i'm really busting for the bathroom and i'm holding it in to write this chapter fuck
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I wake up slowly, finding myself tangled between Ashton's limbs and his naked body pressed against mine. I smile as I look over to a snoozing Ashton beside me. His hair is sexy and messy, spread out across the pillow and his lips slightly parted and soft breathing escapes from his lips. He looks so peaceful and innocent when he's asleep, it's almost impossible to remember how he was when I first met him.
When I first met Ashton. That's definitely something I remember pretty well and never expected to result in this as the outcome. If you'd have told me five months ago that I'd be laying here, naked, beside this beautiful, slightly fucked up boy - I'd have probably laughed right in your face. I guess you can never really predict what's going to happen in the future. Suddenly I remember Ashton mentioning about leaving next month for a trial to get accepted into some soccer school in London. What if he leaves me? Especially after what happened last night - he can't leave me!
My mind is interrupted from it's spasm of thoughts, when Ashton stirs beside me. I can't help but grin as I look to him rubbing his eyes lazily, the sight of him makes me feel fuzzy inside. Instead of greeting me like I had presumed, Ashton rolls over and reaches into his drawer. I watch him with confusion, wondering what he was looking for the moment he had woken up. Ashton pulls out a pair of rounded frame glasses and puts them on.
A small giggle escapes my lips as I see him, looking like a major adorable dork. He flops back down onto the pillow and hugs the blankets to his chest as he pulls me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder as he presses a kiss to my forehead. I think my heart may fall out of my chest from how fast it's beating. How does he have this affect on me?
"Good morning," Ashton finally hums, twirling strands of my hair between his fingers.
I smile just from his groggy voice and the sound is soothing. "I had no idea you wear glasses."
Ashton sighs, pressing another kiss above my head. "Sorry, I'll put my contacts in later."
"Don't," I whisper, looking up to him for the first time this morning. "I like them."
Ashton's lips curve up into a grin as he holds me a little tighter. "Why do you make me feel like this?"
Me? If anything I should be pointing fingers to him as to why he makes me feel like this. Everything about him makes my stomach fill with butterflies - no, more like a whole garden, and I just want to always be around him. I gave my virginity to him. That's got to mean something.
"Thank you," I whisper - not really knowing what else to say, "for last night."
Ashton's grin stays plastered on his face and the site causes me to feel even more lured into him. "My pleasure, Lacey. Literally."
I blush at his comment and snuggle deeper into his chest. I knew that we had already missed first period of school, but neither of us seemed to fussed about getting to school anytime soon. All I want to do is lay beside the guy I've found myself falling in love with. Love? Maybe. I guess I don't really know what that feeling is, but whatever I feel for Ashton can't be that high school crush anymore.
Everything seems to be going well. I decide to open my dumb mouth. "How many women have you been with?"
Ashton always immediately jolts up. "What?"
I press my lips together. Perhaps it was the wrong thing to ask, but I guess I'm going to have to finish my question off now. Shit. "Have you been with many girls? You know, had sex with them..."
It's a dumb thing to ask - I know. I just can't stand the thought of other girls ever touching Ashton in the way I did last night - the thought makes me sick. I want to know how many I'm dealing with and whether my mind will be able to handle the fact however many girls have been intimate with my Ashton.
Ashton sits up, leaving me laying between the pillows as he runs a hand messily through his hair with frustration. He presses his lips in a thing line and looks down to me. "Why would you ask me that, Lacey? Are you insane!"
I bite down on my lip. "I was just curious."
"Well don't be," Ashton snaps, letting out a deep sigh. "I was in a bad place, okay? I thought sleeping with girls would distract me from all my other shitty problems. I just wanted to feel good for a little while before having to return to my shitty life."
I reach out and cautiously take hold of Ashton's hand. He stiffens for a moment, before allowing me to pull him back down onto the pillows beside me. It wasn't as if I wanted to scare him away, I just want to know more about him. I want to understand him and know all there is to know.
I lay my head back down on Ashton's bare chest and wrap my arms around his torso. He allows me to do so with no objections and returns back to playing with my hair. "Ashton?"
"Hmm?" He hums, pressing a kiss to my forehead. Jeez, can my heart stop spazzing out just for a moment?
"Do you remember when we got locked in that PE cupboard?" I chuckle at the memory, however Ashton remains amused.
"That seems like forever ago," Ashton says slowly. "I was such an asshole."
"You still kinda are," I tease, poking his side and chuckling.
Ashton raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Oh am I?"
"Yes. Luke was saying-"
Ashton interrupts with a groan. "Why do you always bring Luke into our fucking conversations at the most unneeded times?"
