Ryders P. O. V
I'm wide awake laying in bed because sleep is eluding me. Grateful that tomorrow is Saturday. Although I need to get some sleep because I have to be out of the house in about 5 hours before he wakes up. I feel all tense and I can't relax, no matter how hard I try. What Derek said still stuck in my head and the memories he brought up.
The room brightens up a bit, and I look over at my phone. Picking it up, I see I have a text message from Aria. That's a little unusual, so I looked at the time on my phone telling me it was 2 am. Why was she texting me? Opening the text, she asked me, 'Are you awake?'.
Me; Yeah, why what's up?
Aria; Well, this will sound strange.
Me;?
Aria; I need help.
Me; Are you okay? Did something happen?
Aria; Kind of I just... I don't know what I am doing anymore or why I am texting you.
Me; ????
Aria; I just need someone to talk to... someone that I don't have to worry about always tiptoeing around me and them putting my feelings above theirs.
I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I just don't know why she is coming to me about this and I don't know what to say. So I didn't text back anything.
Aria; Sorry I shouldn't have texted you. Just needed some advice because I need to put my feelings aside and put up an act for them so they can grieve. Sorry to have bothered you. Just don't know what to do anymore...
Feeling like a dick because she wasn't bothering me, she was just confusing me about why she wants my help. I'm not someone that people go to when they need advice about anything. Most people just try to avoid me with all the rumors that fly around me. I'm just not that guy that whenever someone needs help, I'm the first one they call. Maybe that's why that night they didn't come to me. I can't make that same mistake again.
Me; Don't be sorry. I just didn't know anybody who would text me for help ;)
Aria; Yeah, me either, but I can't go to Em about this.
Me; HEY! Don't offend me here.
Aria; Sorry!
Me; Stop saying sorry.
Aria; Okay, Sorry.
Me; there you go again. I'm not sure what kind of advice to give you.
Aria; That's okay... weird question, but are you busy today?
I know that I shouldn't say yes because I don't know how to help this girl, and I'm not someone that she should hang out with but I'm guessing that she needs to get away from something. Not sure why I feel a need to help her, but why not? She doesn't seem like she wants to talk to the closest people around her. So a stranger must seem to be perfect.
Me; Nope, no plans. Why?
Aria; REALLY don't know why, but do you want to hang out?
Me; Why so you can offend me more?
Aria; Lol no, I just need to get out of the house.
Me; Pick you up at 12?
I sat my phone down and crossed my arms behind my head. This past week I have seen Aria walk out of the Gym with several red spots and a few scraps. Alison has just been gunning for Aria. There isn't anything I can do to help her in that situation, but if I can be of any help here and now, then I will try. Deciding that sleep just isn't for me and I have some hours to kill, I jump in the shower.
The hot water hits my shoulders and started relaxing the muscles in them. I lean my hands against the wall, trying to let the water hit my back and erase the rest of the tension from my body. The only thing the water can't erase was the memories. Great, now I'm tense again. I keep playing that night in my head repeatedly. If I had gotten there any later she wouldn't have made it, neither would Derek. I need to stop this train of thought while I can. Damnit, Derek, I haven't thought about that night for a long time. Why?
Wanting to slam my fist into the wall but not being able to afford to make that much noise. I decided to just turn off the water and get out because it doesn't seem to be working for me. Why the hell now of all times? Does he decide that it's time to make me feel like shit again? I understand it's almost been a year but does he have to keep reminding me every chance he gets.
I get that it's my fault and if I had just done things differently, maybe nothing would have happened but things didn't happen differently. If I had just tried harder and gotten her to stay away from HIM.
I can't stop thinking about her and the fact that she's gone from our lives. I keep telling myself to stop thinking about her and about everything, but I can't. Derek knew what he was doing when he brought that night up, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it.
As if I still don't punish myself enough. 12 couldn't come any faster. Laying back down on my bed, I close my eyes and try to sort through my thoughts. I laid there for about 30 minutes before deciding to take out my phone and do a little research.
"Aria Nova (15) was behind the wheel of the car with her Father "David Nova (46)" in the passenger seat. They were stopped at a red light while waiting for it to turn green. When the light turned green she proceeded to go when a truck driver "Steve Douglas and recovering alcoholic (49)" Ran a red light crashing into the passenger's side instantly killing David on impact. Michael Davis was said to have taken medication (Adhd pills) to stay awake during his long drive and passed out from dehydration as well as exhaustion. Aria was rushed to the hospital unconscious and we aren't sure of her injuries at this time."
I must have fallen asleep because I hear a rustling in the kitchen and realize that he's awake. Quickly and as quietly as I can, I grab my stuff and head out my bedroom window. Glancing at my phone, I realize it's 11:42. Crap, better hurry, I'm going to be late, although that's part of my charm.
I pull up to her house and realize I'm on my bike. She's just going to need to get over it. She messaged me so late that I didn't have time to ask Erik for his car. As I'm walking up to her steps, the front door flies open, startling me. She comes out, racing past me and halting to a stop when she sees my bike. "You have got to be kidding me?" I laughed and handed her my spare helmet. "Take it or leave it princess" She smirks at my comment and straps the helmet on her head. "Also, make sure you hold on tight" I winked at her causing her to roll her eyes at me and climbing on. "Wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you," I let out a hearty laugh, and she slapped me.
Aria's P.O.V
I won't lie, it didn't thrill me when I messaged Ryder but it was just one of those moments where I didn't know who else to turn to. I was even less thrilled to see his bike parked outside my house. I felt like I might have a panic attack just thinking of climbing on his bike when he smiled at me and a calming feeling washed over me. Ryder doesn't seem that bad of a person, maybe a little annoying but not a bad guy. Just doesn't seem like someone you go to when you need a shoulder to cry on, but he seems trustworthy. That is something that you can count on. Not that I really know him all that well.
