Angel
Nandito na kami ngayon sa rooftop. Nilingon ko si Ken na nasa tabi ko na naka earphones at busy sa pinanonood nitong anime. Mga almost an hour na rin kaming nandito pero hindi parin ito nagsasalita since nakarating kami sa building. Back to his own world again.
I'm actually not bothered being with him right now because parang wala lang din naman akong kasama. But I appreciate him being physically here with me kesa mag isa ako dito.
That thought made me smile. I remember Justin. Sa kanya ko kasi narinig yung joke na yun.
I sighed deeply.
Naramdaman kong gumalaw ito sa tabi ko. He reached for the beer can and handed it to me. I opened it and ininom ang beer na ibinigay nito. I heard him opening a can of beer as well. It's a San Miguel Light. Kaya siguro kanina pa ako inom ng inom di parin ako tinatablan.
Tahimik lang kaming dalawang magkatabing maupo. I looked at my watch. Quarter to 12mn na.
Tumawa ako ng mapait nang maalala ko si Justin. I'm at the same place and also around this time when we had our first conversation.
Me: " Ken? " Mahinang tawag ko dito .
Nakita kong lumingon ito pero hindi nagsalita.
Me: " Imagine this scenario. You met someone who makes your heart jump whenever you're with that person. That person's smile that could stop the world." Ngumiti ako and I deeply sighed. " Frequent phone calls, chats, texts and you do couple things then suddenly it all stopped. Stopped for a reason you do not know. " Hilaw akong tumawa.
Ken: " You know what? Personally hindi ako yung tipong gumagawa ng ganun. Hook up is hook up. Ayokong mag effort to get into someone's pants. If there's a sexual tension and you both know that then go. If wala , then wala din. End of story. " Kibit balikat na sabi niya " Madali naman akong kausap " Dugtong nito.
Me: " Oh yeah... I forgot you're not into relationships thingy " Maikling sagot ko habang nakatanaw lang sa malayo.
Ken: " I'm not saying I'm not into relationships. Sabihin nalang nating wala pa talaga akong nakikitang nakapag papukaw ng interest ko ."
Me: " Ang gwapo mo naman... " Naka ngiting sabi ko .
Ken: " Alam ko. " Tipid na sagot niya na inirapan ko . " I told you I have standards in liking someone. "
Me: " Whatever you say " Sabi ko nalang.
Ken: " Oh bat parang hindi ka naniniwala? " Nag pipigil ito ng ngiti.
Me: " I don't know.. Probably because every time we talk, you've been pretty impenetrable. And this is the longest conversation we had. " I admitted.
Ken: " Well.. " Kibit balikat na sabi nito " Pero ibat -iba naman kasi tayo. May mga tao talaga that thinks it's easier to fade away than to deal with the inconvenient truth. They want to avoid an uncomfortable situation, kaya they think it's less hurtful to just fade away than to share their truth." Seryosong sabi nito.
I looked at him. May sense pala itong kausap pag naka inom.
Me: " So ganun nalang ba yun? " Malungkot ko siyang tiningnan.
Ken: " Pwede ring may pinagdadaanan lang. " Casual na sagot niya at nag kibit balikat.
Me: " Ang selfish naman siguro nun.. One day you're both into each other then suddenly cuts you off entirely and leaving you in a state of confusion that keeps you wondering 'what did I do wrong?'. Then days passed and you wonder what happened. Self doubt kicks in and you question kung ano bang ginawa mo para katakotan ka ng taong yun. " Tumawa ako ng sarcastic.
Ken: " I've also been there you know.. " Seryosong tugon nito na naging dahilan ng paglingon ko sa kanya. " Naging super clingy na kasi siya and she already started talking about our future like kasal , after only knowing each other for a month or two. Ayoko talaga siyang pa asahin because to be honest, I was just looking for an easy hook-up. "
Me : " So, you say you were just looking for an easy hook-up. Did you ever tell her that you weren't interested in anything serious?" I asked.
He laughed.
Ken : " Bat parang saakin ka galit? " Natatawang tanong nito.
Shit. Natamaan na yata ako ng alak dahil ang tapang ko na.
Ken :" But to answer your question, Nope. I didn't. I definitely led her on more than I should have, and I feel really bad about that now. " He admitted. " Nag uusap din naman kami ng mga personal na mga bagay. And I actually did kinda like her and felt comfortable with her, but her constant texting, chatting, and her bringing up the topic of marriage was just too much for me. Pero pinag sisihan ko naman yun. Not because I love her or anything, but because alam kong nasaktan ko siya. Kaya since nun, kung gusto ko ng hook up eh hook up lang and I always tell them that I can't do more than that. "
Me: " Ang gwapo mo talaga! HIgh five nga! " Sabi ko sabay taas ko ng kamay na ginantihan din nito.
Ken: " Oh san ka pupunta? " Tanong nito ng mapansing tumayo ako.
Me: " Mag swi-swimming? Wala namang effect yan eh! " Sabay turo ko sa pinamili naming beer at nag umpisa ng maglakad.
Ken: " Sa ganitong oras? " Parang naguguluhang tanong niya.
Me: " Yep. " Maikling sabi ko at nagsimula ng maglakad sa direksyon papunta sa kabilang wing ng rooftop kong saan nandoon ang Rooftop pool.
Nakita kong sumunod ito at kinuha ang pinamili naming mga beer at chichirya.
Me: " Sama ka? "
Ken: " Diba sabi ko sayo sasabayan kita sa trip mo? "
Me: " Kaya mo bang maligo sa ganitong oras? " Paninigurado ko.
Ken: " Ako ang magpapainit ng panahon. "
Tinawanan ko lang ito at naglakad na. Kung ano mang trip ko ay hindi ko alam .
Author"s Notes
Sometimes we blame other people because we think pinaasa nila tayo but we just don't realize that it is also OUR choice na umasa. Expectations can turn into disappointment, resentment, rage-all the things that make this life more difficult that it already is. So I think it is much better to clear things out w/ that person so it won't lead to disappointment. For me, we always have a choice and if we chose na umasa w/o clearing what that person's intentions are because it's much easier that way, then we can no longer blame them. Pero sakin lang naman din yun. hehe..
Justsayin. lol
Anyway, hope everyone is doing great! Don't forget to Vote & Share! 😘😘
Love lots,
Jj (covetfashion14) ❤️❤️❤️