I contemplate running after him but just as I decide to dash out after all, Mr Robinson comes out of the store.
"Well, Evie! What are you doing out here in the cold?" I paste a smile on my face.
"Oh nothing, Mr Robinson. Just missing something." Or someone. That spectral fog has settled upon the town once more.
"Is it out here? Shall I help you look for it? What is it?" Mr Robinson shivers slightly in the cold air and readjusts his glasses, staring out into the mist. Rafe is no longer there, swallowed by the curling tendrils of fog that seem to clutch so very tightly at this place.
"No. It's gone. And I think it's beyond salvaging now."
Surely this is what I wanted? I wanted to break up with Rafe. Those nightmares. They're warnings. And yet somehow, I now regret that urge to break us apart.
The worst part about working in the bookstore is that there's not much to take my mind off Rafe. I recite the first twenty elements of the periodic table. Then I look up the rest of them on my phone and plug in my headphones to listen to the elements song. Eventually I'm able to recite the first fifty elements. But after a few recitals, I trail off. Lost in thought again. A man comes in to buy an Agatha Christie novel for his impending flight and as I attempt to make small talk, I inadvertently ruin the ending for him. Aghast, I apologise profusely. Give him that novel and offer him another one, both for free. And although he accepts the books, he shakes his head at me, looking betrayed.
He stares at me as if I am a wicked person and suddenly I feel like exactly that.
Finally, my shift finishes. Although it is only late afternoon, dusk has befallen the town. The mist seems to swirl through the air as I traverse the streets, my coat pulled up tight against the cold. I still don't know what to tell Rafe. The heels of my boots clatter noisily against the slick pavement. Too loud. Each step disturbs the silence of the night. There are no bird calls, nor chatter of crowds in this weather, and barely any cars too. No headlights flashing in and out of sight. The only sources of light are the dull glow of the ornate street lamps that line the streets and the occasional glimpse of moonlight when the clouds dissipate for a few seconds.
I'm nearing the Neptune Fountain when I hear the echo of footsteps behind me. My breathing becomes ragged and I hold my breath as I pause. Do I say something? The fountain is shrouded in darkness and the nearest street light is too far away.
Yes. I will say something.
"Hello?" My voice sounds so small in the looming emptiness of the silence between us... between me and this unseen person.
The clatter of footsteps stops and I feel a cold shiver trawl it's way up my spine. My heart beats ever so fast and I start to properly panic. My back is pressed against the cool stone of the fountain and a spray of water from the fountain is making my hair damp and cold but I do not care right now. I open up my purse, rifle through my belongings, the ring on my finger snagging on a useless receipt from eons ago. I push past my air pods (there they are!), some sugar sachets in my bag. Why the hell do I have sugar in my bag? I thought I had pepper spray. Oh god, please tell me I have it.
"Is somebody there?" I call out desperately. There is a sudden wind that erupts around me and it whips my words away as I tap at my phone screen, turning on the light. The tiny glow does nothing in the fog. But in the sudden howling of the wind, I think I hear something. Not footsteps, they'd be snatched away by the hurricane like forces around me. A voice.
"Evie? Is that you?"
Oh my god.
"Gareth!" He emerges from the fog. Like a ghost, taking form. A mere shadow sliding into reality. When I see him, I rush him, melt into his arms.
"Hey Evie! What are you doing out here alone? Where's Rafe? Or is he still at that meeting?"
"I don't know," I say into his chest. "I was walking home. What were you doing?"
I pull away from Gareth and look up at him.
"I met my ex today. We haven't seen each other in forever! We had lunch together and then, uh, we went back to her apartment... lots of catching up to do."
"Oh, I bet." I let the smirk creep into my voice as my heart rate slowly returns to its usual pace.
"Whatever Leger," He laughs. "C'mon, let's get you back home." I suddenly feel so much safer walking with Gareth. We settle into comfortable silence as we walk. After a few hundred metres, he hesitates. "Uh, Evie. I really really want gum."
"Uh, okay. I'm sure there's probably some in my purse maybe?" I start to dig through it again but Gareth stops me.
