Epilogue
"Sir, do you want anything else?" tanong sa akin ng waitress.
"Coffee please." sagot ko. She smiled and poured me my 5th cup of coffee. "Thank you, Mildred."
"Anytime, Elmo." sabi niya saka na bumalik sa kitchen.
It's been 2 years since I went here to New York. I left the Philippines because I know that no matter what I do, Julie will never come back to me. I sold the house I gave her and gave the money to Mang Nicolas for his daughter's college education. I started a small business here in New York. It's a small photography studio. Something to keep me from thinking about her.
"I knew you'd be here." I woe up from stupor when I heard a familiar voice. It's Nick, my cousin and business partner. "What's up, buddy?"
"Hey, Nick." I said.
"Still waiting huh?" he asked. I nodded as I took a sip from my coffee.
Another reason why I went here is because I knew that Julie is here. I went to her office a year after we broke up and her officemates told me that she left the country a year ago because of a job offer from GQ. And yes. The reason why I hangout in this diner because it's near her office building and I'm taking my chances of seeing her for the last time. Hindi man siya bumalik, atleast magkita lang kami so that I could apologize. Dahil sobra ko na siyang nasaktan.
"Hey, are you listening?" nagulat nanaman ako when Nick patted my back.
"Huh? What?"
"I said, there's a wedding next week and the couple wants us to cover the whole event." aniya.
"Ah. Sure sure." wala sa sariling sabi ko.
"It'll be in 620 Loft and Garden in Rockefeller Center." sabi niya.
"Sige. Uhm. Sinong ikakasal?" tanong ko.
"I think the name's Daryl. I'm not really sure though." sabi niya.
"Daryl..." I echoed. Tumango siya saka kinuha ang sausage na nasa plato ko.
"Yup. Pinoy din. Mukhang kilala ka nga eh. Ge. I'm going back to the studio." paalam niya. "Don't wait for her. Let time bring you back together, dufus." halakhak niya saka na lumabas ng diner.
"Hey! You haven't paid yet, Nick!" habol sa kanya ni Henry, asawa ni Mildred.
"I'll pay for his food, Henry." sabi ko.
Tumango siya saka na nagpatuloy sa pagpupunas sa countertop.
My mind wandered back to our client. Daryl... Daryl... I know I've met someone with that name. But where? I tried harder and then it hit me. He was the guy who liked Julie. Hindi kaya... No. Hindi pwede... Pero hindi imposible. Because I know that he might take his chance to get Julie to like him back. Maybe even fall in love with him. I guess we can't be together anymore. Maybe hindi nga talaga kami ang para sa isa't isa. Baka nga hanggang dun na lang ang kwento namin.
"I'll go now, Henry." paalam ko pagkabayad kay Henry.
"You take care buddy. I'll call you once I see your girl." aniya sabay kindat pa.
"She's not mine anymore. She's getting married next week." sabi ko saka na lumabas ng tuluyan.
Naglakad na ko pabalik sa studio at saka na sumalampak sa harap ng computer ko.
"Did someone died?" tanong ng isang photographer namin na si Alice. Tumango naman ako saka sumubsob sa mesa. "What happened?"
"She's getting married, Al. She's getting married to another guy." sabi ko.
"How sure are you?" she asked saka na umupo sa katabing upuan ko. "Did you talked to her? She finally came to the diner?"
Umiling naman ako saka tumingin sa kanya.
"I just have a feeling about it. Maybe we'll be like Tom and Summer."
"Pfft. You watch romcoms?" Alice asked. I looked at her and she stifled her laughter. "Okay, I'm sorry."
"What should I do, Al?" I asked.
"Think of it this way, maybe the reason why you haven't seen her yet is because she's too busy with her job. Or maybe she's currently not here in New York."
"I'm not sure, Al. What if she really is getting married?" I asked her.
"Well I guess you just have to finally let her go." kibit-balikat na sabi niya.
The week passed by and it's finally the day of the wedding we're gonna cover. Naghanda na kami nina Nick and Alice and we all went to Rockefeller Center for the venue.
"Wow. This place looks different." puna ni Alice nang makarating kami sa 620 Loft and Garden.
"Yeah. Way different. The magic of getting married." sang-ayon naman ni Nick.
"Uhm... Y-you go ahead." sabi ko naman saka muling lumabas. I walked down the hallway towards the men's bathroom at doon ako tumambay. It's a good thing na ako lang mag-isa ang andun. Kundi nakakahiya. Para akong timang. "Brace yourself, Elmo. The love of your life is finally getting married and the guy you hate is her soon-to-be husband."
