It had felt like a dream. One second I was wasting the hours away in class and the next I was leaving the hall without a best friend anymore. It was too surreal to be true.
But the way my whole body tensed when my dorm mates quizzed me on my early dismissal from class, I knew it hadn't been a dream. Such a strong feeling of hurt had never been obtained like this. Not even in fortunes of what I knew was worse destruction.
While this had happened before, me pushing him away that is, it had never felt like this. The other times it had felt more concrete. I was able to push the emotions down when needed. Now, I felt like jelly. Completely and utterly intangible and unreachable. Maybe that was true agony, the ability to not really feel anything.
I did feel guilt, though, just one day before the task. Hermione had come bursting into our room to tell me that Harry had figured out the egg and that they were all going to the library to figure out a way to not have him killed in the cruelest competition.
Happiness flooded me for a moment, at hearing Harry had a stable foot on the ground. When I asked how he figured it out, Hermione's mouth was left hanging open, unsure if I wanted to hear.
Again, I didn't tell her what happened. But I was pretty sure she had figured out the gist of it. For all she knew, it had been a Yule Ball debacle that had stretched till February, rather than the unspoken for the situation she had with Victor. Either way, Hermione knew I didn't want to think of him. She had just forgotten as the excitement of Harry getting his foot in the door in regards to this task.
"Makes sense." I nodded, playing with my book page. "Harry did help him out with the first one. Only fair."
My friend studied me for a moment. She lost her piqued interest when I looked up to her, instead, she went to grab her sweater. She seemed to find intrigue again right before she was about to leave.
"Why can't it be fair for you?"
"I'm sorry?"
Hermione turned to face me, playing with the jacket in her hands. "Why can't it be fair for you to be friends with him?"
I didn't know what to say. Hermione had never gotten involved in anything that was happening with Cedric. I associated the two friendships pretty differently and quite distanced if I was being honest. Hermione: best school friend. Cedric: childhood best friend.
Former childhood best friend.
Before I could mull over if the childhood part had to be taken from his title, Hermione continued. "You seem to keep falling out with him this year. What? Because of the Tournament?"
"It's more-"
"It's not more than anything." Hermione came to stand by my bed. "Need I remind you my best friend is also in this competition. He's also about to face the mermaids tomorrow."
I raised an eyebrow. The task was mermaids? That hardly seemed like much a fight compared to dragons. Hermione didn't give me much of a chance to ponder the fact.
"And while my best friend also has a very high chance of getting severely injured in whatever cruel game this is,-"
"He's going to be fine." I interjected, setting a hand over hers.
"-I'm going to help him." She finished strongly. "You should help him, too."
I knew we were no longer talking about the same Hogwarts champion. While Hermione's words struck a chord in me (one that made me want to bring up my breakfast from earlier), I had to remind myself they were words I couldn't take as my own. Not with my 'gift' as Cedric called it.
While a new doll for a birthday present had brought friends to me as a child, this allowance only seemed to turn people away. Or at least forced me to turn people away. Little did Hermione know...
No. She couldn't. I'd seen what happened with Cedric. I couldn't lose Hermione. Especially not now.
"I know. But there's..." I let my words go unfinished as I tried to figure out what to say. Hermione hated vague answers. "There's a lot more to it."
While the answer itself was vague, it held so much in it. Apparently enough was shadowed to allow Hermione to accept it. She considered me a moment more. While I knew she wasn't going to press, that had been the most information I'd given to her in weeks, I decided to ensure the conversation moved along.
"I'll walk you to the library. It's only fair."
"To help." She added on, giving me a look.
"Sure." I looped my arm through hers. "To help."
Our walk to the library was a welcomed quiet one. I parted ways with Hermione at the entrance, shooing her away when she tried to pull me in with her. Citing Ron as a much better study buddy than I, I left giggling and Hermione already defeated.
The thought of Ron actually assisting in the search for a potion or charm to either keep the water away from Harry or give him gills lasted me a majority of the walk back to Gryffindor Tower. That is until I ran into the head of the House herself.
"Oh, excuse me, Professor." I spluttered. McGonagall seemed unfazed and instead just looking me up and down.
"It's not a problem at all," I looked down as she said my last name, having never liked knowing I was of her sole attention enough for her to cite me directly. It wasn't until she prompted me this time with my surname did I look up.
