A|N: 1k guys, thanks so much!!! It means the world! And to show you that here's some fluff (but not entirely because I also thrive in plot) because I really just need more happy things in my life rn and so do Soot and Grimm, hope this happiness helps you as much as it helps me
Also hope the length makes up for the wait (that's what he said)
Lots of love
Crucible
GRIMM
He clung to me like he was hanging off a cliff and I was the single rope keeping him from falling, and I clung to him so he knew that I wouldn't let him fall.
We had reached my room hours ago, from what I could tell of the sun through the window. My rooms at the estate here were nowhere near as extravagant as those at the royal palace but it never bothered me. The bed was comfortable enough, and large enough for both me and Aita to fit, though he was so small it hardly made a difference, and with how close we were pressed together...
Our legs were entwined, one over the other, interlaced like ribbons on Madalena's dresses. The height from the top of his head to his hips fit within the length of my torso. He was so small, some of it I knew was from malnutrition, his arms were nearly as thin as my fingers, nothing but skin and bone, his hips and cheeks were sharp. And his legs, or rather just the one seemed to have a few places where his bone dug almost painfully into mine. Though it could have just been the angle that it was folded.
I didn't care though, because right now I had him in my arms, and I wasn't planning on letting go.
It had nearly killed me when Wolf has said that we needed to leave the royal palace, that his lead would only meet us out at the southern castle. But with much reassurance from Madalena I had left, though my heart had stayed back with Aita.
Wolf's lead had almost been worth it. When I had turned eighteen a Lady of the royal court had come to me, pulling me aside during the birthday festivities. Lady Marionette Whitehead was a fearsome woman, she—and her late husband—owned the largest trading company in all of the northern continent.
My mother had worked hard when she was alive to gain the favor of the Whitehead family. It had been her last act as queen to sign a treaty with them to open up the kingdom to trading from everywhere under the supervision of the Whiteheads.
And so not only had the two women ensured economical security for the entire kingdom but they had gained a friend in each other.
When she had finally pulled me away the words out of her lips had startled me nearly to death.
"I don't think my sons death was an accident."
It was the only part of the conversation I could remember clearly, I knew I had confessed to her that I wasn't aware she even had a son that had died. I knew her step sons, they were two of my top knights. But she told me of another, the child of her and her mate, a boy of six who had died while she was on a trip of foreign affairs. Her second husband, Lord Tremaine, had been tasked to watch her child but had sent word halfway to her destination that the boy had fallen into the river and drowned, his body washed away by the white rapids.
I knew she had cried while she told me, and I knew they were tears of anger. She didn't think it had been an accident.
I had searched mercilessly for years and found nothing. It was only with the help of Wolf (which earned him the esteemed spot as the future kings beta) did I finally find a small clue. But the one Wolf had pulled me to the estate for this time was much more important.
He had found a maid belonging to the Whitehead estate. She was old and had worked for the family for fifty years. When Wolf pulled me to talk to her she was crouched in a pasture, holding a lamb in her lap, watching her small herd graze.
She hadn't even greeted us before she spoke her only words, "The boy wasn't dead when he left the estate, and it wasn't the river that took him."
And that was all we were able to get out of her, her mind had deteriorated except for that one sentence, and no matter how hard we pressed she could not tell us who had taken the young lord or where they had gone.
And since I (followed diligently by Wolf) had gone to each of the surrounding towns to ask about a young boy coming through nearly twelve years ago.
Aita stirred in my grasp, and pulled me from my thoughts.
He brought a fist up between our chests so he could rub at his eyes. "How long was I sleeping?"
If I were being honest I hadn't realized he was asleep, I had been too deep in my own thought. From the sun through the window I could tell it was only midday. "Not long my love."
It was a dangerous sweet-name to call him, especially when we hadn't even declared our courtship, but that all felt unnecessary with him. I knew my feelings for my Angel and I didn't care what anyone said was proper.
I looked down in time to see his cheeks flush and smiled. "Should I call for some food? I'm hungry from my ride." I knew he would have refused if I had told him I was worried about how much he was eating, and how frail he felt under my touch. He nodded into my chest and I pulled the rope near the bed, one that would alert the kitchen staff to bring food.
"I can go get some," he mumbled weakly, "I don't want to inconvenience anyone." Though he said it he snuggled closer.
I chuckled. "And leave me cowering and defenseless?"
"You couldn't be hurt, it might bring a curse or something, since you're so beautiful, it—" he stopped and yawned, before finishing his thought, "—it's how all fairy tales go, the handsome one is cursed or—" he yawns again, "or its the princess. I can't remember."
