U N T O L D
T R U T H
chapter thirty
I can't stop the shaking. It is a new experience I have had alongside these feelings. I'm so use to the feeling of not being able to breath, that my eyes burn their stare to my hands which haven't stopped moving.
I try to focus on anything else but my body, but looking up I have to see the small beige coloured room. I feel suffocated in here.
The room is so small, and it only has one seat bolted to the ground. I know it's unintentional to be inflicted with these thoughts, although I'm stuck watching Sebastian's death again in my head, and seeing the blue haired girl's body.
"What? What is it?" I can only just see Paige beside me when she peers to the bottom of the building. She let's out a long breath, unaffected by it while I'm stuck still. "Hey- Daphne? You don't look so good, maybe let's step away from the window."
Her hands on my shoulders gently push me out of it's view. I swallow, finally feeling my chest move again as it sucks in more air than I can handle.
Hold it together, Violet.
"I'm going to go tell someone. Try not to have an asthma attack while I'm gone."
I shut my eyes and think about Flynn, Dianna, and Camila all laughing at each other's creative pick up lines they came up with in Hamilton Melt's the last day I saw them all. I think back to every time any of us said something funny enough to make us roar in laughter- Flynn would press his face onto my shoulder to cover his loud laugh.
I think about the last night I saw the Davis boy, he and I lied silently in my bed to take the time to stare at each other, until he poked my hip which made me laugh.
I think about how much I unconditionally love Flynn Davis.
Unfamiliar people in Penn Sterling scrubs suddenly are in the room when I look up. My wide eyes meet at least three pairs of eyes stare back at me.
"The situation is being handled, but for now I'll need you to come with us while we wait for your Doctor." One of the men tells me, seemingly enough he is the most intimating one.
The other two are another man and a woman who move so they're on either side of me. Through the rapid feelings and thoughts swimming in my head, I understand I'm being escorted to wherever I need to be.
I've been in this confined room for what feels like an hour, so I assume it's almost seven forty. It's getting late and I haven't seen absolutely anyone since I was lead here and told my doctor would be here soon.
Almost perfectly timed, the door clicks open and Doctor Graham step's in with a little notebook and pen sticking out of his coat pocket. "How are you feeling, Violet?"
I feel as if I am being detained and interrogated in this unwelcoming room. "I'm okay, I just want to go to bed." I tell him, knowing the moment I get back to my room I would finalise a plan of action to figure out all I came here for, so I can leave faster.
"I understand that, but there is protocol to follow." The old man's tall stance in front of me is slightly intimidating. "We have to do a mandatory assessment. So all you have to do is answer a few questions and have a chat with me, then you can go to bed and we will continue on tomorrow. Now- I need you to tell me how you are feeling and what is going through your head."
A lump in my throat forms under his gaze. I can easily see through the protocol to know it is a test to see if we would be a harm to ourself, since they can see through most patients lies.
Although, over time I had become better at lying. "I'm fine, I just did not expect to see it. I'm use sights like that, so I'm okay. I just want to eat something and go to bed."
After Sebastian, I'm not use to sights filled with blood and mangled bodies. If I admit or show I'm not, then it'll do nothing but create more mess for me. All I need to do is get the information I need and leave.
Doctor Graham sighs and believes my lie. "Swap your first two activities out tomorrow so we can speak in my room. I'm going to call your parents to let them know that until I deem okay, you will have to stay here. I'll go get a nurse to escort you to the kitchen to eat, then back to your room and she will give your sleeping tablet to you."
He leaves the room and closed the heavy door behind him. I curse loudly, knowing now I can't leave Penn Sterling until he says so.
If that isn't topping my list of worries, it definitely will be his words of contacting my parents. My father had to go down on the legal paperwork in case of emergency- and they have no idea about my parents splitting.
She thinks I can see the dark bags under her eyes, and her hair that is barely brushed. But I can since it is extremely visible. "Do you know how my friends are doing?"
