The morning after Christmas, I woke up with your arm flung across my torso and your leg draped over one of mine. You were breathing deeply, evenly, peacefully. I laid there and watched you as your eyelids fluttered, your long eyelashes resting on your cheeks. Your thick, dark hair lay on the pillow, splayed out around your head. It was almost long enough for a ponytail. I wondered if you ever wore it that way. I loved the stubble on your jaw. I had always thought that stubble made men look tired and lazy, but on you, it made you look strong.
And sexy.
I was amazed to find all new emotions and desires surfacing from deep within. I had never, ever been kissed the way you kissed me. When we kissed, I felt things all over my body – my heart raced and I felt calm wash over me. And when you kissed me more deeply, I felt a quivering in my lower abdomen, an awakening of my womanhood. I remembered the words we had read from the Song of Songs the day before - “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” I had a keen sense that my love had been aroused, awakened by you.
As I watched you sleep, I dragged my fingers lightly along your jawline, feeling the prickly stubble. You let a smile creep slowly across your face and I knew you were awake.
“Good morning,” I whispered.
“Good morning, love,” you said, opening your eyes.
I leaned over you to kiss you and you captured me around the waist, drawing me closer to you so that I was lying almost completely on top of you. You intensified the kiss and I felt that familiar quivering in my body. You slid your hands up underneath my, well your, henley shirt that I was wearing and you began to run them over the tank top that I was wearing underneath.
I responded with a small hum of satisfaction, appreciating the feeling of your hands touching me so intimately.
You slipped your tongue gently into my mouth and I was pushed to new heights of elation. I rubbed my hands over your bare shoulders, squeezing and massaging over your ink. I had never really asked about your tattoos – why you got them, when you had the time to have them done, what they meant. Then I skimmed my hands up into your hair, feeling it's silky texture, lightly scratching your scalp, all the while letting you kiss me passionately.
You moved your hands up under my arms and tugged me up higher. That's when you broke the kiss and moved your mouth across my cheek, planting kisses along the way. You trailed kisses under my ear, down my neck and to my collarbone.
The feeling was so intensely pleasurable that I couldn't help but moan your name quietly.
You responded with a small groan amidst your kisses. It was only when you moved your hand to one of my breasts that I stopped you.
“No, Zayn. Not yet.”
You immediately withdrew your hand and looked in my eyes. And you simply said, “Okay.”
“Thank you. I...I'm just not really ready,” I explained.
“That's okay, love. We don't have to rush anything.”
“Well, actually,” I said, “I want to wait until I'm married to have sex.” But I blushed as I said the next few words. “I never thought I'd want to so badly, though.”
You chuckled.
Then I figured, since we were on the topic, I would ask the next logical question. “Are you a...I mean, have you ever...uh...?”
“I'm a virgin,” you said much more bluntly than I was able to. “Guess I never had the time to change that...or the right person,” you added, smiling at me. You kissed me one more time and then you suggested we get up and make breakfast.
We ate some of the leftover apple spice cake for breakfast with some milk to drink.
“Do you want to go fishing again soon?” You asked.
I didn't think I could work up the courage to go again after you nearly drowned. I just shook my head.
“Not ready yet?” You asked. “That's okay. We still have food here.”
“That sounds good,” I laughed.
We ate breakfast and then we talked a bit more about our plans for when we went home.
“If the plane comes back in May, then I can probably work at the pool for the summer. Lifeguarding is good money.” Then a thought occurred to me. “Where did the plane land?”
“In the river,” you replied. “A seaplane. It was tricky to get close enough to the shore.”
“So, when you moved all this stuff into the cabin, you had to carry it all the way from the river?” I asked, incredulous.
“Yeah, my friend Ferg and some of his buddies helped me. I paid them pretty well," you said with a wink.
“Wow! That must have been a lot of work!” I observed.
You pretended to flex your muscles and then you asked, “Did you see the toboggan in the outer closet?”
I actually remembered seeing a very long wooden toboggan strapped to the wall. “Yeah.”
“Well, that helped us out a lot. I dragged a lot of things on that thing – blankets, clothes, toiletries, food, tools, as well as most of the furniture.”
I loved getting to know you, hearing about your creative solutions to life's little problems.
“Zayn?” I asked quietly.
“Yes, love.”
“When did you decide you were going to take me?”
You looked down, your face full of remorse. “I'm so sorry, River. I really am.”
I moved close to you and placed my hands on your cheeks, gently forcing you to look at me. “I already forgave you, remember? And besides, it worked, right?”
You sighed deeply and you just nodded in agreement.
“You didn't answer my question.”
“What? When did I decide to take you? Against your will?” You asked, chewing your lip.
“Yes, rather than invite me out on a date like a normal guy,” I teased.
You actually smiled a little bit and then you confessed. “It was only a few days before I took you. I heard you planning your trip to Frost Fire. And to be honest, I wasn't sure what or how I was going to get you to come with me. I was going to try to convince you, not kidnap you.”
“But you did put drugs into my water, didn't you?”
“Yes,” you said, swallowing hard. “It was a sleeping pill. But it also makes you a bit more responsive to...um, suggestions. I thought it might help the cause,” you said sheepishly.
“Meaning...?”
“Meaning that I thought I could help you to be more easily persuaded. But it worked better than I wanted it to.”
I just kept staring at you, waiting for the entire story.
“It didn't make you sleep, but you just followed me onto the plane at the airport in Winnipeg. You were technically awake, but you don't remember anything, do you?”
“No,” I whispered, feeling a little creeped out.
“I bought you a ticket at the counter in Winnipeg, no questions asked. We flew to Churchill and I had a charter waiting because I was planning to come up here anyway. You were out by the time we got to Churchill, but I told Ferg that you took something for anxiety and it knocked you out.”
"Did I do or say anything weird on the flight from Winnipeg to Chuchill?"
"Well, you flirted with everyone," you said, straight-faced. "And then you stood up in your seat and started dancing."
"What?!" I gasped in horror.
Then you started laughing like crazy and I realized you were joking.
“Zayn!” I shouted and then laughed along with you. But I started to really think about that trip from my abandoned car to the cabin. For the first time since the night I arrived, I felt helpless, just to know that you had so easily brought me to this remote place, completely against my will. I loved you, but I still felt...unsettled.
I wandered away from the conversation and sat mindlessly on the couch. I sat and stared into the dancing fire, wondering if I should be more upset with you. Should I have forgiven you so easily?
“All right, love?” You asked, sitting next to me.
“Uh, huh,” I hummed.
“Did it bother you to hear all that?” You wondered.
“I asked.” I just closed my eyes and leaned into your chest, letting myself be comforted by your steady heartbeat.
We sat like that for a long time, and then I finally sat up and looked at you. “I still love you, Zayn, and I said I forgave you. It was just a little strange to hear what happened.”
“I promise you, River, I will never, ever hurt you again.”
“I know, Zayn, I know.” You kissed me again and all of my anxiety fled. All it took was the touch of your skin to calm me down.
I snuggled back into your side and relaxed even more, feeling your warmth. But then I heard something amidst the usual silence of the extreme north woods.
I sat up and tried to listen more closely. “Zayn, do you hear that?”
“What, love?”
“I hear something. Listen.” We both sat silently as the sound grew louder. It was a loud, rhythmic, thumping sound and as it drew closer, I suddenly recognized the sound.
“Zayn!” I yelled. “It's a helicopter!”