As soon as she's outside, the cold seeps into her all over again. Beginning shives, frowning. She reminds herself to keep an open mind, to at least try to accept the strange world that she's been thrown into. A gust of wind blows, swirling through her skirt and sending chill all the way through her. She takes a breath, long and deep, and starts walking.
She goes slowly, trying to remember every turn she makes. If she gets lost here, she doubts anyone will be so kind as to help her get back.
She's made it to the part of the town with bigger, more rotten houses, when a loud, clattering sound echoes in the distance, bouncing off the buildings nearby. Beginning looks around, trying to place the sound, which seems to be coming from above her. It only grows louder, closer, and after just a moment, Hysteria lands directly in front of her with a crash and a shower of debris.
Beginning squeaks, taking a quick step backward. Hysteria stands, shakes herself off and grins. Her lanky body is covered in cuts, and her skin is bruised black-purple in huge splotches spreading across her limbs.
"New girl!" she screeches, voice so loud that it echoes into the fog. "Did I scare ya?" Beginning nods, just slightly, and Hysteria cackles. "I was up on the roofs! That's cool, isn't it? You think I'm cool, huh? If I'm cool, you gotta look at me lots or I'll kill ya!" With every word, she leans in closer, her expression going more intense. Her four arms land on Beginning's shoulders, digging into the marks that Obsession made just a little while ago. Watching her three mouths talk is bizarre, one voice emerging from three places.
"You've got good eyes, new girl." Suddenly, her voice drops, going low and hushed like she's sharing a secret. "I like you." That time, only one mouth talks and she leans in uncomfortably close, breath hot against Beginning's face. Beginning tries not to squirm away.
"Wait, wait. That's... You went too quickly. I don't understand. I, um, thank you?" She's trying to keep up, but once again, this person talks much too fast, says too many things that don't make any sense.
"It's okay!" Hysteria laughs, going right back to loud and annoying. "I just want your attention, get it? As long as you look at me, we'll get along just fine. You can even hit me if you want. I don't care!" All three grins stretch wider, vicious and sharp on her skinny face. "But for now, here, I'll show you something cool! You can be grateful to me for it!"
With that, Hysteria grabs Beginnings hands in hers, squeezes tight, and lets go, taking a step back. With unnatural ease, she jumps, landing on the rooftop behind her as if it was nothing. Beginning's head aches. There's something wrong with that, even if she can't place quite what.
"Come up here with me!" Hysteria yells. "Let's play!"
"You expect me to do that?" Beginning calls after her. "I... I can't jump like that. I can't do that." Her vision spins for an instant, blurring.
"Of course you can," Hysteria grins. "Just think about where you want to land, and jump! This isn't even that high. It'll be easy! C'mon! C'mon!" She's cackling, grinning with all three mouths, and yelling loudly enough that Beginning is half sure the whole town can hear it.
Somehow, Beginning knows that she's not going to get away with saying no. There's no way she can do it. She knows she can't jump like that. Her body won't do it. She eyes the rooftop, at least ten feet off the ground, and feels her throat go tight. But... it can't hurt to try, can it?
Following Hysteria's instructions, Beginning focuses on the top of the roof, where she wants to land. She takes a breath, hoping that nothing will go too wrong. With something like a hope that it will work, she jumps.
Air rushes past her ears. Scenery distorts. She's struck with a feeling of flying, of falling.
She clears the rooftop by four feet.
But all too soon, her body comes crashing down. Beginning hits the shingled roof, letting out a panicked squeak on impact. Her knees give out on her landing and sending her crumpling to the rough, splintered surface. She hits hard, but nowhere near as hard as she would have expected, and even the pain of skidding her knees on the shingles feels minimal.
Beginning lies frozen, head spinning. She's... she's on the rooftop. She jumped like it was nothing, her body as light as air, if only for an instant. Hysteria laughs beside her, loud and annoying.
"I told you!" She cackles, spinning around aimlessly. "I knew you could do it! Your landing was shit, but you're up here now! You did it!"
