"No tricks--you two actually beat the guy?" asked Bobby.
"Well, I card-counted a little in the beginning, but other than that, no." said Leia, smiling wide.
"How the hell?" asked Bobby.
"Just lucky." said Sam.
Dean then chose that moment to walk in with a burger. Sam realized what time it was, and he made his way to the door.
"Hey, I'll see you guys later." he said as he grabbed his jacket.
"Where you going?" asked Dean.
"Umm...nowhere." said Sam.
All three of them looked at him suspiciously.
"A booster shot. Don't say it." he said.
Sam left and then Dean sat his burger down on the table in the room. Bobby groaned.
"Well, I guess we can start getting the van loaded." he said.
Dean cleared his throat. "I shouldn't have called you an idiot."
"Which time?" asked Bobby.
"Dean!" said Leia in light shock.
"I'm sorry. I mean, I actually--I--I get it. Getting old ain't a bachelor party. And dealing with the crap you have to deal with..." said Dean.
"Don't you go on pity patrol." said Bobby.
"I'm not. I'm not." stressed Dean, "I'm just...I'm saying, you know, if I was in your shoes..."
"You'd never stop complaining." finished Bobby.
Dean paused for a moment, simply staring. "Fair enough. You're not useless, Bobby."
"Dean's right. You're not useless Bobby. You spend hours of every day researching and translating, and playing government officials every so often. You do so much for every hunter, and I don't think you give yourself enough credit." said Leia sincerely.
"Okay. Good talk." said Bobby. He began to roll himself away, but Dean stepped into his path.
"No, wait a minute. Listen to me." Dean sighed, and then continued, "You don't stop bein a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, you're family. I don't know if you've noticed, but me and Sam, we don't have much left. And Leia has nowhere else to go for a stable home." Leia nodded at Dean's statement, "I can't do this without you. I can't. So don't you dare think about checking out. I don't want to hear that again."
Dead silence.
"Okay." said Bobby after a few moments.
"Okay. Good." said Dean.
"Thanks. Now we done feeling our feelings? 'Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts." said Bobby.
"Yeah, we're done." said Dean.
"God, no wonder you people have constant meltdowns. With how emotionally constipated you all are, it's a wonder none of you have cracked yet." said Leia, throwing her hands in the air exasperatedly.
"Let's go, Ironsides, Princess." said Dean, picking up his bag.
"Oh, that one's sticking?" asked Bobby.
Leia scowled. "I might be named after one of the more badass princesses, but I don't appreciate the nickname."
"Well, sucks for you, Princess." said Dean, smirking and walking out the door.
"That's it. I'm calling you Duckie in broad daylight in the middle of a town as loudly as I possibly can."
When Sam got back from the doctor's office and everyone was getting ready to go, Leia suddenly asked, "Hey Sammy, Duckie, can I come with you guys? I want to do something and I need to stretch my muscles in an actual fight instead of just mock fighting."
"As long as Bobby doesn't need your help with anything." shrugged Dean.
"I shouldn't. She left all the groceries on the kitchen table and I can just put things away where I can get to them." said Bobby, "and I can handle the job on my own. I have been since before she came along."
"So, can I come?" she asked again, with the best puppy eyes she could muster up.
"Alright. Say your goodbyes to Bobby, because we probably won't see him for a while." said Dean.
Leia grabbed her duffel bag out of Bobby's van. She skipped over and gave Bobby a big hug. "Take care of yourself, okay? Don't do anything stupid." she said.
"I won't. Bye Leia." he said, getting into his van and driving away.
"Ready to hit the streets?" asked Sam.
"As I'll ever be." she said, throwing her duffel bag into the backseat.
"Let's go." said Dean. All three of them climbed into the car and began driving away.
A few days later found them sitting in a motel room in Wellington, Ohio. Dean and Leia were sitting on one bed, watching some sort of hospital show. It was interesting, but it really confused Leia. There were a few too many characters and story arcs to follow just in one episode for her to fully understand everything that was going on in the show. She just tried to focus on "Dr. Sexy's" arc and see what happens with that Dr. Piccolo lady because she seemed pretty cool.
