Sameera stares at her reflection in the mirror when she's done with all of her makeup.
She hopes she doesn't look as terrible as she feels.
Niall appears behind her, smiling at her through the mirror, zipping up the back of her dress which she'd left undone. "Ready?" he asks, hands on her waist. She nods at him, trying to muster up the energy to send him a smile of her own. His eyes soften at her and she nearly wants to groan; it's like he can always see right through her. "You sure you're okay?"
During their workout today, she could barely get through the pushups, an excruciating pain ripped through her right side that sent her tumbling face first to the ground. Niall had thought she was being dramatic again, as she tends to be when they work out together, but as soon as she curled her knees upwards, gasping to catch her breath, he was onto her, hands quickly grabbing her shoulders to turn her over.
"Petal, shit," he had breathed out, concern etched in his face. "Are you okay? What's happening?"
She had rolled over, bringing her knees up to her chest as she pressed her forehead to the ground, trying to catch her bearing as she clenched her eyes shut and fought the oncoming tears. It honestly just felt like a really bad wave of cramps, and she knew she was due for her period soon, so she just waved him off, telling him as much.
He was clearly still very concerned though, because he made her rest for the remainder of the day, even going as far as to bring up tea and biscuits for her later on.
Now, she just feels nauseous. There's still a dull pain on her right side but it's nothing too crazy. She nods at his reflection in the mirror, turning around to give him a more convincing smile. "I'm fine," she says after it's clear that he's still skeptical. "C'mon. We have a mission to finish."
With that, they're off. Hodges managed to ensure that their—fake—names would be on the banquet's guest list. When they arrive about half an hour later, they're able to get in with no problems. As soon as they enter the banquet hall, though, Sameera has to excuse herself to the ladies' room.
It takes her a while to find it, but when she does, she has to lean against the sink inside, heaving a bit to try and tamp down the urge to vomit. When she looks up at herself in the mirror, her eyes are rimmed with tears and her face is pale, despite the fact that she'd tried to conceal that with makeup. She takes a deep breath, pulling herself together. Tonight is important. She's not going to let a bit of PMS stop her.
When she returns to the hall, she can't find Niall. She walks around for a few moments, grabbing a glass of champagne from one of the servers and taking a sip, hoping the bubbles will help calm her stomach down. She spots him at the bar. He's chatting with some guy with blond hair, and when he sees her, he smiles, gesturing her over.
"This is my wife, Samantha," he says when she gets to him, his hand resting on her lower back. Sameera smiles at the man, looking over at Niall for some clarification on his identity. "This is Gerard McDonnell. He's the organizer for tonight's event."
The man, Gerard, beams at her, extending his hand for her to shake, which she does. "Yes, yes, very nice to meet you. A beautiful wife you have, mate." Niall smiles at him. Sameera is still unclear as to why they're talking to this man. "I was just telling your husband that this event wouldn't have been possible without our most generous donor, Mr. O'Connor." At that, Sameera perks up. She's unsure as to why O'Connor wouldn't use a pseudonym to organize a charity banquet, nor is she sure of his motive. Perhaps he's too confident in his criminal connections to even humor the idea that he may get caught.
"Would you excuse us, Gerard," Niall tells the man before leading Sameera away from the bar and to a table on the other side of the room. "Have you spotted O'Connor yet?" Niall's voice is low as they take a seat.
"No," she tells him, swallowing down another wave of nausea. "Didn't you find that suspicious?"
Niall looks at her. "Yeah, that's why I'm asking." He sighs, sitting back into his chair. "O'Connor is probably not even his real name then."
"But," she takes a sip of water, hoping that would help, "Karla and Louis referred to him as O'Connor as well."
Niall keeps jiggling his knee and his nerves are making her anxious. "What if they're just pawns too?"
He has a point. It's a plausible assumption, especially given Louis' desperate tone on the audio recording they got of them from the beach. She's not able to say anything about it though, because Niall's watch is beeping suddenly, which is very strange.
"What the...?" He pushes his chair back. "Stay here. Let me go see what Hodges wants."