"How-- How did I do that?" Beginning asks, shock evident in her voice. She doesn't know why, but that jump felt wrong, like she shouldn't have been able to do it. Her headache throbs again, making her flinch miserably.
"We can all do it! What, you're so stupid you didn't know? Or are your memories so fuckin' scrambled that you forgot?" Hysteria leans in too close all over again, eyes practically glowing as she stares Beginning down like a piece of prey. She grabs Beginning's hands and pulls her roughly to her feet, ignoring the way she stumbles on the rough surface.
Of course. Beginning isn't sure what she expected, but more cruel words hardly come as a surprise. She pointedly ignores the comments, unwilling to make a fuss out of something that she knows she won't win. Hysteria is clearly a little unstable, and Beginning doesn't think she'd like to find out what would happen if she somehow angered the bigger girl. She doesn't think she'd like to find out what would happen if she angered any of them, for that matter. It's not worth standing up for herself.
"So you all can jump like that?" she asks instead, purposefully diverting the subject. "That's amazing! I didn't think I could do anything like that." At her words, Hysteria's three mouths break into wild grins.
"Oh, of course," she says, drawing out the words like they've stuck. "We can do all kinds of cool things, but, obviously, I'm the one you should pay the most attention to! I'm amazing, so look only at me, okay?" With every word, she inches forward, crowding Beginning and pushing her backward. "Here! I'll even show you something else cool!"
Beginning realizes abruptly that she's at the edge of the roof.
Hysteria, with all four arms, gives her a vicious shove.
With a shriek, Beginning falls. It's different than when she jumped, and she hits the ground below her with a rough thud, padded only by sharp rocks and bits of debris. The world spins around her all over again, up-side and down twirling like they can't decide which goes where.
It takes a second, but pain lances up her legs and back, hot and sharp. She lays crumpled in a heap on the ground, too scared to move and find out just what parts of her are broken.
"Have fun, new girl!" Hysteria screeches from back on the roof. "We'll see how quick you fix yourself!" With a now-familiar clatter of her boots on the shingles, she scurries away, bounding from roof to roof too quickly to track, leaving Beginning alone on the street, aching all over.
But time passes, and the pain begins to ebb. It's not natural, Beginning thinks, how the ache simply fades from her limbs like it was never there. She can actually feel pieces of herself knitting back together, healing like nothing was ever wrong. In minutes, there's no pain left. She feels like she's never been hurt, even, it vanishes so quickly from her body.
Beginning finally sits up, easing herself to her knees and half expecting everything to start hurting all over again. It doesn't. Nothing hurts on any part of her. She sits there for a long moment, gaping at how quickly this body healed itself. She's once again struck with the feeling that it isn't hers, that something's wrong, that she shouldn't have been able to heal so quickly. But Hysteria knew that she'd fix herself, or at least, Beginning hopes she did. She thinks of the wounds covering Hysteria's body, how the other girl never seemed to be in pain, and decides that she most definitely knew.
So she pulls herself to her feet, still half expecting her body to hurt. She takes a deep breath, trying to reassure herself that Hysteria meant well, and keeps walking. It won't do to give up now.
She wants to see more of the town, wants to find some clue as to who she is. Perhaps, if she can learn more about the monstrous girls that surround her, she'll be able to figure out for herself what she is. It doesn't seem like anyone else in the town will tell her, at any rate.
Not much farther, and Beginning starts to see what looks like broken-down power lines, dark wood towering above the rotting buildings, crisscrossing wires stretching over rooftops and slicing through the sky.
Beginning's eyes are drawn to a dark figure hanging from one of the higher wires. She almost squeaks, startled, but catches herself just in time. It's Selfishness, tall horns dark and imposing in the shadows of the fog. Her dark clothing stands out like ink-spots against the white, long hair a curtain hiding her from the world.
Beginning sucks in a nervous breath. After what just happened with Hysteria, she doesn't think she wants to be noticed again, much less by someone as mean as Selfishness. She's half tempted to just turn around and go back, hoping that she doesn't get caught while she's trying to leave.