Though his obvious need for sleep was worrisome the sweet ramblings of his half awake state made my cheeks flush and my hearts pound, hard and strong in tandem.
I had been certain when I first saw him, nearly trampled by my horse that, Aita, was special.
The second time I had seen him, his voice echoing through me like the commandments of the Goddess, I knew he was heaven sent.
The third time, my heart beat hard and fast and it wasn't until I had left him behind with my cousin, a castle between us did I realize that I had never felt more alive.
The fourth time we had kissed. And I was certain that he was my mate. I didn't need the full moon or a temple full of the Goddess' worshippers to tell me. I was as certain as if the Goddess herself had told me.
And now, now I felt that I would crack, would crumble, would collapse if he were ever away from my side.
I would marry him, have him as my queen, my one true love for the rest of my life.
But what would he say... if I asked him to be mine?
Did he even feel the same? I wished more than anything that he did.
I'd never been one to pull my words, "outspoken devil" my father called me. My fathers nickname for me was much more charming than Wolf's who just called me a "whiny whore". I couldn't stand to not know his thoughts.
"Aita." I whispered.
He hummed a response. He was tracing patterns of stars and open free skies across my chest, where my shirt had fallen open. It sent shudders through my body.
"Would you marry me?" His tracing paused.
"I—" he began pushing away
"No, please. Just listen." He did. Collapsing back onto my chest, though now he turned his face towards the mattress beneath us, so I couldn't even feel his emotions across my skin.
"Not now, today. Unless of course you would want to. But make a promise to me now. The night of the festivals ball is the night of the full moon. A night where unmated Were's are supposed to be able to find their mates. I am not mated, and if that is still the case on that night, I would ask that as soon as the full moon sets, that you would marry me. Let me care for you eternally, give you everything I have to offer. That is... if you love me, as my heart loves you."
He was silent for several moments. His chest, mostly his ribs, brushing against my own with each breath. His hair was a heavy curtain over the back of his neck and across the pillow cushioning our heads.
"Aita." My hearts beat flaky and worried with every second left silent.
"I do," I caught my breath on its way out of my chest. "I do love you. With everything I've ever been or will be."
The smile blooming over my face was an aching and wonderful pain. It was torn away quickly.
"But I'm— I'm not the one for you. Grimm—Grimm, you deserve so much more than a sla— than me." He finally uncovered his face from the security of the space between us. He looked at me and I could see it in his eyes how much he truly believed that he—he was in some way lacking.
I bit my lips, looking to find the right words. It wasn't until I pressed my forehead to his, that I pulled him close enough for our hearts to beat against each other , that I found the truth in my soul.
"You do not know your worth. And if you promise that when the full moon comes and neither of us have found our mates, that you will marry me when I get to one knee and place a ring on your finger. Then I will begin dedicating my life to making sure you know how much you are cherished."
We searched each other's eyes for a long time. I could almost see it in his when he agreed to my one request. "I don't suppose you'll be dissuaded."
"Never."
"There will be many people who—who would think it unnatural for someone like me—who might be attached to common law."
"I know the kings heart, he will grant us this, will sanctify our marriage, our choice. There will be no one to stand in our way." Father has promised already, in vague terms, that I could marry whomever I chooses so long as I didn't find my mate. I would not let him back out of that promise.
"There's— something you should know..." he sighs and I can physically feel his body trembling in fright. "I—"
He's cut off by the doors to my room opening. Two kitchen staff enter with large gold platters in their hands. I feel the rage rise quick in my chest but quell it just as fast. It was the worst time they could have delivered the food but they couldn't have known and I had asked for them to deliver it to me.
They are silent as they place the food on the study table before exiting. Sending one quick glance to the bed where Aita and I laid woven together under sheets of silk. The door clicks behind them and I can relax.
Aita is biting his lip when I look back down to him.
"What were you going to tell me, my love?" The name felt better now, on my tongue, since we had both shared our feelings.
He though for a moment before sighing. He places a splayed palm onto my chest like it would steady him. "Before you propose on the night of the full moon, before you get down on a knee, I want to tell you something. I can't say it now, but I promise to tell you then. And if you still feel the same—" his voice hitched, it was shocking, was there really something that he thought could change my mind?
"—if you can still look at me and not want to hide me away, then I will gladly bind my life to yours."
I could feel the exception coming.
"But, if you can no longer look at me then I will forget I ever loved you for your sake."
"Aita—" I was lost. I didn't understand. What could possibly keep me from loving him? What could change the strongest purest feelings since the beginning of life? I wanted so badly to argue, to tell him how wrong he was, how sturdy I was in my love. But I could feel his body trembling under mine.
He wasn't crying but it was as close to it as one could get without shedding a tear.