I'm not exactly sure where we are going when he goes down some back roads. "Are you taking me somewhere secluded so you murder me?" Trying to yell over the noise of his bike and not sure that he heard me. "Now if I were, do you really think I would tell you?" That caused me to laugh.
We pulled up to a small path as he parked while getting off his bike he stretched his arm out to me, helping me climb down. It was actually a sweet gesture, but I told myself not to look that much into it. Following him up a path, we reach a small creek with a little rock above that looks like you can sit on and dangle your feet in the water. That's exactly what Ryder did, and I followed right behind him. "Where did you find this place? It's beautiful."
"Well now, I can't tell you all of my secrets, can I?" Smirking, he turned towards me and his expression changed seriously. "What did you need to talk about?" I let out a half-laugh, half sigh. "I'm sorry I just feel kind of stupid coming to you when I don't really know you all that well" I know I sound stupid since he's sitting right next to me right here and now.
"kind of too late for that now, right?" How was I going to say this? What was I even planning on saying to him? "It's so hard when everyone I know is walking on eggshells around me and watching everything they say to me, waiting for me to break," Placing my hands in my face I continue. "I know they are hurting as well and they shouldn't have to hide how they are feeling," My nose burns, the way it always does before the tears start flowing. Sniffling, I try to hold them back.
"I get that when I lost my mom, everyone around me including the two idiots started treating me like I was fragile," Maybe this is the reason he was a good choice to talk to. He was someone that kind of understood where I was coming from. It wasn't his fault that his mom died, though. "I just wish that they would come to me, you know?" Not that I don't get why. Why would they want to come to the person who took someone precious from them?
"It's just how people are, even if you're that way, they won't want to put their burden on other people, and it's not a bad thing it's just how everyone works," The water feels good against my feet. For the first time, I feel like I am actually here in the moment, taking in every word he says. "I can't get that memory out of my head, I haven't told anyone else this but every time I close my eyes I see the lights of that truck coming towards us, it haunts every single one of my dreams and it just hurts so much and I don't know how to deal with the pain of losing him and the pain that I have caused everyone,"
He gets a confused look on his face as I say that last part. "How do I...." The words feel like they are burning a hole in my throat. He looks at me, waiting patiently. "How do I deal with the fact that it's all my fault, that it's hard sometimes to look my mom or my brother in the eye most of the time," He seems taken aback by my question and says nothing. "I'm sorry, that was a stupid question,"
"No, no, it's not it just took me by surprise just what do you mean by its all your fault, Aria?" He's completely turned his whole body towards me, not taking his eyes off of me. "I just mean, the accident if I hadn't been driving, or called my dad to come and pick me up he would still be here," The tears started pouring out, and this time I didn't hold them back. What shocked me and halted my tears was Ryder putting his arms around me and pulling me into a hug. This was totally and completely out of character for him. He seemed just as shocked but didn't let it phase him.
"Aria, never think that or keep telling yourself that, it was an accident, something that was completely out of your hands, and you couldn't have known, that guy shouldn't have been driving in his condition" When he said that the tears started flowing again, how can he say that? I drove that night and I should have still looked before going even if the light was green. "I'm serious Aria, I can tell that you don't believe me but it wasn't your fault," He was making small circles on my back and honestly it felt good. He's right, I don't believe him but it really was nice of him to try to, I appreciated it.
It was nice to see a different side of him, someone who was caring and thoughtful, almost like a giant teddy bear. The thought made me laugh and caused him to pull away from me. "What, what's so funny?" he was looking at me like I was kind of going insane and it caused me to laugh harder. My sides started to hurt but I had to control myself before he really thought I had gone insane. "The thought of you dressed up as a giant teddy bear and giving out hugs"
"What? Me, dressed up as a teddy bear? Have you lost your mind? So I'm nice to you once and now you think I've gone all soft?" He mumbled something at the end but didn't give me a chance to think about it before he shoved me into the creek. As nice as the coldness felt on my feet, it didn't feel that good on the rest of my body. I was shivering by the time I sat up. He would not get away with this. Grabbing onto his leg, I yanked him down into the water with me.
Swimming away from him before he can grab on to me, I really take in the water's view. This place is amazing, and I wonder how he found it. "So how did you find this place?" He was swimming towards me but stopped in place. He didn't seem like he wanted to answer. "Uh, a friend showed me this place a long time ago." Short answer straight to the point, but the way he hesitated told me there was something more to the story, and he wasn't willing to share that with me.
I wish I hadn't asked him. I wanted to see that smile on his face again. Not the cocky one he always puts on his face, but the genuine smile that he had. Right now you can just see how closed off his face is and the way his shoulders went stiff as soon as I asked. What happened to him or to this person that made him close up automatically? There were so many things about him I didn't know and probably never would. Yet I wanted to know everything about him.
Which is probably a mistake because he's not someone I really want to get attached to? He surprised me though by being a good listener and seeing this oddly satisfying caring side to him has changed the way I look at him a little. "What are you thinking about?" looking up at him shocked that I got lost in my own thoughts again. "Just that you know you seem tough but inside you are a big softy" He lets out a slight groan and charges at me, squealing I try to get away but he catches me and dunks me.
There's that smile again. He seems to have recovered, but I can now see that sadness that hides behind his eyes. He's going through things that he can't talk to anyone else about either. I want to say something, but if I do, will that smile go away again?
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I know this chapter isn't super long but I had fun writing it! I know it's been a long time since I posted something but if you have been reading my updates on my page you know that I am going through some stuff.
Thank you, everyone, who has been patient and kind to me! I hope that you all have an amazing day and that you all stay safe <3
xoxo Night <3