But before she can make an attempt to get away without another confrontation, the figure dangling from the wires moves.
With unnatural grace, Selfishness drops from the wire she was perched on, twirling herself around it, and falling just far enough to catch herself on another cord. She lets go, landing in front of Beginning as if her little stunt took no effort at all. Selfishness towers over the shorter girl, claws glimmering like knife-blades in the low light of the ever-present fog.
On instinct, Beginning takes a step back. Selfishness is giving her a particularly vicious look, and she doubts that she's going to want to stick around for this. Beginning debates trying to flee.
"Ah, new girl," Selfishness drawls, tilting her head just enough that a bit of her hair falls into her face. "You're impressed, huh?" She cracks a smile, baring vicious fangs. "You damn should be! I'm the only one who's that good. I make those other bitches look like dumb klutzes." Her sentence ends in a cackle, laugh rising loud into the fog. Beginning shivers. This person is mean down to her core, and she doubts that she could defend herself if the bigger girl decided to turn violent with her.
"Ugh, relax," Selfishness orders, interrupting Beginning's thoughts and making her flinch. "You're terrified, stupid. It's not like I'm going to kill you." She rolls her eyes. "That person wants you alive, so fuck if I'm stupid enough to go against that. You're safe, for now."
Beginning looks up at Selfishness incredulously. Obsession made it clear that she wouldn't be in one piece for long if she opened the wrong door. Hysteria shoved her off a roof. Somehow, the other girl's insistence that she won't do anything harmful isn't very reassuring.
"Okay..." She says hesitantly, still eyeing those claws. "So what are you doing out here? You were awfully high up." Beginning thinks of Hysteria, easily bounding across the rooftops. Landing on a thin, movable wire seems considerably more difficult than that. However, Selfishness is long and graceful where Hysteria was lanky and off-balance, moves with the kind of fluidity and composure that Hysteria clearly lacked.
"It's fun!" Selfishness crows, rocking on her heels. "No one else can do what I do, and I'm above all of them. Everyone else is like insects from up there, just like they should be!" She smiles, wild and proud.
"O-Oh. Um, that's nice?" Beginning tries, rendered half speechless by the undisguised pride in the other girl's voice. "I'll leave you to it, then." She tries to back away and gets all of five steps before Selfishness kicks hard at the back of her legs, sending her crumpling to the road with a soft oof.
Selfishness cackles again, and Beginning has a good guess that the same wicked grin has returned to her face. She doesn't need to see Selfishness to know that she's utterly proud of herself.
"What was that for?" she asks, trying not to whine. Once again, the pain is healing quickly, but the sheer cruelty of the act has her reeling.
"I was trying to be nice," Selfishness responds, rolling her eyes. "You see these?" She holds up one hand, flexing her claws. Beginning swallows hard. "If I grab you with these, it's gonna hurt a lot more than a little fall. You're lucky I was feeling generous." With her nose in the air, Selfishness towers over Beginning, exuding disgusting levels of self-confidence.
"Oh. Uh, thanks," Beginning mumbles, feeling like she'd rather get up and walk away. She is pretty glad that Selfishness didn't try to grab her with those, but she also doubts that the other girl's motivations were kind.
"See, that's the attitude you should have. Thank me, not those other ones. I'm the most important one here, so save your politeness for the one who's superior." A hand to her chest, claws just barely brushing her skin, Selfishness is the picture of self-satisfied. Beginning thinks she regrets being quite so polite if all it's going to do is fuel the other girl's ego. "Now," Selfishness continues, "you got here at just the right time. You're going to be my errand girl for today, got it?" She laughs, loud and braying.
Beginning pulls herself to her knees, still feeling a bit imbalanced by the horns weighing down her head. She doesn't like the sound of that, and yet, she doesn't really know what else she expected. If the bigger (and clearly stronger) girl plans to force her to carry out who-knows-what kinds of errands, she doubts she'd be able to just say no and walk away.