"No, it's fine. I, uh, really want that Dino gum, y'know?" No, I don't know but I don't want him to leave me. "The grocery store's just up ahead. I'll just run in and get some. I'll be quick, alright? Just wait here." He puts his hands on my shoulders and gently stands me next to a street light.
"Wait, Gareth." What the hell? Dinosaur gum? Seriously? As if! He disappears into the mist and his voice floats back towards me.
"I'll be literally a minute!"
I don't know how he's able to find his way through the dense fog and I suddenly feel slightly scared again. The clouds drift through the sky, past the moon and for a second, the mist seems to clear and I can see the entire street, but then the wind starts up again, filling the air with it's vicious roar and then the darkness falls upon me again. I dig my phone out and start up a timer. Man, am I pissed at Gareth for leaving me. I can't shake this feeling that there's something dangerous concealed in the fog. The stopwatch on my phone ticks past a minute, then two, three, four. Eventually I turn it off and toss it into my bag.
Finally, I hear him. He's whistling, a haunting melancholy tune that I feel that I've heard before, perhaps in a dream. Parts of the melody are snatched away by the wicked, wild wind and there are empty rests in the song, gaps filled with nothing but white noise.
"Gareth, you said literally a minute. Not practically, or virtually or figuratively, literally. Do you know how long it's been? Do you know what it'd mean if I said I'd literally kill you?"
The whistling stops. Wait a second. Gareth was desperate for gum. Surely, if he was craving it, he'd be chewing it right now? Can you chew gum and whistle at the Same time? Fear grips me. Oh my god. I can just make out the shadow of a figure in the fog. The wind stirs my hair, whips dirt and dust at my face. I have this sudden irrational, irrelevant thought that I should have worn glasses today, would have helped keep the wind out of my eyes. The figure looms towards me and I stumble back against the street light as he steps into view.
"Hey there, Evangeline."
Elio.
Oh my gosh. A cruel cold smile slides onto his face.
"All alone out here, huh? Maybe we can pick up where we left off last time?" He steps closer to me and I feel frozen. "If I recall, my hand was here," He says as he moves it toward my thigh. "And my mouth was..."
I step backwards, stumbling a little. "Don't touch me. Don't you fucking dare touch me."
"Ooooh, feisty. But there's nothing you can do, is there? No boyfriend to save you this time?" He circles me, his expression innocent as ever, and I turn to run, but he grabs my wrists, pinning me against him. In that moment I am so immensely scared. As he moves his mouth towards me, trails his hands across my body, and I let him, for a single second. I shut my eyes, steady my breathing and try to remember.
Okay.
Letting my heeled boot leave the ground, I stamp it back down, hard on Elio's foot. Knee him in the groin as soon as he cries out and then I spin away from him, ripping his hands away from me.
"You are going to apologise to me, right now," he snarls, and launches himself toward me.
But I am ready for it.
I pull my arm back and then let it carve through the air, in a perfect arc towards Elio. My fist connects with his jaw. Oh, that sharp jawline is no match for the cruel diamond cut of the ring I wear. It carves a wide gash across his handsome face. Destroying that façade with a scar. Now he looks the part of the villain.
Blood trickles from the cut, and he stumbles about wildly before crashing to the ground. He's conscious though and I am suddenly terrified that he will get back up. In that moment, I lose all shred of humanity.
When you fight a monster, you become a monster.
Even though he's down, I am powerless to stop the adrenaline and fear that courses through my veins. I kick him repeatedly, as hard as I can. Spraying mud and blood all over his stomach. His hand is splayed out and I suddenly remember him at the piano. The con started there. And so I stamp on his hand. Hard. I actually feel something crack. But in that moment, I do not care. It only lasts a few seconds and then Gareth is there, pulling me away from that monster, Three Sugars.
"No!" I growl at Gareth, thrashing wildly.
"Evie. Oh my god. Stop. Come on, Evie. Stop!" Eventually, I let go of the anger. Let it ebb away.
"Gareth, do you have any idea what he was going to do to me?" I say, my voice almost calm and deathly quiet. When Gareth sees that I am no longer fighting him, he relinquishes his hold.
