Eyes snapping open, a hand flying to her mouth, Beginning flinches at the crash. The gate, now little more than a bent, twisted wreck a good ten feet away, has skidded all the way out into the street. The hinges, worn almost solidly together, have been snapped like they were rotten wood.
There are deep gashes on her knuckles, already blossoming with purple bruises and healing right before her eyes.
Beginning sucks in a half-panicked breath. Her head is spinning with the same rush as when she landed her first jump, and she knows, knows that this is something that she's not meant to be able to do.
"Wow. That was destructive. Let's hope that Jealousy isn't mad at you for ruining her gate..." It's Negativity, hovering a street away like a particularly unpleasant shadow. For a split second, Beginning thinks that she'd like to do the same thing to Negativity that she did to the gate. She breathes again, and just as quickly, the feeling passes. She's not going to sink to their level. Hurting people will make her just as bad as the rest of them. Beginning is not going to lose herself to them.
Not quite sure what to say, Beginning just looks up, meeting Negativity's red gaze. The other girl has eyes that nearly glow, a solid, brilliant red shining out of the fog from this distance. Beginning can feel herself trembling. Maybe she did just make a terrible mistake.
"What, not gonna talk? That means you know you did something wrong, huh? You really messed it up this time. Jealousy's gonna be mad, and she'll hurt you for breaking it, stupid." Negativity's low voice slides over every syllable, and despite her nearly somber tone, Beginning gets the feeling that she's greatly enjoying having someone to pick on.
"You don't need to be so rude," she replies, trying not to sound bitter or afraid. "I didn't... d-didn't mean to break it. I didn't think that I was strong enough to do... that. I wouldn't have done it if I knew!"
"Yikes, you are dumb..." Negativity sighs, "What kind of stupid person doesn't think that they'll break something if they hit it? I was going to say that you were pretty strong, for an idiot, but you went and messed it up. You don't even know how strong you are, useless." She tilts her head, hair spilling over her shoulders like ink. Thorns emerge from her mouth with every word, drawing blood, and she pauses to yank them away.
Beginning thinks again that maybe she'd like to smack her.
"Okay, sure," she says instead, unable to keep the irritation fully out of her voice. "You can say whatever you want. But I'm not going to listen to it. Goodbye, Negativity." Beginning turns and tries to leave, fully intending to walk off and leave the awful situation behind her.
No sooner has she taken a step than she's stopped by a cold, thin hand on her shoulder, grabbing with enough force to bruise.
"Hey, where do you think you're going? I was talking to you, you know? It's rude to just walk off when someone's speaking to you." Negativity tilts her head, and the thorns move with her. There's one on her lip, just poking out of her mouth. Beginning winces. It looks awfully painful.
Negativity's hair is like a curtain. All that beginning can clearly see of her is one red eye, all but glowing in the low light. The hand on her shoulder feels much too thin, cold, bony fingers digging into Beginning's skin like thorns themselves. There's a stench of something rotten in the air, like dead plants, rotting and wet, or something long forgotten and left to decompose.
For a second, she almost thinks it's funny that the girl with such awful words is calling her rude for wanting to leave. Then, the second passes, and she's just as disappointed with these girls as she's always been.
Beginning thinks, distantly, that she should be scared. She's been so nervous around the lot of them so far. She knows by now that most of them could probably kill her if they wanted to. But just as acutely, she's aware of the strength that came out of her when she broke the gate.
"Okay. What did you want to say to me?" She's still measuring her words, still being careful. Even though she feels a bit more like making a run for it and hoping Negativity isn't fast enough to track her down.
"Yuck, you're grouchy. What a bad attitude. And people say I'm unpleasant." Negativity frowns, yanking at her thorns again. "You're so boring, y'know? Just a doormat who does whatever we tell you to. I'd hate it here too if I were you, but it's like, all your own fault that you get hurt." She almost grins, some smug expression crossing her face.
And Beginning can't take a second more of it.
"It's not my fault! It's not my fault at all that you all are so awful!" She's shouting before she can stop herself, voice echoing off into the fog. "You think I like this? I hate being here! I hate every second that I have to deal with all of you! You're terrible! I haven't done anything wrong, and all you do is hurt me. I hate you! I hate this! You're all the worst."