So she stands up, meeting Selfishness' eyes and trying to look more confident than she feels, even if it's clearly futile.
"Ah, there's a nice look," Selfishness smirks, leaning in closer. "You're starting to get a backbone, huh, new girl?" Beginning sets her jaw and doesn't answer. "Whatever, 's not like I care what you're thinking. See, my errand for you today is real simple; go talk to Vanity, and tell her that she's expected at the church tonight. Oh, and walk there with her. She tries to run away sometimes, ya get it? So you have to make sure she gets there." Grinning, Selfishness takes a step back, pushing some of her hair out of her face. Her horns are dark against the fog, a crescent moon of bone.
"Wh-Why do I have to do that?" Beginning asks nervously. She already has a good guess of what's happening, and she doesn't like it. Selfishness's self-satisfied grin at her words, all teeth and squinted eyes, only confirms what she's dreading is the truth.
"It was my errand. You-know-who wanted me to go get her 'cause I'm strong an' shit. But I'm having fun here, and you're beneath me, so you get to do it! Ain't you lucky!" She laughs again, clearly pleased with herself.
With something like a sigh, Beginning gives up. She's not getting out of this one. She's not stupid. At least running someone else's errand is a better option than getting shoved off of a roof... she hopes. Vanity did seem rather tame, but at this point, Beginning isn't trusting any of these girls.
"Fine. Okay," she mutters, heaving a miserable sigh. With a patronizing little wave, Selfishness dismisses her, smiling wide.
"Go that way!" she grins, pointing in a direction Beginning hasn't tried yet. "She'll be sitting by herself on a bench or some shit." The fog churns, thick as ever, down an even more intimidating street, all higher, darker buildings stretching up into the white. Beginning swallows, reminding herself that there's really no saying no this time. She has to go.
Right, okay. There are more important things to deal with now than Selfishness's sadistic amusement at passing her errand off on someone who can't say no. Beginning pointedly tunes out the sound of swinging wires behind her, of heels ringing off the stone. The fog swallows up the noise soon enough as she moves, blocking out everything behind her. Then, there's nothing but towering buildings, falling apart under their own weight and exposing the rotting frames underneath.
It's not long before she finds Vanity, all black robes and pale skin shining in the low light of the fog. The other girl is sitting on what remains of a broken down bench, studying her reflection in a jagged shard of mirror.
The only sign Vanity gives of noticing Beginning's presence is a brief glance, dark eyes flicking towards her for an instant. Then, she's back to staring at herself, running fingers through her short, sleek hair. Beginning would be offended if she wasn't expecting as much.
"Um, Vanity?" she starts, daring to stand in front of her. "Could you listen to me for a second, please?"
Vanity gives a look of utter disdain, but looks up, crooking one brow.
"Oh, thank you!" Beginning squeaks before she can stop herself. Somehow, Vanity's attention feels like something important. "Selfishness wanted me to tell you that you're supposed to be at the church tonight... I'm not really sure what she means by that, but, um, I'm supposed to go with you and make sure you get there." Beginning smiles, trying to look optimistic, even though she already has a bad feeling about this all.
"Well then, you can tell her that I won't be going," Vanity replies primly. "I'm busy, and such a pointless errand can wait." With a haughty sniff, she looks back down, turning away and pointedly ignoring Beginning, going right back to staring into her mirror.
Yep. That's more or less what Beginning expected her to say. With a little sigh, she raises a hand to her forehead. She has to try very hard not to snap, well aware that she'd get nowhere by getting angry.
"I can't tell her that. You know she'd kill me... or, um, something. Can you please just do it? I really don't want to get in any more trouble today, and I'm supposed to get you there..." Beginning trails off, unsure. She doubts that Vanity is going to listen to her no matter what she does, but she has a bit of an idea. Hesitantly, she tries it. "The person who wants you there is your leader, right? Won't she be angry if you don't go?"
Abruptly, Vanity's eyes go wide. Beginning resists a self-satisfied smile. She's just done something very right.
