"You don't have to say anything," Jug gently knelt down next to Betty as she sat in her chair, "I do. I'm sorry." He said earnestly, looking into her eyes
Betty looked down at him, and seeing that little glimmer in his eyes made her feel like weeping. She just broke his heart, she tore it into a million pieces and stomped all over what they had. She felt disgusted with herself, kissing Archie, what was she thinking? This man is the love of her life, why was she conflicted?
"Jug," she choked out, "it's okay."
He shook his head, "No it's not. I shouldn't have been as ticked off as I was that you had faith in me."
She shook her head and forced a smile, knowing deep down he should be hating her right now. Their eyes turned to each other's lips and they leaned in. It was a tender kiss, that she wanted to sink into, but it was wrong. Everything was wrong. But she kept the tears locked away, and tried to not let him see what was going on.
She sucked in a sharp breath and looked into his eyes again. "You okay?" He asked.
It stung her, she wasn't okay, they weren't okay. She froze and her face fell.
"Betty?"
Her eyes started welling with fear and disgust for herself. This was not happening.
He raised his brow, asking again.
She looked away, briefly glaring at the picture of her and Archie as kids and then found the one of her and Jughead recently. She had to tell him.
"I-I need to say that I'm sorry..."
He effortlessly turned her chair to face him and grabbed her shoulders lightly, "What happened, Betts?"
"I'm... disgusted with myself," she breathed, "I don't know what even happened. It's all my fault." Her breathing picked up and she finally met his eyes which were full of concern, "I hate myself, Jug."
His eyes followed hers around as they jumped from object to object around her room, as if searching for something. He caressed her cheek and lifted her chin, "What's going on in there?" He nodded to her head and she slowly inched away from him.
Her hand grabbed his wrist and pushed it away from her, "You don't wanna touch me." A tear dropped down her cheek.
He licked his lips, and looked her up and down. Her whole body was tense; fingers curling in, knees pressed together, shoulders raised. He grabbed her hands and pushed them flat against her thighs to stop her, but she flung his hands away and stood, rushing into her bathroom.
"Betty, you can talk to me." He followed her and put his hand against the locked door. "Just talk to me." Jug pressed his ear on the door, trying to hear her if she said anything.
Inside she was pacing in circles in the dark, thinking. Only the moonlight illuminating the room. Every possible outcome of this ran through her mind. None were good. She didn't want to be with Archie. She didn't see a future with him. She wants nothing to do with this town and he never wants to leave it. They were so different, so incongruous, so irreconcilable. The idea of actually being with him felt grotesque to her. Yet she kissed him. Why did she do that? Why was she so conflicted? There's no way Jughead could forgive that. She'd be alone. Jughead won't want her and she doesn't want Archie. She won't get to love the only man she's ever loved. Her heart stopped and she faced herself in the mirror. She just hurt the only man she's ever loved. Truly loved. How is that love? That can't be love.
She started getting shaky as she starred at a monster in the mirror and she felt her knees begin to buckle, so she lowered herself to the ground, and started weeping. She fell back into the corner by the bathtub and leaned against the wall, hiding her head in her knees.
"Betty?"
His voice broke her heart because she knew she just broke his. She choked out a sob and that's when Jug had enough.
He looked around her desk, then stumbled to her vanity and dug in a drawer until he found a little organized holder of bobby pins and took one. He walked back to the bathroom door and picked the lock, just like she taught him.
He pushed the door open and the light from their bedroom found her in a ball on the floor, mascara smeared and nose running. He rushed to her side and sat in front of her, holding her cheek and wiping away a tear. Betty shook her head and pulled away.
"Tell me what's going on. Please..." she was silent, just a shivering mess. "We've been through so much, I'm sure we'll be okay, you know that."
Her eyes finally froze, looking into his.
"We'll be okay... right?"
She couldn't answer him. She didn't know. She didn't think they'd be anywhere near okay.
His breath got hitched in his throat and he knew it was more serious than what he imagined. "I don't wanna play a guessing game with you. Just, please, help me understand what's going on."
She didn't want him to understand her pain. Who was she kidding, his would be worse. This was his worst fear, and she fell into it.
Betty couldn't stand herself and she covered her mouth with her elbow, sobbing into it.
All Jug wanted to do was carry her off this cold tile floor and cuddle beside her under their warm covers, forgetting about all this. But he could already feel his mind beginning to scatter.
"Okay... I guess we are playing the game." He sighed and tried to met her eyes again, but they were scrunched shut.
"Is it something you did?"
She nodded slowly, not moving the rest of her body.
"Is it about school?"
She nodded, no.
He exhaled sharply, "Did you hurt someone?" A question he didn't even want to think about.
She froze and only her eyes raked up his body slowly, eyelids fluttering as hot tears burned them.
"You hurt me?"
Betty nodded, looking away again.
"Does it involve anyone else?"
She nodded yet again.
His mind went to the darkest place and he tried to fish it out, but nothing else made sense.
"Archie?"
Her breathing stopped. Her cry came to a halt.
He felt the tears in his eyes as well, "Something happened with Archie." It wasn't a question this time. He knew their love was too good to be true. But some reason he needed to hear her say it.
They were quiet awhile, just Betty's silent, muffled cries escaping them.
She gathered her wits to speak, more like stutter and stumble through a foggy explanation that even she couldn't comprehend, but she didn't dare look at him. "We were rehearsing, and one second, just... singing? Then the next, I don't know, I-I I guess I moved the microphone and he... I- it just kind of happened. I don't even remember how long we kissed, everything felt hazy and when I finally realized what was happening, I- your face clouded my vision and I ran out the garage and came home because.. I got scared."
She so desperately yearned for his touch, his warmth and comfort, his I love you, but that'd never return.
"I'm not blaming Archie. We both did it.... But I'm so so so sorry."
He looked at her, more like into her, trying to fathom that this wasn't just a nightmare.
"I don't expect you to forgive me."
He licked his lips and looked at the ground, "If I did this, would you forgive me?" He croaked.
"You would never do this to me, Jug." Her shoulders shook as sobs waved through her again.
"Pretend I did," He raised his voice slightly, just wanting her to answer the damn question.
She jumped at his anger,"O-okay... I'd be upset and need time, but I don't think I can ever stop loving you." She stuttered and wiped her eyes.
He didn't say anything for what felt like hours to Betty, his eyes honed in on the fabric of his jeans as he thought.
"Say something... anything, please." She pleaded.
"I think I feel the same." He mumbled and started pushing himself off the ground. "Um, I'm gonna sleep on the couch tonight." He gave a flat, exhausted smile and started walking into their bedroom.
"Jug?" She called and he turned around, "I'm sorry." Her face distorted with sorrow looked to his.
"I know... I know you are."