It's Saturday, and I am still declared unable to leave after four days. It would of been fine if witnessing Sebastian's death wasn't a bold life event on my record. There is no mention of who I witnessed be murdered on my record to give privacy to the Reynolds family.
Finally, I can see my mom in the short visiting time slot allowed. I can see that her work and me not being home has made her tired.
She laughs a little and pushes her hair over her shoulders. "Well, on Thursday I had Flynn knocking at my door right before I started making dinner. He stayed to talk and eat with me, and then asked to stay the night." I smile as relief that Flynn had kept my mom company so she wasn't so lonely. "It amazes me sometimes. He looks exactly like Sebastian, but he is an absolute angel. Flynn washed up all the dishes! I don't think you have even ever washed the dishes!"
Another laugh bubbles out of her, making my lips stretch more. "That's because we have a dish washer, mom. What's the point in hand washing them when a machine does it for you?" I owe Flynn one big hug once I'm out of Penn Sterling. Hopefully by next week since Paige and I had finalised my plan of action.
"Yeah, yeah." She dismisses my words and adjusts her grip on my hands- that she hadn't let go of the whole thirty minutes we have been speaking. "I think he slept in your bedroom, but I didn't question it since last night I was babysitting all your friends- so it was the least of my worries. Camila and Dianna have also now taken refuge in my house. They seem okay, they just all take rounds in harassing me about if I know when you're coming home."
I can't help but laugh, and try to battle down the aching in my chest from missing them all. "That definitely sounds like them." I can imagine Camila bursting with the idea of karaoke and making my mom get up to waltz with her. I've witnessed it more times than I can count. "I'm guessing they know that I'm not allowed to leave?"
A lot of things have gone wrong in my plan to get information- first adding another gruesome sight to burn my mind, then getting myself stuck here. I'm sure my friends are undoubtedly mad at me for doing all this for the Davis's.
"That's why they came to stay. I told Flynn that your doctor wants you to stay against the self admittance until further notice. I guessed he told the girls and next thing I knew my house is filled with teenagers." Mom is enjoying their company- I can see it as her eyes slowly brighten.
It's clear to me that none of them have told her why I had really come here in the first place. "They'll be keeping you on your toes, I'm sure." I say. "As for being here, I'm thinking I might be okay to leave next week sometime. I'm hoping- it's been a great help here."
I hate lying to my mom, but if she knew that I absolutely hate it here and am not benefiting from anything- she would ground me for the rest of my life. "You picked the worst time." She laughs lightly. "Laine, Matthew, and Dianna are leaving Friday night to visit relatives. Flynn told me he didn't want to go since it's distant cousins on his mom's side that he isn't close enough with to see. I have no idea what Camila is doing, but I was going to Parksvile on Saturday night. I'll cancel incase you want me to pick you-"
"No, mom." I stop her and give her hands a squeeze. "Don't cancel your plans, I'll work around them. Wait-" I pause to let my eyebrows raise because I finally understood what she was saying. "Why are you going to Parksvile. We don't know anyone out there."
Her cheeks slowly change to a light pink and her eyelids batter a few times to act normal. I can see straight through her. "I'm going with a friend-"
"A friend?" I exclaim, yet again interrupting her so her lips are left parted. "Does this friend have balls, or boobs?"
"Violet!" Mom warns and uses a free hand she takes from mine to gently flick my arm. I laugh at her flustered state- soaking in every moment of my mom being so happy about a person. It's about time she met someone. "For your information, he is just a friend. And no- before you try to interrupt me again, you're not allowed to know his name because you also know who he is."
I want to burst with joy seeing my mom so intrigued by a man- whom now I need to figure out who he is. "Mom, I once called Flynn my friend too, so I'm not going to settle for just you being 'friends' with this man. I want to know all the details about what's happening."
"No way." She denies me of what I want to know. Thankfully, our dreaded conversation we started with- about why I'm stuck here, is long forgotten. "End of that conversation. I'm here to talk about you, not me."
"So that's the code?" My paranoia surfaces as I ask Paige the same question I have already double checked. There's only five minutes left until two doctors or nurses start the first check up of the night.