Vanity stands up so quickly that Beginning has to take a quick step back, slipping her mirror into some hidden fold of her robes. With something that sounds worryingly like a hiss, she grabs Beginning's hand in hers, storming off down the streets with Beginning dragging in tow.
Beginning would complain about being pulled so roughly, but she did kind of just get what she wanted. She tries to match Vanity's pace, stumbling only a little when the other girl refuses to slow down. Despite feeling a bit like Vanity is only being so rough out of spite, Beginning doesn't make a fuss. She tries to tell herself that she's not afraid of the other girl.
It doesn't work very well.
Vanity is cold in a way that none of the others are. Her face, like porcelain, barely moves, even when she speaks. There's something threatening, eerily beautiful about her, something deeply unsettling.
"So, uh, Vanity?" Beginning starts, trying to fill the silence. The only sound so far has been Vanity's low heels clicking on the stone roads, echoing into the fog. "You're really pretty, huh? I mean! That's kind of a weird thing to say, isn't it? But, um... you're different, I guess."
"By which you mean to say that the others are ugly, correct?" Vanity quips without so much as glancing at Beginning. "Hm, it's good to see that someone here has taste. Of course, you think I'm beautiful. I'm the most beautiful thing in this rotten, ugly world." Her tone is soft, but her words are confident, as if the very idea of being wrong has never occurred to her.
"Um... well..." Beginning stumbles, not quite sure what to say. It feels rude to actually call anyone ugly, even if they can't hear it. Even if it's kind of true. Vanity probably doesn't need any more encouraging anyway.
"I won't forgive you for interrupting me," Vanity says next. "You're useless and annoying, and even if you're not entirely ugly, I won't tolerate anything that's less perfect than me." Her dark eyes flicker over, something like malice lurking behind the glassy surface. Even with such cruel words, her face barely moves, crimson lips only slightly parted.
"I didn't do anything." The words slip out faster than Beginning can contain them. "Um, I mean, I'm just doing what Selfishness told me to. Why are you going to be mad at me for that?"
Vanity doesn't say anything. She looks away and keeps walking, speeding up just enough that Beginning has to rush to keep up.
It's a small cruelty, and Beginning frowns. She wants to say something. She really, really wants to say something. Fortunately, she already knows how to keep her mouth shut. The walk is quiet again, punctuated only by Vanity giving some kind of direction, voice low and tense. It's uncomfortable, the kind of silence that only accompanies an argument, and somehow, Beginning already feels like she's lost.
The church that emerges out of the fog a few minutes later shocks her right out of those thoughts. It's not unusually big, but its dark silhouette casts an ominous atmosphere unlike anything Beginning has ever felt.
A chill runs through her, and her breath catches in her throat. Closer, gargoyles are revealed hanging from every surface, grotesque faces hanging open with mouths full of fangs. Carvings grace the walls; violent, bloody things depicting what appear to be executions. The building itself appears to be the tallest in the town, high steeple vanishing into the fog above.
The closer they get, the more Beginning feels like trying to run. Something about the building is making her feel absolutely sick like she needs to get away before something terrible happens. She can barely breathe, and her heart feels close to blocking off her throat.
"Uh, h-has this always been here?" When Beginning speaks, her voice sounds pathetically small, choked off and weak.
"Yes. It's... it's the oldest building in town." It's almost a relief that Vanity sounds just as unsteady. Beginning thinks of what it would be like to have to go inside the awful church, and swallows. Suddenly, she's a lot more sympathetic as to why Vanity was avoiding this particular errand.
A moment passes, quiet. The two of them stand about a block away from the church, and the feeling of dread has progressed to the point where Beginning can hardly breathe. She notices that Vanity is fidgeting with one sleeve, gloved hand picking at the fabric. It's an astonishing human motion. It almost comes as a shock that someone like Vanity would do it.
