"So you confessed your feelings for each other while she's in the ICU and you also had your first kiss in the ICU? Aigoo, you are something else, brother," Hae said over facetime.
"Hey, I don't plan these things, noona, they just happen, okay?" Bin answered defensively.
"Ye-jin's really gonna get it from me when you guys come home. Oh I'm gonna tease her like never before."
Bin smiled at Ye-jin while holding the phone in front of him. "I think she'll enjoy that."
"How is she doing today?"
"She's awake, talk to her," he replied while turning the phone over to Ye-jin. "Here, babe."
Hae shrieked over the phone, making the two laugh.
"'Here, babe,' aigoooo how cute," his sister said all excited.
"Hi, unnie," Ye-jin waved with a smile. "How are you doing?"
"Aisshh, I'm supposed to be the one asking you that. Don't worry about us here, we're okay," she answered. "We're all waiting for you to come home so we can come visit you. How are YOU doing?"
"Not too bad, unnie," Ye-jin answered while smiling at Bin, who flashed her a smile back. "My boyfriend here takes good care of me."
Hae shrieked again and Ye-jin couldn't help but laugh. For the first time in days, Bin saw her eye smile again, bringing him a sense of comfort in his heart. He reached for her hand and gave it a rub, making her look at him as she laced her fingers with his.
"Aigoo, I'm tired," his sister finally said from being so hyper. "Aigoo aigoo, you got me so hyped up. Look at you blushing, Ye-jinssi."
Ye-jin shook her head and chuckled while they waited for Hae to settle down.
"I really am happy for you two," Hae said with a smile.
"Thank you, noona."
"And I'm glad to see you smiling and laughing, Yej, you gave us quite a scare."
"I'm okay, noona. Bin and I will be coming home in no time," Ye-jin smiled. "I can't wait to recover at home."
They caught up for a while longer until Bin noticed that Ye-jin was uncomfortable in her position. "Hey, noona, we'll talk again soon. I'm gonna help Yej here get comfortable in bed."
"It was nice talking to you, Yej. Take care, okay? Love you both," Hae said as she waved on facetime.
"Love you too, noona," Ye-jin said while Bin waved back before ending the call.
She turned her head on the pillow to look at him more while Bin was putting his phone away.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
She let out a sigh before giving him a smile. "I can't wait to go home."
Bin reached for her chest and gently rubbed his palm on it. "Let's get this better first, okay? Let's make those lungs work so we can get you off the oxygen."
Ye-jin was transferred to the orthopedic unit after six days of being in the ICU, but due to her lungs collapsing, they still haven't been able to take her oxygen off. With the imporvements her lungs were making, they have only been able to titrate it down slowly. Although she was still having a ton of pain, she has been doing her best to move around and do her breathing exercises.
She smiled at him and held his wrist that was on her chest.
"Do you need anything?" Bin asked after a while.
"I need to go to the bathroom," she answered.
Just as he was about to help her sit up, Ye-jin looked at him and gave him a determined look and a smile. Since the first time she got out of bed in the ICU, she hasn't been able to sit up on her own because of the pain she has on movement.
"Babe," Bin said with a worried tone.
"I just want to try," she said with a smile. "You can help me afterwards, I just wanna try sitting up on my own."
"Alright, but know when to ask for help, okay?"
"Got it," she replied.
Bin stood to the side of her bed and watched her turn to her side using the techniques her PT showed her to keep her spine straight. He gave her a smile to encourage her once she made it on her side on her own.
"You're doing good, Yejie," he said as he bent down to kiss her nose, making her smile.
Ye-jin took her time to get used to the sensation in her back from changing her position before using her arms to push herself up from the bed, simultaneously bringing her legs off the bed as she finally sat up on her own.
He leaned closer to her and held her hand as she closed her eyes, frowning while biting her lip. "I'm okay," she whispered.
"I'm okay," she said again, more to herself than Bin.
When she opened her eyes, he was smiling at her while caressing her arm.
"You did it," Bin said as he closed the gap between them and gave her a quick peck on the lips.
Ye-jin smiled and breathed in deeply through her nose, slowly exhaling through her pursed lips to expand her lungs.
"I think I'm gonna need something for pain after I use the bathroom," she said with a light chuckle while rubbing her back. "Oh my back."
"Do you want it now?" Bin asked while tucking her hair behind her ear.
"No, babe, I'll have it after I use the bathroom. I think I'm gonna sit on the chair after."
He gave her forehead a kiss before bringing her spinal brace and walker closer to the bed. The brace was something she will be using for the next couple of months unless she's in bed. As for the walker, she would still need it until she's steady enough to walk on her own without it. Given her weakened state and weak legs from the crash, she will also be using it even after discharge.
