Chapter 21
It could have been considered a nice, peaceful night. The temperature was just right -not too hot, not too cold- and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, so the moon and stars could be seen easily. There weren't people around and traffic could barely be heard.
But, for two people sitting on a bench outside the Macaroni Grill, the peaceful night was going unnoticed. One was desperately trying to think of what to say while the other sat staring at him still trying to comprehend all that had occurred within the past three minutes.
What do I say? Where do I begin? Erik was at a loss for words. Knowing that Christine was on the verge of leaving him for good was impairing his ability to think properly. After all he had done to her, her reaction to finally hearing him admit the truth shouldn't have come as a surprise. But, it did come as just that.
Christine was well aware of the fact that he was panicking. She herself was in somewhat of the same state, just for a different reason. She'd never judged the man sitting beside her. Everyone else had judged him poorly based on his mask. Instead of stooping to their level, Christine had taken the chance to get to know him... or so she thought.
Really, she didn't know him at all. He'd lied to her, both through his visits and through his emails. He'd made her believe he was two different people. He'd fooled her, and she was now feeling humiliated and stupid. Christine never thought he could make her feel that way.
And why wasn't he speaking? She had a number of things she wished to ask and say, but she wanted him to talk first. Forgiveness was far from her mind, and it was going to continue to get farther away if he didn't start explaining.
It has to be going on thirty seconds of silence. I'll give him fifteen more seconds.. If he doesn't say anything by then, I'm out of here. It pained her to think that she would never see Noah or email Erik again. Losing two of her closest friends... If Christine thought about it too much, though, she was going to cry. She couldn't let that happen.
It was decided. Erik would tell her the whole truth. Everything. From the beginning. He took a deep, calming breath. "My name is Erik Destler, and I'm a composer," he began. "I'm a famous composer. However, because of the mask on my face, I have made it so that I am never seen. That is where Nadir, the man I live with, comes in. He is my publisher." I can do this, I can do this,Erik thought, motivating himself. "The name I use when my music is published is not Erik Destler. It is..." He couldn't help but pause. Not another living soul on this earth knew the information he was revealing, besides Nadir. But, well, that was about to change. "It is Noah Wellington."
Christine's eyes widened. Her arms uncrossed and her hands fell to her lap. The man just admitted to being her favorite composer, an extremely famous composer at that. He was Erik, he was Noah, and he was Noah Wellington? He's lying! her mind accused. Still, she didn't speak.
Erik took in her disbelieving expression. He only wished she would trust him again.. but that wasn't going to happen unless he told her everything, and even then it might be hopeless. "Towards the end of May, I became tired of composing. You must know, I have never felt that way before. Music was my life. It was all I knew."
He stopped to gather his thoughts. "It was because of boredom that I discovered Pen-a-Pal, just as you did for the same reason. The website intrigued me, for I had never taken part in anything like it. Before that day, I had always been a recluse whose only companions were music and the man who raised me. But then, I found you." He spoke the word 'you' with reverence in his tone. "The very first email you sent me changed my life, and you have continued to change my life everyday since then."
Christine forced herself not to react to that in any sort of way. She had to stop herself from feeling lucky or special. I hope that's not all he has to say. He has yet to answer several more of my unspoken questions.
"We live in the same city," Erik continued. It was time to talk about 'Noah'. "Both of our profiles reveal that. When you first told me that you were working here, I immediately became curious. I wanted to see you in order to know that you were real. I often thought you were 'too good to be true', as the saying goes. I had to be sure. So, it was a Saturday night when I visited the Macaroni Grill and saw you for the first time. I recognized your voice first, since I had already heard it a number of times. And then, when I saw you, I knew I could never see you again."
That confused Christine. Why would he feel like that? And he did see me again.. so what changed his mind?
"You were perfect- your beauty, your voice, your demeanor. You were the epitome of all that is good, and I was unworthy. I left that night thinking that I could be content with only emailing you."
Erik's eyes left her face, and he gazed out into the distance. "That changed, though... I couldn't be content. I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you. So, I returned. As fate would have it, you were my waitress. I became 'Noah', and you know the rest." His eyes returned to her lovely face wondering what could be going through her mind. Was this the end?
"I chose to be your waitress that night," Christine said softly. "I'd already seen you that Saturday, the first time you came in. I just.. I wanted to be your waitress." She shrugged while still thinking about everything he'd just told her. It was all so crazy. And yet, Christine wasn't as shocked as she thought she would be.
She had to admit that if Erik had told her through an email his exact location, her curiosity would have caused her to find him, just like he found her.
It still wasn't right, though. To possess three different identities and to use two of them on her was just wrong. He should have known me well enough through emails to know that I would never judge him.
But there lay the problem. So many other people had probably been rude and judgmental towards him throughout his life. Of course he would assume she would be the same as them. It was understandable.
To carry the lie on for as long as he did was what Christine couldn't understand. She'd already explained to him that she hated the way others acted, so he should have respected her enough to tell the truth.