With that, he's off. Sameera downs the rest of her water, leaning her elbows against the table to feel like she's still tethered to earth. She's starting to feel a bit dizzy, and she decides that it's probably best to step out for some air. The pain is coming back and she gets a bit annoyed because this is not the greatest timing to get sick.
As she heads towards the door, something in her peripheral catches her eye. She's startled by what she finds when she turns around.
O'Connor is standing at one of the cocktail tables next to the bar, nursing a pint. It's not alarming that he's there. It's alarming because he's looking right at her. Like he knows her. Like he was expecting her.
Something happens to her then. She barely makes it outside before the nausea, dizziness, and pain all hit her full force at the same time. Her hand presses against something solid and cold, and she thinks it might be a wall that she's caught to balance herself.
"Sameera!" It's Niall's voice but it sounds so far away. She wonders if he'll be able to reach her. She wonders where he is.
Her knees are buckling under her and she would have fallen to the ground if it weren't for someone's arms catching the weight of her. "Petal," a voice breathes, and she knows it's Niall. "Stay with me, love. Don't close your eyes."
She catches a glimpse of his face despite her eyelids fluttering open and shut. She tries to keep them open but she can't.
As Niall lifts her in his arms, she tries to tell him—tell him about O'Connor.
But then everything goes dark.
~
Sameera's head feels heavy.
Actually, her tongue feels heavy, and her limbs feel heavy. She's about half convinced someone's tried to pump lead into her bones and now she won't ever be able to move again, until she feels someone fingers interlacing with hers. It takes so much energy to even close her fingers around theirs and squeeze back, but when she accomplishes that, she uses the rest of her strength to try and open her eyes.
Her vision is clouded. She tries to blink several times but her eyelids feel too heavy. Suddenly, bits and pieces start coming back to her: the party, spotting O'Connor in the crowd, the blinding pain, seeing Niall's face flash in and out before being surrounded by darkness.
"Niall," she tries to get out now, but her throat is too dry and no sound comes out. She tries to swallow a bit, mind now racing. What happened to her? Where is she? Is Niall okay? After getting enough moisture to her throat, she tries again. "Niall."
She's relieved when his voice cuts through the clouds in her head. "Hey, petal," he's saying, voice soft and soothing, and it calms the erratic beating of her heart. She knows she's safe now. Wherever she is, whatever happened, it doesn't matter in that second, because Niall is with her and she knows she's safe. His fingers are brushing away some strands of hair from her forehead, and they feel nice and warm against her cold skin. She suddenly realizes how absolutely frigid it is in here. "How're you feeling?"
She turns her head towards the sound of his voice, shoulders hunching up to her ears. There's an uncomfortable tugging on the right side of her abdomen. "Cold," she mumbles. Niall immediately pulls the blanket that she didn't even realize was on her up to her chin. At the sudden coldness of her hand, she realizes it was his hand she was trying to squeeze. It sounds like he's walking away and she panics for a moment. She still doesn't know what's happening and she doesn't want him to leave her. "Niall?" Her voice is leaving her again and her heart rate goes up because she feels so helpless.
"I'm here, I'm here." He's back and it feels like he drapes another blanket over her because she's suddenly warm and calmer. His hand finds hers under the blanket again and she squeezes tighter than she did before. She doesn't want him to let go again.
"Where am I?" she asks, slightly afraid for the answer. And in the moments that it takes Niall to answer, she finds herself holding her breath.
He sighs, and suddenly there's a roughness against her knuckles that feels a bit like hair and she realizes he's kissing her hand. "We're in the hospital, love." He sounds like he's speaking to a small child with his gentle voice, and Sameera gulps at his words. "Your appendix was inflamed. They had to do surgery to remove it."
Suddenly, realization hits her like a freight train and the uncomfortable tugging on her side turns into a pain that flares up every time she breathes. There are machines beeping all around her and the sounds are driving her crazy. She remembers watching O'Connor and him grinning slightly at her, but before she could find Niall, she collapsed. The mission failed. She ruined it.
"I ruined the mission." There's moisture running down her face and she realizes she's crying. Every time she tries to hold back the ugly sobs ripping through her throat she ends up hiccupping, which causes the pressure on her side to flare up into a sharp pain. "I ruined everything. We could have caught him but I ruined it."