After I washed my face ay lumabas na ako ng washroom. I walked lazily back to the venue nang may marinig akong batang umiiyak. I looked around and saw a little boy standing against the wall as he cries.
"Mommy..."
I looked around and saw no one so I decided to approch him.
"Hey kid. You lost?" I asked.
"Mommy... I want my mommy..." he cried.
I looked at his face and was surprised to see myself in him. We have the same eyes and the same hair. His cheeks are chubby too.
"U-uhm... What's your name?" I asked him.
"Apollo... I want my mommy..." iyak niya uli. Kinarga ko siya and he leaned his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arm around my neck.
"Where did you last saw your mommy, Apollo?" I asked him.
"She told me that she's going to the mommy's room..." he sobbed.
"Okay. Maybe we should just wait for her here. That okay with you?" he nodded and snuggled closer to me. I smiled secretly as I feel his little body against mine. If only Boomboom was alive...
"What's your name, mister?" Apollo asked when he stopped crying.
"My name's Elmo."
"But you don't look like an Elmo." he chuckled. Napalayo siya sa akin and I saw how he tries to stifle his laugh.
"Why? What does an Elmo look like?" I asked him.
"Elmo has an orange nose. And he is red. Hahahaha! You're not him!" he laughed. Natawa na rin ako sa kanya. His laughter sounds so familiar it's as if I'm listening to Julie.
"Hahahahaha. Maybe I was named after him." I joked. He nodded saka pa niya ako tinitigan uli. "How old are you?" I couldn't help but ask.
"3" he answered.
"You know, I was supposed to have a baby and he was supposed to be just like you. And if he was just alive, he'll be as old as you. And you could be friends." sabi ko.
"What happened?" he asked.
I shook my head and the. We heard someone calling him.
"Apollo?" we both looked and I was surprised at who it was.
"Mommy!!!" Apollo shrieked and wiggled his way out of my arms. I watched as he ran towards his mom and his little arms clung to her small waist. She knelt down as she hugged Apollo and I saw how worried she looked when she checked his face.
"Are you okay? Where have you been? You scared mommy." she said.
"Sorry, mommy. I thought I lost you. But mister helped me." he said and even pointed at my direction. His mom looked and me and we both looked surprise.
"E-Elmo..." she said.
"Julie..."
"You know my mommy mister?" Apollo asked. I looked down at him then at Julie. Why do I have a feeling that Apollo is my Boomboom?
"Uhm... Apollo, honey. Why don't you go with your Uncle Patrick okay? Mommy will be there shortly." Julie said.
"Okay." ani Apollo and he ran towards the door to 620 Loft and Gardens.
"H-hi..." I said. She smiled but it doesn't reached her eyes. I guess she's bot happy to see me. "Uhm... So... Apollo..."
"Can we talk somewhere?" she finally said. I nodded immediately and we both walked towards the elevator.
It was an awkward trip down to the ground floor. But I'll be contented with it. This would be the first time after 3 years that I finally have her on my own.
We walked towards the coffee shop just around the corner and sat at the corner of the shop.
"Do you want anything?" I asked her. She shook her head and stared at me.
"Ask. Now." she said in staccato.
I bowed my head and stared at the table napkin in front of me. Where do I start?
"Apollo's your son?" I asked. She nodded as she squared her shoulders. "Is he..."
"Yes."
"Oh..." I breathe. "Why?" I asked.
"Why what?"
"Why did you told me that he's gone?"
"Because I don't want you near him and near me anymore." she said seriously. "I hate you so much that it still hurts seeing you now."
"Julie..." I tried to reach for her hand on the table but she removed it even before I touched her. "Julie anak ko din siya. Bakit mo tinago? Bakit mo siya nilayo?"
"Hindi mo ba ko naintindihan? I told you, I was so mad at you and I hated you. I loathe you even." she hissed.
"Julie, I'm sorry." was all I said. "Pero that doesn't mean na pati bata idadamay mo."
"That's none of your business, Elmo."
"It is my business Julie! You and Apollo are my business!" I said. Halatang nagulat siya sa pagtaas ng boses ko. "I'm sorry. Hindi ko kasi makaya. Tatlong taon mong tinago na buhay ang anak natin. What do you expect from me? Syempre magagalit ako diba? Julie anak natin yan. Hindi mo lang anak yan."