"What are you two watching?" asked Sam as he walked out of the bathroom.
"Hospital show. It's called Dr. Sexy, MD." said Dean.
"I think I remember seeing a book series in a Wal-Mart once with the same name." said Leia. "Maybe the show's based on the books."
"When did you two hit menopause?" asked Sam.
"It's called channel surfing." said Dean.
"There's nothing else on that's even remotely entertaining." said Leia.
Dean then got up and cut off the TV, which signaled for Leia to get off the bed and grab her jacket. Sam grabbed his as well.
"You guys ready?" asked Dean.
"Yeah." answered Leia.
"Are you?" replied Sam.
"One more time. The FBI is here, why, exactly?" asked the officer suspiciously.
"Might have something to do with one of your locals getting his head ripped off." answered Dean.
"Bill Randolph died from a bear attack." said the officer.
"How sure are you that it was a bear?" asked Sam.
"Well, what else would it be?" asked the officer.
"Well, whatever it was, it chased Mr. Randolph through the woods, smashed through his front door, followed him up the stairs, and killed him in his bedroom. Is that common, a bear doing all that?" asked Dean.
"Depends on how pissed off it is, I guess. Look, the Randolphs live way up in high country. You got trout runs to make a grown man weep. And bears." said the officer.
"Right. Now what about Mrs. Randolph? The file says she saw the whole thing." asked Sam.
"Yes, she did. My heart goes out to that poor woman." said the officer sadly.
"She said bear." said Dean, more of a question than a statement.
"Kathy Randolph went through a hell of a trauma. She's confused." said the officer.
"What did she say?" asked Sam.
"It's better if you ask her. Their address is in the file." said the officer.
The boys began to leave, but Leia stuck around for a moment. She adjusted the black cravat of her navy blue pantsuit, and straightened out her blue shirt.
"Do you think we could get a file on Mr. Randolph? It might help the FBI's investigation if we had his criminal record." she smiled sweetly at him.
"U-uh, yeah, of course." said the officer, clearly flustered. He walked over to a filing cabinet and pulled out a file folder with Mr. Randolph's name on the label.
"Here you go." he said, handing it over.
"Thank you so much!" she said, flashing him another bright smile.
She then caught up with Sam and Dean, both looking equally impressed.
"You got that so easily. How?" asked Dean.
"It's all part of the feminine charm. You learn it in Girl 101." she shrugged. "Now can we get back to the car? These heels are killing my feet."
The boys and girl found themselves sitting on a couch with Mrs. Randolph across from them in an armchair.
"No, it must have been a bear. I mean, what else could it have been?" she said, sounding as if she was trying to convince herself and the trio.
"Mrs. Randolph, what do you think it was?" asked Sam gently.
"No, I, I remember clearly now. It was definitely a bear." she said.
"We're sure it was. But see, it helps us to hear every angle. So just tell us what you thought you saw." said Dean.
"It's impossible but..." she started,
"It's alright. Go on." said Leia softly.
"I could have sworn I saw... The Incredible Hulk." she said.
"The Incredible Hulk?" asked Leia.
"I told you it was crazy." said Mrs. Randolph.
"I've heard crazier. It's fine." said Leia reassuringly.
"Bana or Norton?" asked Dean.
"Oh no, those movies were terrible. The TV Hulk." said Mrs. Randolph.
"Lou Ferrigno." replied Dean.
"Yes." she said.
"Spiky-haired Lou Ferrigno."
"Yes."
"Huh." Sam and Dean looked at each other, while Leia looked at Mrs. Randolph.
"You think I'm crazy." sighed Mrs. Randolph.
"No, but... is there any reason why Lou Ferrigno, The Incredible Hulk, would have a grudge against your husband?" asked Leia.
"No." replied Mrs. Randolph.
When they got back to the motel, Dean began looking over the articles covering Mr. Randolph's death, while Leia flipped through the files they had gotten and Sam went to the crime scene. After a good while, Sam walked in the door.
"Hey." said Sam, closing the door behind him.
"Find anything?" asked Leia.
"Well, uh, I saw the house." said Sam.
"And?" Dean asked.