It all comes out of her faster than she can stop, all the pent up frustration she's been holding spilling out at once. Deep down, Beginning knows that she's probably making a mistake, but everyone has been nothing but awful to her so far, and she's so, so sick of it all. From the moment Jealousy told her that none of them knew why they were here, from the moment the gate snapped like nothing under her hand, the miserable sort of anger she's been keeping inside had been ready to burst.
Beginning is left breathing hard, fists clenched, half expecting Negativity to hit her or worse. This is exactly the kind of thing she's been trying to avoid doing, trying to avoid for fear of actually making the girls mad, and now she's gone and blown up in the face of one of them.
But instead of getting angry, all Negativity does is smile a bit more, grin cutting across her face like it's been sliced in.
"Yeah, they're all the worst. You get it, huh? All of the others, they're just useless, self-centered idiots who only think about themselves. I mean, I'm just as bad. We all are. Everyone here disgusts me, and I bet you feel the same." Negativity slips right back into the same awful words, narrowing her one visible eye in something close to delight.
The anger drops from Beginning like a stone. She's too disgusted to hold onto it. Negativity doesn't have any second thoughts about talking so terribly of her allies, even, and Beginning is turning out to be just as bad.
Suddenly, Beginning can't stand being near Negativity for another second. Her whole attitude, so delighted to find every wrong, is sickening. Beginning's vision blurs, hands shaking, and before she has time to think, she's aiming for the closest building and taking off.
It's a miracle she doesn't crash. Beginning can barely see where she's going, and all she's thinking is that she doesn't want to be there.
When she's far, far away, Beginning lets herself drop. She plummets down from the rooftops, hitting the ground hard. It doesn't matter if it hurts. This awful body will heal itself in minutes no matter what she does.
For a minute, she sits, crumpled, by the first building she could lean against. She's tired, so tired. She thinks she feels like crying again, but the tears won't come. Her eyes burn and her hands shake, but all she can do is lay back against the wall and try to remind herself to breathe.
She's starting to wish that she'd never woken up.
It's a minute later, after Beginning has laid there with her eyes closed, trying to keep every piece of herself together, that she hears a quick little scrabbling noise coming from somewhere near her.
Beginning jolts upright, nearly cracking her horns on the wall behind her. In front of her, crouched down like a little animal, is Cowardly. Her dark hair is standing up at odd angles, and she's wearing a new dress, this time one that covers the multitude of eyes dotting her arms. She's chewing at her fingers again, a bit of blood dripping down her hand. Every eye on her face is wide and round like she's expecting something horrible to happen.
"Uh, hello, Cowardly..." Beginning mutters, just loud enough for the other girl to hear. By this point, she doesn't think she wants to be dealing with any of them for a very long time. Maybe forever.
Cowardly squeaks, eyes going impossibly wider, and curls in a bit. She leans too far, though, and is tipping over onto her rear end a moment later, limbs spreading out as she scrambles to catch herself. It's weirdly funny, at least compared to everything else she's been through lately, and Beginning has to try very hard not to laugh.
"Are you okay?" she asks instead, crawling over to check on the girl. Cowardly makes another little yelp, forcing herself to her knees.
"F-Fine! Don't come any cl-closer! I mean it!" She tries to scramble to her feet, but she doesn't get far. The long hem of her dress catches around her legs, tearing as she struggles with it.
"I... I won't hurt you," Beginning ventures, half-shocked by the idea that she could be the source of anyone's fear. "Pl-please don't struggle like that; you're ripping your dress. ...How is it getting so torn, anyway? It's just caught around your legs, isn't it?" She's sort of tempted to lean forward and try to untangle even part of the mess. She also has the feeling that getting closer would only make Cowardly panic more.
Finally getting herself upright, Cowardly scoots a good foot away, immediately going back to biting at her hand.
"It's... it's 'cause of my skin. It's sharp, see?" Nervously, she gestures at one of her shoulders, where a few jagged spikes that Beginning failed to notice are poking through the fabric, tearing the white of her blouse.
"Oh. Okay. Uh, are you alright? I'm really sorry about startling you, and I'm sorry about the dress! I didn't... um, didn't mean to scare you so badly." Beginning tries to smile. The nervousness is back in her voice, now that her anger has calmed down. It's like, she thinks, there's little to her but fear once she has no fury to back it up. How pathetic.
"I'm fine... not that you care. I m-mean, even as the new girl, I'm way below you. You shouldn't b-bother with someone like me. The others will just... j-just hate you more because you're too good." She bites her lip, hard, eyes slowly starting to look in different directions, as if searching for danger.