"You can go now," Vanity says at last. "You got me here as Selfishness wanted. Go scurry off and bother someone else. Let's hope no one decides you're worth killing." With her nose in the air, she steps away, heading towards the church. Beginning gets the feeling that Vanity is a lot less confident than she's trying to appear.
When the doors of the church begin to creak open on their own, Beginning's eyes close in something like terror
The feeling of dread is building. She can't look. If she sees inside, something, something will go horribly wrong. There's someone inside that church, someone terrible enough that they've polluted everything around it.
The fog, she notices, has thickened. She can't so much as see the church doors now. Vanity has been all but swallowed up.
Beginning runs.
Without knowing where she's going, she bolts back the way she came. Whatever happens, she can't stay by that church. Her heart pounding in her chest in time with every footfall, she runs.
She only stops when she's outside the town, when the same dark, twisted trees as before are starting to surround her. Despite the run, Beginning feels no more tired than before. Her body has no aches, no pains from pushing itself too hard. She gulps in air, chest heaving, but realizes, a second later, that she doesn't need it.
Shaking, Beginning falls to the ground. She scoots herself over to the closest tree, leaning against the cold, rough surface.
For a moment, she considers running away and not looking back. It would be easy to keep going. She could get away from this awful town and everyone in it. She'd never have to think of that church again, or who might be in it. The fog, thick in the air, fills her lungs, choking her on frigid air.
If she runs, she'd never know who she is. The chance of there being anything alive here besides the Girls of Virtue is slim. If she runs, she'd be leaving behind her only chance at understanding what she's doing here, why everything, down to the way her body moves is so wrong. She'd be alone with the knowledge that she doesn't belong in this fog-covered world.
"You'd like to run away, wouldn't you?"
A voice beside Beginning makes her jump, eyes flying open and a sharp little gasp leaving her.
It's Secrecy, standing beside her like a ghost summoned from the fog. Two of her eyes are closed, only the one on her forehead slitted open. Considering the pale film over it, Beginning wonders if it does her any good. Secrecy's cape is wrapped around her, hiding all of her but her face. She's like an apparition, a specter, in that moment more inhuman than the rest.
"Um, why... why are you here?" Beginning asks, feeling rather stupid as soon as the words leave her mouth. Secrecy's one eye closes and she angles her head, visibly annoyed.
"What a foolish question. Can a person not stay where they wish? Or are you going to claim to be the one to weigh our choices?" Her tone is bitter and low, and the chill in the air deems to drop a few degrees as she speaks. Even so, Beginning notes that Secrecy neatly dodged the question, never giving a straight answer to why she was here in the first place.
"Uh, I guess so? I mean, to the first part! I wouldn't, w-wouldn't try to make your choices for you or anything..." Beginning feels distinctly intimidated, almost frozen. She can already tell that she doesn't like speaking to this person, and when Secrecy tries to step away, leaving without so much as another word, a response to anything Beginning had said, the unpleasant feeling only grows.
"Wait!" she calls and almost chokes when Secrecy actually turns back. A part of her hates the idea of speaking to such a terrifying person, but it feels just as bad to be dismissed so easily by someone so cold.
"What do you want now?" Secrecy says, mouth moving slowly behind the wire stitching it shut. Beginning half wonders how she's able to talk.
"Well, uh, it's kind of rude to just run off like that, isn't it?" Even feeling stupid, Beginning keeps talking. She doesn't want this to end like the rest. Secrecy hasn't done anything violent yet, and for once, Beginning wants to come out of one of these conversations ahead, not bloody or terrified or feeling more than mildly disturbed.
"I don't care if I'm rude," Secrecy snaps back.
She doesn't say anything more, and Beginning bites her lip. This is frustrating already. Secrecy seemingly won't say anything more than half of what she should, cutting off her end of the conversation on purpose.
"Well, maybe you should." Beginning has been pushed around all day, and oh, is she sick of the same thing happening every time. Her mouth moves on almost on its own, tone the closest to unpleasant she's come yet. Beginning is tired. She just wants one of these rotten girls to take her seriously instead of acting like she's some useless idiot.
