — it's a bit further than she thought, but she can just about — there!
She can only hold the position for an instant before she topples, landing uncomfortably with her back draped across the slightly raised planking. But, thankfully, there's no one around to see her, not even the harbor master patrolling the docks. Alice glances around again to make absolutely sure, but there's nothing and no one about.
So she carefully gets to her feet and stands behind the wheel. Tentatively, Alice reaches out and lets her sweaty palms make contact with brass that's warm from sitting in the sun. The Nameless is such a gentle creature, whispering encouragement in the vent of steam and the rattle of pipes. You can do it, Alice, the steam-powered voices say. You can be a great captain one day, and all you've got to do is sail.
"What are you doing?"
Alice's eyes spring open. Mal has resurfaced, for what she reason she couldn't possibly fathom, and she still has her hands wrapped lovingly around the wheel.
She pulls her hands away as quickly as if they'd been burned and practically jumps backwards. "Nothing! I was just — doing nothing! Just, uh, walking around! And — admiring — yes, admiring, that's the word — admiring your ship. She really is fine, isn't she?"
He gives her a strange look. "Yes, the Nameless is a mighty fine ship. But I'd say that most of the time, admiring things doesn't involve putting your hands on them."
"I'm sorry," she says. "I just — couldn't help myself. It's such a lovely ship, and — well, I've always dreamed of being an airship pi— captain."
Mal raises his eyebrows. "A what?"
"An airship captain," she repeats, as if there had been no question about what she had actually said.
"Oh? Not an airship pirate perhaps?"
"Absolutely not," Alice says, though she can tell the flush is getting to her ears. With any luck it won't be too brightly noticeable against the dark of her hair. That's probably not the most important thing to be worrying about, but somehow she's terribly embarrassed by the fact that she'd dreamed of being a pirate when here was someone struggling to make do without stealing. He'd clearly weighed the same costs differently.
"Nothing wrong with wanting to," he says.
"Well, no. I mean, sort of, 'cause it is stealing and all, but..." She shrugs. "I don't know. I just mean, you're out here, not stealing things, and you're making do."
"You could say that," Mal says. "But from where I'm standing, it's getting harder and harder to take on cargo. We've resorted to taking on cargo like... well, like you."
Alice grins wryly. "I'm that questionable, am I?"
"You are hiding from the Company," Mal points out. "Not that most of us wouldn't mind taking the Company down a notch, but there's a difference between that and actually being on the run."
"I told you, I'm not really running from them. Just Piers. Just one Piers, and then it's more of — I'd much rather avoid him. Once I would have thought he'd want to drag me home kicking and screaming, but now... Well, I'll put it this way. He's the reason I really can't go home."
Mal narrows his eyes. "Then why did you say the Company is the one looking for you?"
Alice scratches the back of her neck idly. It poorly disguises the blush that's threatening to overwhelm her whole face, and in another world, she'd have given up on this conversation long ago. But something has her wanting to talk about this whole mess more, not less. "Because they would like to find me, too," she says. "They just don't know I'm me."
Mal gives her a look. "What does that mean, exactly?"
Alice grins, a little madly. "Well, you may have noticed that I, uh, like getting my hands on things that normal people wouldn't be able to. Fuller purses than mine, yes, but also far more interesting things, like the Company's latest test pistols, the company's excess food supplies... once the Company's purse, I mean it was going to pay some folk's salaries, but the Company has plenty more money to do that with, and I was really desperate. Hadn't eaten in most of a week, and I owed someone a lot of money."
"How much? No, wait, I'm not sure I want to know."
"Almost sixty thousand gold pieces," Alice says, trying to be nonchalant about it. However, it's not enough to stop Mal's jaw from dropping.
"How much?"
"I think it was fifty-seven, four? Something like that. There was fifty-three for the ship, another two for bail... Yeah, I think that's right. Fifty-seven thousand, four hundred gold pieces I owed at the end of all that. If I'm remembering correctly."
"How, exactly, did you end up owing someone that much money? And why...?"
Alice grins a little sheepishly. "I botched a job," she says. "And — a bit terribly. Got arrested and everything. The real problem was the ship was wrecked and so that had to be replaced, which as I'm sure you know isn't cheap. As a matter of fact, I ended up getting thrown in jail in Finette, so I kind of ended up right under the Company's nose. Hence the rather sizable bail for someone as harmless as little ol' me. So when I got out, I owed the mate what sprung me twice over, for springing me and also for the ship. Plus I'd gotten all my gear confiscated, so I had to replace all of that. And that was not a debt I liked to keep around. So as questionable as it may have been to lift the Company's paychecks, I had to do something."
"And there was just enough left over after the debts that you could get by, hmm?"
"What, are you getting mad that I didn't lift a higher paycheck? I'm not sure whose paycheck you expect to be higher than the one the Company's giving out to their independent contractors but I can tell you one thing, it was only a bit more than enough to cover my debts, and that's why I didn't keep stealing after I'd gotten it. Now, if there'd've been a bigger score, I won't say I wouldn't have tried for that, but there weren't, and I'll have you know that no merchant ship running perfectly legal cargo could ever make a living out here. Surely you've taken on some kind of less-than-legal cargo before, am I wrong?"
Mal doesn't answer that directly. He knows he nothing he says will actually help him, so it's far easier to avoid the matter by changing the subject entirely. "Where are you gonna go after we get back to Huana?"
Alice shrugs. "I haven't really thought about it. Probably it'll come down to who's hiring. Why are you so interested, anyway?"
"Just trying to figure out what made you come back here after you'd so comfortably left. It seemed like the last thing you wanted when you left was to be near me."
"It seemed like the last thing you wanted was for me to be around!" Alice exclaims. "It's not like I was particularly upset when it turned out that none of the other airship captains are willing to take on an extra untrained hand. Plus there were a few too many captains whose handshakes were a bit friendlier than I would like. You're a terrible flirt but at least you don't only see me as a meal."
"Ouch."
"What?"
"I feel somehow offended, that the only reason you came back is because I didn't offend you. Like I must be doing something wrong, but that would mean I should be offending you, which is just patently untrue."
"Ah, alright. You're feeling conflicted about being a decent person. Guess we're more alike than I thought." Alice sighs and then wipes her palms on her thighs. She's not sure if they're actually sweaty or if she's just so anxious she thinks they are. She's not sure that the difference really matters. "Well, I suppose I'll let you get back to — whatever it was you came up here to do. And, uh, sorry for messing with your ship. I didn't mean to—"
"No, no, it's alright," Mal says. "You didn't do anything. I was just — surprised, to see you standing there. I thought you would've, well, moved, while I was below."
And none of that even mentioned how the sight of her had floored him, had made him stop and stare and think foolish romantic things like What if she's the one? and What if you never find out? and other terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thoughts. But there was something so appealing about the sight of her standing there, a hand on the wheel, grinning at some private at thought that only she knew, and—
"I guess I'll be going, then," Alice says. "I'll go, and, uh, hang my hammock."
With this awkward exit she scurries down to the upper hold. Mal can only hope she gets Gunny to help her and they'll both leave him alone for a while. Or at least as long as it takes for them to be able to leave. Gunny has secured them a cargo, but it won't be delivered for a few hours yet. Mal is used to this kind of delay, as it's not exactly the first time it's happened, but he can't say he particularly enjoys it. Fortunately, they don't have to wait much longer, and by the time evening falls, they are ready to begin the journey back to Huana.