How bitter. Beginning had sort of been hoping that someone as fearful as Cowardly would think differently than the other girls, but she's already starting to doubt that impression.
"Come on, now. That wouldn't stop me from being kind." Beginning forces a smile, trying to seem more confident than she feels.
Cowardly blinks with all of her eyes. Once. Then again. Her face scrunches up like she's not sure what to do, and she begins to worry at her hands again, picking at the skin. For a second, she stares directly at Beginning. Then, she can't seem to meet her eyes.
"Oh yeah, y-you're stupid nice..." Cowardly trails off, making a very strange expression. "You're nice, right?"
"Um, I mean, I hope so? I'm not trying to be mean to anyone, but things do come out the wrong way sometimes," Beginning replies, a bit caught off-guard by the question. It's... kind of odd to be asked that.
"Yeah, you're a nice person," Cowardly says again, like she's making a point. Beginning gets the sudden impression that she's just said something she shouldn't have, but Cowardly doesn't lash out.
Instead, she steps a bit closer to Beginning, crossing her arms shyly behind her back. Something like a smile crosses her thin little face, and Beginning shivers. It should be nice to see someone smiling, and yet, she can't help but get the feeling that she's made some kind of mistake.
"S-So, why were you hopping around up there?" Cowardly asks, voice weirdly soft. "You're definitely better at it than me... and you've only been here for a little bit. I'm, I'm p-pretty impressed."
"Oh, uh, I had an argument with someone..." She doesn't really want to explain what happened, especially not the part about losing her temper at Negativity. "It's nothing to worry about, though! I'm okay, um, I just needed to get some time by myself, I think." Beginning forces another little smile. She has a bad feeling, yeah, but she doesn't want to be rude, especially not when this is the first person to be even sort of nice to her.
"Um, g-glad you figured it out." When Cowardly replies, it sounds almost like she doesn't know how to say it. Beginning isn't exactly surprised that she doesn't know what a normal conversation sounds like, but it still kind of hurts to watch her struggle to say something decent.
A few minutes go by like that, just going back and forth. It's painfully obvious that Cowardly doesn't know what she's doing, but just talking to someone without getting yelled at or hurt or intimidated is so nice that Beginning really doesn't care. She feels half normal, for a few minutes, whatever standard normal might be now.
After a little while, though, Cowardly starts making a nervous face. "Uh," she starts, "I'm sorry. You're not gonna l-like this."
"What? Did I do something wrong?" Cowardly is actually starting to shake, and Beginning is suddenly very, very worried that she's done something to ruin this.
"No... no, um, it's just, just, uh--" She takes a big breath, as if trying to find it in her to say what's so awful. "You remember our l-leader, right? The one in the, um, ch-church? I'm sure you've seen it by now; wh-what am I? Stupid? Uh, anyway, sh-she wants to talk to you. You've been, b-been here for a while, and she w-wants to, uh, check in and all..."
Beginning's heart, if she even has one anymore, drops in her chest. That's where she took Vanity. Beginning remembers all too clearly what it felt like to even stand near that building. The idea of going inside is nothing short of terrifying.
But Cowardly is shaking now, and Beginning forces herself to keep it together. Of all the girls, this one has been nothing but nice to her. The least she can do is keep it together and not scare her more.
"It's okay. That's okay. It's a little scary, yeah, but I can do it." Beginning smiles, and on some sudden impulse, reaches out a hand to ruffle Cowardly's hair. "Can you come with me, please? I won't make you go inside or anything, but I don't think I can find the church on my own."
Every one of Cowarly's eyes goes impossibly wide. Her shaking triples. The sheer adoration in her eyes is almost uncomfortable.
"Y-Yeah! Of, of course! I, uh I know the way there really well. You won't get lost at all if I take you." She sounds downright desperate, and it's such a relief from everyone else that Beginning's smile turns a bit more genuine. Maybe there's at least one person here who isn't awful.
It'll be okay, she tells herself. She can do this. She has someone on her side now, if even for now. Who knows, she might even be a good person. The church was scary, yeah, but it's definitely not fair to judge before she's even met the person.
Feeling a renewed sense of optimism, Beginning and Cowardly start off down the foggy streets, Cowardly still all but glowing.
Maybe this will be where things start to turn around.