Josephina
"And we also learnt some stuff about the brain. Like where all the decision making and so on happen. I actually find stuff about the body quite interesting to learn."
As usual, Clara and Felix have come to visit me after school. It's been a few days now since the...well since that day. I got moved from the emergency wing into ICU like the nurse said and I'll be in here for another day or two and then I'll be moved to a general medical ward. I have no idea on how long I'll be in there for.
"Ever think of making it a career choice then?" I ask her while munching on some more biscuits that Clara brought with her today. She said that she baked these and that I can't complain about the burnt edges because she put her blood, sweat and tears into it. I just laughed in response and promised that I wouldn't complain. To be fair, the biscuits weren't bad at all and yes there are some burnt edges but sometimes food being a bit burnt has an added flavor to it that makes it taste better. Just me?
"To be honest with you no. I never actually thought of that." She looks past me and ponders on what I just said and I don't interrupt her. She looks like she's having a deep thought evoking session in her mind right now. Felix was busy taking a nap on my other side, head on the hospital bed and snoring away.
"How do you live with someone that makes so much noise even in their sleep!?"
Clara giggles at my question and looks over to her brother and just smiles. "Imagine having another one." She sighs and I gape at her because honestly I wouldn't be able to sleep for at least the first few months if I had multiple people snoring away.
"Who else snores then?"
"Ezra. Luckily Lex and I got the gene of not snoring. Plus you're going to live with us when you're discharged so better get used to it now." She laughs at the realization on my face because I completely forgot that they're allowing me to stay with them. I'm so used to doing everything on my own, making my own decisions, looking out for myself and depending on myself that this is totally not in my comfort zone.
"Don't worry though, I promised you could go back and fetch a few things so we'll do that when you're discharged."
A new voice joins the conversation and our heads snap in the direction it came from. Both Alexander and Ezra stand at the foot of my hospital bed and look over at us. We didn't even see them come in nor did we hear them come in.
How do they do that? It's like they're secretly agents or something. How fun would that be?
"We'll go straight after you're discharged because you're only going to that house once and not again." He watches me for my reaction to what he just said and I don't say anything but rather nod because it makes sense that they don't want me to go back. Besides he said that with a serious and a 'Don't fight me on this' tone.
"That would be amazing, thank you. There's only a few things that are really important to me." I say while smiling softly at nothing in particular. I'm just thinking of the few things that belonged to my dad that I stored or rather kept after he passed and most importantly the money I've been saving up since I started working.
Alexander and Ezra after standing there for a few minutes, finally decide to take a seat. I mean seriously, doesn't it bother other people when you're sitting down and then everyone around you is standing and it just feels uncomfortable? That's how I felt just now.
They do their best to not make any noise because Felix was still fast asleep next to me. "He's been pretty busy at home as well. He needs this sleep." Ezra mutters out loud and Clara and Alexander nod in unison in agreement with him. "Busy with what?" I ask curiously and stuff another biscuit into my mouth. They all look at each other and then shake their heads in answer to my question. I take the shake of their heads and the silence as a sign to not ask further on the topic.
"Mind if I ask you what things you'll pick up from your house?" Clara asks and reaches over for the biscuit bag in my lap. I pass it over for her and smile again. Just thinking of those small trinkets and keepsakes make me think of my dad and the life we used to live.
"It's not a lot. Just a few things that I kept which belonged to my dad and then one or two things of mine." I answer and stop moving when the bag of biscuits makes a lot of noise. I'd hate to wake Felix up because he really does look exhausted. I sigh in relief when Felix doesn't move and continues his snoring.
"You've actually never mentioned your dad before, how come?" Clara asks then tells me that if I don't want to answer then I don't have too. I tell her that it's fine but thank her as well for being sweet and respecting if I had any boundaries in place.
"I don't mention him because he's dead." I answer bluntly and take another bite of the biscuit in my hand. I look up while munching and see their faces mirror shock at my tone.