I sigh, ignoring Ashton's comment. "He said you kicked him off the soccer team," I continue, "will you just consider letting him back on the team?"
Ashton rolls his eyes, running a hand through his long curly hair, before returning it securely back around me. "Why do you care so much?"
"Luke's a good guy," I say softly. "He's also a good player and he's meant to be your best friend. You need to stop pushing people away."
Ashton doesn't speak for a little while, leaving us in silence. I don't mind though, it's good because I know he's thinking carefully about what I said to him. It frustrates me that I can't automatically know what he's thinking and understand him completely - but maybe I like the fact of having to stick around until he admits it to me himself.
"I don't like when you make me think about things," Ashton finally says, "it's too early for this deep thinking shit."
I smile because I know I've won. If Ashton were to object to allowing Luke back on the team, he would have automatically protested against it. "Do you have a better idea of what we could do?"
Ashton smirks, rolling on top of me and supporting himself over my body with his hands either side of me. I smile just as the site. "I can think of a few things..."
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I practically drag myself into the school, not wanting to be here at all. After yesterday being such a good day spent with Ashton, I didn't want to go back into reality and leave the bubble I was securely inside of. I walk into English, only to be greeted by a few people looking at me strangely. Obviously I automatically pressume the worst. Had Ashton told anyone anything about yesterday? He wouldn't, right?
I take my seat at my desk, having a few people snickering as they look to my side of the room where I'm sat alone. The teacher thankfully walks into class, stopping at pointing at me. Great, not Mrs Walker too. "Lacey, you're needed in Mr Raye's office."
I nod, quickly grabbing my bag and making my way to the PE department where Mr Raye's office is - just happy to be out of that lesson. I walk into Mr Raye's gloomy and depression office, where he's sat bashing the keyboard of his laptop. I carefully shut the door behind me and grab Mr Raye's attention.
"How did I even lose that bid?" Mr Raye erupts, slamming his laptop lid down with a load crash. "I was willing to spend three hundred damn dollars on those damn One Directiont ickets!"
Mr Raye pauses and looks up to me. "Don't suppose you peronally know One Direction to convince them to give me some spare tickets for the show next weekend, do you?"
I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head, walking forward and taking a seat at Mr Raye's desk. "You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Do I?" Mr Raye asks me, before nodding as he remembers. "Oh, yes, I do. It's come to my attention that the whole school has been a little distracted by your relationship with another member of this school."
For fuck's sake. "They have?"
"I mean, I understa-" Mr Raye pauses, "actually no I don't. I don't quite understand why you kids nowadays think it's acceptable to miss school just so you can get groovy in the bedroom."
"I don't-"
"Do you think anal is more important that alebra, Miss King?" Mr Raye snaps. "Is that what you kids think?"
Oh please save me. "I don't know what you're talking about, sir."
Mr Raye rolls his eyes and shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh like he always does when he's irritated. "Ashton has kindly decided to announce why you two weren't in school yesterday. I mean, I don't want to go into details but-"
"I don't really want you to go into details either, sir." Ashton told everyone what happened! I feel like I could hunt him down right now and kill him. I suddenly feel anxious as to what he said said, because knowing Ashton it probably wasn't the nicest way he would have put it. How could he do something like that!
"Anyway, between you and me, Ashton's a little...you know," Mr Raye whispers and I furrow my eyebrows. "I just want you to know if you ever want to talk about things, I'm here."
"Thanks, but-"
Mr Raye interupts. "I get it, Lacey. All you kids care about is sex, but all that will happen is you will get addicted to sex and then it will probably lead to death."
"Death?" Please let me out of this place. "And I really don't think I'm addicted."
"Well, do you intend on doing it again?" Mr Raye queries. Oh for fuck's sake! Someone - anyone - get me out of this office before I die.
"What!" I gasp, my cheeks burning red. "I guess-"
"See, admitting the problem is always the first step towards solving your addiction, Lacey," Mr Raye says. "Plus, you don't want this to end in death, do you?"
"Death?"
"Yes, like that couple who were going at it in Build-a-bear and then got sucked into that stuffing machine."
I slowly stand up from my seat - the chair itself was falling apart - and walk cautiously over the door as I attempt to run out of the place. "Thanks for the advice, sir."
"Anytime, Lacey," Mr Raye smiles. "Remember not to have sex or you will die."
I quickly swing the door open and slam it shut again once I'm out into the freshair and our of the room, which smells of death and depression. I spot Ashton walking out of the gym - sweaty and panting in his sports shorts and shirtless. The site is so sweet that I almost forgot that I'm mad at him.