At the same time, though, the man was just so accustomed to keeping his identity hidden. It had to be hard for him to overcome what he was so used to doing.
Her differing perspectives caused her to sigh, and she realized that neither of them had spoken for quite some time.
Erik was giving her time to think things through and make a decision. Will she leave me? A voice in his head replied, Most likely... He refrained from apologizing again because she'd made it clear that the words 'I'm sorry' weren't good enough, so he resigned himself to merely sitting and watching her.
The silence was becoming really awkward. Finally, Christine spoke. "So, you're Erik, Noah, and Noah Wellington. But really, you're only Erik... I can understand your reasons for taking on three different identities. I just don't understand why you chose to lie to me for so long. It seems like you should have known that I'm not like other people, in that I would never think badly of you just because of your appearance. I like you, Erik. I already told you that."
"You like the Erik who has been emailing you all summer," he corrected. "You don't like the Erik who has been seeing you for the past month." His thoughts were slowly focusing on one thing- She said that she likes me... It wasn't in past tense.
"You're wrong. I like both Erik and Noah. To be honest, I've been incredibly confused. I thought I had to choose one of you. I-I didn't realize.." She didn't finished what she was saying. Her eyes strayed down to her hands, which were on her lap.
"But you can have both of us," Erik said hopefully. "You don't have to choose." You can have me, if you want me. He refrained from telling her those vulnerable words.
Christine looked into his eyes again. She really looked, trying to find the Erik she knew, as well as the Noah she knew. He stared back at her solemnly obviously prepared for the worst.
Then, suddenly, she laughed. It couldn't be helped. All of the lies, all of the confusion, and everything that had just been revealed were finally just too much. Christine shook her head while laughing. "I-... I'm sorry... Just-.. give me a second."
Erik could only watch her with nothing less than pure shock in his eyes. She was laughing? After everything he'd just told her, she was laughing? It didn't make sense.
After settling down some and taking a few deep breaths, Christine took a moment to think of what to say. "Well, I always knew you had the ability to be famous," she said, referring to the fact that he was Noah Wellington.
He didn't know what to say. First she was angry, then she was laughing, and now she was displaying an attitude of nonchalance?
Christine proceeded to smile for the first time, and when he didn't follow suit, she knew it was time to reassure him. "Erik, it's ok. I forgive you." He gasped. "I can understand why you did it. And actually, well, I'm starting to feel pretty relieved. It feels good to know that I don't have to choose between you and No-.. I mean, you." She smirked. "I'm a lucky girl, aren't I? To like two people only to come to find out they're the same person... Yep, I'm lucky."
Tears came to Erik's eyes as he realized what she was saying. "You mean.. You're not leaving me?"
His voice seemed almost child-like. "No," she replied with an affectionate smile. "I'm not leaving you."
They looked at each other, both seeing one another with new eyes. Everything was different now. It was... unbelievable.
Finally, the reality hit him. Erik was accepted by the woman he loved. "Oh, Christine," he whispered in awe.
Christine grinned. "Erik," she said, addressing him the proper way. For a few seconds, they only gazed at each other. Christine bit her bottom lip, realizing what she was wanting to do. Without a hint of warning, she leaned forward and hugged him.
Again, Erik was taken by complete surprise. To feel her touch his arm, as she had done earlier, was one thing. But to hug him? He'd never been hugged before... Not even by Nadir, though the man had tried a few times. This, though, this was new. New and wonderful. He returned the hug after several seconds, wrapping his arms around his angel. "I-I cannot believe this is happening," he whispered.
"Believe it." Christine smiled while still reveling in their embrace.
They backed away from each other after a while. Christine was blushing, and Erik was looking at her as if she was the only important person on the planet.
"So, Erik," Christine said with a small smile.
"Yes?" he asked, still amazed by her.
"I can't help but to be curious... I mean, you're Noah Wellington. It's.. It's just hard to believe. Don't get me wrong, I do believe you. I just-.. You've got to be really rich."
Erik blinked. Then, he laughed, a deep, resonant laugh. Shrugging gracefully, he replied, "I suppose I am rather wealthy. To me, though, money is of little importance."
Christine thought about the Rolls Royce Phantom he owned and begged to differ. "You sure do have a nice car, though."
"You should see my house," Erik told her without thinking.
She could only imagine.
"What I mean is, I may purchase expensive things, but they do not even come close to meaning as much to me as the person I am looking at." His lips curled upward as an attractive blush covered her cheeks. "Surely you must know my feelings for you." His voice was soft.
Christine's blush deepened, and she nodded. "You like me."
Feeling the 'Noah' in him, Erik decided to place another truth in her mind. For some reason, it just seemed right to tell her. Even if she couldn't return the feelings... "Yes, I like you. But, I am also in love with you." As soon as the words left his mouth, the 'Erik' in him wished he could take them back. Too soon, Erik. This is too soon!
Christine's entire body froze. 'I am also in love with you..' His statement replayed in her mind over and over again. "Y-you are?" she whispered.
