[ Jeno, remember the flower you gave me? You said it's called white angel. That poor thing was still kept in between the pages of my notebook but sadly, it's not as white as it is before. ]
After putting a period on the last sentence of her letter, Kallea realized she's been writing to Jeno for 7 years already.
Being a home-schooled student, she's thankful she has the enthusiasm and the passion to write letters. It was like a hobby, like how other girls loves to color their nails.
But she wouldn't realize she's fond about it until she wrote one for Jeno. He practically saved her from boredom.
It's never easy for Kallea to spend years locked on her shielded room. She's one of those children who have defects in their immune cells and as a result have problems fighting infections. Severe Combined Immunodeficiency which was popularly known as SCID is a very rare group of inherited disorders characterized by absent T- and B- cell function. It simply means that their immune system is not working correctly so they get infections easily.
Her disease is not contagious but it is fatal especially in her early years. She has undergone screening and blood tests that's why it was monitored early during her infancy.
Since the day her parents found out about her fragile health condition, they find a way to give her a lifesaving treatment. It was through Hematopoietic stem cell transplantation whereas she received stem cells from a donor. Ideally, the stem cell should come from a sibling who is a close tissue match but she doesn't have one, so they get her an unrelated donor.
Transplants from matched siblings brings a higher chance to restore immune function and it was indeed lifesaving but oftentimes, it only partially restore immunity.
Nevertheless, Kallea gets cured and lived the next four years of her life normally like any other kid does. She could play with dirt in the backyard, eat ice cream, swim in the pool, spend the whole day in the playground... but those days didn't last long and covered her whole childhood because when she entered preschool as a five year old toddler, everything has changed.
Her parents thought she got fully recovered with the disease when she was an infant but all the symptoms came back one day, itchy and red skin, hair loss, extremely high fever, diarrhea. It doesn't seem normal at all so her parents had decided to admit her in the hospital once again.
Then they found out that it wasn't just a SCID all along, because it's a Leaky SCID since the beginning. It has the symptoms similar to typical SCID but the difference is that some T cells leak through and make Kallea's cell count seem normal. However, the T cell production doesn't help to fight infections. They become over-activated and cause the body to attack itself instead.
Kallea was only five when she learned about her real disease. Her parents told her that she was a SCID patient survivor before, but it still confused her whenever they would wordlessly rush her to the hospital, whenever they would scream at each other when they thought she's asleep, and why her mom were always in tears.
She asked them why that time and they told her the situation that she's still severely sick and needs meticulous protection. Her body reacts with viruses, bacteria and other invaders sensitively that even having a simple flu can put her life at risk.
As a kid, she already knew she'll hear something bad about her health but what she wanted to know was why her parents are fighting.
Isolating oneself with other people is not necessarily a must for a SCID patient, but Kallea's mom chose that way to keep her protected. She decided for good to let Kallea stay and live the rest of her life inside of that shielded room that even her—the parent—were not allowed to be with her own daughter.
The disease affected every aspect of her life and being. Her mom dropped her out of school and let her continue studying at home, in a virtual set of classroom with her virtual guidance as well. That is the reason why Jeno didn't see her again. She's been learning online since grade school until junior.
Aside from Jeno, Kallea never had any other friend. The ones she have right now was the people she met online.
So basically, her world revolves virtually, and it hurts to believe that the only person who cares about her existence in this planet was her mom. Well if her personal doctor counts, then Dr. Lan would be added to the list. Her dad? He eventually quitted. He chose to live another life where Kallea and her mom wasn't a part anymore.
The only advantage her disease holds is that it taught her to be independent. Imagine living the rest of your life after preschool alone, without the physical guidance of your parent, without you joining your mom in the same table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That's how hard life is for Kallea.
However, having a laptop and internet connection still lets her know what's happening outside her so-called cage. On one side, she felt likely equal with the people who are free to go anywhere they wanted because she can also see different places using google and social media.
She's also updated with the latest trends in her generation and so with the most recent gadgets and whatsoever people on her age are into, but the thing is, she can only see those things but never get the chance to experience and flaunt it like everybody does.
They can afford. Her mom has a decent job and can sustain her needs. In fact, she can be spendthrift if she wants to, but she's not into fancy things. Aside from thinking what's the sense of having them when nobody can ever notice, she believes all of it were only for the sake of being materialistic.