"No no no," Niall tries, but it's too late. She can't stop crying now. A machine is going crazy somewhere near her and it makes her more emotional.
"I'm sorry," she gasps. Niall's fingers are desperately trying to wipe away her tears. "I'm so sorry."
"Petal, please don't cry." Niall sounds sad and it makes her cry even more. "Calm down, okay? It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. Don't worry about the mission right now, just please stop crying."
Suddenly there's a loud thump somewhere, rushed footsteps coming closer. "What is happening here? Is she awake?" It's a voice she doesn't recognize but clearly, it's someone with authority. Niall starts to say something but she can hear that he's far away from her now. Latex gloved hands are pressing into her skin and she doesn't know what's happening anymore.
She doesn't have time to figure it out, though. Because someone is yelling "Clear!" and she's being surrounded by darkness once more.
~
When Sameera wakes up again, she can actually open her eyes.
This time, Niall is not beside her. Instead, there's a nurse with a clipboard and she's jotting down what Sameera assumes are her vitals. "Hi!" the nurse greets when she realizes that Sameera is awake. "You're awake, good! How are you feeling?"
Sameera opens her mouth to speak but then she realizes that her throat is extremely dry. She swallows a few times to get some moisture to the area. "Is there any way I can sit up?" she asks the nurse. Her limbs feel extremely stiff, and all she really wants to do is shift them slightly.
"Sure!" The nurse adjusts her bed so that she's sitting upright, and Sameera smiles at her in thanks.
Niall walks into the room then. His arms are filled with all different kinds of flowers, and he looks like he's struggling to carry them all. He smiles widely at the sight of her sitting up in the bed. "Hey, you're awake!" Sameera tries to return his smile, but their conversation from the first time she woke up is coming back to her and she's starting to feel like crying again. "I wanted to get you some flowers, but I was standing in the shop when I realized I don't know what kind of flowers you like." He shrugs sheepishly, or at least as best as he can with all of the flowers in his hands. He moves around the room setting them up in different places, and with all the colors, the hospital room doesn't seem so depressing anymore. "So, I just got you a bunch of them. I hope that's okay?"
When he turns around to look at her, his eyes scan over her carefully. She averts her eyes because her lips are starting to wobble. She feels like such a failure.
"Petal," he's sighing out, bringing a chair close to her bed and reaching for her hand, holding it between both of his. "Look at me. None of this is your fault. You couldn't have possibly controlled this. Stop blaming yourself, okay?"
Sameera nods, but she can't help the tears that are already brimming along her waterline. Suddenly, the tears are falling down her cheeks and there's nothing she can do to stop them. She yanks her hand from Niall's and covers her face. She doesn't want him to be here right now. She doesn't want him to watch her cry.
"No, don't—" Niall sighs helplessly. He doesn't say anything for a moment, and when he does, she's not sure if he's speaking to her. "Is it okay if I just sit next to her?" When she hears the rail on the side of her bed being pulled down, she realizes he was speaking to the nurse. He climbs into the bed with her and Sameera slumps into his chest, hands still over her face. "Don't cry," he murmurs, pressing his lips to her forehead.
"I'm sorry," she hiccups, which makes her stitches hurt.
"Shhh." Niall hugs her tight, the warmth of his skin making her feel better almost instantly. "Tell me, petal. What could you have possibly done to prevent this?" She thinks about it for a moment but she can't come up with an answer, and her silence is all he needs. "Exactly. So stop blaming yourself. Stop worrying about the mission. Everything's gonna be fine, you just need to focus on getting better." Sameera moves her hands from her face so she can wrap her arms around Niall instead, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable given her situation. She tries not to stretch too hard. "Can you do that for me?" he asks, hand coming up under her chin to lift her face towards him.
She nods, feeling a little better at the sight of those blue eyes.
"Good," he says, smiling. His fingers come up to swipe some of the stray tears from her face. "Now let me see those dimples." She returns his smile bashfully and he grins. "There's my girl," he's murmuring, pressing a kiss to either side of her cheeks.
"Mr. Horan," someone's saying from the door, and when they look over, it's the nurse from before. "Visiting hours are over." She looks apologetic, which Sameera thinks is nice.
