tw // brief mention of self harm
"Newt honey can you come here for a second?" His mom asked as he was coming upstairs for dinner.
"Yeah sure what's up?" Newt jumped on the island, swinging his feet, gently banging his heels on the cabinets.
"You got a letter in the mail, I put it on your desk."
Newt made a face at that. "Oh?"
"I have no idea who it's from, do you?"
Newt shook his head. "No, I'm not expecting anything. I'll go look and be down in ten."
His mom nodded in approval. "I'm making tacos!"
"Sweet!" Newt called as he hopped down and hurried up the stairs. He never got mail so in a weird way he was excited.
When he got into his room he closed the door behind him with his heel and flopped onto his bed. He reached over and grabbed the envelope off his dresser.
Newt made a face when he saw there was no return address.
"Who in the bloody hell sent me a letter?" Newt mumbled to no one and started tearing at the envelope.
He ripped it open and pulled the paper out. It was a blank sheet, there was almost nothing on it except two printed black words. It was clear that they were typed and the paper was perfectly wrinkle free.
Stop Looking
That's all it said.
Newt felt his blood run cold. It freaked him out, but he took a deep breath and flipped the paper over. It was blank on that side too. The entire thing looked spotless which somehow made it even more creepy.
Newt ran his hands over his face and placed the letter on his bed in front of him. What the hell were they getting themselves into?
Newt grabbed Lizzy's diary from under his bed where he now stored it. He flipped to the one page he kept from the rest of the garage.
'They're dangerous. I don't know who they are yet, but they're dangerous and they know who I am. I think they want me, they want kids who know what they're doing. I can't stop because I know they'll find me if I do. I have to finish their trials and get the end, if I get the end it stops and Newt can be safe again. The only thing I have to make very clear is that it's not just a game. It's in the real world too and it doesn't end when the computer turns off.'
Newt let his fingers trace over the page. For some reason that part had been bugging him for days. It was always in the back of his mind. He looked back to the letter and shoved it in between the pages of the diary. It wasn't just in the game which was what Newt was starting to realize and what Eden had been trying to tell him.
They could touch his character, kill him, hurt him which would suck but that isn't scary. It's scary when they send a letter to your house with a hidden threat.
Newt looked at the next page in his sister's book, this page has just a few words written in the middle of the page, but it always gave Newt chills.
'Be careful. They will hurt you.'
"Newt honey! Dinner!"
Newt shook his head and shoved the stuff back under his bed. This whole thing was fucking insane.
Well, he could think about it after tacos.
_______
"So I have a serious question," Minho said into his mic as they stood by the door they'd opened last night.
"Okay," Teresa said softly. They were all a little on edge from last time. Also, none of them knew what the fuck was behind that door.
"So when Sang and Oben fuck who do you think to-"
"KI WHAT THE FUCK?!" Newt snapped as he felt his cheeks heat up and burn bright red.
"I second that what the actual fuck dude," Thomas retorted, his voice sounded choked up which made Newt feel better that he wasn't the only one dying.
"I was just wondering!" Minho said quickly. "I mean it's obvious that I've been replace-"
"What do you mean replaced?!"
"You like Oben more than me now, so I must make sure he satisfies you the way I would. I mean who knows what you guys do on that private server."
Newt smacked his hand hard to his forehead. "I bloody hate you, so so much."
"Awe baby come on, I just gotta know for my fantasies."
"I'm muting him, I'm seriously muting him," Thomas hissed as he fumbled around at his keyboard.
"Wait no O! Please don't honey, I'm so sorry sweetheart it was just a prank. Bring that sweet ass over here and let me properly apologi-"
"Can we please focus!" Teresa snapped as she sighed into her microphone. "Minho, that means you."
"Oh shit boys she pulled the real name card, I'm in trouble."
"I'm not talking to you," Newt mumbled as he willed the red in his face to go down. Poor Oben was probably never going to speak to him again. What the hell did Teresa see in him?
"I can't hear him, I'm already walking into our doom," Thomas said as he walked straight into the black opening.
Other players couldn't see what they were doing, Newt has actually asked Chuck if he could see them on. He couldn't. It was kinda unsettling and weird, but at least they wouldn't be bothered by nosy players.
"Newt, Newt hey," Minho said softly as they were about to walk in.
"Yeah?"
"When you orgasm do you scream Thomas or Tommy-"
"MINHO!" Newt snapped, his face flaming red again.
Newt ignored his laughter as he went into the door after Thomas.
"What the bloody hell is this?" Newt asked as he walked his character into a large room. There were four spaces on the floor, each a different color.
"It looks like a puzzle," Teresa said as her character surveyed the digital room.
Suddenly there was a flash of light and each character was surrounded in a colored glow.
"Ha I was right," Teresa muttered.
"So we stand in the circles?" Newt asked as he looked at them.
