"The Isle..."
PG 13
Summary: What "Riverdale" did to "Archie and Jughead" and "Betty and Veronica", I'm doin' to "Gilligan's Isle" ...
Disclaimer: All characters of Gilligan's Isle remain property of that series...Any resemblance of fictional characters to those living or dead is purely coincidental...
Part XII...
After a ten minute rant to no avail, even the ever-patient and somewhat-subservient-to-power Mary a bit put out by his insults to her efforts to placate him... "Who the f- are you? Tell them to get the f- off my boat or you're fired! Hell, you can go with them, you stupid b-!", Crumpt had finally given up and sequestered himself in "Crumpt's Deckspace" occasionally demanding he be fed and someone tell him when the hell a limo or copter would pick him up. The others, too busy greeting the newcomers and helping them get settled or reviewing the day's events or helping with inventory or starting to prepare some means of cooking a dinner, ignoring him, he finally rose in anger and stormed below, demanding in passing that Lovely secure him three cheeseburgers, fries, and some the hell kind of chocolate shake...Only to find...
"Hey, you!" Crumpt screamed up to Lovely on deck. "Somebody put a stiff in my room! Tell 'em to get him the f-out!"
"Fredwyn, the poor man is in a coma." Lovely sighed.
'Hey, you' must be his pet name for her...Ginger, listening from the beach, hissed to Gilligan who smiled sheepishly as he grilled hamburgers on the fire he and the Skipper had built. The Professor having improvised a grill from parts on the Minnow and dried sand bricks. Steve eagerly and blissfully smelling the cooking meat, happily feeding the fire with dry driftwood.
"Screw him! Get him out or I'll...!"
"You'll shut up and leave the fellow alone, Crumpt!" the Skipper cut in from the table on deck where he and the Professor were drawing a map of the known section of the island and making an inventory list. "He needs the bed, it's not your room."
"Goddamn you! I fired you! I want him out, now!" Crumpt had climbed back up on deck, red-faced and puffing from both the unusual exertion and his rage.
"I don't work for you and this is my boat." Raising voice. "In fact, if your folks all don't mind..." Looking about... "I think we better make this clear once and for all. I'm the Skipper and I'm in charge here on this island until we find a rescue unless you folks have a better candidate in mind."
"That's me!" Crumpt cried. "Everyone wants me!"
"Not me!" the Professor, firmly. "The Skipper is best suited for leading us."
"Skipper for me!" Ginger calls from the beach.
"I'm with the Skipper!" Gilligan calls.
"Well, I suppose the Skipper really should be in charge of us." Mary, pondering a moment.
"The Skipper..." Lovely Crumpt nods, shy smile to the Professor.
"You worthless...!" Crumpt bellows, glaring at her. She eyeing him steadily till he looks away.
"Now, of course you new folks, Karen, Steve, have a say..." the Skipper calls.
"Yeah...What'll you take to vote my way!" Crumpt calls, waving fist in air. "I'm taking America and this island back!"
Didn't know he owned either...Ginger grins to Gilligan.
"Could be worse...It could be trump." Gilligan notes.
Uh...Well...Steve thought. I have been sharing the leadership with Karen among our little band of three...But this fellow Grumbie is a ship captain and it is his boat, which I do not wish to be ejected from...
"Captain Grumbie should do just fine by my lights!" he calls.
"Damned foreigner, who cares what you think!" Crumpt, fuming.
"I don't knows, Fred...I'm an American citizen for five years now." Lovely, smiling at the others.
"The other bitch didn't get to vote. Fraud!" Crumpt insists.
"The Skipper guy sounds fine to me." Karen calls from the tank shower below deck where she was carefully luxuriating in her first shower in months.
Buncha damned Commies...What kind of American don't take a bribe? Crumpt thinks angrily.
Well, she's probably a furrener too. And a lesbo.
"Thanks, folks." The Skipper nods. "Now lets get dinner finished and then the Professor and I will go over what we have and what we think we should do next, tomorrow."
"I paid you, Grumbie!" Crumpt cries.
"The usual fare...And you've gotten the same service everyone else has, even more so." the Skipper notes. "Now dinner is not included in that fare so if you want something to eat, shut up, sit down, and wait for it. Or better yet, how about lending a hand here?"
Heck, he didn't even tip...Gilligan notes with grin to Ginger, she tossing more driftwood on flames as he turns burgers.
"I don't do that. I'm a big picture guy. That fetch and carry is for losers, like you." Crumpt sneered.
Yeah, how could anyone not want to vote this guy into the White House...The Skipper thought.
What amazes me is how close he is to winning and how dimwitted his followers are to put him there. I guess our educational system really has declined. The idea that we should have to waste our valuable time and skills to take him out to save the nation is just insane...
"Fred, just sit and I'll bring your burger when it's done..." Lovely suggested, gentle tone.
"I said three burgers! And fries!. Coke, if these losers don't have milkshakes!"
"Two a piece, Fred." The Skipper, firmly. "No fries, sorry. We can give you some chips or pretzels or some salad."
"Commie health nut..." Crumpt mumbled. "Salad?"
"Well that's some relief...He won't last long." Ginger hissed to Gill(igan) who returned a quiet smile.