A nurse had already come to the room nearly twenty minutes ago with my sleeping pill, and to avoid falling asleep once it kicked in, I tucked it under my tongue and drank the water to convince the nurse I took it.
She bought my act and left, leaving me to spit out the tablet. "Yes, it's two-seven-nine-five." She repeats the number written on the piece of paper she gave me. We both were suppose to be asleep ten minutes ago, which is why the hourly check ups are timed to make sure.
I nod and tuck the folded paper into my hoodie's pocket. This whole idea of mine is rather abrupt. I was planned on doing it during the week but Paige said it would only be harder.
On the weekend there is less staff, and the weekends are calmer for patients because they aren't stressed by their activities. This way, I can find what I need, then work on getting more information from Doctor Graham and being able to leave. If I have answers- I can focus on being 'stable' so mom can pick me up.
I had only just seen her today, but it feels like an eternity. "A male nurse checks the boys rooms, and we get a female- obviously. Once our room is checked, you'll only about five to ten minutes to get there and back before they finish checking the top floor."
I soak in her information and feel the slight tension in my chest because of this risky choice. I tug the thin blankets over my chest and get in a comfortable position to convince the night nurse or doctor that I'm asleep.
"It's showtime." Paige whispers as we both hear the doors around ours open and close. I shut my eyes and await to have the room checked. My chest is pained considering I am forcing it to rise and fall naturally. It fights me to continue it's desperate attempts to take in oxygen.
My nails press into my palm and the door opens. The dim hallway light fits my face, staying there for a few moments before it closes. In a quite rush, I rip the blankets off me and stand in front of the door.
"Good luck, Daphne. You don't have a Scooby gang behind you, so don't get caught." I can barely see Paige with the only light in the room being from the moon projecting in our window.
"Fingers crossed." I had been listening to the hall sounds while Paige was speaking, so I can wait until the nurse is gone.
I no longer hear doors opening and closing around here, so as slowly as I can, I press the square in and curl my fingers around the inside of the hollow area to pull the door open.
My head sticks out first, being met with nothing but an empty hall with small and dim lights along the sides of the wall. I start my track down the hall and let my sock covered feet pad lightly on the ground in a rush to beat the time.
It all is seeming to be easier than I expected once I had drowned out the anxiety building within me and filled it with thrilling thoughts about going home. The hall is empty, so I assume the nurse is either around a corner going deeper into the maze of rooms before the next two floors.
The doctors apparently have their own large office room they share that has filing cabinets, as Paige told me. She didn't go through the cabinets, so I am lead of a wild hunt.
I quietly rush down the ramp and keep my ears on intensive listening for the sound of slightest movement. I don't hear anything.
It's a ghostly feeling running down the halls of an empty mental institution- I almost want to laugh at myself for being here.
I reframe and march down the hall that is lined with doors, desperately seeking the one with a keypad on it that leads to a different set of stairs that only takes you down- eliminating my idea of this staircase being used to get to the roof.
I find the door a few down from Doctor Graham's room, so I take out the paper and find the code Paige had written down for this one. They all have different codes.
Four-one-eight-five. I bite down on my tongue as each press of a number beeps loudly. It works and the door springs open slightly, so I slip through it and close it to face the descending stairs in front of me.
Taking a breath with each step, it's only a matter of time before an exit door to the third floor where Paige had found this room. It's the first door handle I have seen in the building, filling me with familiarity when I pull it and peek out into the space.
It's an completely silent hall just as Paige detailed. I force myself to keep going until I find the red door as instructed on the paper, and pressing in the code two-seven-five-nine. The buttons also loudly beep and the door clicks rather loudly.
My lungs hold in all the oxygen and brace myself for being greeted by a staff member who will notify my doctor, and I'll be serving a long time here. There's absolutely no one.
I can feel the relief seeping out of me. I have done it, all without being caught. I close the door behind me and use the dim lights in the room to find the main light switch.
