Music playing in the background, game after game, card after card, the casino fills up rapidly and you only feel more trapped. The level of noise is beyond what you are used to, but on top of that, your concentration has already sabotaged by the players in front of you; or more specifically, Dazai and Gogol playing every new round you started. At the beginning, you try to ignore it, sure that it's a coincidence since neither were looking or paying attention to the other. Dazai seemed to only be there to entertain, to your displeasure - even if you know it's not your place to feel anything at all - somehow managing to attract the most female spectators. However, there were glances every now and then that led you to believe that he had another purpose after all. Gogol on the other hand, had his eyes completely on you. Half of the time you wondered how he managed to steal some of the matches when he almost never looked down, while the rest of your thoughts were on high alert as to what exactly he was trying to gain.
Now an hour later, there is no ignoring anything. Using your ability, you keep tabs on both of them, but it's difficult. They're both the type of people you can't predict, and now in the masquerade chaos, your ability is on overdrive which makes it ten times worse. You can't read anything.
"I win again!!"
Gogol jumps up from his seat, his cards flying on the ground as he makes a face towards the other players even though most is covered by his mask, sending a smirk towards you as you try not to react with anything but a normal, pleased dealer pride as you would to anyone...if it weren't for the fact that he'd been winning for ages and still gave the same reaction every round. The only difference is his smugness towards you grows every time.
Why.
"Congratulations...sir." You say, expression a forced sweet smile as you gradually move closer to Gogol and help him pick up all the cards that he had purposefully thrown to get you to go towards him. You lean down and get the ones from the floor as he watches, not thinking much of it until you get back up and place them on the counter, counting quizzically, realizing you were still missing one though you were sure you had gotten them all.
"Don't worry...miss, I've got it."
Gogol's smooth voice leaves a warm tickle in your ear, blush sprinkled on your cheeks as you feel him directly behind you, an arm wrapped almost around you as he hands you the last card, the heat of his body so close bringing back memories that feel so distant as the day and night stretches out. You hold a gasp, slowly taking the card and pushing past him, the clown letting out a small, repressed giggle.
Eyes of other players look between the two of you suspiciously, one man even starting to get agitated and angry, accusing you of rigging the game in his favour, to the point where you had to place your hand in his exposed wrist gently and use your ability to slow down his heart rate to make the illusion that he was ok and unbothered, that your words of reassurance and comfort are nothing but true. When you do, your own heart rate calms down due to the after affects of using your ability on someone, but the nerves are only reawakened when you turn your head to see Dazai looking directly towards you, a darkness that you only suspected previously in him showing in his eyes, brows furrowed in deep thought as he scrutinizes your behaviour.
What are you up to?
You only give him a small, quick smile in return, not wanting him to look any further into your actions.
It's a dangerous hole you'd be digging in to...I thought you'd have given up and left already. Please ignore it all and live in one last bliss in this house.
Returning to the centre, you are about to start another game when a co-worker of yours interrupts and tells you quickly that they're doing a switch of tables. A little confused, since usually on the busier nights the shifts are much longer, you are practically pushed out of the table, a sour look on your face as your co-worker starts organizing the cards as you had been doing, their eyes strictly on Dazai. That's when you realize you had been completely played, but you can't think of any reason to get your position back, so you just stand and watch helplessly, rolling your eyes at the show they are putting on.
Whatever, it's better this way. The farther away he is tonight the better.
"Why do you look so serious?"
You jump and turn around to Gogol holding his hands behind his back, smiling at you mischievously, head tilted and eyes glowing behind his masquerade mask. You think to only brush him off, until the wonder of his behaviour rushes back in, so you cross your arms in front of your chest and stand your ground, holding his gaze.
"Why won't you leave me alone? I'm working-"
"The mask looks good on you, Myshka! Dos wanted a more concealing one, but seeing your whole face behind a mask would have hurt me deeply, you know?"
"Nikolai."
"Ah, my name rolling off your tongue...so sweet!" He exclaims, puffing a hand you his heart in exaggeration, laughing to himself as annoyance flashes on your face.
"Why are you even here?" You ask, stepping closer as Gogol steps to the side to get out of the way of others.
"Do you even have to ask? Riddles are no fun if the answer is obvious!"
You frown, gears turning in your mind because the answer is not in fact obvious to you; until it clicks.
In the end, the house in control always wins.
I only have one path left to follow...
Does he know that too?
"Fine." You say, letting out a sigh and dropping your arms next to you, looking away from Gogol's sharp gaze.
"Fine?" He echoes, taking his hands and taking a hold of you face gently so he doesn't ruin your mask, hand trailing down your cheek gently when you don't move, eyes widened when you are only forced closer, the music in the background suddenly louder than you had last remembered it sounding, the room growing darker, the neon lights reflecting in Nikolai's crazed light eyes.
"That word...it's so curious isn't it? Fine makes you sound unsatisfied of the answer..." he whispers, his words like their own song.
"Are you unsatisfied Myshka? I could fix that so easily right here and now, only masks everywhere...no one is truly watching..."
It's easy to hide behind a wall so conveniently created...
Especially when one is truly unsatisfied, and steering away from the path given is an option.
But is any of it really my choice?
Are you a choice?
What if...
"What if we play one more game?" You suddenly suggest, pressing your finger to his lips as you look up at him, faces close enough that you only have to whisper. Lowering your hand, Gogol smiles.
"I love games."
"The house with the most control always wins. So win then."
Even if it's impossible right now.
Slowly, you take steps backwards and away from Nikolai, both of you mirroring smiles on each other's faces, though your seems much sadder in the coloured light flashing, your silhouette and his becoming only a detail in the dark of the casino room to the others gaze as you lose yourself in the crowd, knowing he understood your vague words.
Does he know?
Shaking your head, you engraved the image of Nikolai Gogol standing almost regally in his suit, feathered mask and all, letting it become a memory of free will in you.
Walking around the casino, you feel the heartbeats of people around you start to once again override the sound of the music you had so clearly heard before, head starting to hurt as you don't let yourself stop, knowing if you did now, you'd only be tempted to find Gogol again and change your mind about your request. Holding in groans of pain as the crowd becomes tighter, your vision becomes slightly blurred. As it does, you find yourself leaning on a slot machine, white noise taking over. Heart beating wildly, the crowds so thick you're basically standing shoulder to shoulder, you aren't able to distinguish one person from another anymore; until you feel someone's hands on your shoulders from behind you.
"Games, hm? Don't take more than you can handle [f/n]. Remember our...talk. A better place is waiting for you."
A silver tongue...
Darker than the rest...
Fyodor Dostoevsky stands in front of you now, pushing your hair gently behind your ear, his eyes a much more vibrant purple than you remember from last night. His straight, black hair frames his face as usual, but a sleek black masquerade mask shining with a purple outline, his suit the exact opposite of Gogol's. He looks like a hallucination, the power radiating from him confusing your heart, the thousands of reminders of your place playing in your headspace all at once until it's all gone, and even Fyodor is no longer in front of you.
"Fedya?" You say out loud, but no one turns, no one hears you nor reacts, your voice as sad as the hidden pain in your eyes from when you walked away from Nikolai.
What am I doing? What would Sigma say? What about all the promises I've made?
Pushing away from the slots machines, you also push past people to find a place in the casino to breathe, to clear your head before falling back in place, but all is interrupted when you feel a tug at your wrist and you stumble into the middle of a game of chance, dice rolling, metal coins being piled up and laughter of greedy men and women taking over. Heart beats nullified.
Silence...?
"Found you."