"I was fairly young when it happened but old enough to remember a lot about him." I continue when they don't speak up. Perhaps I was too blunt about it. Fair enough but at the same time, it happened and it felt like it was ages ago so I've already cried my tears and wallowed in grief. If anything I'm going to start crying over how much he's missed in my life.
"I miss him a lot. He wouldn't want me crying though, he and mom would always tell us to stay strong for them." I whisper the last part out and sigh heavily. Life really was good back then and I can easily say that because life has not been good for a long time.
"Us?" Ezra asks and tilts his head in confusion.
"Hmm? What us? I didn't mention us." I deflect the question immediately and hope that they don't ask further questions because not a single person on this planet knows besides my mother and she doesn't even know the full story, for obvious reasons.
"What things will you take then?" Alexander asks and searches my face once or twice when I don't answer. In all honesty, I'm not sure what I'll take besides the things that are important you know? Like I could technically take anything.
"I mean there isn't a lot to take since my mom sold a lot of things in the house." I say and ponder a bit on what I'll actually take when I do go back home.
"I do have this dresser, I can't take that though, but I'll take a few clothes out because I still have some clothes that he bought me. I also have this hidden storage space where I have the money I've been saving since I started working, some jewelry that belonged to my mother and my dad's wedding ring, a few photos and some other small things." I think back to all of those things tucked away in a small hidden floorboard in my room. I used to look at those pictures and wear the necklaces and rings that belonged to my parents when I was much younger. I reminisced those days where there was nothing but love filling the house and would occasionally fall asleep with it in my bed. Might sound weird to others but for younger me, it was the only source of love and hope.
"You've been saving money? Is that why you work multiple jobs?" Clara asks now genuinely listening and not eating anymore. Ezra and Alexander do the same, focusing intently on me and what I'm saying.
"Well yes and no. I worked because I had too. We needed the money but I did always take a certain amount on every pay day and I've been saving up since."
Alexander shakes his head and gives me a once over. "You shouldn't have to do that though." I shrug while taking another bite of a biscuit.
"It's honestly the only life I know. I live to survive and that's been the goal for the longest time."
And it was the truth. Yes, I did live a life of happiness and love and so much hope but I was young and over the years a lot of those memories began to fade within time. I couldn't stop that from happening either because everyday became a fight for my life and eventually there was no time to reminisce about the days where I was loved and my family was whole. Instead, my days morphed into working hard and trying to stay alive in my own home.
The three siblings look at me with a lot of sadness in their eyes, well more so Ezra and Clara because Alexander was looking at me with a lot of intensity and I couldn't look over at him because the eye contact was just well intense.
Alexander gets up once realizing I wouldn't make eye contact with him and walks over to me on Clara's side of the hospital bed. He puts a hand over mine which is holding the biscuit bag and squeezes gently.
"You're not alone anymore."
-----
Clara
"Visiting hours are over now so this is where we leave you."
I walk over to Josey and give her a big hug while also being quite gentle because I don't want to cause her any pain. Once I've given her my hug, I walk over to a still sleeping Lix and shake him gently.
"It's time to go."
He groans slightly and starts waking up slowly. I wave goodbye to Josey and walk out the room. Once I'm out the door, I go to the nearest wall and slide down it. I'm trying my hardest to hold back tears right now.
"Woah, Lara. What's wrong?" Lix asks as he walks out the door before Ez and Lex.
I shake my head and wipe a few stray tears that are rolling down my cheeks and sigh heavily. "She's just gone through so much. I can't even comprehend it."
"Come on." Lex walks over to me and pulls me up gently by the shoulders. He throws an arm around my shoulders and tugs me into his side and starts walking. I wrap my arm around his waist and let him lead us back to the car.
"What did I miss?" Lix asks confused as he follows us. Ez fills him in on what he missed because he fell asleep. While they're having their chat behind us, Lex starts rubbing my arm with the hand over my shoulders.
"It was a lot to take in, I admit." He says and looks down at to remove some more tears rolling down my cheeks. I nod and lean into him a bit more.