The bulb flickers a few times before brightening the whole room, leaving me to squint to adjust. Even through my constricted sight, I let out my biggest sigh when I see the yellowish filing cabinets against the back wall.
I don't have long to carry out all of my sleuthing meaning everything I do has to be as fast as possible. I hurry to them and figure out there are six draws to each one, and every two draws is dedicated to a year.
I have no clue when Sandra was admitted, so I take my best chance and begin pulling them open until I find her record. Once I do and open it to the first page, I freeze. A small photo of her is held to the papers by a paper clip.
Sebastian, Flynn, and Dianna all look exactly like her. They all have hazel hair and eyes, and the worlds brightest smile. It has been the only smile I have witnessed my whole life to be so contagious- it would make anyone happy.
I don't know why I am surprised to see Sandra Reynolds looking so happy in the photo, but it warms my heart knowing she had so much going on in her life with mental illness, yet she looks so happy.
After flipped through the few pages, it's nothing more than a formal medical outline of her and her stay. If I eventually can't get the information I need, maybe having a photo of the Davis's birth mom would make them content.
As much as it is weird, I slip the photo into my bra incase I am caught and they check my pockets. Stealing will only make this worse.
I scan the room after neatly placing her record back, finding a book shelf with the same blue and gold book on every shelf. I stand closer and read the dates on them, taking out a random one to discover many signatures from visitors.
Visitor sign ins. My heart rate accelerates, sending a ache around my chest to combat with my restricting lungs. My whole body is pained, everything from my lower back to my head.
I find the thick book of Flynn and Dianna's birth year- briefly scanning as fast as I can, but I cannot see a single sign in to visit Sandra Reynolds. I groan and wedge it back then try the year before. My quick scan yet again does not find a single visitor for her.
A dead end. Everything I sent myself here for and planned, is ruined. I have to rely fully on information that I can squeeze from any original nurses since Doctor Graham is another dead end.
At the thought of him, I reframe from pulling a face when his golden name plate on a desk has his name engraved into it. It was such a typical thing to have.
I approach his desk and see the design of numerous rainbow sticky notes stuck everywhere with reminders, and the few photo frames with him and others in it.
I decided on leaving since I undoubtedly am pushing my time limit beyond belief. That is until I finish admiring his photos and my eyes double scan one of them.
A sudden blood rush to my head sends me to a lightheaded state. In an instant I feel every fibre heat up and the hands appear in my chest to wring my lungs out of air.
My hand snatches the photo off his desk to prove to myself that I am not going crazy. Staring back at me is one of the haunting faces of the men who killed Sebastian.
My lips separate to inhale air, but it's as if I've forgotten how to breathe. There are three other unfamiliar faces in the photograph, Doctor Graham in the middle of them all and their arms all resting on each other's shoulders.
They all are smiling, making me feel worse. The photo seems as if it wan't taken that long ago for Doctor Graham's age. The image is clear as day and he looks the same with his greying hair.
The moment only worsens. I hear the beeping noises of the door's code being pressed while I try to put the photo back in a panic. The stand on the frame gives out and crashes back right as the door opens and a startled female nurse is staring back at me.
My heart slams against my ribs so hard I consider the fear of them breaking. Her stare turns solid as it burns holes into my head.
I don't think I would look back on Penn Sterling and laugh anymore like I thought.
Everything has gotten so much more complicated and fearful after learning my Doctor is friends with a man who helped kill Sebastian Reynolds, and now that I have been caught where I definitely shouldn't be.
I bite my tongue and brace myself for the small isolation room I was in a while ago, or much worse.
___________________________________
Hi all! I have decided to change the way my chapters lay out since it is so much easier without centring the first line of every paragraph. I will be going through all of my previous chapters and books to change it.
I'm not sure if I have mentioned it, but originally Sandra's death was written in about her having a fall down stairs that killed her. I had completely changed it to being off the roof at Penn Sterling.
The next chapter will be the last chapter within Penn Sterling.
Until Next Time,
Hannah