What Is and What Should Never...

By taintedandloved

29.1K 1K 346

Desdemona Castellanos is almost loyal to a fault. When she notices her best friend Remus distancing himself... More

1. Perfect Prefect Privilege
2. Cozy Sweaters and Bookworm Vibes
3. The Dancing Queen
4. Hallowe'en
5. The Great Sleepover of '76
6. Hufflepuff Pride
7. The Proposal
8. Ballgowns and Butterbeer
9. The Winter Solstice
10. The Hogs and The Meade
12. The Great Sleepover of '77
13. The Terrible Friend
14. A Very Valentines View
15. The House of Loyalty
16. The Library
17. The Giant Squid
18. Padfoot
19. The Lovely Lily Evans
20. The Clash
21. Out The Window
22. The Confession
23. The Talk
24. The Hufflepuff's Courage
25. Godric, The Gloater
Epilogue

11. Exploding Snap

964 31 4
By taintedandloved

HOGSMEADE weekends mean kids are free to go to Hogsmeade on both Saturday and Sunday. But usually those that go on the Saturday stay in for Sunday, and vice versa. Now, this is excluding those like Debbie, who got up earlier than usual on this January morning.

"Where're you going all dolled up?" I ask as I rub my eyes, still in my bed.

"Heading to Hogsmeade." She says, taking out her rollers.

I stare at her for a second, doubting myself.

"Did we not go yesterday?" I ponder and she checks herself in the mirror.

"Yea, but I asked Black to come with me today."

"O-oh." I stutter involuntarily. "Like a date?"

"I'm pretty sure it's not 'like a' anymore." She puts up air quotes before packing her bag.

"He smokes, yea?" She asks and I nod, making her have to look at me for the answer.

She throws in a new pack of cigarettes and I comment before I can stop myself.

"He doesn't like menthol." I blurt out and she furrows her eyebrows, switching the cartons.

"Anything else I should know?" She asks. "Allergies? Preferences? Seems you know everything about him."

"Er - what're you gonna do?" I can't help but ask, not wanting to go down the path she's implying. I'm watching everything she does, like she's going to attack me any moment.

The jealous feeling in my stomach is back and I remember my chickening out of telling her my feelings towards her thing with Sirius. I know it's too late now because they've been out multiple times, and to my dismay, I've seen them snogging when I was trying to get to class. The evil, green monster tells me to hex them and claim it's an accident, but I know that's selfish and wrong. They're both my friends and I should not be thinking those things.

Debbie gives me a look.

"I don't know, mum." She eyes me up and down. "Why, you a narc?"

"Just wondering." I say a little too quickly, then cast my eyes down at my quilt and flush. "I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Can it wait till I get back?"

"It's important." I say, as it relates to who she's going to be with, and what little courage I have has finally built up enough for confrontation. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

"Tell me after." She's about to cross the dorm to leave when I try again.

"But, Debbie-"

"Des." She says sternly. "This is important to me, you know how much I dig him."

I bite my cheek from saying anything else. If this is important to her, I guess I can hold out.

"Right." I back off. "Have fun."

She sighs at me.

"Jane's staying, if you really need to get it off your chest."

I nod once again, staring at the imprints of my legs under the covers. The door clicks shut and I'm left alone in my room, wondering if it's worth talking to Debbie about. Clearly, it's a little too far into their relationship to confess my thoughts - and I'd be a right bitch to tell her that I don't want her to have him for no truly valid reason.

~*~

Jane keeps pestering me to come hang out with her and David. I promised that I would hand out some flyers for her around school, she likes the activist approach when it comes to unfairness she sees, and her cause this time is the inequality and prejudice against magical creatures. Normally, I love helping with her with her causes - especially one like this. But, with my mind on Sirius and Debbie, my origami birds are flying haphazardly towards their recipients, which doesn't look too good for the cause. Janie tells me to stop and eat something for my own good.

My appetite had left as soon as I heard of the date this morning so I didn't have breakfast before I just threw myself into the work. And when I go back to the dorm to put away the extra flyers, I make sure to toss the forgotten fizzing whizbees in my bag. There aren't many kids in the Great Hall and I see Jane wave me over to the Ravenclaw table where she's sitting with David, Iman, and one of David's friends who looks vaguely familiar. I head over and seat myself beside David.

"Iman's told me." Is what Jane greets me with.

They've cleared the table in front of them to make room for a game of exploding snap, but I put my hand up to decline when they offer to deal me in.

"Told what?" I ask, grabbing the nearest clean plate to start eating.

"Debbie and Sirius Black are going 'round." Iman answers.

"Did you not talk to her?" Jane asks, placing down two identical cards and we all watch them explode.

"She didn't feel like it." I respond. "What am I gonna say, anyway? You're not allowed to date because I don't want you to? I didn't know that they've gone this far."

"I reckon it won't be too long." David adds his input and I (guiltily) feel the tiniest bit better with the next thing he says, "doesn't look like they'll last."