"Ayokong marinig lahat ng sasabihin mo Elmo." aniya. Akmang tatayo na siya when I held her arm.
"Julie, just tell me what happened to us. I tried asking you back pero your friends kept pushing me away. You kept on pushing me away."
"Try asking that to yourself, Elmo. Bakit nga ba tayo nagkaganito? Sino ba ang nanloko? Ako ba? Ako ba ang nanggago?"
"Julie, alam ko naman kung ano ang ginawa ko and I was sorry. Mahal kita Julie at mahal pa rin kita hanggang ngayon. You don't know how long I have waited for you in the diner by your office building, Julie. Two years. Two fucking years pero wala. But I was still hoping na magkikita uli tayo. And here it is. Nagkita na nga tayo. Julie, I still love you. Please. Give me another chance." I pleaded.
"I gave you a lot of chances Elmo. Pero sinayang mo lahat." aniya. "Isipin mo na lang na baka kaya tayo binigyan ng second chance ni Lord noon dahil yun na yung chance natin para maghiwalay ng maayos."
She started crying and I felt my insides hurt. I will always make her cry. Palagi na lang. Dahil gago ako.
"Si Daryl..." sabi ko.
"Daryl was there when you weren't, Elmo." sabi niya naman. "He was the one who stayed with me when I needed you most. Siya yung sumalo sa akin nung niloko mo ko."
Hindi ako nakakibo. Every damn word just struck me right through my heart.
"I'm sorry, Julie." sabi ko. "Alam ko wala na tayong pag-asa na magkabalikan. I mean, you and Daryl..."
"Daryl and I are good friends. He's marrying Shannon, my officemate and roommate."
"So you mean..."
"I don't want to risk myself anymore, Elmo. I've had enough already. Siguro palalakihin ko na lang si Apollo mag-isa." sabi niya.
"Julie, kahit hindi na tayo magkabalikan. Just please. Give me a chance with my son. Kahit konting panahon lang Julie. Hayaan mong makabawi ako kahit sa bata lang." pakiusap ko.
Alam ko naman na wala na talaga kaming pag-asa. Pero sana kahit sa anak ko lang, magampanan ko naman yung role ko.
"Fine. Sabagay, hindi ko naman matatago ang katauhan mo kay Apollo." sabi niya. "Let's go back."
We silently walked back to the wedding at agad siyang sinalubong ni Apollo.
"Where have you been, mommy?" Apollo asked. Binaba niya si Apollo and looked at him. Ngumiti lang naman si Apollo and held his mom's face. "Mommy did you cry?" he asked again.
"No, honey." she answered. "Anyway. Apollo, remember that time when you asked me about your daddy?" she asked him.
Tumango naman si Apollo saka pa siya ngumiti.
"You told me my daddy is in the Philippines. Right, mommy?" he smiled.
"Well, he's here." ani Julie. Nanlaki ang mata ni Apollo and his smile turned into a grimace.
"Really mommy?! Where is he?! When are we gonna meet him?! Let's go mommy! Let's go nooooow!!!" he said.
"Honey, calm down." natatawang sambit niya. "You really want to meet him?" she asked.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" he squealed.
Tumingin sa akin si Julie and I took it as my cue. Lumuhod ako sa tabi ni Julie and Apollo looked at me then back at her.
"Hello, Mister Elmo!" he waved at me.
"Hi, Apollo." I greeted back. "Can I talk to you? Like a real man?" I asked. Tumango siya saka ako nginitian. The more he smiles, the more I see myself in him. There's no doubt that he is my son.
"Apollo Grant, listen to Mr. Elmo okay?" Julie told him.
"Okay mommy." aniya.
Hinawakan ko sa magkabilang balikat si Apollo saka ko pa hinawi ang buhok niyang nakatakip sa mga mata niya.
"Apollo Grant San Jose, my name is Elmo Moses Magalona. And I'm your dad." I said. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya at napaawang pa ang bibig niya. "Hi, son." I said as tears rolled down my eyes.
"Daddy?"
"Yes." tango ko.
Napatalon siya at saka napayakap sa akin. He snuggled his head on the crook of my neck at humigpit pa lalo ang pagyakap niya sa akin. This just feels surreal. Finally, I'm hugging my son and he's hugging me back. Tumingin ako kay Julie and I saw her crying as well. I reached out my hand and she took it. "Thank you." I whispered. Tumango siya and squeezed my hand. Lalo pa kong naiyak when Apollo called me again...
"Daddy!"