I charge over to Ashton as he stands outside of the gym gulping down some water. He smirks at he sees me walking over to him and parts of me just want to run into his arms and feel the way I did the other night towards him. Other boys begin to flood out of the gym, taking up most the room in the corridor however I ignore them as I approach Ashton.
"Hey, baby," Ashton smiles, leaning forward to kiss me. I feel his lips press against mine but refuse to kiss him back. He pulls away and pouts, "why do I feel like I've done something wrong?"
"Yes," I say bluntly and Ashton throws his head back and sighs.
"I knew Mr Raye would open his big fucking mouth about what happened earlier," Ashton groans. "He better give me my twenty dollars back."
He paid Mr Raye. That's got to be a new low. "I've been getting weird looks all day, Ashton. You know how much I hate being centre of Ashton and thanks to you - everyone thinks I'm another one of your sluts!"
"Ouch," Ashton winces. "I know baby, I'm sorry, but the boys were teasing me about not getting laid so I had to back myself up." Ashton shrugs, pouting at me and giving me puppy eyes as if I should be feeling sympathy towards him right now. Jeez, this boy.
"You know what Ashton - you're such an idiot sometimes," I find myself droaning on and I honestly had no idea where I am going with this. "You're like some sort of sex addict and do you know what happens to them? They die!" Apparently.
Ashton runs a hand through his damp from sweat hair, making himself look really sexy and making it almost impossible for me to want to slap him right now. "Lacey, come on, you're overreacting. I was just letting the guys know so they know you're mine. I mean, it's obvious Luke still wanks over you."
"Can we fucking not!" I almost yell, causing all the boys in the corridor to look over to us. I lower my voice, "I thought you would stop being like this."
Ashton rolls his eyes and groans. "I don't understand why you're getting so pissy. I thought the other night would have been enough to prove how much I like you, Lacey."
I blush at the mention of the other night, enjoy the short memory of it before snapping myself back into reality. "I don't want people to think I'm just one of those." I nod in the direction of the cheerleaders - most of them who Ashton had slept with within the past year.
Ashton presses his lips in a thing line, before the corners of his lips tug into a small smile. "You're not. Who cares what others think?"
"You!" I almost burst. "You do, Ashton. That's the problem and then it makes me care and suddenly we're both messes. I don't want to die in build-a-bear workshop!"
"Oh no, that's always been my life long dream." Ashton sarcastically teases and causes me to smile. "I just don't know what else I can do to make it clear to you that I like you a lot - like a lot, a lot...lot."
I smile and think for a moment. "Let me meet your family."
Ashton's face turns cold as he glares at me for a moment and shakes his head frantically - not seeming to even consider the idea. "No, no way. That's not going to happen."
Ashton rolls his eyes and begins to walk off into the boy's changing room. Is he serious right now? I figure that if he will allow me into the deepest and darkest part of his life, maybe this thing can really work and maybe everything will finally just fall into place. I grab Ashton's bare arm and pull him back before he walks into the boy's changing room. "Please, Ashton."
Ashton speaks sternly and his expression is hard. "No. It's not going to happen, Lacey."
"You said that the one time I wanted to watch Dirty Dancing and then we did!" I tease and it's clear Ashton's holding back a smile. "Remember and now it's like your favourite film."
"What's whose favourite film?" Michael Clifford comes up behind us and questions.
I chuckle and continue to tease Ashton. "Ashton's favourite movie Dirty Dancing."
Michael grins. "Mine too, bro!"
Michael high fives Ashton and walks into the changing rooms. I look back at Ashton as he smirks to me, knowing my attempts to embarrass him always seem to fail. "How is it that even you can make boys watching chick flicks look cool?"
"Because I'm a cool guy," Ashton smirks.
"You've changed the subject again." I quickly remind him and he lets out a deep sigh. Well, at least he isn't objecting anymore. "Come on, Ashton."
Ashton rolls his eyes and groans. "Fine. Don't think this means I'm some sort of whipped boyfriend though. I'm still my own man who likes monster trucks and football."
Before have a chance to react, he lets out a loud huff and storms into the changing rooms, although in my head the only noise is of the whip hitting Ashton. Oops.
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i'm sorry the late update guys, y'all know whats up bc i've already explained that but yeah this chapter is pretty shitty but the next one will be better (i hope)
omg dont even judge me but how cute is michael for getting taylor that bigass teddy bear for her birthday??? i ship it and what u gonna do about it hUH!?1
OKAY IM GOING TO THE TOILET NOW BYE