She paused, tilting her head at me in a way I'd only ever seen her do when she felt bad. If the familiar look in her eye wasn't one I despised, I might've fallen for the fake pity.
But I had stopped falling for it when I realized the pity was followed by an intrusion. Intrusion upon my own mind, over a power I didn't have control over.
She was going to ask if I had had a fortune. I could just tell. She was a good mix of my father, who was incredibly upfront, and Mrs. Weasley, who coated her words in her homemade toffee. McGonagall did instill more fear than the other two, though. I think it was the title she held, and how hard it was to see her coming from a place of love rather than personal desire or Hogwarts business.
"Are you excited about the task tomorrow?"
Her words surprised me, as there seemed to be no coating of sugar to take out the bitterness. And no forward bitterness to taste in the first place. If I didn't know any better, she was just asking a question to a student. Not a seer.
"Yes. I, uh, I'm looking forward to it."
The witch in front of me smiled and I had to blink a few times to make sure it was real. While thinking about the last time I had seen even a hint of a grin on her face, I missed the change in her expression.
"Looking forward to anything in particular?"
The trap was acutely executed. Had I not been distracted by the smallest looking of happiness in her face, I might've actually caught myself before sinking in. Who knew a smile could be so damn dangerous?
Fortunately, I was done with danger. And just about everything else and everyone else using me to keep themselves safe.
"If you're asking if I've seen the future, Professor," Mcgongaull chastised me again with my name. This time I didn't look down, though. "No. I haven't."
"Miss-"
"And before you ask me if I'm sure, or if I'm even telling the truth," It was my turn to smile sweetly. "I'm absolutely certain. Trust me, I would come to you straight away, the last thing I want is to be the only one knowing."
My final words came out sadder than intended. For a moment, I thought she might not take this with as much seriousness because of the emotion, but when I looked up to see her tilting her head, I couldn't deny the true pity I felt being thrashed upon me.
Before she could ask, if she even would, about what was wrong, I decided to answer her as best I could without appearing too much in turmoil.
"I care about my friends, Professor. Greatly. I would do just about anything to keep them safe." My voice dropped to something barely above a whisper, as if my next words were less of a conversation and more of inner thought. "Anything actually."
"I understand that you and Mr. Diggory didn't work together for tomorrow, is that right."
Merlin, this woman knew everything that went on in this school.
"No." I cleared my throat and forced my eyes upward. "I felt that any of my knowledge would be more harm than help in this case."
I didn't believe my words fully, and it seemed neither did my teacher. She opened her mouth to speak when a door shut loudly down the hall. We only spent a moment peering toward it when another interruption occurred.
"Granger and Weasley are in your office, Professor McGonagall." Moody huffed from behind her. "I see you've found-"
"Very well." McGonagall looked back at me for a moment. She seemed to be weighing something out in her head. "Go to Ravenclaw, next. Miss Cho."
Moody's goggle seemed to fall slightly as his eyebrows raised in shock. "I thought-"
"Go. Now." She said without even looking at the first-year teacher. "Alastor."
Moody seemed to despise his name being called just as much as I did, as he turned around to stumble off toward the riddle-guarded House.
"Don't wait up for Miss Granger. And tell Potter to go to bed. He'll see Weasley soon enough." The Witch strutted past me as if she couldn't get away from me fast enough.
"Professor-"
She spun back around with a flurry, affirming my last name once more. "You haven't seen anything yet. I advise that you go to bed and wake up in the morning. Tomorrow's task will be anything but easy for our Hogwarts champions."
She looked past me toward the direction Moody had stumbled off to. I could see in her eyes that she was trying to figure out if she had just made the right decision.
Why was sending for Cho so important?
I wished more than anything in this instant to know what was going on. Whether fourteen fortunes came barreling one after another, and the light from each one flashed brighter than the one prior, and the information brought was more agonizing than the next. I'd take it. Seeing McGonagull so hazy made me feel just as uncertain in myself.
I almost wanted to laugh. I was wishing after a fortune, which usually never brought answers. Only more open-ended questions.
"Go to bed. Now." McGonagall said, not leaving room for me to ask anything more.
While I seemed to be grasping for even a hint at what was going on, I listened. For some weird reason, seeing McGonagall so unsure, calmed me to the touch at knowing I wasn't the only one scared of what I had just done.
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