Niall nods at her and she leaves them alone again. Sameera thinks she might start crying once more. "Hey," Niall says firmly, sensing it. "Don't."
She frowns at him, and she's about to ask him why he can't stay when she realizes something. "Wait. How did that nurse know your real name?"
Niall presses his lips together. "Erm. This is the agency hospital." She groans, slumping back into her pillow, ignoring the way her side punishes her for it. "It's fine, love. Hodges isn't upset with you if that's what you're thinking."
She holds onto his hand as he shuffles off the bed, being careful not to disrupt any tubes or wires anywhere. "Can't you stay?" she whispers, watching him sadly. She doesn't want to stay here all alone.
He gives her a sympathetic look. "Trust me, I tried asking. They're very strict with their visiting hours here." She sighs and Niall leans over her again. "You'll be fine, I promise. You'll probably be all drugged up and sleep the whole night anyway." He has a point. She's already feeling quite tired. "I'll be back first thing tomorrow, alright?"
He presses his lips to her forehead. He's not even out the door yet before she falls asleep.
~
She's in a better mood the next morning.
Niall brings Harry with him to visit her and he has her laughing the entire morning. He updates her on dick piercing dude—"No, Sameera, I haven't broken up with him yet. His mommy boy ways are a turn off but the sex is just too good to give up."—as well as Louis and Karla—"They haven't left the house for a few days. It's quite concerning."
He even gets all mother hen on her when it's time for him to leave. "Make sure you take all your meds. Don't overdo the morphine drip. Listen to the damn doctor, please." She knows it's the nurse in him talking, but she rolls her eyes anyway. "Also," he adds lowly, looking around to make sure Niall isn't around, "use all the excuses in the book to get Niall to kiss you. Trust me, now is the best time."
She groans through a laugh. "Oh my god, shut up."
Harry cackles as he dodges all her attempts of whacking him with a pillow. "Get well soon, I love you, bye!"
With that, he's gone, and Niall, with his impeccable timing, walks in with two paper cups of tea. "It's not the best," he's saying when he gives her one, "but it's something." They spend the rest of the time talking. Niall tells her that it was strange sleeping in the house alone and Sameera teases him for having separation issues.
They don't get too far in conversation, though, because suddenly the person she's been dreading talking to shows up at her door.
"Hello, Ms. Wajid," Hodges greets, declining Niall's offer of a chair. "How are you feeling?"
She gulps nervously. "I'm fine, sir, thank you."
He hums, nodding. "You gave us quite the scare there." He smiles kindly at her, which is actually a first. "I hope you use your time off to recover to the best of your ability. You are truly one of our finest."
Panic pools in her belly. "Sir, time off?"
She looks over at Niall desperately, but even he looks confused. Hodges sighs. "Ms. Wajid, I'm afraid we have decided to postpone this mission. Your health is of utmost importance right now."
Sameera is too shocked to say anything. Niall tries to reason with him but she tunes out the rest of their conversation. It feels like a curtain of despair has fallen over her entire spirit. She's never experienced failure quite like this, and it hurts.
"Sameera," Niall's saying softly, and when she comes to again, Hodges is gone and Niall is holding her hand. "It's gonna be alright. I'm gonna fix this, I promise."
She shakes her head at him, staring at the wall ahead. "It's over, Ni. Just go home." Even her voice sounds hopeless, empty. It's strange how much life can change in a matter of moments. Just fifteen minutes ago she was laughing the morning away with Harry, and now she doesn't want to speak to anyone.
"Petal," Niall tries, his voice soft and a bit helpless.
She pulls her hand away from his, turning her face away from him. "Just go home."
It takes him a long moment to get up to leave. She can tell whenever he hesitates because he draws a breath as if getting ready to say something before changing his mind at the last second. Eventually, he goes, but not before reaching out to brush a bit of her hair behind her ear. "I'll fix this," he whispers, "I promise."
With that, he's gone, and for the first time in a long time, Sameera feels all alone.
~
The next morning, she's discharged, and Niall is the one that comes to pick her up.