I fight the urge to smile as I dig around my bag for the sweets.

"These are for you." I say and pitch them on the table in front of him.

His eyes light up and he immediately disregards his cards - making them explode as a forfeit - choosing instead to indulge in the fizzing whizzbees.

"Wicked." He says. "Have I told you that you're my favourite Hufflepuff?"

I laugh a bit and Jane flicks his arm gently. He places an arm around her and gives her a kiss on the cheek, I turn away.

"Aren't ye cold?" The boy across from me finally speaks.

I look down at my top and think of how Sirius always comments on my unusual winter wear. It makes me wonder offhandedly if he's smoking with Debbie right now, and the jealous feeling returns, but I focus back on the boy across from me and his thick jumper.

"I'm used to wearing lighter clothes." Is what I say, noting that I have a bit more coverage than usually with Remus' button down that I stole, but the tank top underneath and open shirt don't really convey 'winter', but rather a 'summer dad' look. The boy nods as Iman's cards explode and it's now his turn.

They continue their game as I eat my food, not really bothering to join in the conversation they're having. My stomach thanks me for finally feeding it, and I realize that I took more than I can chew. With my plate still occupied, I push it away as Iman is collecting the cards for another game.

"Fancy a round?" She asks and I nod, preferring to be distracted than with my inappropriate thoughts.

"We playing patience?" I pick up my cards and David's friend confirms.

We start with Jane and go clockwise to end with Iman, the dealer. I place down a pair of bowtruckles when David's friend asks,

"He yer ex, er somethin'?"

I look at him. He pronounces his 'o' as an 'ew'.

"Who?"

"Black."

My head shakes and I move my eyes to my cards as I re-arrange them.

"No, they're both my friends." I say and Jane's cards explode when she takes too long to make a decision. She squeaks slightly and David snickers at her.

"Des's protective over her friends." Jane tries wiping the soot off her hands.

"Took her two months to warm up to me." David adds and places down a pair in the nick of time. "Friends? Fine. But boyfriend? I felt like I was being interrogated."

I nod my head, but am not fast enough as the cards in my hand explode as well, clearly getting impatient. I yelp and the boy across from me places down his pair.

"You're totally bugged out, Des." Iman says and plays her turn.

"I'm nowhere right now." I admit and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Think I'm gonna book it back to the dorm."

"I'll go wit' ye." David's friend frowns right after his cards explode.

I give him a confused look as he stands up and nudges Iman.

"Ye comin'?" He asks and she holds up her cards.

"I'm about to win." She tells him and he laughs.

"Well fine." And he turns to David and Jane. "Nice te meet ye."

"Check you later." Jane says and David nods his head, just as focused on winning as Iman.

I bid my goodbyes as well and we walk down opposite sides of the table until we meet each other at the end and walk out the Great Hall.

"I thought you were David's friend." I confide and he shakes his head.

"Iman" He says and I finally recognize that he was her date to the Solstice ball.

"Slytherin?" I ask and he nods, which clarifies why he's walking down the stairs with me and not towards the Ravenclaw tower. Clearly, I'm not able to tell what house he's in without his uniform on.

"Am I good 'nough te be her friend?" He asks with a smile. "Er do I need te prove it?"

I chuckle a bit.

"We'll see." I say as we touch down on the basement floor.

I hear a familiar giggle resonating through the corridor and brace myself as we turn the corner and I see Sirius and Debbie lip locked against the wall.

"Des!" Sirius smiles, turning at the sound of my companion and me. I wave slightly, uncomfortable at what I just interrupted.

"You heading to the common room?" Debbie asks and I would rather not walk with them.

"Oh, no, I - er - need to ask a question." I jab my thumb towards the boy beside me and realize that I don't know his name.

"Charms homework." He confirms at Sirius' raised eyebrow, he looks at Remus' shirt that I'm wearing.

"Cool." Debbie shrugs and wraps her hand around Sirius' as they head on their way, probably realizing the corridor isn't the most private place in the school.

I watch their backs until they round the next corner before turning to the boy beside me, who's leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

"So..." I trail awkwardly. "Name?"

"Finlay Macmillan." He says and I introduce myself as well. Neither of us know what else to say, not with my sudden change in mood.

"I'll wait wit' ye 'til it's clear te go." He offers and moves his chin in the direction Sirius and Deb went. I use my hand to dismiss the idea, appreciating that he's willing to keep me company though. He seems nice.

"It's cool." I say. "But thank you. I shouldn't hide away from my friends."

"Reckon David's right, they won't last."

I don't know what to say, because I understand that he's telling me what I want to hear, but I don't like how that's what I want to hear. I shouldn't be thinking like that.

"Well, nice meetin' ye." He says with a lopsided smile and I say 'you too' as we part ways to different common rooms.

I don't catch Sirius or Debbie in the corridor, and the common room is clear, so I camp there under the quilt blankets until my roommates come back; too much of a coward to face Debbie alone.

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