"Please, please don't cast me off now. Grimm, let me be selfish, let me stay with you, until you can not stand to look at me, please let me stay." His words were so soft and shattered.
I could feel the beast inside me growl and pace in my chest. I had only lost control twice and that was when I was young and unmatched for its primal feelings. But I felt him slip out just a little bit, felt the tips of my teeth sharpen to carnal tearing tools. That beast, my beast was scared, I could feel how scared and anxious he was. And it was all because Aita shook like he was dying.
I pressed my lips to his temple first. Ignoring when my teeth dig into my tongue and lips and cheek.
Then I pressed a kiss to his cheek, where the skin was soft though it was hollowed. Then to his eye which was closed to the terrors of the world. Then to his nose which I knew twitched when he smiled. I kissed his brow which showed his every emotion.
I kissed the corners of his lips, the parts which showed his smile. Kissed my way slowly until all of my lips were pressed to all of his. Until there was no place to go but further in.
I pulled away enough to get a breath in. "Can I kiss you?"
His whispered "yes" was like butterflies wings and rays of sun.
I pressed my lips once again to his.
He opened willingly. Returning my movements with each of his own. I tried to keep my weight off of his frail form, not wanting to cause him even the slightest discomfort. But as he wrapped his legs around my waist, crossed his ankles over the small of my back, lifted his body close to mine—off the mattress—with his grip I gave in. I lowered us both until were were pressed so close our hearts were singing next to each other.
His breaths fanned against my body like heat from a fire and I could feel my body shake with the joy of having him in my arms. The honor of being allowed to express my love through kisses, and flushed skin. He was an Angel and I had been given a whispered "yes". My hearts sang and sang and sang.
The love in my chest was nearly painful and I thought that if Aita wasn't my mate that I wouldn't have room for more love in my body.
When we stopped it was from exhaustion and satisfaction. I pulled away for a moment to retrieve food from the table. But even with those few feet between us I felt like I was drowning until I was touching him again and he gave my lungs oxygen.
When I had made sure we had both eaten our fill I stopped holding myself off. The second "yes", a yes which meant I could show him again just how I felt, nearly brought me to tears, his consent was covenant.
We stopped when our bodies could not carry on, falling into sleep in each other's arms.
——————
I paced in front of the closed doors, irritated by Madalena's insistence on keeping Aita away from me.
"He needs to be fitted for the ball. If he's to go with a ruffian like you he needs to look like a diamond." She had snipped, jabbing her fingers into my side while her mate lead mine into the other room.
"He is a diamond." I spit back, crossing my arms. "And a Rose, and sugar and an Angel. He doesn't need clothes to prove it."
Madalena's rolled her eyes and closed the doors between us, shutting me away from Aita. My body itched with the separation.
I turned on my heel again. They had been in there for nearly an hour. I growled, we had to leave the next morning and I knew I wouldn't be given time with him once we were back and he was cleaning and I was doing whatever princely thing my father required of me.
I was about to shout to Aita through the door when I was interrupted by a deep voice.
"You're acting like a bitch in heat." There wasn't humor in Wolfs voice. He wasn't a humorous man, except when he was around his mate. Wolf smiled and laughed like it was the last time he would draw breath every time she was near.
"You're one time talk, old bastard. Don't you have a grave to go lay down in?" He wasn't wrong but I was in a mood, my second form, my beast was pacing in my head just as much as I was in the halls.
"If I hadn't seen you fight in the battle of Dunshe I wouldn't believe that you had slain three thousand men singlehandedly." This time he did smirk... just a little.
He approached with two massive strides. His hand clapping on my shoulder was familiar, really the only affection he shared (except for the rare hug).
"You need to calm yourself. Your enemies call you Caspian the Conqueror, Caspian the Cold, Caspian the Cruel. Would you really want them to see you now, pacing like someone was dying while they were just being fitted by the tailor?"
"If my enemies have problems with my actions they can take it up with me on the battlefield."
Wolf only raised an eyebrow, his signal that he wasn't going to argue because I was being stupid.
I sighed. "Do you not feel like screaming when you're away from Dianor? Like you could burn down kingdoms just to hold her?"
Wolf drew in a deep slow breath. "Every second I am without her."
"I love him Wolf. I'm scared for the full moon. If he is not my mate I'm not sure that I'll be able to leave him for another."
"You will love your mate, regardless of what you feel now." It felt cold and cruel, not the words I was hoping to hear.
"But I do not think the Goddess is so cruel. She cares for all of her children, she grieves when they do, she is overjoyed when they are. She wants happiness for you, and for him."
I pursed my lips. I could only hope what Wolf said was true.