chapter twelve, as i lay dying
tvd s2, e22
MARIAN HAD NEVER FELT SO USELESS IN ALL HER YEARS OF LIVING. She was dying, and she was sure that because of her part in breaking Klaus' curse, the witches were making her die slowly. She could barely see, the sound of muffled voices soft in her ear.
She felt a warm hand enclose hers as she lay still on whatever she'd been laid on. Suddenly, the dull blurred colours around her changed. She found herself sitting on the steps of the Salvatore Boarding House, only it was different. Older.
Looking down at her lap, she noticed she was wearing the dress she'd picked out for her wedding. Her family didn't have a large amount of money, but by no means did that mean her dress wasn't extravagant. She remembered how much she'd loved the way its layers upon layers of fabric comforted her.
"You know, when I said I didn't care ..." Turning slightly, she was met with a younger-looking Damon. He was wearing a grey tuxedo with a large white flower in its pocket, a pale green vest under the blazer. She smiled; she'd loved that vest to no end.
"I know," she said simply. "I'm sorry for being so rude to you. You can be a real dick sometimes." Her voice was slightly deeper, confirming that she was indeed a little older than she was in this life.
"I guess denial and deceit runs in your family," he said with an amused huff. "Elijah ran off with Klaus. We lost." Marian nodded, looking ahead. She wasn't sure if she was glad or disappointed: she loved Klaus, but he had done too many terrible things in her lifetimes that had harmed her beyond reason.
"And Elena?"
"Alive. And human." She nodded, noticing the slight tension in his jaw.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I just—is it bad that I wanted her to become a vampire?"
Marian smiled softly. "Is it bad that you wanted her to die? Yes." He gave her an annoyed look. "But is it bad that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you love? No."
He looked up at her. "I don't love Elena," he denied.
"Please, you look at her the same way you used to look at me." She looked away from him, swallowing a lump in her throat. "Our wedding day, huh?" she asked.
"Call me a sentimental old fool," he said. "But I really miss twenty-three-year-old you. You were so sexy."
"So what's sixteen-year-old-me?" she challenged.
"A pain in the ass." Marian laughed.
"Imagine if you'd actually married me," she said. "That would've been a nightmare." She snorted. "Little Damon Salvatores running around. God, I think I'd die."
"I'm not that bad," he argued.
She rested her head on his shoulder. "I guess not."
They sat in silence for a while, watching as the Sun began to set and fall below the trees, a brilliant yellow and orange glow spreading across the sky.
"Damon?" He hummed. She took both his hands in hers, turning her whole body to face him. "Don't hate Elijah. He's a good guy, he's just trying to bring our family back together again."
"He ruined our plan," Damon reasoned.
"But he did it for his family. You'd do it for Stefan, wouldn't you?"
He said nothing, looking into the distance. She could feel her throat hitching with every shallow breath she took, her strength withering away.
"I don't want you to die," he told her after a moment.
"It's okay," she said. It wasn't okay—she didn't feel okay—but she refused to tell him that. "I'll find you again. Who knows, maybe the witches will bless me and keep me in Mystic Falls," she joked. She knew she wouldn't; she'd never been reborn in the same place she'd died in.
"Such a blessing," Damon agreed with a scoff. "This town is cursed." She knew that he wasn't only talking about everything that had happened in the past year. He was talking about Elena, and Katherine, and her—the three women he loved who could never give him what he wanted.
Marian looked at him, a smile gracing her lips. "As my dying wish, I want you to tell Elena how you feel," she said.
"Mar—"
"Go now," she encouraged him. "Go make yourself happy. I don't want to burden you anymore—"
"You're not a burden, Marrie," Damon said.
"Please," she scoffed. "You literally told me that Alaric was your shrink because of me."
"I love you, Marian." She pulled him into a tight embrace as he kissed her forehead.
"You know, I didn't get to say goodbye last time?" she said. "There were so many things I wanted to say, to do. But most of all I wanted to tell you that I love you, and that I'll never forget you."
Suddenly, he disappeared. Damon opened his eyes and let go of the girl's hand, leaning over and kissing her forehead one last time. Then, he stood from his seat and walked to the door of the hospital room, turning to take one last look at the dying girl he'd once loved. "Goodbye, pretty girl."
...
Niklaus had never felt so ashamed of himself as he sat beside his niece, holding her hand to give her the sweetest of dreams as she lay on a hospital bed, unconscious.
The dreams were from her past, when she was still human. Finn laughed to the side as Elijah pushed Niklaus out of the way, running towards Rebekah who tried to shield a young Marian from her uncles. Henrik, the youngest of the siblings, held Marian's hand as she hid behind her aunt. She screamed as she was lifted into the air, Kol laughing as he held her in his arms.
"Marian." The girl turned to face the voice, frowning as she saw her uncle standing there, a solemn look on his face. She didn't know how to feel. She knew that she wasn't dead—she'd be on the Other Side by now if she were—but he had gambled with the idea that she could.
She stepped backwards as he took a step forward, watching his face falter. He sighed.
"I have done terrible things to you, but please understand that I never intended to hurt you."
"You told me you didn't care," she said, her voice higher. She was younger in this dream; a child.
"I was so blinded by my desire to break the curse my mother placed on me that I didn't think of the consequences of my actions," he explained. "For that, I am sorry, and I hope that one day you will forgive me."
This time, as he took a step forward, she didn't move. She said nothing, waiting for him to continue.
"I want you to know that I intend on keeping my promise to you," he said. "As soon as Mikael is dead, I will undagger him and leave you be."
"Why?" she asked him. He'd never done anything so kind for her in his immortal life.
"Because I have caused you too much pain," he answered. "And for releasing me from that curse, I am indebted to you."
A sharp pain erupted in her abdomen. "Uncle Nik, what's happening to me?" she asked. He could see how scared she was. She didn't want to die.
"Your body is failing," he said slowly. "You're in the hospital."
She could feel heavy tears building in her eyes, making her vision blurry. "Am I going to die?" she asked him, her voice shaking. Klaus rushed up to her, wrapping his arms around her as she began to sob.
"I won't let you, love," he said. "Not this time. I've got you the best doctors. You should be awake soon."
"I don't want to die," she cried. He put a hand on the back of her head.
"I know." He hesitated before continuing, not wanting to upset her further. "I'm leaving Mystic Falls," he said softly. She looked up at him with big eyes. "But rest assured, little one, I will return."
"But you can't leave me," she pleaded. "I only just got you and Uncle 'Lijah back. You can't leave me now." Klaus couldn't meet her gaze; he'd daggered Elijah and left him with the rest of their family.
"I hope that one day, you can forgive me," he said, slowly walking away. Marian's eyes widened, realising what he was doing. He was leaving. He was going to leave her alone in the darkness of her own mind.
"No, please," she cried. "Stay. Please don't leave me. Please."
He said nothing as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes. And suddenly, she was alone. She could see nothing but the black abyss that clouded her mine.
He was gone.
part i: chapter twelve
tvd s2, e22, "as i lay dying"
wc: 1, 466