"How did we know her and never see it?" I ask out loud to no one in particular. It will never cease to amaze me. Josey really is one of the strongest people I know, after my brothers. They are some of the strongest people I know as well but for different reasons and different circumstances.
"She hid it so well." Lix says from behind me and grabs my hand to hold. We walk like that in silence until we get to the car. Lex driving, Ez in the passenger seat and Lix and I in the back seats.
The drive home is also silent, except for the radio that Lex turned on because we were being a bit too sad for his liking he said. Such a Lex thing to do, always trying to keep the smiles on our faces but never really taking time to take care of himself. Him and Ez have basically raised Lix and I and even though they were young themselves and Lex sort of raised Ez too, they never once complained. I love my brothers so much even when they work on my last nerves.
"Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"Which room are we giving Josey?"
His eyes glance at me through the rearview mirror and he shrugs. "I didn't really think of it." I nod and then think myself. There are quite a few rooms in our house because most of the time members will sleep over for the night because of work or if new members come in and they don't have a place to stay yet then they'll stay with us. There is a mafia house, where most of the members stay permanently, unless obviously they'd like to live on their own but most decide to live in the conjoined house.
"Don't lie." Ez chuckles from the passenger seat and hits Lex's shoulder in a playful manner.
"What?"
"You were telling me, just yesterday, that the room between yours and Lara's is the perfect room."
"So you have decided?" I tease and giggle at his annoyed expression. He doesn't answer but he does smile a little and then focuses on the road again.
All of our bedrooms are on the same floor. Lex had a hand in the structure of the house and so he decided that if anything were to go wrong, like an attack, then we should be on the same floor and not separated. We tease him constantly about it because his big brother instincts kicked in when he decided that and he likes to deny it all the time. So we're all on the same floor which is the second floor, the first floor has the bedrooms for the members and whatnot, the ground floor with all the usual areas like kitchen and living room and then the third floor has all the offices and like business things. We also have a basement which has the gym and fighting area where training happens sometimes and the weapon room.
The room that Ez was talking about, Lex made into a like common area for us siblings so that if we didn't want to go downstairs and be surrounded by other people then we can use that room. It didn't have much in it since it is a normal room size but we used it every now and then. Nobody is using it now though because we haven't had a lot of people sleeping over in the house. The members come in the day for whatever and then leave straight after it's done.
"Any reason for that specific room, brother dearest?" Lix asks and quickly ducks just in time. A phone comes flying from the front seat and is aimed in Lix's direction. In this family, reflexes are important, very important if you intend on being unharmed.
"Drop it."
We stop talking about the topic but laugh at his embarrassment and annoyance. The rest of the drive is in silence with the occasional chat about nonsense. While we're driving though I'm thinking about how we can decorate Josey's new room. I feel like it could be a good distraction for her and it'll just be overall fun if she's involved in the process of making her room her own. I really want her to feel comfortable in that space and understand that we're here now if she needs help with anything.
"Lara?"
"Yeah?" I look over to Lix who is now standing outside of the car.
"We're home. You've been sitting there for like 5 minutes."
"Sorry, just thinking on how to decorate Josey's room." I tell him and get out of the car to follow him inside. He nods and then suggests that we first start out by cleaning the room because no decorating can happen in a room with junk in it.
"You do make a good point." I nod and gesture for him to follow me up the stairs and to that room.
"Did you just compliment me?" He acts and puts a hand over his heart and fans his face, wiping fake tears of his cheeks.
"Oh shut up." I smack his arm and smile at his goofiness. He turns around and starts bolting for the stairs.
"Clara just complimented me!! Oh what a beautiful day. No wonder why the weather is so nice today!! Lex! Ez! She complimented me." He shouts and screams in joy as he runs around the house.
I just laugh and shake my head at his antics and think to myself...I'm quite nice. I'm a very nice sister to all three of them and they should be lucky to have me. Or maybe I am a bit of a menace.
"Let's starts cleaning."
-----