"I have a pretty good idea, yeah." I take a step towards Elio's battered body as he groans weakly, and Gareth tenses. "Evie..." He says, a warning in his voice. I reach back into my purse, dig out the sugars I found earlier.
"Three Sugars," I say, as I tear the each of the three papers and pour the sugar on top of him.
"Wait? Three Sugars... him? He is...? You mean, he's done this before." Gareth doesn't comment on my bizarre ritualistic actions, the pouring of the sugar. He rakes a hand through his hair. "God, Evie, look at him, they're gonna be lawsuits and fuck knows what else." He digs his phone out of his pocket. "Ever met a police officer?" He says as he start to dial.
*
We're at the station for what seems like hours. I don't know what happens to Elio. He gets taken to the hospital, apparently. I tell Gareth that I hope Elio dies and Gareth flinches, shushing me. "No, Evie, I don't think that even Rafe's lawyers can get you out of that. Well... maybe they could?" Rafe arrives after many tense minutes and I hear snatches of a murmured conversation between him and Gareth. It'll all be alright apparently. It was self defence. Gareth saw what happened. And I explained to the detective about the time at Tilbury's. Maria saw what happened that time, too. Elio's in trouble.
Eventually, after hours, we get back to the hotel. Gareth bids us adieu. And I feel very sorry for dragging him into a police investigation. He came here for a holiday not a brawl. But he hugs me and whispers that he is proud of me and my "scientific hair for fighting back against that creep".
Rafe lets me go and shower to wash away the remnants of the ghastly day and he waits for me on the Chesterfield, by the fire.
I curl up beside him and we sit in silence for a while, sitting stiffly apart, not touching, staring at the flames, before he says something.
"Gareth tells me you have a mean right hook."
"Yeah, my first boyfriend taught me to fight. He was worried that I'd get into trouble because I'd always be at so many parties and he wasn't always there with me. So one summer, he taught his sister and I to fight."
"You, parties, fighting?"
"Yes." I say, and Rafe shakes his head slightly as if storing that information away for a later discussion.
"So. Three Sugars." Finally I meet his eye.
"Do you remember that day at the library? When I went to get coffee. I was annoyed at you, I didn't think you cared about me." He starts to speak but I cut him off. "I was angry and Elio was a distraction but..." My voice starts to waver. "He... he assaulted me." Tears start to stream down my face.
Aghast, Rafe stares. "Oh Evie, what did he say? God-" I shake my head. And Rafe realises what I mean, his eyes, wide with horror. I hold my hand out in the air, watch as my fingers tremble slightly. I can still feel the burn of Elio's hands on me as I trace where he touched me. Rafe's gaze follows my hands and he turns away slightly. "Fuck. This is all my fault. I left you. I saw you with him and I presumed that... oh, why didn't you tell me?"
"I was scared, Rafe. That you didn't want me. That I was... tainted."
"No! Don't ever think that!'
"But it's true. I led him on. I kissed him. I...I did tell him no straight away, but I must have made out like I-"
"No! Angel, this isn't your fault! Don't!" Rafe's eyes are shining. With tears? "You didn't trust me! And rightfully so! Evangeline, I'm so sorry, I should have been there for you. God, and your nightmares, are they...? And you're always so scared when I touch you. God, I should have-"
I cut him off.
"No, Archer." And then I kiss him. He abruptly pushes me away.
"Leger, you just... are you sure?"
"Yes, Rafe. I need this. Please." And then I press my lips to him again and he hesitantly entwines his hands in my hair as if I am some kind of fragile china doll.
When he pulls away again, still uncertain, I tell him again. I want him, need him to erase Elio's touch, and Rafe scoops me into his arms and takes me to my bed. He touches me ever so delicately, scared of me, scared for me.
But eventually, he understands and I let him eradicate all traces of that monster, Three Sugars.
~~~
Oh my fucking god, guys. I have two exams next week which I just found out about. Really really not ready for them. Send kisses and please comment because I need the extra support right now. SOS.
Love you,
Amberly (a seriously stressed uni student)