July 3rd 2019
I hadn't seen Harper since Benny's house, which was two days ago. and i was getting a little confused to say the least. the feeling of July was now in the air. the feeling of a month of summer gone, disappeared, and unfortunately the feeling of school starting the next month.
Evelyn has mostly recovered from whatever illness she had. and i no longer worried about it considering she seemed back to her normal, bratty, 11 year old self.
when we walked through town today it was buzzing with the excitement of the fourth of July being the next day. People were out buying groceries, and decorations for their parties that would be held.
"ghost in the graveyard!" i yelled and started running back to base.
the grass between my bare toes ticked as i ran away from Timmy who had been the ghost.
we were playing at Yeah-yeah's house which unfortunately meant running into Bella. But out of all of us, his yard is the biggest and has the best hiding places for games like ghost in the graveyard and sardines.
i made it back to the base, which is their swing set, safely without being tagged. now, Timmy turned his attention to Ham, who was also running back to base.
Bella sits at the end of the slide texting or whatever the hell she was doing on her phone. i don't really care to know to be honest. Yeah-yeah was alway very against the idea of his sister hanging out with us. he also knew how she treated me and wasn't fond of it, to say the least. Yeah-yeah always had my back when it came to Bella. all the boys did. i'm surprised she even had the audacity to be around all of us after all the shit she's been pulling ever since i got back in town.
"if you're not going to play, then get back in the house Bella." Yeah-yeah snapped.
"aw you're so cute, thinking you're the boss of me little bro." she walked over to him and ruffled his hair, to then situate herself on the ground beside Benny. as soon as she sat down, he got up and walked towards me.
"all we want to do is play one game and you just have to come and ruin it." Yeah-yeah doesn't give up.
"how am i ruining it?" Bella stands up again when Benny has walked away, leaving her alone on the ground. "if anyone's ruining it it's her." she pointed her perfectly manicured finger at me.
i rolled my eyes. i don't really care what she says about me at this point. i knew her games. she was just trying to get a rise out of me. it worked that first night, but ever since then i hadn't let her little comments get to me.
"how would she be ruining it? she's actually playing the game. not just sitting on her ass texting people and watching us play" Kenny defended me.
"i didn't even bring my phone." i laughed. "when i hang out with people i actually want to hang out with them rather than text people." i smirked at her.
"oh, i see how it is." Bella walks up to stand so close in front of me our noses almost touch. "little miss perfect over here has her life together and all you guys basically worship her for no reason." she talks about me like she's not standing a few centimeters in front of me.
"did i ever say i was perfect?" i ask, locking my eyes on hers.
this time i was the one who sent her over the edge. she took her arms from her sides and placed them on my shoulders only to then shove me backwards onto the grass.
a chorus of "hey's!" and "woah's!" went around the boys who all rushed over to stand behind me while Benny lifted me off the ground.
"i don't need help!" turn around and snap at Benny, instantly feeling bad when i saw hurt in his eyes. i was just afraid Bella would see me as weak if i couldn't even get off the ground by myself.
"deck her!" i heard one of the boys yell from behind me.
"i don't give a damn if she's my sister, mess her up Brynn!" Yeah-yeah yells.
like i said before, i have never been in any sort of fight before. i walked up to her trying to look tough and was relived when she flinched and backed up when i got close, because i had an excuse not to hit her.
"that's what i thought." i spat and turned to walk away. i could tell all the boys were disappointed they didn't get to experience a girl fight, but i didn't care. i walked by them with my eyes on the ground somewhat disappointed in myself.
-
i lay on my bed in the darkness unable to wipe the image of hurt in Benny's beautiful hazel eyes from my brain. i couldn't help but regret what i'd done to him. after all he was just looking out for me. i'm not sure why i snapped at him like that, but it left me feeling uneasy.
it wasn't that late, only 9:30. i decide to go and apologize to Benny.
"where are you going?" Evelyn eyes me suspiciously from the couch as i open the front door.
"out." i went with a one word reply hoping she'd back off.
"MOM BRINLEY IS-" i run over to her and slap my hand over her mouth before the could shout the rest of the sentence.
"i just..." i say quietly, "need to fix something. i'll be back in a few minutes." she nods and i take my hand from her mouth.
as soon as i step outside i quickly realize the smell of smoke is clearly present. at first, worry washes over me when i look at my house expecting to see flames, but then realize that it wasn't that kind of smoke.
i start to follow the disgusting scent around my house to the side, to see none other than Jordyn standing there with a cigarette in her hand.
tears burned the back of my eyes. she had spotted me and threw it on the ground in hopes that i didn't see it. but she was wrong.