Bin was helping her put the brace around her torso and secure it when he heard her suck in a breath. He looked up and saw her eyes closed.
"Yejie, did I hurt you?" He asked with panic in his voice.
"No, no, it's not you. It feels like this every time I put the brace on. I'm just sore."
He leaned closer again and kissed her lips. "Did that help?"
"Yes," she answered right away, making him kiss her again.
"Beanieee," Ye-jin covered her face, smiling and blushing underneath her hands.
Bin laughed and kissed her forehead. "Okay, let's get you to the bathroom."
Using her walker, she walked the short distance to the bathroom while Bin made sure that she wouldn't trip over her oxygen tubing and her IV pole. He did the same thing walking her to the chair, making sure none of the tubings were tangled. With his help, she sat down.
"Are you okay?"
Ye-jin took a deep breath and smiled at him. "I'm okay, thank you."
Just as she leaned her head back, she saw a figure in the corner of her eyes. Her eyebrows met in surprise.
"Dad?"
Bin turned around and immediately bowed down to her father.
"Ye-jin," her dad said as he walked towards her bed, bending down as he gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Bin," he said as he held his hand out to him.
"Sir." With his right hand, Bin lightly shook his hand while his left hand supported his right forearm as a sign of respect for her father.
"Dad, you didn't have to come all the way here," Ye-jin said without taking her eyes off her father.
"I had to come see you, Ye-jin. How are you feeling?"
Bin excused himself to give the father and daughter a chance to talk and waited outside her room.
"I'm okay. How did you know which hospital I'm in? I don't think I told you when I talked to you the other day," Ye-jin wondered.
"I talked to Bin on the phone," her father answered as he took a seat in front of her. "Ye-jinssi, how are you really doing?"
Her father held his hand out to hold her hand and his gesture made her swallow a lump in her throat.
"I'm okay," she answered quietly.
"Ye-jinah," her father called her name out softly, making her look at him.
She never bonded with her father and she never formed a relationship with him. She was always with her mom, considering her dad was always away on business trips when she was a kid. After her mother's death, she was left in the care of nannies while he flew back and forth between the US and Korea. It was for that reason that she didn't like going there and she was more accustomed to the Western culture. As a kid, she felt as though it took her father away from her when she needed him the most.
He spoiled her with almost everything, except his presence. She hated being under the care of nannies, so Ye-jin learned to look after herself and decided to live on her own once she finished highschool. In her mind, she didn't need to rely on anyone else for anything in order to live well.
She loved her father a lot and he was very soft spoken. He has always been supportive of her activities and has not shown her anything that would take her respect away, but she couldn't help the resentment she has towards him for not being by her side and for letting her grow up on her own. Despite his efforts in frequently meeting with her when he was in California, they remained distant.
"I'll be okay, Dad," Ye-jin replied quietly.
"You were still struggling when Bin was helping you back from the bathroom, is that still expected?"
She gave a subtle nod. "It'll be like that for a while. I could have muscle spams in my back even after I get discharged so they're going to prescribe some muscle relaxants and strong pain medication. I also have to wear the brace for at least three months, maybe longer."
Seeing her in her situation shattered his heart. Her father took a deep breath and looked at his daughter. Although he was rarely there, he doesn't care for her or love her any less. He was very proud of her. Of all his accomplishments, nothing could top the pride he has for Ye-jin. Even from afar, he followed her racing career very closely, and so he was devastated when he heard about the crash while he was in Korea.
"I'm sorry," she heard him say.
"For what, Dad?"
"I would switch places with you if I could," he said while looking at her.
"Dad, please. I'm okay."
Ye-jin swallowed the lump in her throat when her dad held her hand tighter, gently holding it while caressing her fingers.
"Your mom would be as devastated as I am seeing you like this," he said quietly. "Get well soon, okay?"
"I'll be okay, Dad," she said while looking in his eyes.
"What's your plan after you recover from your injury?" He asked.
Ye-jin took a deep breath and looked at her father. She could see how much he loved and treasured her, so she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth.
"I hope you think about not going back to racing," he said quietly. "I know how much it means to you, but I worry about you all the time."
She gave him a faint smile and a nod to acknowledge what he said. "I know, Dad."
"I love you, sweetheart," he said while giving her a kiss on her forehead, making Ye-jin swallow another lump in her throat.
"I love you too, Dad," she replied softly.
They talked for a while, until Mr. Son stood to the side when a nurse walked in for some assessment and medications. Bin peeked his head in just as Ye-jin turned her head towards the door, seeing him standing there. She gestured for him to walk back inside which he gladly did.
"Can you help me lie down?" Ye-jin asked him softly.
"Of course," he replied with a smile while he rubbed her shoulder.