That's for sure.
...
Far below, in the main lab of the Balinkoff complex...
"Good, huh?" Igor stroked a reasonably calm and content Amanda as she pecked at the fresh grain he'd poured in bowl for her.
"The Doctor says you're in very good health, in spite of all that running around and being out in the jungle. He can go ahead with the transfer in just a few...He's getting Henmanda ready right now."
Amanda raising head to eye him...
Seriously? Henmanda?
"It was just an experiment, Amanda. If you hadn't run away, we'd've put you right back." He insisted.
Uh-huh. Sour "bak..." as she returned to pecking grain.
Eat...Get strong. Then, run...Unless. Mad guy really means it.
Get back my pretty nice body. Good.
Swear I'll never be bothered by my flabby upper arms again.
"Come, come, my dear..."
Amanda raising head in fear at the sound of Balinkoff's voice...As he led a rather nervous Henamanda carefully into the lab, a security guard in uniform by her side to keep her from running.
"Bak?" she eyed Amanda on lab table.
"Yes, yes...It's you." Balinkoff nodded. "We're all ready to put you back where you belong, with all your wonderful new skills. Won't that be nice, dear?"
The woman eyed him narrowly, then Amanda who regarded her.
Mine...Both thought, at once.
"Bak...bak...bak...No!" the woman cried, turning to flee. The guard holding her...
Both Igor and Balinkoff stunned.
"She talked, Master!"
"Yes, indeed she did." Balinkoff gasped. "She's starting to acquire linguistic ability, amazing. If only..."
"Master?" Igor, pleading tone.
Yes, yes...The course of true Romance and all that...
Besides, chickens don't live so long and who knows what damage is being done. It will be equally interesting after all to see how the poor girl recovers. Schizophrenia among other conditions a definite possibility...Alzheimer's early onset a lesser but still...
So much potential to learn here...
The rewards to medical science alone of my work here are sure to outweigh any minor moral qualms in all this...
"Igor, we'd best proceed before one of her injures herself, bring her to the chamber..." Balinkoff commanded.
"Yes, Master...Uh?"
"Oh, yes...The lady first."
"Right." He proceeded to where the increasingly nervous Henmanda was trying to wriggle free of the guard.
"Bak..Bak..Bak...Bak! No! No!" she cried.
"Bak!" an agitated Amanda responded.
No let her hurt my nice body!
Say...I think I've lost a little on the waist there. Eyeing body as Igor grabs the woman and firmly leads her to a glass chamber on the far side of the room.
Five plus pounds at least...Nice.
"Come, dear. This will all be over in a moment." Balinkoff took a suddenly squawking Amanda into his arms.
No trust you! No!
"It's all right, Amanda!" Igor called, closing the chamber door on Henmanda as she nervously flailed arms about...Bak!...
"Your body is all set for you. Just be calm, dear."
Ok...Nicer guy may not lie. Ok. She calmed in Balinkoff's arms, he carrying her over to a second glass chamber.
But soon as I get my bod back...I'm runnin' like hell. He setting her down on floor of the chamber.
"Just be calm, dear. One moment and you'll be yourself again...More or less." Balinkoff noted, locking chamber door.
Frowning at buzz from cell phone...
Delays...Delays...Nothing but...Delays...He takes phone.
"Yes, Jess? Oh, yes. That matter. How goes it? Yes, yes...?"
"Don't worry, honey." Igor, soothingly to Henmanda now quite agitated in her booth, arms striking randomly at the glass. "Just one more minute."
"Doc?" he turned to Balinkoff. "They're both getting' pretty antsy. I think I can handle it."
"Yes, go ahead." Balinkoff waved an arm. "Just be careful with the sequence, don't rush. Yes, well Jess, I trust you to handle things here. We want no more problems or delays but I'll go with your best judgment. Yes, yes...Very good."
Igor now at control panel, flipping switches. Electrical arcing now seen at electrodes at the tops of both booths.
"Igor! Safety glasses!" Balinkoff called.
"Oh, sorry, Master." Turning to grab goggles.
After all, the Balinkoff lab would not wish to jeopardize its safety rating...
Scientist, yes...Mad, no...Balinkoff nodded as Igor flipped final switches.
"Yes, Jess. You handle it and let us know how it goes." He told phone. "Just be sure there is no interference tomorrow. Whatever you feel necessary, dear girl, I'm sure you'll make the right call here. And thank you for all your hard work on this. Oh, we're about to restore Miss Donovan to her body. Yes, it should be very interesting to hear her experiences."
Bolts arcing about lab...Whizzing and whirring of machinery, both booths glowing.
Henmanda and Amanda both rigid and frozen in their respective positions now...
Then, as suddenly, both released and calming...Bolts subsiding, whirring fading.
"There we are..." Balinkoff beaming at a staring, startled Amanda, in her own body, nervously trying to open booth.
"Let me out, you crazy! Igor! Help me!"
"There's our girl, Igor." Balinkoff smiles over. Igor likewise beaming.
Well, your girl...Of course.
Bak...Bak...Henmanda in her chicken body staring over.
Kinda skinny that one. My mate would never wanted me that thin.
Bak...