As simple as it may sound, she's okay with her pen and paper.
Meanwhile, when it comes to the things Kallea is afraid of in this world, the one which bothers her the most is to look so ignorant if ever she gets outside again. It's been so long since she stepped a foot into a real ground. She's nervous about the things that's awaiting outside of her comfort zone.
So if the time comes she'll get healed by her cursed disease, get her normal life back and waved happily to the world, she'll think of ways not to act like a caveman who gets to witness the first civilization. But just by thinking about it, she's certain she'd definitely act like one when she gets to taste freedom again.
Beyond everything, Kallea was still keeping the hope in her heart that someday she'll get better, someday she'll get cured, someday she'll get normal.
Today is Saturday, that means Jeno has no classes and was probably still asleep by now. Kallea knows his everyday schedule. She cares for him so much that she noted Jeno's time of waking up and time of sleeping.
She knows he's woken up whenever the royal blue curtains on his room were shoved to the side already with his windows open. She knows he's asleep whenever the lights outside their house was shut closed already, it's because he was always the last one to go to bed.
Right after Kallea puts back the pen cap, she heard the familiar ringing on her laptop. Her mom is video-calling her.
She quickly clicked the green button and after a while she saw her mother smiling in the camera. She's on her outdoor clothes, meaning, she's going to buy stuffs and food stocks for their home.
"Sweetheart, I'll go to the department store after I finished doing grocery, do you need something else for me to buy?" She asked her, busy putting an earrings.
"Chocolates... I want chocolates mom." She casually said, testing if she would let her have it. But her mother's changing expression tells her itself that chocolates are prohibited.
"Silly, they're not selling chocolates in the department store and please Kallea, no junks and sugars. I listed different kinds of fruits and veggies to buy which I could make as juice. I had my research last night about what's good to strengthen immunity." She told her convincingly, earning a huff from her.
"Mom, I'm certain you had searched the whole scalp of google just to find remedy on my disease. What you're looking for is in your hands already." She shakes her head and clicks her tongue.
"Every information in google changes Kallea. Duh, that's why the word 'update' was invented my daughter." She felt defeated with her mom's determination.
Trying to think of an excuse to have her precious chocolate, Kallea began to offer a trivia she knew that's probably out of her mom's knowledge. "Just so you know, chocolate is good for the immune system mom. Yes, it contains cocoa but actually, it was low in fat and sugar that can increase the good cholesterol in my body. See, it's helpful, so bu—"
"If you had plenty you'll have sore throat, it could develop a cough, if it gotten worst, it'll affect your lungs, there comes the difficulty in breathing, and I don't want to say what's next..." Her mom retorted, gesturing exaggeratedly to her throat down to her chest.
"Who says I'll have plenty?" She rolls her eyes. "I'm fine with one bar." She smiles and holds up one finger.
She saw how her mom takes a moment to think before she sighs in defeat. "Okay, just one bar."
"One bar." She reassured, earning an eye roll from her mom.
"By the way, do you still have stocks of pen, papers and envelopes?"
"Oh gee, good thing you reminded me my sweet mother. I need a new rim of white paper and a new pack of envelopes. I still have one box of unopened pens in my drawer."
"What about your face masks? Tissues? Toiletries? Latex gloves? " Her mom suggested, mentioning each and every single thing that completes her daily needs.
"Tissues I guess, and hand sanitizer. That's all mom, thank you."
"Okay, I got you with that. I'll go buy your vitamins and supplements as well." Her mom replied.
This is how Kallea considers herself lucky, with her loving mother on her side, giving her the best in everything, she couldn't wish for more.
"Got to go now, I love you." Her mom sends her a flying kiss, and she replied, "I love you.", also blowing her a kiss before closing her laptop.
She then moves out of her bed, look out at her window, and waited for her mom to get inside her car.
"Take care mom, don't forget the chocolates. I love you!" She yells and waves while gripping on the window bars.
She heard her mom's victory laugh. Shaking her head, she replied, "No sweets!"
It makes her pout, but she knows too well her mom is only joking.
When the car begins to move and was out of sight already, Kallea's eyes involuntarily went to Jeno's windows and there, she found him watching her intently, head tilting, seeming so amused.
And just like what she did yesterday, Kallea gasps in surprise and bend down to hide under her window pane again.