"Probably the ones that go along with our color?" Minho suggested as he headed over to his orange circle that matched his orange glow. Teresa headed over to the blue one, Thomas to the red and Newt to the green.
Once they stood there, nothing happened. It was silent and Minho started whistling.
Suddenly the floor shifted and their characters were spun around, the circles flying around the floor like it was some t-cup ride at Disney world.
"What the fuck?" Minho snorted as he watched them fly around. It was sort of amusing, all these buff armored characters floating on little colored circles.
"This would be kinda fun if we were actually in there," Teresa said as she joined Minho in laughing at it.
"This whole thing is unsettling," Thomas grumbled as he chewed loudly on something.
Before Newt could add in his input, the circles dropped, throwing their characters into the floor.
"This is like some fucked up escape room movie," Teresa pointed out as she coughed into the mic.
"Yeah this is weird," Newt muttered as he watched his character fall.
After a while his character landed in a room, seperate from the others.
"You guys in a weird room?" Minho asked which got small yeah's from everyone else.
The room lit up and Newt furrowed his eyebrows. The room was white with black lines and boxes all over the floor. Newt tried to move his character, but he couldn't. It was like his keyboard was broken.
"Guys?" Newt asked as static sounded through his headset.
There was no answer.
Newt's phone lit up with a text.
the garage:
[Kilee] 8:56pm: got kicked off the voice chat
[Delario] 8:56pm: same
[Oben] 8:57pm: ^^
[Sang] 8:57pm: same, let's finish this room and try to get back on
[Kilee] 8:58pm: you got it captain
Newt turned back to his computer screen. There was a number on the top, it was glowing and it said 0/10.
Newt made a face but clicked on it. Giant white letters appeared on the screen, blinking. It read, are you ready to play. Newt hit start and bit his lip. This was fucking weird.
A question block flashed across the screen.
-In a friend group are you usually the quiet or loud one?-
Newt made a face again but clicked on quiet.
The black boxes shifted and another question appeared.
-When posed with a conflict, do you diffuse or antagonize?-
Newt clicked on diffuse.
-Do you prefer working in a team or alone?-
He hit in a team this time, thinking of the garage.
-Are you optimistic or pessimistic?-
After a moment of thought Newt hit optimistic.
-Would you rather play or watch?-
Newt frowned at that one due to the fact that it made little to no sense, but he clicked on play.
-Do you fear death?-
Newt started to get an uneasy feeling in his stomach, but he clicked no.
-Would you die to protect your friends?-
Instantly Newt hit yes.
-Would you sacrifice yourself for your cause?-
Newt's heart was pounding now, but he clicked yes again.
-If your friend was in danger would you protect them by any means necessary?-
Another yes. Newt's hands were sweating then.
The last question on the screen made Newt's blood run cold.
-Do you miss your sister Issac?-
Newt took a shaky breath and clicked yes. As soon as he hit the button, the room went black again. Some weird sounds came through his headset, but he paid them little attention. His heart was hammering in his chest. How did they know his name? How did they know Lizzy was his sister? How did they know Sang was him? Who the fuck were they? And what the fuck did they want?
The room lit back up again, and the rest of the garage was there. They were back on their colored circles.
"Guys?" Newt asked quickly into the mic.
"We're here," Minho said softly.
"You guys okay?" Newt asked, something was off in their voices.
"Yeah," Teresa cut in. "That was just a weird fucking test."
"It was." Thomas swallowed hard.
"They know my name," Newt admitted. His mouth was dry.
"They know about my parents," Minho said quietly. He was barely whispering and he sounded crushed.
"They know about the stupid panic attacks I have at school."
"They asked about-" Teresa broke off. "I'm sorry I can't."
"It's okay," Newt assured her. "It's okay, it was just some stupid test to freak us all out."
"What if it wasn't?" Thomas asked. "Wha-what if they're watching us? What if they know where we live I me-"
"O, realx," Teresa said gently. "It's okay."
"Wait guys what's that?"
A podium rose in the middle of the room. It looked like a pin board and there was a piece of paper on it.
"I'll read it," Minho said as he walked his character over and grabbed the paper.
"What's it say?" Newt asked, his heart pounding in his chest again.
"I-it's giving us titles?" Minho sounded confused.
"What do you mean?" Teresa asked.
"It says our results placed us...Sang, you're the glue."
"The fuck does that mean?" Newt asked as he made a weird face.
"Like hell if I know, that's all it says for you. For me it says I'm the leader."
"That one makes sense," Thomas added in, his voice still sounded shaky.
"Del's says, the betrayer."
"What?!" Teresa snapped. "That's fucking insane I'd never!"
"It's okay, Del, we know," Newt said quickly.
Minho made a weird coughing sound.
"What does mine say?" Thomas asked, his voice sounding empty.
"Uh, it's stupid."