He gave her a slow nod. "But Christine, please do not feel like you have to return the words. I am only telling you so that there are no more secrets. I believe keeping things hidden has caused enough problems." Before she could say anything else, he quickly tried to change topics. "It's a peaceful night, isn't it?" He looked towards the sky.
"Wait."
Erik looked at her nervously.
Christine played with a strand of her hair, feeling nerves of her own. "I never thought about it before. Loving you, that is. I only knew that I liked you. A lot. But, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm realizing... I might love you, too. You just mean so much to me," she explained. "I've gotten to know you through emails, through talking to you during work breaks, and through your music. Words can't describe how I feel when I receive an email from you or see you or listen to your music. I just feel so.. good, elated really. I don't know what I'd do without you. And.. I never want to know." A few tears came to her eyes. "So that's love, isn't it?" Yeah, I really do love him.
He wouldn't have believed it had she not just described to him everything that he himself was feeling, too. "Yes," he replied, nodding. "Yes."
Neither spoke as they stared at each other with love in their eyes. "I love you," Christine finally whispered. She leaned forward again, but this time it wasn't to hug him. This time, it was to kiss him.
Erik wasn't caught off guard, for he leaned forward at the exact same time as she did. When their lips met, everything seemed to come together. They were in love.
For Christine, it seemed as if she'd been waiting on Erik to come into her life for a very long time. She remembered how she had felt before the summer began. She'd felt that her life was unfair and that she was alone. She'd felt worthless. Now, though, she felt loved, cherished, and wanted. And she was determined to return those feelings wholeheartedly.
For Erik, Christine was the missing piece to his heart. She'd changed his life more than even he knew. What he knew was that he would love her for eternity. She deserved so much, and he would give her all that he had.
They kissed for a long time, exploring each other and loving the feeling. It wasn't until Christine's cell phone rang that they were forced to part.
"Darn," she murmured while searching through her purse for it. Brian. "Hey," she said, the phone to her ear. After a pause, she said, "Sorry." Another pause. "It's that late? You're kidding." There was some silence before she laughed. "No Brian, you don't have to send the police. I'll be there soon." There was one last pause. "I'm with Erik right now. I'll talk to you when I get home. Bye." Then, she ended the call and threw the phone back into her purse. Her eyes found Erik's again. "Sorry about that.."
Erik hadn't been paying attention to her phone conversation. He couldn't get past the kiss they shared. It was his first kiss. He was experiencing a lot of 'firsts' tonight. "That was.. indescribable."
Christine knew immediately that he wasn't referring to her conversation with Brian. She blushed. "I know."
He chuckled. "I'm afraid I have to admit that that was my first kiss."
"Mine, too."
Erik was shocked to hear that, but he didn't question it. He smiled warmly at her. She was so precious, so innocent, so pure. He would do absolutely anything for her. "You received a phone call."
"Yeah, it was Brian just wondering where I am. I can't believe it, but it's going on 1:00 am."
1:00 am meant the night was still young for someone like Erik. Christine, however, lived a normal life style. She needed sleep. "Christine, darling, perhaps we should go our separate ways for tonight. You need rest, and I don't want your brother to worry."
Christine loved how caring he was. "Maybe you're right," she said reluctantly.
They both stood and embraced each other without hesitation. "I love you, Christine, more than I can say."
"I love you, too." She'd never felt so sure about anything. They kissed quite a few more times before holding hands and walking towards their cars in the Macaroni Grill parking lot. Theirs were the only cars in the lot. "When are we going to see each other again?"
"Whenever you'd like, my love."
Christine grinned. "Tomorrow?"
Erik chuckled and squeezed her hand affectionately. "That sounds divine."
Knowing that he wasn't used to this sort of thing, Christine said, "Here, let me give you my cell phone number. And you can tell me your number, too." They exchanged phone numbers, and it was decided that Erik would call her at 11:00 am. It was also decided that they would meet at Byrd Park and then drive from there to Erik's mansion. Christine was ecstatic about the plan and the fact that she was actually going to get to see a mansion. Nothing excited her more than the prospect of seeing Erik again, though.
"Goodnight, Christine," Erik softly said before leaning down to kiss her.
When they parted, Christine returned the words. "Goodnight, Erik." He's not Noah, he's not Noah Wellington. He's Erik. My Erik. They couldn't resist kissing one more time before separating for the night.
While driving, Christine decided that she couldn't wait to get home and tell Brian what happened. Her brother was such a significant part of her life that she wanted to know his thoughts on everything.
Erik had two things on his mind as he drove towards the mansion. Christine was always on his mind, she would be until the day he died. Also, though, he was thinking of Nadir. He was planning on apologizing to him and telling him about what had just transpired. He could hardly wait to see pride in Nadir's eyes, and it would be directed towards him.
More than anything, though, Christine and Erik couldn't wait until 11:00 am. All they wanted was to see each other.. again and again.