"i thought you were getting better." i say, my voice low but still steady. "I thought you were better than this Jord."
she was quick to defend herself, "i am!" she started walking towards me, "i am i promise Brynn i just-"
"don't bother." i cut her off, holding my hand up to then put both hands in my pockets and walk away.
i leave Jordyn standing there alone to think about her decisions while i was going to go talk to Benny.
instead of knocking on the door, i decide to text Benny. just in case Amy was sleeping i didn't want to risk it.
hey, can you please come outside i need to talk to you.
i type and soon realize i had been nervously chewing on my fingernails. i lean against his house waiting for a reply for a few minutes before i decide to just call.
the phone rings a few times before i hear him pick up. but he doesn't say anything.
"did you get my text?" i ask.
"no." he replies.
"oh, okay," i take a deep breath, "can you just come outside for a minute please."
"sure." and with that he hangs up.
when he opens his door i instantly start talking.
"oh Benny i'm so sorry. i had no reason to be rude like that. it's just that- i'm sorry i-"
"Brynn," he cuts me off, "i'm not mad." he smiles.
"wait you're not?" i ask surprised.
he shuts his door, takes my hand, leads me out onto his front lawn, and lays down on the grass.
"no." he looks up at the stars. meanwhile my gaze is fixed on him. he looks stunning in the moonlight. "why would i be mad at you?" he asks.
"well," sit down next to him, "i was kind of a bitch. i had no reason to snap at you like that."
"no, it's not your fault." he shakes his head, "i should've known you didn't need my help getting off the ground. my instincts kicked in and- i don't know i shouldn't have done that."
"no, i didn't need help." now i lay down next to him, "but, i'm glad you're looking out for me. that should've been what came to mind when you did that." i turned my head to see the stars in his beautiful eyes.
B E N N Y
point of view
i could see her staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but i kept my gaze on the stars considering i've done my fair share of staring at her lately.
when Bella pushed her down earlier i wanted to push her right back. but i knew that for one, i couldn't hit a girl. and two, i knew Brynn wouldn't want me fighting her fights for her. she's not a weak person. she just doubts herself a lot and doesn't believe in violence.
another thing i wanted to do was chase after her when she left Yeah-yeah's. and i regret not walking home with her. i was just stunned with what had just happened.
"so we're good then?" Brynn asks.
"we were never not good." i look at her now and smile, making her blush. it's so cute when she does that.
laying here in the grass under the stars in the moonlight, seemed like the perfect time to tell her. it was just us and there were no distractions.
i think about it for a long time while we lay there staring at the stars in silence for what seems like forever, before we both speak at once.
"hey i want-" i start.
"Benny i-" she starts talking too. "oh, no you go first." she laughs.
"no it's okay you go." i chuckle.
B R I N L E Y
point of view
after Benny told me to talk first i suddenly lost confidence and i'm not sure why. i was just about to tell him how i felt, but now suddenly i was having second thoughts.
"oh," i sigh, "it's just- nothing. yeah don't worry about it."
just then Benny's front door swings open to reveal a tired Amy.
"cmon inside now sweets," she nods her head inside.
"okay," he gets up and i follow his lead, "well i'll see you tomorrow i guess." he scratches the back of his neck with what looks like disappointment written all over his face. but then again it was dark so i couldn't really tell.
"yeah," i reply and he turns around to go inside but i reach out and grab his arm forcing him to turn around. his hazel eyes cut right into my soul taking my breath away. i was going to do it right there, but it just didn't feel like the right time so i saved myself with, "night game tomorrow right?"
he nods his head with a half smile and walks towards his house. i stood there chewing my nails. after he made it inside Amy who had been standing holding the door open approaches me.
"is there something going on between you two?" she smiles at me.
"well-" i stop myself but then continue, "sometimes i think there is but i turn out to be wrong. i'm just very confused."
"you know, when you left Benny tried to have other friends that were girls, but they never worked out. my guess is he was trying to fill that place you had been in his life, but he gave up after a while deciding it would never be the same." Amy shook her head.
"really?" i say surprised.
"yes. but through all of those friendships that he had, he never looked at anyone the way he looks at you." i takes my hand in hers, "he'll come around eventually. he tries very hard to conceal his feelings, but they always come out in the end. maybe he just needs a little hint from you to get the the confidence he needs."
"okay." i look down at the ground, "i'll see if i have the confidence for myself." we both laugh lightly.
-
i'm not really sure how i feel about this chapter. i currently am in the process of writing the next chapter and i like the next one a lot better.
but Bella eww. things escalated quickly with that.
i'm also in the process of coming up with a plot line for a different book that isn't a fanfic but i'm excited for it. it's going to be called "it's a summer thing" and i'm really fond of how it's coming along so far.
i live in wisconsin and the weather keeps messing with us like it will be 70 degrees and sunny one day and the next drop down to 40 degrees like quit playing wisconsin!! ughhhh
thank you for reading:)
published: 4/13/20 ♡