"What does it fucking say Minho."
"Uh it says to be killed."
Thomas logged off immediately, his mic falling dead.
"He's not okay," Teresa said instantly.
"Newt can you check on him?" Minho asked.
"What? Me? Why?"
"You seem to understand him. Please, I'm worried."
"Okay," Newt said softly. "I'll talk to you guys later."
Newt hopped off the server, surprised to see Thomas was already on their private one titled "math help".
"Tommy?" Newt asked softly.
"I-I can't breathe," Thomas wheezed out. His breath was coming out in hard forced puffs against the mic.
"I know." Newt's skin was prickling with panic, he didn't know what to do. "How can I help?"
Thomas let out a choked sob. "J-just talk please."
Newt cleared his throat and bunched his hands up in his lap. "You know before I met you guys I really had no one except my sister. No one liked me, well Eden did because she was Lizzy's best friend but you guys are the first people who liked me for me. You guys were and are my first real best friends because no matter what is going on in the world whenever I talk to you guys I always feel like it's okay and I can get through it. We can get through anything Tommy, we all can together and I swear on my bloody life nothing is going to happen to you. I won't allow it. It's some stupid trick to scare you because who ever these people are, that's all they want. They want to scare us into not looking because they know we're close to finding something they don't want us to see. I promise you Tommy you'll be okay, me, Teresa and Minho won't let them touch you. If I have to bloody run to your house to make sure you're safe I will. It's going to be okay. Plus you can still backout."
"No," Thomas said through his shaky voice. "I'm not backing out."
"Tommy you had a panic attack I'd understand if-"
"No. Like you said we do it together. This happens sometimes okay. Promise you won't think less of me for it."
Newt let out a breath, feeling his chest tighten. "You think I would?"
"I don't know," Thomas admitted softly.
"I'd never even dream of it."
Thomas sighed and groaned. "I hate that this happens to me."
"It's a stressful situation, it's normal to feel overwhelmed or stressed."
"No Newt, you don't get it, they happen all the time. I'm constantly worried or freaked out or paranoid and it just sucks."
"I can't even imagine," Newt admitted truthfully.
"They used to make fun of me at school, when they had to shut down the halls because I had one during passing time. I can't help it when they happen, it's just something wrong with my head."
"It's okay Tommy, you can't blame yourself."
"It's so stupid! I freak out over nothing! Okay I mean maybe this time it was provoked but you guys all handled it fine!"
"No one thinks less of you."
Thomas scoffed. "They're probably worried about my mental stability."
"No you dumbass," Newt said gently. "They're worried because they care about you."
"Sometimes, I feel like you guys are too good to be true," Thomas admitted softly.
"I feel that way too," Newt agreed.
Thomas was quiet for a while, his breath slowly going back to normal against the mic.
"You know I used to be really sad," Newt said out of nowhere.
"Yeah?"
"Like really sad, I used to hurt myself a lot just so I could feel something. You can still see it if you look real hard, on my arms. They're reminders of where I used to be but also reminders of where I'm not anymore."
"There's no shame in that," Thomas said quickly. "We all do what we have to do sometimes."
"I used to stay in bed for days and miss school because I couldn't get up."
"Do you feel that way anymore?" Thomas asked.
"No, I haven't for a while...what I'm trying to say Tommy is none of us are perfect, we all have our own battles and nothing makes us any less of a person for it."
"I guess."
"Do you think any less of me?"
"Of course not!" Thomas rushed to say. "No Newt, never."
"Then don't think for a second we'd think any less of you."
Thomas huffed out a sad sounding laugh. "You're such a good person Newt, I'm so lucky that I met you."
"I could say the same about you." Newt felt a smile slowly spreading over his face.
"Well good because now that you let me talk to you about my deep rooted issues I'm gonna have some weird attachment to you, it's not ten times harder to get rid of me."
Newt smiled wider. "I hope you know I don't take that as a threat."
"Well that's good I think."
Newt laughed at that. "Don't be too hard on yourself okay?"
"I'll try not to."
Newt fiddled with the strings on his sweatpants. "Lizzy would have liked you."
"You think so?"
"I know so, she probably would have been obsessed with you."
Thomas laughed at that. "Oh hey before I forget, I was gonna tell you that I told my mom that I'm bisexual yesterday."
"Yeah? How'd that go?"
"She was cool about it, asked a couple questions then asked if it was because of Ben, oh Ben was bleacher boy. I guess she knew about that."
"Well I'm glad it went well."
"Yeah I wanted to thank you, for helping me figure it all out. I feel better, knowing I guess."
"I'm really happy for you Tommy," Newt said softly because he was.
"You know when we meet in person one day I'm gonna give you the biggest hug ever."
Newt laughed at that. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Thomas cleared his throat. "You're the only person who's ever made me feel like it was okay to be completely myself."