Her father watched how the two interacted, feeling a sense of relief that Bin was there for his daughter. He was a constant topic whenever Ye-jin would meet him while he's in town.
Once in bed, she took a slow deep breath and closed her eyes.
"I'm gonna let you rest, Ye-jin," her father said. "I'll be back again."
She opened her eyes to look at him and gave him a nod. "Thank you for coming, Dad."
Mr. Son gave her a smile and leaned down to kiss her forehead.
"Thank you, Bin," her father said to him.
"Thank you, Sir."
Just as he was about to walk out of the room, her father turned around and looked at her. "Ye-jin?"
She looked at him in response.
"I'm really glad you're okay."
Ye-jin nodded at him and gave him a faint smile. "I'll talk to you again soon, Dad."
Mr. Son gave his daughter another smile and she watched him walk out while her eyes turned glassy.
"What's wrong, Yej?" Bin said, his eyebrows furrowing in worry as he sat by her side on the bed and held her hand.
"I couldn't tell him, Beanie," she said in a whisper. "I couldn't."
"Hey, that's okay. You can tell him when he comes back," Bin said as he tried to comfort her.
Ye-jin shook her head, her tears falling from her eyes as she looked at him. "I can't get myself to tell him."
He wiped her tears, wondering what it was that was making her cry like that. "Yejie, what's going on?"
"My mom died of the same heart condition, Beanie," she finally said. She said it so quietly that he would not have heard her if he wasn't sitting so close to her.
Bin's eyebrows met. He felt like his heart was being squeezed dry. He looked at Ye-jin who looked in his eyes and saw something he hasn't seen from her despite all that she went through from the crash, until now. She was afraid.
She accepted her diagnosis when she received it. As hard as it was to retire so soon, she was positive that it was an opportunity for her to live longer, to do more things with her friends, with Bin, and with her life.
Seeing her father fly from Korea to be with her, hearing him say how much he loved her and seeing how relieved he was that she was recovering well made her realize her fears.
She was afraid of telling her father that she was diagnosed with the very same condition that took his wife away. She was afraid of putting him through the same pain he already went through. She was afraid of bringing back the uncertainties, the worry, the fear he had dealing with her mother's condition. She was afraid of having the same fate as her.
"I'm scared, Beanie," she whispered to him as her tears poured out from her eyes. "I'm scared."
"Hey," Bin said as he leaned down and held her face in his hand. "We're gonna do everything to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to you, okay? We're gonna do everything we can."
"He already went through it with my mom, Beanie, I can't put him through the same thing again," Ye-jin said while softly crying.
"Yej..."
She shook her head, softly crying while she held on to him tightly. "I don't want to put you through what my dad went through, Beanie. I don't want to put you through that."
Bin was heartbroken once again. He was seeing a different kind of fear from her. It was a realization of reality and that in itself also scared him. He wanted to comfort her, he wanted to tell her that all will be okay, that she will be okay, but he, himself, was also afraid.
"We're not gonna have the same fate as your parents, Yej," he said, unsure of whether it was to comfort her or himself.
"It happened so fast with her, Beanie," Ye-jin said as she cried. "I remember how she was still moving around so well. She was doing all that she wanted to do when all of a sudden, she was gone. I woke up and she was gone."
"Yej..."
Bin's tears kept falling from his eyes and his heart wanted to burst from the pain of seeing her like that and from the pain of thinking of that possibility in their situation. He didn't know how to comfort her, how to calm her down, so he bent down and hugged her gently.
"I'm scared, Beanie," she whispered again as she tried so hard to calm down. "I'm scared."
"I'm right here, Yej, I'm right here," he said while rubbing her arm.
He felt her shift under him as she slipped her free hand between their bodies. He sat up when he saw her rubbing her chest with her eyes closed, her face still wet with tears. She was also trying to calm her breathing down.
"Yejie," he said with a frown.
Ye-jin opened her eyes to look at him and gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm okay," she said softly.
"Hold on, let me call a nurse," Bin insisted.
"Babe," she said in an attempt to stop him. "I just stressed myself out too much."
Bin pushed the callbell button before using his free hand to rub her chest gently, his other hand still holding on to her.
"Can you breathe, Yej?"
She gave him a nod, her one hand reaching for his face and using the back of her hand to stroke his cheeks. "I'm okay."
"Yej," he said softly, turning his hand to kiss her hand on his face. She could see just how worried he was.
He stood to the side as the nurses assessed Ye-jin. He kept her eyes on her and she would constatly look his way, trying to comfort him with her eyes.
That night, Bin sat awake by her side as he watched her sleep soundly. He thought that he had already prepared himself and was ready for what is yet to come, but he realized, he was just as scared as Ye-jin.