She tunes out the doctor's instructions on how to take care of herself but Niall listens attentively. He's the one that reaches out when the doctor hands over the discharge instructions and prescriptions. Sameera mindlessly signs the discharge papers; she could be signing her life away for all she cares right now.
Niall gives her a bag of clothing he brought from the house when the doctor leaves the room. When she starts to unpack its contents, her hands close around the hoodie she'd stolen from him just the other day. He looks at her hopefully when she pulls it out of the bag, but when she offers no response, he frowns in disappointment.
He leaves her alone for a moment to change her clothes. She takes her time, mostly because the stitches make stretching too uncomfortable, but also because she really doesn't care. She wonders where Niall will take her. They can't be going back to the house since the mission is over, and the realization nearly makes her cry. She really loves that house.
Niall gives her a wide smile when he walks into the room again, but Sameera can't find it in herself to even attempt a fake one. "Ready?" he asks, helping her up with one hand and grabbing her bag with the next. She simply sighs, giving him a small nod just so he wouldn't start giving her those concerned eyes again.
She gets them anyway, as they're driving on the highway. He tries to be discreet with his constant glances at her but she notices anyway. She zones out for the rest of the ride, leans her head against the window and tries not to think about anything. The last thing she wants is to start crying in front of Niall again.
She doesn't even notice when they've arrived until Niall is opening the passenger door for her, telling her to wake up and undo her seatbelt. She takes the hand he offers as she gets out of the car, surprised to see that they've come back to the house.
Wordlessly, she follows Niall inside, trailing behind him slowly. When she closes the front door behind her, her lips start to wobble again, and she doesn't think she can hold back the tears for much longer. "Are we here to pack up our stuff?" she asks Niall, voice wavering.
Niall turns around to look at her, and when he catches sight of her wobbling frown, his eyes soften. "Oh, petal," he sighs, leaning on the arm of the couch. "C'mere." He holds his arms out for her and she readily steps into them, clenching her eyes shut as she tucks her face into the curve of his neck. "Don't start crying," he murmurs into her hair, arms wrapped around her like a warm blanket. "You look really bad when you cry."
Sameera coughs through a laugh, lightly smacking his chest. "Shut up. I hate you."
Niall laughs too. He's swaying with her slightly, and all she can think of is how safe it feels here, in his embrace. He's extremely delicate with her, which is a side of him she's never seen, and something about it has a warmth surging through her body. When she looks up, he's grinning at her, fingers smoothing back the strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face. "Guess what." His smile only grows bigger when she hums. "I spoke to Hodges, and he's agreed to let us continue with the mission."
Sameera's eyes widen as she gasps, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. "Really?" she whispers, as if this is a dream. She nearly wants to pinch herself.
"Mhm." He swipes away a few tears that managed to drip down her cheeks. "But, you have to take care of yourself and get better quickly." Sameera truly can't believe her ears. She just stares at Niall in disbelief, nearly waiting for him to start laughing and tell her it's all a joke. But he doesn't. Instead, his grin slowly falls the longer she's silent. "Aren't you excited?"
He actually sounds extremely disappointed, eyes searching hers for something, anything. "I just—" She takes a deep breath. "You're not—you're not joking around, right?"
Niall frowns. "I wouldn't do that."
She sniffles. "Hodges really said that?" It's only then that Niall laughs, nodding. She laughs too, throwing her arms over his shoulders for a hug, ignoring the protests from her stitches as they tug in discomfort. "Thank you, Ni," she tells him, voice soft and delicate, pulling back to give him a grateful smile.
His blue eyes glimmer in the light streaming in from their huge windows. She can't believe how far they've come from their first day together, because she wouldn't want anyone else to be her partner. Niall's smile is gentle and kind and it has a warmth blooming in the pit of her stomach that expands through her entire body. "Of course." His fingers come up to lightly trail across her cheeks. "I'd do anything for those dimples."
Sameera bites the corner of her lip because if she doesn't, her smile will probably be wide enough to rip her cheeks open. She can't even find words to string together to reply to that because the blush that spreads across her face is overwhelming.
Niall chuckles at the sight of it. "C'mon," he says, pushing himself off the arm of the couch and leading her up the stairs. "You need to rest."
Sameera nods at that.
They have a mission to finish.