"And there is an eight-foot hole where the front door used to be. Almost like, uh..." said Sam.
"A Hulk-sized hole." finished Dean.
"Maybe. What do you two have?" asked Sam.
"Well, my dear Sammy, it seems that Bill Randolph had quite the temper. He's got two accounts of spousal battery, bar brawls, and court-ordered anger management sessions. You might say you wouldn't like him when he's angry." said Leia, looking up from the files.
"So a hothead getting killed by TV's greatest hothead. Kinda sounds like just desserts, doesn't it?" said Sam.
Dean snorted, and then Sam spoke again. "It's all starting to make sense." he said.
"How is it starting to make sense?" asked Leia.
"Well, I found something at the crime scene." said Sam. He pulled a bunch of wrappers from his pocket. "Candy wrappers." he said, dropping them. "Lots of them."
Dean seemed to catch on, while Leia was still confused. "Just desserts, sweet tooth, screwing with people before you kill 'em--we're dealing with the Trickster, now aren't we?" said Dean.
"Sure looks like it." said Sam.
"Good. I've wanted to gank that mother since the Mystery Spot." said Dean.
"You sure?" asked Sam.
"Yeah I'm sure." said Dean.
"No, I mean are you sure you wanna kill him?"
"Son of a bitch didn't think twice about icing me a thousand times."
"Wait, what?" asked Leia.
"We'll explain later." said Sam, turning to Leia. He turned back to Dean and said, "No, I know, I mean, I'm just saying--"
"What are you saying? If you don't want to kill him, then what?" asked Dean.
"Talk to him?" asked Sam carefully.
"What?" asked Dean in disbelief.
"Think about it, Dean. He's one of the most powerful creatures we've ever met. Maybe we can use him." said Sam convincingly.
"For what, exactly?" asked Leia.
"Okay, Trickster's like a Hugh Hefner type, right? Wine, women, song--maybe he doesn't want the party to end. Maybe he hates this angel and demon stuff as much as we do. Maybe he'll help us." said Sam.
"You're serious." said Dean.
"Yeah." said Sam.
"Ally with the Trickster."
"Yeah."
"A bloody, violent monster, and you wanna be Facebook friends with him? Nice, Sammy." said Dean in disbelief.
"The world is going to end, Dean. We don't have the luxury of a moral stand. Look, I'm just saying it's worth a shot. That's all. If it doesn't work, we kill him." said Sam.
"Sam, that's a bad idea. You shouldn't use someone for your personal gain, no matter who they are. It'll come around to bite you in the ass later." said Leia.
"We don't have any other way, Leia. If you come up with something, let us know, but for right now, this is the plan." said Sam.
Dean sighed. "How are we gonna find the guy, anyways?" he asked.
"Well, he never takes just one victim, right? He'll show."
About thirty minutes later, Leia was watching some Japanese game show, Dean was sharpening a stake, and Sam kept staring at the police scanner that they had set up.
"I have a question, Dean. Do you guys just carry stakes of wood everywhere? And since there are so many different types, you've gotta have at least a couple of bags dedicated to just stakes." Leia asked, not looking away from the show.
"Nah, we just carry the important ones around. If we need one that we don't have, we make our own." he said.
"Oh, okay."
All of a sudden, the police scanner crackled to life.
"Um, Dispatch? I, I got a possible 187 out here at the old paper mill on route 6?" said the scanner.
"Hey." said Sam, nudging Dean. They both focused their full attention on the scanner.
"Roger that. What are you looking at there, son?" said the dispatch officer.
"Honestly, Walt, I, I wouldn't even know how to describe what I'm seeing. Just--send everybody." said the scanner.
"All right, stay calm, stay by your car. Help's on the way." said the dispatch officer.
Sam reached over and cut off the scanner.
"That sounds weird." said Dean.
"Weird enough to be our guy." said Sam.
They got out the door before Leia could, but she muttered, "This sounds like a trap. 'Old Paper Mill'? Have you people never seen a scary movie? That statement right there is a cliche that's used all the time. Learn it if you're gonna hunt monsters."
She got to the car and opened the door. She hopped in the backseat and began lacing up her boots, preparing for the fight that was going to happen.