As soon as the words are out of her mouth, though, she realizes just what a mistake they may have been.
None of the girls have shown any hesitancy when it comes to hurting her so far, and it occurs to Beginning a bit too late that she might just have brought something awful onto herself this time.
But instead of reacting viciously, all Secrecy does is tilt her head. All three of her eyes open slowly, revealing their milky surfaces, and she stares like she can see every part of Beginning's soul.
"You doubt who you are, don't you?" she asks, quiet voice filling in the gaps of the fog. A chill runs down Beginning's spine like lightning.
"What are you saying? What do you mean by that?" Sounding frantic to her own ears, Beginning takes a step back. This person is different somehow than the rest of them, but she couldn't-- couldn't know why Beginning is here. It doesn't make sense. There's no reason why one of the girls should know so much... but, is there really a reason why she couldn't? What if this is the person who could tell her why she's here?
"You want to run away, I can tell," Secrecy continues. "You don't want to be here. All of us are terrible, aren't we? You hate us. You don't think you're anything like us. You're different and you know it. So you doubt."
Beginning can see every vein under Secrecy's pale skin. The girl talks like she knows everything, for just a moment, Beginning can believe it.
"So... what are you saying I do?"
"You think I know that?"
Of course. Of course, she's not going to get anything out of Secrecy like this. Anger boils hot in Beginning's throat, threatening to explode. Even if she did know anything, none of these girls would be willing to do anything to help her. Of course, Secrecy can guess that she hates them. Who wouldn't? It's no miracle that the other girl can figure out such obvious things. Beginning won't be fooled so easily.
"You're lying," she snaps, even as she knows it's stupid. Secrecy's mouth crooks behind the wire, an unreadable expression sliding across her face. "I won't believe you. You're making guesses, but you don't-- you don't know anything. I won't believe someone like you!"
"Very well," Secrecy says, voice frigid. "If that's what you think... have faith in yourself. Believe in the world that you see behind the fog. Just don't think that the rest of us don't have our own visions."
Beginning decides in seconds that she doesn't want to talk to this person anymore.
Without another word, she turns around and heads back for the town. It would be so easy to walk away then and there, to storm off into the fog and hope that her own strength will be enough to find her answers. But Beginning isn't dumb enough to hope for that. Her only chance is with the town, with the Girls of Virtue, and she knows it. She won't back away. She won't let Secrecy and all the rest scare her off. She's here for a reason, whatever it may be, and she will find out what it is.
The road back to town feels worse than ever alone. It's miserable, somehow, to know that she's walking straight back towards the whole mess of her own volition.
Beginning chews her lip until it bleeds, and finds the wound healed seconds later. Everything about this stupid body is wrong, even if she has no idea what's supposed to be right in the first place.
Her head is spinning, dizziness making her feel one wrong move away from choking. Beginning breaths. Beginning calms herself.
And she hates, with every fiber of her being, her world.
When she's far enough into the town that she won't be tempted to run away anymore, Beginning plops herself down near the first building she sees. The cold of the stone street sinks in through her dress in an instant, and the feel of the building behind her is somehow sickening. She doesn't like touching anything here, Beginning realizes. There's some awful feeling about this world like she doesn't want to so much as get close.
Beginning sits for a while, letting her eyes close so she doesn't have the see the fog. After a minute or two, the tears begin to fall. How nice, she thinks, as her face runs hot and wet, how nice that she can still cry.
Everything is wrong, here. She feels, down to her soul, that the body she's stuck in now isn't the person she's meant to be. And yet, there isn't a part of her that remembers what's right in the first place, what kind of person she's meant to be if not the one she sees right now. She knows that what she is is wrong, somehow, but she doesn't have the memory to compare it to what should be right.
So she's stuck. It would be so, so easy to run away, to vanish into the fog and never think about who she has to be again.
She could find her own answers, at her own pace, and no one would be there to make everything harder. It would be easier, Beginning thinks, to let her memories return in their own time.
She knows through every inch of her that that would never be true.